Golden pendant with
decoration, bearing a portrait of Alexander the Great. Artist unknown; 4th cent. CE. Found at Aboukir, Egypt; now in the Walters Art Museum, Baltimore. Photo credit: Walters Art Museum.
@Neoprusiano Emperador Alejandro III de Rusia, Rey de Polonia y Gran Príncipe de Finlandia Импера́тор Александр III России, Царь Польский и Великий Князь Финляндский Imperator Alexander III Russiae, Rex Poloniae et Magnus Princeps Finlandiae Kaiser Alexander III. von Russland, König von Polen und Großfürst von Finnland Emperor Alexander III of Russia, King of Poland and Grand Prince of Finland Empereur Alexandre III de Russie, Roi de Pologne et Grand Prince de Finlande
Corrupt cops Terry Monroe (Alexander Skarsgård) and Bob Bolaño (Michael Peña) have a cushy lifestyle, framing hoodlums and stealing narcotics as they patrol their beat in Albuquerque. But when an evil British lord (Theo James) pings onto their radar, they find themselves in way, way over their heads.
“It starts and ends with the script,” says one lowlife to another in War On Everyone, as they disapprovingly watch a low-grade porn flick. “If you ain’t got a good script, you ain’t got shit.” Fortunately, the person who wrote and directed this coal-dark crime comedy is John Michael McDonagh, the Irish auteur behind The Guard and Calvary. Both of those films are mordantly funny, unpredictable and set on the rain-moistened Emerald Isle. With his third feature, he has shifted locales to sun-baked New Mexico; but thankfully McDonagh’s delightful weirdness remains intact.
War On Everyone is a spin on maybe the most hackneyed genre of them all, the buddy-cop movie. The customary tropes are all in place: Terry and Bob ride around in their ice-blue Monte Carlo coupe bickering and stopping for cheeseburgers, reporting in sporadically to their grouchy superior (Paul Reiser). There’s a foot chase originating in a strip club and soundtracked by a Fun Lovin’ Criminals track, while another scene riffs on Beverly Hills Cop. But for every moment that seems derivative, there’s a winningly absurd scenario or inspired touch. Terry and Bob, whose names may or may not be a tribute to The Likely Lads, are introduced in hot pursuit of a mime. (“I’ve always wondered… if you hit a mime, does he make a sound?” ponders Terry, shortly before finding out.) There’s also a silly running joke involving our heroes’ ongoing feud with a SWAT team.
The bad-to-the-bones lead duo are joyously over-the-top: Terry, who has thrush and swigs bottles of beer at breakfast, is a lawman so excessively immoral he even outdoes Chief Wiggum from the famous ‘Bad Cops’ skit in The Simpsons, while Bob makes for a fine foil as the family-man partner who’s far from squeaky-clean himself. The stars are clearly having fun, too — this is redemption for Skarsgård after his bland-Tarzan misstep this summer. The villains they’re up against, meanwhile, are intentionally a lot less funny, but memorably peculiar. Theo James, best known for his role in the Divergent series, comes close to stealing the whole show as louche, Homer-literate aristocrat-scumbag James Mangan, not least because he dominates the best shot of the movie as a Steadicam prowls with him through his debauched mansion. Only a late reveal involving him is misjudged, so bleak that it threatens to tip over the whole movie.
There are other flaws: some scenes aren’t nearly as funny as they think they are (an exchange about Steven Soderbergh’s Out Of Sight starts and ends without scoring a laugh) and the plot itself fails to build up much in the way of suspense. But McDonagh — cutting with old-school line-wipes, cranking up the Glen Campbell — is clearly having a blast. The feeling’s contagious.
A thinking person’s Bad Boys, this off-kilter indie crime comedy introduces two deliriously warped lawmen to the screen.
Greatest Gay Lovers: Alexander the Great x Hephaestion
Alexander III of Macedon son of King Philip II, would grow up to be the worlds greatest military commander.
By the age of age of 18, he brought down the greatest empire the world has ever seen. Conquered most of the known world by the age of 33. While never losing a battle.
As a child Alexander had a passion for philosophy. He attended lectures at Mieza, tutor by Aristotle. While there he would meet Hephaestion. Who would later become the 2nd most powerful man in Alexander’s empire. As well as Alexander’s life long lover and confidant.
Their tutor Aristotle described the friendship as “one soul abiding in two bodies”.
Alexander would describe his relationship with Hephaestion, to that of Achilles and Patroclus. Who are said to be lovers by Plato and Aeschylus.
Robin Lane Fox, wrote: “Already the two were intimate, Patroclus and Achilles even to those around them; the comparison would remain to the end of their days and is proof of their life as lovers…”
In 324 BC, Hephaestion contracted typhoid. Hearing the news Alexander rushed to be at his side but by the time he arrived, Hephaestion passed away.
Plutarch says ”…Alexander’s grief was uncontrollable, he flung himself on the body of his friend and lay there nearly all day long in tears, and refused to be parted from him until he was dragged away by force by his companions.“
Arrian states ”…for two whole days after Hephaestion’s death Alexander tasted no food and paid no attention in any way to bodily needs, but lay on his bed now crying lamentably, now in the silence of grief.“
Alexander cut his hair short in mourning, this last a poignant reminder of Achilles’ last gift to Patroclus on his funeral pyre: Arrian states ”… he laid the lock of hair in the hands of his beloved companion, and the whole company was moved to tears.“
Long after Alexander own death one philosopher wrote, Alexander was only defeated once and that was by Hephaestion’s thighs.
