alia bela

E ela ja lutou por tantas coisas que hoje em dia ela já nem sabe por que ou pelo o que ela deve lutar. Ela arruma forças para seguir não se de onde, chora escondida em seu quarto diversas noite com nedo de que vejam a tristeza que ela se tornou.
Aquele sorriso que cativava muita gente, faz muito tempo que ela não dá, seu olhar perdeu o brilho, seus lábios já não falam coisas belas alias se calam pra tudo. Coitada acreditou em tanta coisa que hoje notou que tudo aquilo tirou sua alegria. Pobre menina só queria achar o rumo da felicidade, mas infelizmente a tristeza chegou primeiro.
—  Cortadora-de-pulsos
Deals.

Warning: PTSD -Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, mentiones of rape, abuse and intoxication. Death of character, possible harm to Jimmy Choos (don’t worry, I’m not that mean) and swearing.

A/N- Thank you for being patient x Also I’ve changed alot, so if you dont get it then don’t be afraid to ask. Somehow imagine that Bela went to hell recently (like a year ago but this is after season 8) :*

Word Count- 3605

***
“Another, please” You lifted your finger catching the bartenders attention who poured you another shot of whiskey.

“So you’re not from around here huh?” you were always fascinated by the bartenders interest in their clients personal lives. It seemed to be a stereotypical thing, like in the movies. You finished your drink and rubbed your face that was flushed from the alcohol.

“nope, far from actually. England” you lifted your finger once more and your friendly bartender poured you another.

“so what’re you doing here?”

“taking care of business, another please” you extended your glass and he happily poured you yet another.

“Thanks” You mumbled before you attached the glass to your lips and tilted your head back, feeling the amber liquid burning your throat slightly as it lubricated your throat. You set the empty glass onto the table and blended into the background of the antique bar.The sound of pool and laughter flooded your head with a constant reminder of your isolation. The misty air of the bar clouded your vision of the depressing and tormenting photo burning in your right pocket. You pulled it out and set it in front of you wanting to heave.

“Who’s the chick? Ex girlfriend?” Your bartender asked as he poured you another shot. You smirked and took the shot setting it next to the photo.

“My sister” you stuffed the haunting picture back into your pocket and felt the buzz of the regretful whiskey take over. You put your finger up again asking for another shot.

“where is she now?” you pulled out a couple of 20 dollar bills not knowing how much the amount had come to.

“Dead. Bunch of dogs got to her” You took another shot and jumped off the stool, walking away from the bewildered bartender. You walked passed the happy people whom you despised and envied their ignorance of reality. The undeniable truth of the supernatural. 

You walked out the bar instantly embraced by the cool crisp air of Mississippi. You pulled out your packet of cigarettes hearing your sisters nagging voice in your head once more.

“BELLA YOU’RE FUCKING DEAD STOP HAUNTING ME” you noticed the stares that walked past you and you shoved the packet back into your pocket.

“youre dead… you’re fucking dead” the familiar knot in your throat started to tighten and you eyes burned from the threatening tears. You pulled out your keys thinking you were in the right state to drive.  You walked over a puddle that shined, reflecting the name of the bar you were in.

“Lloyd's… what a shitty bar” You wiped your eyes vigorously and stumbled your way to your 1967 ford mustang admiring it even in your drunken hysteric mood. You fumbled with your keys and after many failed attempts you managed to sit inside your nostalgic car.

“dammit… you’re dead and it’s because of me” you hit your head on your steering wheel wanting to drive off a cliff but you couldn’t knowing your sisters deal would go to waste.

“deal… i can make a deal. Oh why didn’t i t-think o-f this before?” you scrambled over to the passengers side and violently opened the compartment box looking for your old diary. You remembered to always keep it since you kept tabs on Bela.

“WHERE IS THAT FUCKI- ah here it is” you pulled out the dust covered leather book, decorated in pink butterflies. You opened the book up, flipping through your nostalgic memories until it landed on October 10th 1998.

October 10th 1998

Dad hit me again, this time it was worse. He dragged me by my hair into my room and he did things to me that Bela said to never tell anyone. Mostly because they’d never believe us. I screamed for mummy but she just sat their and ignore our screams. Bela and I thought this was it for us until a lovely girl, who seemed to be Bela’s age visited us on the swings. She told us that if Bela made a deal with her the pain would go away. I just want the pain to go away.

You stopped reading feeling disgusted by the memory of your sick and twisted parents. You threw the book beside you knowing the crossroads demon came to you, you didn’t summon it. You pulled out your phone and dialed an old friend of Bela’s, she said he was supposedly trained in the supernatural field. Your shaky fingers moved the phone which blared white.

