Found the perfect cozy read for the last days of the year. (Thanks to everybody who offered winter book suggestions! But I’ve been looking for this one for ages, spotted it at Half Price while buying stocking stuffers and couldn’t resist.)
ALSO for those who wanted more tales of Victor Hugo and Alexandre Dumas being excellent buddies:
When the reading (of Marion de Lorme) was over, Dumas, with Herculean strength, lifted the poet (Hugo) in his arms and carried him about , crying “Hugo, we will carry you to glory! Hugo, you will make all of us famous!” Everyone cheered and laughed….Then Adèle Hugo, carrying herself proudly in silken evening dress, swept into the room with cakes and sherbets and ices. “I can still see the gigantic Dumas,” wrote Henri de la Touche, another witness of the evening “stuffing his mouth with cake , and shouting, with his mouth quite full: Admirable! Admirable! Admirable!”
It was always thus with the Romantics. The hero and heroine died a hideous death in some Gothic dungeon , after drinking their love potion together and singing their tragic love…Everybody in the audience wept, then turned to eat cakes and ices.
The Victorian equivalent of a white male tumblr meninist. Fight his past newspaper blogger ass, though the guy does write about his own "tragic experiences", so be warned that a caricature of you will probably be appearing in his next novel.
idk they're from Yorkshire I wouldn't risk it
Yess he spends all his time in his room writing self-insert Bible fanfic and never goes outside, 10/10 would fight this nerd. You will win. Easily.
Why would you want to fight Mary Shelley???? She's nice and bad things happened to her and she invented scifi! Go reevaluate your life choices.
Don't. He will kill you otp viciously and then spend 38 pages describing someone's hat.
It's 50/50 you'll win, but you might fall asleep from his long-winded prose before you land a punch.
Little is known about him, other than the fact that he had free access to bears and swords and a penchant for revenge and mass murder as plot devices. If you're gonna fight him, watch your back.
Whiny and allergic to adjectives and allegorical and super racist. Fight Him. So long as your childhood can take it.
Shakespeare's biggest fan, so a total dork. Also old and shell shocked. Your call.
Him and his friends will get drunk and gang up on you. Not advisable.
He was once described as "the most generous, large-hearted being in the world" and had extensive military training. Just... don't.
Still alive, so she's got a foot up on the rest of them.
Total fuckin' politics nerd. Will keep a diary of the fight.
You'd feel too mean, it'd be like punching some harmless lana del-ray book club chic. Fight her if you want but be aware of the emotional consequences.
Constantly angry looking. Just look at that mustache. You want to fight him already, don't you?
The sassiest little shit ever. Be prepared for cane wielding sassmeister. You'll probably lose, but it'll be worth it.
Those born to wealth, and who have the means of gratifying every wish, know not what is the real happiness of life, just as those who have been tossed on the stormy waters of the ocean on a few frail planks can alone realize the blessings of fair weather.
I don’t think that people appreciate how wonderfully extra everyone in The Three Musketeers is. Like d'Artagnan is just the epitome of a cringey child and in the scene where the actual three musketeers are introduced Porthos says that everyone knows Aramis is a ho so he should stop moralizing and then Aramis says “I say what I please and at this moment it pleases me to say you are annoying me.”