alexia tarrabotti

Gail Carriger's 'Heartless': *HEADDESK*
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I really wanted to love this book. I started to. But I can’t–I am LIVID, and I can no longer continue reading the series. It was all I could do to finish the book.
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What killed the book (and, unfortunately, the series) for me was the ultimate fate of Akeldama and Biffy. I put down the book on the spot, and had to walk away until I calmed down.
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I really thought they’d make it; that their love was strong enough. But no. They broke up. BECAUSE ALEXIA TOLD THEM TO.
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*recordscratch sound effect* WHAAAAAAAAT

AND THEN THEY DID IT. WITH TEARFUL RESIGNATION.
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At this point, my amusement and love for Alexia Maccon turned to pure hatred. I cannot believe that a character I loved and was invested in could treat her so-called friend in such a horrible, dehumanizing way. I would imagine that if Akeldama told HER to break it off with Conall, her reaction would NOT be resignation, tearful or otherwise, and acceptance. It would probably involve things getting thrown. Hellfire and brimstone. Possibly teastains on the carpet. You get the picture.

But gay love isn’t real love, and certainly not deserving of respect, right? *facepalm* WHAT. THE. FUCK.
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And that’s why I now despise Alexia with the burning fire of a thousand suns. She knew how much in love they were, having observed and noted it on many occasions. Yet she still ORDERED (not suggested, SHE FUCKING ORDERED) them to split up.
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Pictured above: Pretty much my face at that point
Now I was really upset at this point, because really? Just….really? NOOOOOO. NONONONONO. Guess they weren’t kidding about Alexia being ‘soulless’. Because you’d HAVE to be lacking in the soul department to do something like that to a friend.

And then, because this just wasn’t insulting enough to anyone who has ANY RESPECT WHATSOEVER for loving relationships, Alexia pretty much tosses Biffy at Lyall. AND THEN THEY’RE IN LUV YAAAAAAY. Because hey, one gay dude is interchangeable with another, amirite? Boy, isn’t is handy that Biffy didn’t need ANY time to cope after his breakup with Akeldama? You know, the love of his life? Phew! Good thing gay feelings aren’t the same as PEOPLE feelings! /sarcasm
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This was just so insulting on every possible level. I’m so done with this series.

Now, in all fairness, I wouldn’t have had such a huge problem with Alexia’s trying to split them up–if someone had spoken up and called her bullshit. Just SAID, flat out, “Alexia, just because their relationship is no longer convenient for YOU is no reason to treat them so horribly.”

But no one did–and then it occurred to me that Alexia had suffered the fate of almost every other paranormal heroine ever. She has become The Great White Heroine Savior, and woe betide anyone who disagrees with her on anything, ever. (SOOKIE STACKHOUSE I’M LOOKING AT YOU.) That is something, by the way, that breaks my keyboard just to write. Seriously. The keys are melting as I type, probably from the heat of my fury.

Ok, I take that first part back—I would totally have had a problem with it, because it’s complete bullshit. For fuck’s sake, HOW many times has Akeldama risked himself and his crew for Alexia and Conal? YOU KNOW, IT’S NOT LIKE HE AGREED TO SHELTER AND PROTECT HER ONLY CHILD OR ANYTHING.

And she can’t manage a SHRED of empathy for him and Biffy? Really? Just….really? 

I wanted to love this series, but I can’t do it anymore. Not if it disrespects the one thing I do believe in—love.

I need to go curl up in a ball and write some fan fiction or something to soothe my wounded soul.