“Get a damn grip on yourself, Y/N” Your thumb hovered over Bobby Singer and you clicked on it after a while of contemplation. You placed the phone beside your ear and listened to the rings that could possibly alter your future.

Hello” you heard a gruff old voice coming from the other side that sounded pain ridden.

Uh is this Bobby Singer?” you changed your accent, knowing theres not alot of British individuals in the supernatural world living in America.

Yeah who’s this?” you heard the shuffling of paper and a clinking of some sort of glass. Right, this was the drunk researcher Bela told you about.

My name is Jenna Lugosi” You remembered the alias Bela told you about in times of getting information.

“Lugosi? Why does that sound familiar?

Look it doesn’t matter I was hoping if you could tell me how to make a crossroads deal.

“Kid, with all due respect, i would rather shoot you then let you make a deal

“I’m not a kid,

well then you’re stupider than I thought. Who are you?

That doesn’t matter… listen, I need this deal. It’s not for me, there’s these dicks who had tortured me asking about the deal and I didn’t know it. So they told me I have 24 hours, please Mr Singer, please tell me

“Fine okay. Or you could give me the names of these dicks and i can take care of them.” You pulled out a pen and piece of paper.

no need, the demon will. So what do I need?

“Alright kiddo.  A Crossroad Demon can be summoned by digging a hole in the dead center of the crossroads, burying a box containing a picture of the person wanting to make the deal, some graveyard dirt, and a bone from a black cat… tell me where you are at least?”

A bar called Lloyd's… Mississippi, thank you Bobby Singer.”Before Bobby could reply the line went flat and he checked the number seeing it was private.

“Lugosi… lugosi? Lug-BALLS.” Bobby pulled out his phone again and dialed Dean number instantly.

Pick up ya idgits, pick up” Bobby spoke into the dialing phone hoping that would somehow make Dean pick up the phone.

Hey bobby whatcha got?” after a few rings Bobby heard Dean’s husky voice indicating he was either sleep deprived, drunk or both.

How far are you boys from Greenwood, Mississippi?” He heard Dean mumble something to Sam which made him impatient.

Mississippi? uh we’re in Memphis so 2-3 hours? Why?” Bobby sighed in relief knowing he’d at least attempt to save your ass.

You need to go to a bar called Lloyd’s and stop the girl about to make a deal. Hurry Dean!” Bobby ended the call and tried to reach other hunters to see if they knew you, but the truth was you were invisible in the supernatural world. They only knew Bela Talbot/Lugosi. You never gave out your real name, always an alias. So you were safe, at least you thought so.

“What Bobby wants us to drive to Greenwood?” Sam pulled out the map tracing the fastest route.

“Yeah remember we worked a case their? Like 8 years ago, at the bar Lloyds?” Dean sped up thinking some idiot was about to make a deal, ruining their life forever… well for ten years.

“Yeah the crossroads deal… is someone summoning a crossroads demon?” Sam turned off his flashlight and sat back into his seat.

“Beats me… why should we care if some idiot is signing their life away? We save people Sam… we save them from evil. But when they go out to seek it then it’s not our damn job!” Dean slammed his hand on the steering wheel and tensed his jaw in aggravation.

“Dean… maybe this person doesn’t even know what they’re about to get into!” Truth be told, deals were a sensitive topic for the Winchester boys. After dying several times the one thing that bothered them the most was the ultimate sacrifice they were willing to do.

 It all started with John and neither of them know whether he’s in heaven or not. Dean looked over to his baby brother thinking about the sacrifices he’s made and even though he went through hell, he would still sell his soul to keep his baby brother breathing. After All, it does run in the family.

*2 hours later*

You dug a hole up right in the middle of the crossroads setting the box in the middle. You checked your watch seeing it was 4:00am and not a single soul was in sight.

“Does this thing have a specific time or something?” You felt sober with every breath you took. Knowing if you did go through with this deal, Bela would never forgive you.

“C’mon you son of a bitch” You saw your breath form in front of you and the chills travelled up your spine giving you goosebumps.

“Now now… i didn’t even know my mother. Who says she’s a bitch?” You heard a charismatic voice come from behind you and you turned around seeing a man fit to be a model.

“Dayum… which poor bastard are you possessing?” You felt your heart exhilarate from the possible danger to your life. You hated how condescending you were around things that wanted to kill you.

“None of your pretty business sweetheart. Now what can i do for you?” You shrugged your shoulders and put your hands in your pockets.

“My elder sister is rotting in hell because of me… I need you to get her out. Please…” in the distance you heard a beautiful rumble distracting you slightly.

“Hm… Bela? Sad… she was my favourite chew toy” The demon taunted you with it’s red eyes. You fought the urge to rip its throat out knowing it wouldn’t do shit.

