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When I Was Your Man

Anon: could you do a fic based of the Bruno Mars song “When I Was Your Man” and have it be kinda angsty? I love that song and your writing. 

Oh gosh anon baby~ I was trying so hard to make sure I wasn’t copying off of staycute1234 with this. Hope you like it :)

Jikook!Angst?

“Jungkook-ah" 

Jimin’s voice wafted through the air, hitting Jungkook’s ears along with the soft melody that had begun to play from the radio the older boy had just turned on. Outside the window, flurries were drifting and landing to make more layers of soft snow on the ground and windowsill. Jungkook had intended to go out to the studio with Yoongi today. They had recently been noticed by a few radio stations and Namjoon was convinced that it wouldn’t be long before the three of them hit their big break. It would only be right, seeing Hoseok had recently gone on tour with his dance crew and Seokjin had just landed a lead role in a huge upcoming movie. The group of friends were gaining luck, and with luck the rest of them would soon be making big moves too. So, Jungkook had wanted to go to the studio to record his EP with Yoongi, until the unexpected snowstorm hit. 

It had gone all night, and when Jungkook awoke in the morning, there was so much snow outside that he doubted Yoongi would even be willing to move out of bed. He would especially stay home if his boyfriend, Taehyung, a singer who was increasingly growing in popularity just like Jungkook, asked him to stay home with the puppy-like face he always made. So, when Jimin showed up to his door with a box of hot chocolate mix and a face lifted in an angelic smile, Jungkook couldn’t tell him no.

They’d been lying around all day, kissing and cuddling on the couch. Now, Jimin was up in the middle of the floor, singing along with the song he had put on, dancing with the beat, singing Jungkook’s name whenever there was a pause in the music. Jungkook just watched him awhile, an amused grin steady on his lips. The older male was moving gracefully across the floor, eyes closed softly as he continued to sing. It was incredible really, the way his body formed perfect lines and turned so smoothly. Where Hoseok’s dancing was quite powerful, Jimin’s was slow and graceful. He looked almost like something out of a dream. 

"Hyung, you’re so pretty,” Jungkook leaned back. 

Jimin finally opened his eyes and a soft pink blush began to creep up his cheeks. The corner of his lips lifted and his eyes crinkled into crescents. Really he was the cutest thing. “No Kookie. Don’t say those things.”

“But you are Hyung,” Jungkook reached his hand out, snagging it around Jimin’s fingers. The older male looked at him for a moment, wondering if Jungkook was going to get up and dance with him. Instead, Jimin was pulled into his lap. The song changed into an R&B piece with piano and strings. “You’re the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen.”

The older smiled again, leaning so he could lean his head against Jungkook’s shoulder. The song droned on in the background as they cuddled. The singer was singing about love and how they lost it somehow and, despite the sad lyrics, the song was beautifully arranged and made them both feel calm.

“It sucks you know.”

Jungkook tilted his head, looking at the other male curiously. “What sucks?”

“No one’s ever going to write something this beautiful for me. I mean, I know it’s sad but, the person the singer knew must’ve really meant a lot to him.” Jimin absentmindedly played with the sleeves of Jungkook’s sweater he was wearing. 

“Or that the person who wrote it for the singer just wanted to make a new hit,” Jungkook almost scoffed. He knew how the industry worked. No one ever really wrote songs for themselves anymore. There were songwriters and then there were singers. Singers just put on the show for the writers behind the scenes. And then sometimes there were people like Jungkook, Yoongi, Taehyung, and Namjoon. All four had equally agreed not to take songs from other writers but to write all of their pieces themselves. It was more personal that way. They’d be able to connect with more people. 

“You know what I mean Kookie.” Jimin’s soft pink lips curled into a pout and Jungkook sighed in awe. It really was quite cute the way he pouted and puffed his cheeks a bit whenever he got frustrated or upset. 

“I know,” he thought for a minute, grabbed Jimin’s chin, and turned his head so they were nose to nose. “I’ll write hundreds of songs for you hyung, if that’s what you want.” Jimin’s eyes lit up and he began to ask over and over again if Jungkook really meant what he had just said. No one had ever told him that they would write a song for him before, granted he hadn’t been with very many music artists before. Jungkook smiled and brought them into a deep kiss before pulling back. “Of course I will. That’s how much you mean to me hyung.”

