I’ve had a crush on her since the first time I made a complete fool of myself in my lit class in front of her. “Alice in- Frankenstein-The Secret Garden!” are actually words that came out of my mouth. I shall forever want to die of mortification.
secret admirer HSAU where Carmilla gets notes in her locker from Laura and they finally meet (ending is all you)
(Will probably be a two part)
To Carmilla Karnstein,
I know this is kind of weird. Okay, no, this is SUPER weird. To find a note stuffed in your locker like this. But I was too nervous to talk to you, so I thought this was the best way to do it. Here goes:
I have a huge crush on you. I’ve had a crush on you all year. And you’ve never really spoken to me, so it’s weird to like you so much, but I do. I don’t expect an answer. Especially since I’m not telling you anything about me. But, I don’t know, I just really wanted you to know.
Have a good day,
–SA (secret admirer)
“You seriously found that in your locker today?” Danny asks.
You roll the paper between your fingers. “Yeah.”
“That’s hilarious, Vampira,” Danny says, “You going to try and track them down?”
“Her. Trust me, if you were the one reading this and saw the handwriting, you’d know it was a girl. And no, of course not. I guarantee you it was a douche trying to mess with me.”
Danny leans against the locker next to me–her locker. Ninety percent of the reason she’s your friend is because her locker is right next to yours. “So, what are you going to do, then?”
“…Hmm…I know exactly what I’m doing.” You grab a piece of notebook paper, and a pen. You use the locker door as a surface and start writing.
To whom it concerns (and you know who you are),
While I am sure you made quite a large sum of money from doing this, or at the very least gained street cred among your fellow nerds, please refrain from breaking into my locker to leave notes to satisfy some stupid bet you made with your friends.
Kindly FUCK OFF,
Slapping a piece of tape on it to stick it to the locker door, you turn to Danny. “Let’s see what my little ‘secret admirer’ thinks of me now.”
“Wow, isn’t that a little harsh?”
“I do not suffer fools well, Danny.”
“What if she’s not lying?”
You can’t help it; you start laughing. “Please, Danny, if she was telling the truth, I’m not wasting my energy looking for her, anyway. Girl can’t even get the nerve to talk to me.”
“Clearly, you want to die alone,” Danny answers dryly, “You have cynicism down to a science, you know that?”
“And you could teach a college course on being a moral compass. Come on. We have class.”
Danny’s mouth quirks to the side. Rolling her eyes, she follows you.
You think that’s the end of it. Except it’s not.
You go back to your locker before lunch and find a note jammed into it. Again. And the note you taped was gone.
“…Really?” You grab it and unfold it.
I SWEAR, it wasn’t some stupid bet!
…Okay, it was. It was totally a stupid bet. But that doesn’t mean that I don’t have a crush on you! I kept talking about you to my friends and they were like ‘girl, seriously, TALK TO HER. And I was like ‘no, I’m too scared’ so finally they said I needed to tell you I liked you or else I had to do all of their homework for a month.
So, I made that bet, but only so I’d have the courage to do it. I mean, I’m just a nerdy freshman girl who eats way too many snack cakes. You’re a super cool senior with an awesome punk wardrobe. Who wouldn’t need a little push, you know?
I’m really sorry you thought I was making fun of you.
Leaving you alone (from this note on),
“Seriously?” You shove the note in your pocket and walk down to lunch.
“…Hey, Vampira,” Danny says when you sit down, “Walked past your locker earlier. You get in trouble for writing ‘fuck off’ on a piece of paper and taping it to your locker door?”
“No. I think my little crush saw it and grabbed it.” You take out the new note and show her.
“Hey, wait, Carmilla’s got a crush?”
“No, Kirsch, someone’s got a crush on her.”
“Seriously? Bro, let me see!”
“Danny, you can’t show–”
She passes it to Kirsch.
“Yo, Will, your sister’s got someone crushing on her, and she’s only a grade below you.”
“Wow, she’s brave if she’s writing you notes, Sugar-Puss.”
“Will, give it back!” You snatch it out of his hand.
“What, you thinking of trying to find her?”
