alfie how old is your son

Bad Words -  Joe Sugg

rRequested: Yes

Request: Closed

A/N: This is based in the future, where Zalfie is married and where they already have a kid

Originally posted by mythatcher


Joe and you had been married for three years now and Zoe and Alfie had been married for six years. Zalfie now had two children, Conrad, who was four, and Sophia, who was three. Recently you and Joe had a baby, a baby boy. He was now twelve months old. He was the most precious thing ever. Joe loved his son so much, you could see it in his eyes. He had the same eyes as Joe, bright blue and the same smile. The name for your baby boy, Matthew James Sugg. 

Joe has been bad about how he talks around the baby. You’ve told him thousands of times not to curse around the baby, but he always forgets. Matthew could only talk a little bit, saying “no” and “bye-bye”, but no real words yet. 

Matthew was spending the day with Auntie Zoe and Uncle Alfie, and with his cousins, Conrad and Sophia, while Joe and you had a day to yourselves. Joe and you were just going to relax and catch up on Netflix. Zoe and Alfie gladly took Matthew, since they knew how hard it was with a one year old child. 

You and Joe were currently lying in bed, cuddling, watching “The Flash”. You decided to get yourself a glass of water and walked into the kitchen. You were filling up the glass when Zoe called you. You picked up your phone.

“Hey Zoe, what’s up?” you said.

“Um, Y/N, has Matthew been talking very much?” asked Zoe in a concerned voice. You scrunched your eyebrows together.

“Not really, just simple words like no and things like that.” you said.

“Well, Matthew may have said his first real word today.” said Zoe, still in a concerned voice.

“That’s great!” you said, “But why are you sounding so concerned?”

“He may have said bad word.” she said.

“Great,” you said, rolling your eyes, “Joe will be over to pick him up, I don’t want your kids repeating what my kid is saying.”

“Okay,” Zoe said with a sign of relief, “We’‘ll be waiting.” You hung up the phone and stomped into your and Joe’s room where Joe was still laying in bed staring at the T.V.

“God dammit Joe!” you yelled at him. He turned to you with a surprised look.

“What’s wrong Y/N?” he asked you.

“You and your cursing. Guess what Joe?” you said, sarcastically, “Matthew said his first word today!” Joe’s eyes lit up.

“Really?” he said excitedly.

“Yeah and guess what it was?” you paused, “A curse word!” Joe’s face fell. “I told you not to curse around him, but you never listened. Look what you did!”

“Babe I’m sorry.” Joe apologized. “I’ll go pick him up.” 

“Yes you will and you will apologize to your brother-in-law and your sister.” you said, becoming more calm. “Joe, I didn’t mean to yell but, I just didn’t want to Matthews first word to be a curse word. What are we going to tell others when they ask what his first word was?” Joe laughed and then you started laughing too. Soon you were both doubled over laughing. 

“I’ll go pick him up now.” said Joe, giving you a kiss on the nose on his way out. “And I’ll tell Matthew, no bad words.”

anonymous asked:

What made Balon think he could possibly dominate the north? The surprise attack was clever enough, but he had know that he couldn't possibly have held the north. The Iron Islands, next to Dorne has the smallest population. They have no siege engines and no real tactical advances. Their 'army' is a bunch raiders, sailors, and brawlers they aren't warriors or soldiers. As Stannis has proven when he retakes Deepwood Motte. So what was going on in Balons head? Didn't he learn from the first failure?

No, he specifically didn’t learn for his failure. Balon is one of the most pathetic, reactionary characters in the series explicitly because of his steadfast refusal to admit the truth. Balon is the perfect representation of the Old Way’s destructive uselessness. You can see it perfectly here in the books:

“No.” His father jabbed a finger at his face. “Not here, not in Pyke, not in my hearing, you will not name him brother, this son of the man who put your true brothers to the sword. Or have you forgotten Rodrik and Maron, who were your own blood?”

“I forget nothing.” Ned Stark had killed neither of his brothers, in truth. Rodrik had been slain by Lord Jason Mallister at Seagard, Maron crushed in the collapse of the old south tower

As much as I criticize the show, the exchange with Theon Greyjoy and Ser Rodrik Cassel is an excellent example of crisp, efficient exposition as well as a scathing condemnation of the deliberate blindness of the Old Way, acted brilliantly by Alfie Allen and Ron Donachie. I cannot stress how good this scene was shot; the scripting, tone, score, and facial expressions were phenomenal. The special effects weren’t perfect, but the emotion and intensity of the scene sold it.

Rodrik (Donachie): King Robb thought of you as a brother!

Theon (Allen): My brothers are dead! They died fighting Stark men…men like you!

Rodrik: Aye, they died fighting a war your father started!

Balon blames Eddard Stark for defeating his son when he died attacking Seagard because Jason Mallister was able to repel the invasion. Battle seems to be glorious, except when the Ironborn lose, it seems. Balon constantly blames other men for problems he creates. He argues for a pointless attack on the Mander’s mouth that costs the life of Quellon Greyjoy (or attacking a more productive target, like Dragonstone, ho boy, there’s a doozy of a what-if if they could pull that off).

Balon didn’t learn anything. He just wanted to attack the Starks to drown out the thought that he was powerless once upon a time. He just wanted to revenge himself on a dead man because it made him feel strong and secure, because otherwise, he would have to admit to himself that he killed his sons because of an ill-conceived war, and he thinks that if he can just win round 2, history will vindicate him. His father Quellon became mighty breaking from the Old Way, and if Balon can’t match his accomplishments, then he has to admit that the Old Way does not win as much as the New, and that he isn’t the man his father was. Balon is too vain and too self-absorbed to admit the possibility that he can be wrong.

I’ve written at length before on tumblr about how the Greyjoys didn’t have a chance to sustain a credible long-term campaign to gain territory in the North. They neither had the military to hold their territory, nor did they have the political strength to force a compromise that allows them to keep their gains. You can find it here.

Thanks for the question, Anon.

SomethingLikeALawyer, Hand of the King