~ ~ ~ ~

Jungkook fidgeted with the cuffs of his button up, hands shaking with nerves and anxiety. The crowd gathered in front of the stage not too far away was loud enough to pierce through the doors of the dressing room. He watched as makeup artists and other crew scampered around the room, calling out orders and rushing artists up and onto the set. Every single one was setting up for the main event: Yoongi, Namjoon, and especially Jungkook.

It had been two years since he debuted, and he still got nervous every time he performed. But he was still confident in his abilities for he had been called Golden Boy by his fanbase because of his ability to achieve at everything he did. It was also his coined stage name. Yoongi went as Suga now, and Namjoon as Rap Monster. They had debuted only a month after Jungkook and now all three of them were on tour together to promote their new albums that would be releasing. All it had took was a little luck and a few radio interviews and then being sponsored by Big Hit Entertainment. Taehyung, Hoseok, Seokjin, Jungkook, Namjoon, and Yoongi. They were all signed under the up and coming entertainment company and now successfully doing the things they loved.
Everything was perfect. Nothing about what they had now was wrong.

But one thing was missing. 

Jimin. 

The thought of the older male sent a pang to Jungkook’s stomach and he remembered why he was nervous in the first place. It was his first full album and though he never really told anyone but the rest of his friends, it was almost completely written about Jimin. 

All those days and nights in the studio were spent with tears, anger, and confusion. The words had just spilled out on the paper, and sometimes he even found himself crying as he recorded, which often frustrated Yoongi because it made finalizing the songs a much longer project. He’d recorded about 50 songs in a few months, each one about Jimin. Their manager had told him to record other songs for the album to mix things up, and so he had tried for another month to get the thought of the other male out of his head long enough to write other lyrics. 

Five months, 18 total songs put on the album, 14 in total were about Jimin. The leftover four were features he’d done with Namjoon, Taehyung, Yoongi, and a freestyle with all four of them. That session in particular had been the most fun.
Now, Jungkook was about to perform those four songs for the first time before the album came out, and one additional one that had been his first choice when picking songs for the album. It was a song he so desperately wanted to put on because he knew, at the end of it all, he wanted to perform it live, and he wanted a special person to hear it.

A special person whom he had promised a hundred songs. 

Of course, his friends had advised him against inviting Jimin to the show. There were rumors that he was dating a member of some idol group for a long time, and Jungkook had ignored them for awhile. That was until there were fan-captured pictures of them kissing on every blog around. Seeing the picture was when Jungkook began writing about Jimin again, and it had produced the best song on his entire album. And so, against his friends’ advice (and his better judgement), he’d called Jimin’s manager (whose number he attained from his own manager), and requested that Jimin attend the opening night of the tour. He also mentioned that Jimin could bring a date if he liked. 

It had taken all of his will to hang up when he heard the familiar, soft voice in the background saying, “Manager-nim, who’re you on the phone with.”
He was starting to regret his decision. There was one more performer going on before he went on stage, and he was beginning to shake. A hand clasped onto his shoulder and he jumped in surprise. When he turned his head he saw that Namjoon was standing there, smiling widely, revealing his deep dimples.
“Jungkook-ah, let’s head to the stage stairs, yeah? Don’t want to miss our cue right?” From behind him, Yoongi and Taehyung were standing, hand-in-hand. The sight was cute, but also made Jungkook’s stomach turn. He took a deep breath in to calm himself and reluctantly nodded at his pink-haired friend.
They reached the edge of the stage just as the last act was ending. The crowd, seemingly louder than before, cheered and sang along with the current song, lightsticks waving in the air. The round balls on top of black sticks changed color, each change matching the four artists. Gold for Golden Boy, white for Suga, Red for Rap Monster, and Green for Kim Taehyung. It was heartwarming, really, to see their dreams coming true right in front of their eyes. But Jungkook just couldn’t get over the feeling that something was missing. 

The memories hit him like a truck. 

“What do you mean I can’t go with you to your performance,” Jimin had his arms crossed as he looked at Jungkook who was planted firmly against the wall.