“No, but…okay, so maybe I’m a little curious. She bothered to apologize. That’s kind of surprising, isn’t it? Of course I don’t want to date her. I don’t even know her. Plus, she’s a freshman. That’s just weird.” You appeal to Danny, “That’s weird, right?”
Danny looks away from you. “Well, not super weird. I wouldn’t call you a pervert or anything.”
Will and Kirsch look at her. “Whoa, Lawrence, who are you thinking about?”
“Xena, spill it.”
Danny stares at all of you before huffing. “There’s a girl that joined my Book slash writing club, okay? She’s a freshman, but she’s really cute. And smart, you know? She’s not immature.”
“And who is this future wife material?”
Danny glares at you. “Her name is Laura, for your information. And she’s not my future anything material. We just became friends.”
“Danny, you’re an attractive senior with a Letterman Jacket. She’s a freshman. If she says no she’d be an idiot.” You shrug. “Just being objective.”
“Can we stop talking about me and start talking about how you are going to figure out who this girl is?”
You shrug again. “Only one thing I can do. Keep writing notes.
Despite my greatest efforts to ignore you, these notes are intriguing me. I do not expect you to tell me who you are, but if you are really so smitten, then I’m sure you won’t resist the opportunity to keep talking to me. So, you’ll find any of my further responses in my locker. Please lift this paper up.
Yes, it is a huge risk. Anyone who wants to know your locker combination until this is taken down will know it. Not to mention the person this note is directed toward will definitely know it. Still. What is in your locker that you really care about? No one follows the rule about leaving your phone inside.
So someone might steal your math textbook. Boo hoo.
The next morning, your secret admirer took the bait. In a very weird way. Sitting on top of a pile of your text books is a perfectly folded paper crane.
You unfold it.
You’re right, I couldn’t resist. I mean, WOW, I didn’t think you would be willing to risk me stealing your stuff or something. So, as a thank you…yeah, I do origami. From now on I’m going to leave my notes like this. :)
My friends don’t know that we’re still communicating, BTW. So you have nothing to fear about it being a joke anymore.
So I guess we just talk then, right? What do you want to talk about?
Can’t wait to hear from you,
Origami. Wow, she is a nerd.
A real name would be nice.
You get a response when you check your locker in between classes, also folded into a bird.
Ell. Call me Ell. Now can we talk about something? Pick anything!
You tear out a piece of paper from your workbook and scribble something down.
Well, besides being curious as to all the reasons you are so taken with me…how about…what is your favorite subject, I guess.
You doubt Ell is her real name, but you like it. It’s kind of pretty.
“Hold on, Danny, I’m writing something.”
“You’re always writing something now, Vampira. You’ve been at this for a month.”
“I know, but I’m trying to pry information out of her.” You finish writing and slip the note in the locker.
“So, you’ve been doing this old-school texting for weeks, and you still can’t figure out who it is?”
“Well, I’m getting closer.” You pull out your notebook. “Ell is a freshman. Her favorite books are The Secret Garden and Alice in Wonderland. She loves snack food. She mentioned wearing a ponytail once, so she has long hair–”
“Seriously, just admit you have a crush on her too!”
“I’ve never met her, Danny, I don’t have a crush on her.”
“But her personality.”
You think about it. You have to admit that this had started out as a game…but now you’re genuinely enjoying Ell’s little origami notes.
On the other hand, she’s described herself as a nerdy girl that eats way too many snack cakes. And she’s a freshman. How attractive could she be?
“…I will admit she’s not annoying. I wouldn’t mind being friends. Hence why I’m trying to figure out why she is.”
“Hopefully you’ll figure it out in time for prom,” Danny says with a wink.
“Shut up. Why are you talking to me, anyway?”
“You have been putting off coming to book and writing club all year. You don’t have to go home right away. I am forcing you to come this time.”
“Danny, I know I said it, but that doesn’t mean I really wanted to.”
“Not giving you the option. Come on, Carmilla.”
You groan. You like reading, but you enjoy it specifically because it didn’t involve interacting with people.
“Come on, it’s in Mrs. Cochrane’s room.”
You walk in. You see Sarah Jane, Elsie, and Natalie already inside. The desks have been moved so they’re in a circle.