“Please” You saw the way he walked around you, like a child who plays with it’s food.

“Fine… i’ll give you 10 years. Now shall we seal the deal?” You saw him lean in with his eyes closed so you did the same. Your lips were about to touch until you were interrupted by a car blinding you immensely.

“What the- Winchesters” You saw the demon try to force your head towards him but you were shortly tackled by the shorter one of the two boys. You lifted your head up to see the demon trying to get out of his vessel but the taller man managed to push it back into his body.

Et Secta Diabolica, Omnis Congregatio, Omnis Legio, Omnis Incursio Infernalis Adversarii, Omnis Spiritus, Exorcizamus” he pulled out a knife and shoved it into his stomach, creating an orange glow of light to consume him.

“NO dammit…. “ you moved away from the man who tackled you and to the vessel who laid dead. When the realisation of your deal not happening hit, you held your head between your knees.

“you’re welcome lady” You didn’t stop the tears this time and they continued to fall.

“Why did you do that?” Your vulnerable voice asked as your mind brainstormed for more ideas.

“A thank you would suffice. We stopped you from being a complete idiot” The taller man hushed him and he bent down to your level.

“What’s your name?” You wiped your tears away and looked at his eyes seeing pure, authentic sympathy and concern.

“Look we’re not gonna hurt you. I’m Sam and that’s my brother Dean. We can help” You heard Dean scoff behind you and in all honesty you would too. You were too young to understand why Bela made the Deal and when you did come to get it, you despised her for it. She sacrificed her own life for you and now her flesh was burning eternally downstairs.

“Y/N Talbot” you sniffed knowing there was no reason to hide anymore.

“Talbot?” Dean’s voice repeated in what you thought was surprise. You laughed and got up from your sitting position and dusted your pants.

“Yup and I think you two just screwed up the one chance I had to save my sister so there’s your damn thank you” You picked up your box with all your things while the boys spoke behind your back.

“Your sister isn’t Bela Talbot is it?” Dean asked while he reached for something that fell out your pocket.

“She is… guess you’ve heard of her?” you walked to your car expecting your boots to crunch only though it turns out the boys followed you.

“Wait…  Bela had a sister?” Sam whispered and you rolled your eyes facing them abruptly.

“Yes, she did. I am 3 years younger than her and I love her more than my own soul” You turned around again and opened your trunk throwing in your box.

“Y/N… making a de- No! You don’t understand… she’s in there because of me. She sold her soul because of me” You slammed your trunk and Sam’s hand fell on top of yours.

“I’ve been in your shoes but trust me, you’re just going to hurt her even more” Dean’s facial expression seemed unmoved and his eyebrows furrowed.

“Wait.. Bela made a deal to kill her parents. She did that for you?” You were baffled by his knowledge of your private information.

“How did you know that?” You moved your hand away from Sam’s and began to suspect the two.

“We knew Bela quite well. We’re the Winchesters” Dean commented like you were automatically suppose to know who they were.

“I dont care if you’re the bloody Flinstones or Smiths… how did you know my sister?” You saw Sam smirk from the corner of your eye while Dean looked taken back.

“Our deals came up at the same time and she stole my gun” You chuckled at her trait.

“Yeah that sounds like her.”

“So Bela killed your parents because of you? What Daddy didn’t buy you the pink lamborghini you wanted?” You found a sense of familiarity in Dean, the witty remarks. The absolute rejection of feelings knowing they wouldn’t mend anything.

“More like Daddy couldn’t keep his hands off his 11 and 14 year old daughters” you saw both of their expressions turn to disgust, anger and sympathy.

“Y/N we’re sorry we didn’t know” Sam tried to excuse his elder brothers notions and you had a feeling that he had to do that quite often.

“It’s alright how could you? I mean that wouldn’t be your first guess would it? 10 years ago Bela and I had enough. Enough abuse, enough torture, enough taking of our innocence. So one day after my mother stood their and watched our father ruin us i had enough. So this wonderful girl visited us telling Bela everything could go away and we’d live happily for ten whole years” Your vision blurred as the memories kept flooding like a broken dam.

“I didn’t know what she meant. I was 11 for godsakes, how could I have known.” the sobs took over your entire body and you were embraced by Sam. He hushed into your hair and you kept your arms to your side, unfamiliar with comfort.

“Y/N this isn’t your fault. I can’t imagine what you went through but we can help you” You moved away from Sam politely and Dean passed you the photo you dropped.

“We can help you. You don’t need to sell your soul, there’s another way.” You took the photo and smoothened out the slightly roughed edges. You remembered that day like it was yesterday.

Flashback

“Y/N GET BACK HERE I’M WEARING HEELS” Bela giggled as you did cartwheels on the cotton like sand.