“You can’t be out there with me Jimin hyung. You know why. My man-”

“Why? Because you can’t be seen with me while you debut? Think it will hurt your stupid image?” Jimin was livid now, face turning a pale shade of red and lips pursing. It wasn’t the pout like normal and that was a bad sign.

“Now you know it’s not like that…” Jungkook tried to explain.

“Yes the fuck it is and you know it. Your stupid managers think that you dating will make you look like a softy.”

“That’s not true. Yoongi and Taehyung are still together.”

“That’s because everyone already thinks Yoongi-hyung is tough. He’s got this whole bad boy thing going on. You on the other hand…they think if I’m with you, you won’t be as intense.”

“You’re overexagerating.”

“Fuck you Jeon Jungkook.”

“Don’t curse at me…”

“I’ll do whatever the fuck I want Jungkook. You know there are tons of artists out there that would kill to be with me. You know all of the confessions I’ve gotten since I joined my dance company? Do you know how much women and men would give in order to be in bed with me for one night?!”

“Then go be with them then!” Jungkook was pissed now. How could he say such a thing? They were supposed to be together, not worrying about the fact that other people wanted to be with them. The thought of other people flirting with Jimin and he subtly flirting back in a playful way made his blood boil.

“Maybe I will.”

“Fine.” He knew he probablu should’ve said something more. 

“Fine!” Jimin stormed out of the door with nothing more than a squeak from the tears that were threatening to escape his eyes and the sob building in his throat. 

Jungkook had waited for hours, days, weeks, months for Jimin to come back. He sat on the couch every day, waiting for a call or a text or a knock on the door that told him that Jimin was going to come back to him and cuddle with him like they always used to. But that day never came, and one day, when Jungkook returned home from the studio, all of Jimin’s things had been thoroughly cleaned out. It was what finally broke him. And so he barely ever spent a night at home, constantly sleeping on the sofa of the studio or at Namjoon and Seokjin’s shared apartment. Eventually he started sleeping in Hoseok’s apartment, considering the male was never home because of tours with his dance crew.

And after two years, Jungkook was going to finally see Jimin again.

What would it be like?

“You guys are up,” a member of the stage crew patted all of their backs and gave them a thumbs up to go on stage. The stage lights were down and as they walked out there was nothing but the dull hum of one of Jungkook’s tracks playing over the speakers. It was the instrumental version and played at the same part over and over again as the fans began to chant. 

Rap Monster. Golden Boy. Min Suga. Kim Taehyung.” The fans chanted over and over again over the music. Jungkook began to calm down, feeling the adrenaline begin to start pumping through his veins. By the time the lights came up and the real music started, he was lost in the music. First they sung one of his feature tracks, and then Namjoon and Yoongi performed one of their solo tracks along with a joint song which Jungkook and Taehyung spent the entire time adlibbing through as they tried to hype up the crowd. Then came Taehyung’s solo song, which was a fast pop piece, and then it was time for the cypher with all four of them.

While he moved around the stage, dripping in sweat and yelling his lyrics through the microphone, he totally forgot the nervousness he once had. He was on stage, playing around with three of his best friends, and the sounds of the crowd cheering for the four of them only contributed to his high. It was the best feeling, being on stage. 

After the cypher, the four of them sat on stools that had been set up for them and then participated in a Q&A round with their MC. Then they played a game and it was time for Jungkook to do his solo song. The other members left the stage, waving their goodbyes as Jungkook pulled his chair to center and picked up the water bottle the staff had left for him on one of the speakers.

“Before I sing this,” Jungkook said out to the audience. It warmed his heart to hear the mixture of their replies as they anticipated what he was going to say. “I want to say this is the first song I wrote for the album, and quite honestly it’s the one that means the most to me.” Still pumping with excitement and adrenaline, he forgot why he had been nervous about singing it in the first place. He had totally forgotten about Jimin who he had once known was sitting in the first row. All he could see was the crowd of fans. “And really, the entire album means something. Oh I forgot. Shouldn’t I tell you all the official name of the album now?” The fans cheered an almost unison ‘yes’. He had been withholding the name of the album whenever it was brought up in interviews, claiming he wanted to announce his first full album title to all the fans (which he had nicknamed Golden Kids) who had came out to see him. Now was the time.