There’s another girl you don’t recognize.
“Alright, guys, what have we read this week?” Danny asks. “Ignore Carmilla. I forced her to come today so she’s being even more misanthropic than usual.”
You flash the devil’s horns sign and plunk down in a chair.
“Hey, Carmilla, this is my friend Laura,” Danny continues, “You haven’t met her yet. Laura, this is Carmilla.”
Laura keeps her nose stuck in what she is reading and squeaks out, “Hi, Carmilla.”
Geez. Why does Danny have a crush on this girl?
“Okay, let’s talk about what we read this week, guys.”
Your eyes glaze over and Danny is shaking you.
“Carmilla, you seriously slept through the entire meeting?”
“Ugh, I told you I didn’t want to be here.”
“Well, come on. Me and Laura like to go eat pie after meetings. Want to come?”
You look at Laura. Shrug. “Sure.”
You end up in between them. You look at Laura.
“So–uh–what’s your favorite book?”
Laura opens her mouth and says nothing. After about thirty seconds she blurts out, “Alice In–Frankenstein–SECRET GARDEN.”
Alice in Wonderland? The Secret Garden?
And she’s a freshman?
And her name is Laura. Laura. L. Ell.
You’re staring at her. Danny starts laughing.
“Wow, Hollis, you don’t have to be so nervous around seniors.”
“Sorry, Danny, I just feel off today…” Laura mumbles. Danny cuts you off–you have to stop and then step around her–and puts a hand on Laura’s shoulder.
“Not feeling up for pie?”
“No, I’ll be fine. Just a–a cold coming on, or something.”
She’s making a very concentrated effort not to look at you.
“…I’m going to take off, Danny. Will always needs help on his math homework about now.”
You look at Laura. “Yeah. See you tomorrow.”
That’s right. I know who you are. It was pretty obvious once I ran into you.
Let’s get this out of the way. Unless Danny is a VERY unreliable narrator, you guys have had this…almost thing going on. And we have apparently had this almost thing going on.
I may not act like a great friend sometimes, but Danny is one of the most loyal, and noble people I know. I will not let you continue to lead her on if you really have a crush on me.
On the other hand, I will not lie and say I have not been thinking about how I feel toward you. Your stupid little origami letters have been somewhat of a highlight of my day for a few weeks. Being rather adorable in person is just a bonus (not to mention, how are you so tiny when you, and I quote, ‘live on a diet of twinkies and ho-hos’?).
So, I will do the feminist thing here, and give YOU the choice.
I will be going to prom–I was planning to anyway, my friends were forcing me–and I am asking you to go with me. I will be wearing a tux because I’m weird that way. It’s black and white, dress accordingly–IF you go.
Or, you can choose Danny. I won’t be mad at you for that. She deserves a nice girlfriend, way, WAY more than I do.
But, no matter what you choose, I will not continue communicating with you–in person or otherwise–until I see, or don’t see you at prom next week.
Touched By Stars. The Blind Carmilla AU. Pairing: Hollstein Rating: Teen and Up (Rating May Change) Word Count: 4120 Summary: At first you needed her. Then she needed you. Maybe what you needed Was a little bit of each other.
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So college isn’t
turning out exactly how you’d expected it to. What you’d expected to be
your big college adventure filled with books to read and parties to dance at
was actually a stressful first semester of papers to write and hormonal
teenagers to avoid. Not to mention you’d suffered through your entire first
semester with a crush on your roommate’s
Not that you’d known she was your roommate’s girlfriend when
the crush had developed. But this was Danny
Lawrence. What wasn’t there to like about her? She’s tall and confident.
Really smart and athletic. She seemed to have everything together from what you
could tell. You hadn’t even known your roommate, one Elizabeth (Betty) Anne
Spielsdorf, was dating her when you’d met.
Danny was your 19th Century English Literature
class teaching assistant your first semester. She’d been standing in front of
the class looking completely flawless. Six feet of grace and elegance, her red
hair in a ponytail, wearing a baseball tee with washed-out jean shorts. She’d
been chewing at the tip of an eraser and looking down at a notebook resting on