“DITCH THE JIMMY CHOO’S SIS AND LET GO” You laughed as you saw Bela fumble with her shoes. She threw them into her silver mercedes and she opened her hair letting the salty wind do their magic. You rolled up your jeans and took off your shirt leaving you in your tank top. Bella did the same and she tucked her tank top into her jeans.

“If i get sand in my vagina then you’re grounded” Bela chased after you and you poked your tongue out.

“Why? youd only be making the crabs feel at home” You laughed at her reddening face and she chased you in an attempt to throw you into the water. As you neared the water you pulled her in falling on your backs which you regretted almost instantly.

“COLD! COLD! COLD! COLD!” Bela chanted as she crawled out of the water and fell onto the sand. You laughed at her running mascara and she kicked sand on your face which you dodged. You sighed and landed next to her staring into the baby blue sky.

“I’m gonna miss this” Bela confessed and you moved your head to the side seeing her cheerful face transform into sullen.

“I’m gonna miss you” You saw a tear glide down her eye as her wet hair glued to her face.

“I’m gonna miss you too, c’mon let’s take a picture.” Bela got up and ran back to the car to grab her phone. You shook your head in an attempt to make the best of a really shitty situation. You hopped up as she ran towards you with her slightly sandy camera. She held it up high and she aimed it towards the two of you.

“Ready? Say Bela is the coolest person in the whole world” You smiled and raised a middle finger in the corner.

“Bela is equivalent to dog poop” She took the shot and she threw you one of her playful bitch faces. You kissed her cheek and she messed your already ruined hair.

“Whenever you feel alone look at this picture and remember wherever you are… i’ll always be there” Bela handed you the camera and you saw the carefree expression you both wore which made you wonder how long it would last.

End Of Flashback

“she was always so sappy” You shoved the picture back into your pocket and stared at the brothers in hope.

“Sam and I have gone to hell and back. We even brought our uncle back. We can help you”  you looked between both the brothers and you felt something click. Like a light switch turned on, a lightswitch of faith.

“If you can help me then i don’t know how to repay you” Dean chuckled and walked towards the dead body.

“Just keep your sister from stealing crap from us” You smiled and Sam’s eyes fell onto yours. He admired the fire beneath the y/e/c tint, the strength you seem to hold. He admired it and for some odd reason he wanted to be apart of that, he wanted to get to know you better, to know if you like chocolate chips in your pancakes or if you’re a dog person.

“By the way how did you make him rewind his exit?” You asked while you watched Dean shove the body into his boot.

“I just said the exorcism backwards” you were genuinely surprised at the logic. You mumbled a wow and he chuckled causing the hair on your neck to stand up. How appropriate. You knew Bela would be rolling her eyes at you two by now.

“So how about we get you back to the batcave and we figure out how to spring Jack out from his box? So how bout I ride with you and Sammy take baby?” Dean tossed his keys towards Sam and Dean smiled at you oddly.

“No wait, how about I ride with her. You needed to do that thing? Rememer?” Sam passed the keys back to Dean and you giggled.

“So subtle” You walked to the driver’s side and sat into your car. In the rearview mirror you saw the brothers play a quick game of rock paper scissors. Seeing Sam win created a swarm of butterflies in your stomach, suddenly you hoped their batcave was miles away.

“So guessing you won?” You mentioned as Sam crouched his way into your car. You saw his legs crouch up and his uncomfortable face was quite adorable.

“You saw huh?” You lifted a brow and saw Dean pull down his window.

“Okay follow me. Nice ride by the way” You winked at him and ignited your pride and joy, following him away from the dirt road. After a while of uncomfortable silence you decided to speak and coincidentally so did Sam.

“Sorry you go” You kept your eyes on the road and waited for Sam to start.

“So… are you a dog person or a cat person?” You chuckled at his completely random question.

“Dog person… for sure” You mentioned and you looked over to see Sam smile showing his indentation of dimples accompanying his bright white smile.

“I have a feeling we’re gonna get along just fine” Despite the dark months you’ve just been through an odd feeling of content washed over you. Like there was a light at the end of that tunnel and you had a feeling Sam Winchester was going to help you get there.

7

14.12.2014:
52 Jahre Bela B alias Dirk A. Felsenheimer

Damit auch 52 Jahre purer Sex, Energie, Witz, Charme und irgendwie ja auch eine ganze Portion Wahnsinn.
Danke für über 30 Jahre fantastische Musik, danke für die faszinierendsten Augen und das unwiderstehlichste Lächeln der Welt, danke für alle erlittenen (und überlebten) Herzattacken, danke für großartige Konzerte.
Alles Gute dem besten Schlagzeuger von hier und jetzt und überall und immer.