“It’s called 'Park’”

The fans cheered in approval, but even over the noise he heard a gasp from the front row. He innocently adverted his eyes down to find the source of the noise, and immediately his breath hitched. There, sporting a head of orange hair and soft eyeliner around his eyes, was Park Jimin. Park Jimin with his hands loosely intertwined in another male’s. 

Don’t lose your cool Kookie. They all came out to see you anyway, right? “Well it’s meant the world being able to have you guys with me all of the way. Now, here’s my first, and favorite, song on the album, 'When I Was Your Man.”

The instrumental began to play and Jungkook closed his eyes, refusing to look down at the other male whom he knew would only be staring. Staring right back while he tightly held the hand of his new boyfriend. Instead he imagined all of the nights he spent crying over Jimin in the studio, sobbing in his bed while he curled his fingers in the empty sheets, laying around in the sweater that Jimin had always liked to wear. He took in one deep breath.

Same bed but it feels just a little bit bigger now

Our song on the radio but it don’t sound the same

It was almost painful feeling the words vibrate through his chest and out of his lips. The notes came out with little to no effort and the lyrics escaped without him thinking much about it. Singing the song was so natural, yet it caused him almost a physical pain. He did his best to avoid averting his gaze downwards.

Too young too dumb to realize

The crowd broke out in fit of screaming.

That I should’ve bought you flowers

And held your hand

Should’ve gave you all my hours

When I had the chance

Take you to every party cuz all you wanted to do was dance

Now my baby’s dancing

But they’re dancing with another man

The crowd was cheering as the music continued to play, low enough so they could hear the words. Jungkook opened his eyes and looked straight out into the audience, entranced almost by the lightsticks that were all shining gold for him. This really was his dream. He had everything he wanted. Everything…except one thing. One person.


My pride my ego my needs and my selfish ways

Caused a good strong person like you to walk out my life

Now I’ll never, never get to clean up the mess I made


Each word was true, written when he was in the deepest pit of loss. He’d lost the one person who had meant the most to him all because he couldn’t tell his manager no. Maybe if he had taken Jimin out more, shown him that he really hadn’t minded being in public with him. That it wasn’t just an image. That he cared way more about Jimin then any stupid image. He’d been so immature back then.

The chorus began to play again and Jungkook began to feel the tears gathering at the bottom of his eyelids. It was going to take everything in him not to cry. He couldn’t do that in front of his fans during his first real concert on his first real tour with his friends. Maybe the second, third, or the last. But not the first. He had to make a good impression and how could he do that if he was crying. And he was going a pretty good job so far holding it together.

At least until the bridge came in.

Although it hurts

I’ll be the first to say that I was wrong

I know I’m probably much too late

To try an apologize for my mistakes

But I just want you to know

He glanced down only to see Jimin, standing up, watching him with wide eyes. There seemed to be a tear drifting past his cheek and down his neck, and as Jungkook followed it he noticed the black shirt with screaming gold hangul, “I love Golden Boy”. They stared at each other for what felt like minutes, when it was really only seconds. Then the lyrics weren’t just words scribbled on a paper, not just melodies let out in recording booths, not just a song being edited and tweaked by the company until it was perfect. It was his song for Jimin, and now he was finally getting to say everything he had always wanted to say since he left.

I hope he buys you flowers

I hope he holds your hand

Give you all his hours, when he has the chance

Take you to every party 

I remember how much you loved to dance

Do all the things I should’ve done when I was your man

Jimin stood, widemouthed and dumbfounded, completely entranced by the music. Jungkook only stared back, tears falling down his cheeks and onto his trousers.

Do all the things I should’ve done, when I was your man

The crowd erupted into a fit of cheers, yet Jungkook barely heard them. He was sure they were calling out “Golden Boy” over and over again until their lungs gave out. He was sure there would later be questions all over blogs and social media wondering who the love ballad was all about, none to really know that it was the man sitting in the first row with light orange hair that had inspired not only that song, but his entire album.

“You know,” Jungkook began, unable to control himself. He wasn’t looking at Jimin now, though he had his head turned in a way where he could still see him. Jimin leaned his elbows on the gate in front of the stage, listening intently. Even he wanted to know what the Golden Boy had to say. Jungkook smiled, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. “I wrote that song for you,” he chuckled. “Shit I wrote the whole album for you.” He got up, moving his stool to prepare for Yoongi and Namjoon’s performance which was coming up shortly. “I told you I’d write hundreds of songs for you, but I only managed 50 so far, most of which aren’t even on the album.” He was laughing now, as if the conversation was only between he and Jimin. As if no one else was gathered in the stadium to hear him speak. “Just give me a bit more time, and you’ll have hundreds.”

He began to walk off stage, turning once again towards the audience and therefore back at Jimin who had completely broken out into tears. His boyfriend was situated behind him, holding his waist and oblivious to what was really going on. Perhaps Jimin never told him about us. “I even named it after you.”

Then he was off the stage, filtering through the crowds of people who had gathered, trying to figure out what was going on with his impromptu speech. Yoongi and Namjoon were situated nearby, drinking from water bottles and talking among themselves. When they spotted Jungkook coming down the steps, they called out to him, waving him over.

“That was ballsy kid,” Yoongi muttered, taking another sip of his water.

“Yeah, was he even in the audience?” Namjoon asked, tilting his head in interest.

“Sure was. First row. Got a head full of orange hair now.” Jungkook laughed quietly. “How do you think manager-nim is going to kill me? Easy and quick? Or slow and painful?”

The other two laughed, unable to respond as they were summoned to go on stage. Jungkook looked back out to the stage, almost tempted to go back out in order to see Jimin’s beautiful face again, but instead he headed in the direction of the dressing room. It had felt so right seeing him again. His album wouldn’t be as amazing as it was without Jimin, and so Jungkook had to at least share with him the one piece that had started it all. The one of hundreds of pieces he had promised him.

And there were so many more to write.

4

OH MY GOD EARLY BIRTHDAY STUUUUUUUUFF

So far the spoils: green and black socks and orange suspenders from my Nana. Then this AMAZING Osric the Mermaid shirt (plus a Devils shirt, rainbow zebra socks, Cheetos, Dove milk chocolate, KitKats, and an “I can NOT be replaced” bracelet) from Ingrid (@devsfan55). So far so good!!!!!

NO I’M NOT TOTALLY FREAKING OUT ABOUT THE OSRIC SHIRT NOPE NOT AT ALL OKAY MAYBE JUST A LITTLE BIT BUT ONLY A LITTLE OKAY

zephyr-iffic asked:

โ™€ (From Adam)

Send “♀” for a HEARTBREAKING text.

[Text]: I’ve thought about this

[Text]: Over and over, many times

[Text]: I’ve tried getting these thoughts out of my head but I’m not sure if I’m strong enough

[Text]: I’m not sure if I can go on like this

[Text]: I’m sorry if I wasn’t strong enough

4

I can’t focus on the mission if I’m worried about protecting Rose. Explain: I’m seeing Daniel Sousa but I’m hearing Jack Thompson.

10

“Cas, what’s wrong? Cas?”

A headcanon about where Cas’s mind might be right now now that his vessel’s possessed by Lucifer. Man, what a tragic storyline.

2

Guess who finally got their phone case after it was shipped to the wrong fucking country 😂 Well something as perfect as witch! Dipper and cat!Bill deserves to have taken its sweet time!

For those wondering, this lovely case is from @elentori-art ’s lovely redbubble store! Yes, it is as perfect as it seems! She has lots of things! Like shirts, laptop cases/sleeves, iPhone cases, notebooks, etc… For stuff like Gravity Falls, Over the Garden Wall, Adventure Time, and soon to be available Percy Jackson!!!

So like, if you like cool stuff with hella art on it and good quality, I would highly recommend you going and getting all the shit from her store. Like all of it. Don’t ask questions, just do it, don’t let your dreams be dreams, especially as reality is an illusion and the universe is a hologram. Also you should buy it all in gold. Bye!

No but seriously, I’m in love with this case, the quality is amazing, and the prices were good for the amazingness! Thanks so much @elentori-art Best Mom 10000/10 💯💯