SECRET EMPIRE #1 (of 9) NICK SPENCER (W) • STEVE MCNIVEN (A) Cover by MARK BROOKS Variant Cover by ADI GRANOV VARIANT COVER BY J. SCOTT CAMPBELL Hydra Hero VARIANT Cover by ANDREA SORRENTINO Young Variant Cover by SKOTTIE YOUNG Action Figure Variant Cover by JOHN TYLER CHRISTOPHER Villain Variant Cover by DAN MORA PARTY VARIANT COVER BY TODD NAUCK PARTY SKETCH VARIANT COVER BY TODD NAUCK PREMIERE VARIANT COVER BY TBA It’s been building for months, across a bevy of titles! But now, the moment has arrived for Steve Rogers to step into the light and declare his allegiance to Hydra! How can the heroes of the Marvel Universe cope with this shattering betrayal by the most trusted figure among them? And what will this mean for the world? The map of the Marvel Universe changes in ways nobody will expect — TRUST THE SECRET EMPIRE! 48 PGS./Rated T+ …$4.99
The first cover would make a cool poster. I see Sam, Riri, Gwen, Miles, Loki, Kamala, Laura, Viv and Amadeus.
The second cover, the one with Amadeus… I have no words. Okay, I have words, many words. But they’re not okay to print.
Medallion with Olympias. Roman, c. A.D. 215-243. Gold. Walters Art Museum.
This medallion was part of a series made to honor the Roman emperor Caracalla by representing him as a descendant of Alexander the Great. The observe (top) depicts Olympias, daughter of Neoptolemus I of Epirus, wife of Philip II of Macedon, and mother of Alexander the Great. The reverse (bottom) shows a nereid (perhaps meant to be Thetis, mother of the hero Achilles) riding on a hippocampus.
Alexander the III of Macedon, Hegemon of the Hellenic league, Pharaoh of Egypt, Lord of Asia, Khaleesi of the great grass sea, mother of dragons, breaker of chains, considered among the greatest commanders of all time, tutored by aristotle, given command of an army at 16, proclaimed king by 20, conquered the Perisan empire by the age of 26, and dead by 32. In terms of personality alexander was calculating, clever and charismatic, however he was prone to violent bursts of anger, impulsiveness and arrogance. Despite this Alexander never lost a battle. But how did he do this?
Citizens army - Alexander became king after his father was assisinated in 336 BC, he inherited a large army. This army was a professional army made up of macedonian citizens. This army was paid a good wage and was able to be drilled everyday. This was not a mob of peasants and conscripts, this was their job. Each company of troops came from the same area of macedon, ensuring close bonds of friendship and shared culture which lead to greater cohesion on the battlefield.
Combined arms - Alexander made sure every possible man was part of the action. He used variety, his army could be made up of Phalanxes, archers, javelin throwers, siege towers and companion cavalry. Each unit would be assigned a job that played to their strengths and complimented the other units weaknesses.
The Phalanx - The phalanx was often the most used unit in alexanders army. 256 men arranged 16 across and 16 deep. Each armed with a small shield and a Sarissa, this 18ft macedonian pike gave the phalanx greater reach than the spearman. This formation was a bristling hedgehog of spearpoints. Although inflexible. The phalanx was Skilled at both defense and offense. The phalanx dominated the ancient battfields of persia and asia minor.
Hammer and the anvil - Alexanders preffered tactic and highly effective, the phalanx would pin the enemy in place either by a frontal assualt or a defense. Remember horses would not charge a row of spears. While the enemies main force was engaged. Alexander would send his companion cavalry on the flanks. This cavalry was heavily armoured and the finest in the ancient world, this is called “Shock cavalry” their frightening charge and long lances would force the enemy to retreat inward. The enemy now completley surrounded would be sandwhiched between the infrantry and the cavalry.
Flexibility - Alexander was a clever man. Tutored by aristotle himself. This is shown most prominently at he battle of Gaugamela. Alexander faced a persian force commanded by darius III, estimates vary but the persian army was around 250,000 strong compared to the macedonian force of 40,000 men Alexander took his cavalry and rode parralel to the persian heavy cavarly. He had hidden spear throwers and skirmishers called peltasts behind the cavalry, they ran beside him, keeping up with the pace of the horses. Alexander was taunting darius and he took the bait. The persian heavy cavalry gave chase and left a hole in the battle lines, alexander did a 160 turn and poured his cavalry into the gap, his skirmishers let loose at the persuing persians, which unbalanced the perisan cavalry preventing them from turning and chasing alexnader. Alexander then cut a bloody path to darius, who fled into the mountains. The battle was won.
Leading by example - Alexander realised morale was key. He led his personal unit of companion cavalry, 300 strong into battle. Fighting alongside the men in his army, giving them hope and courage. He suffered wounds himself in battle, and bled beside his veterans. At Gaugamela, alexander cut off his pursuit of darius and turned to rescue his friend and general Parmenion. Showing his troops he really did care about their wellbeing.
Campaigning through egypt, babylon, and asia minor. At its height his empire stretched from greece to northwest India.
If you have any ideas for what I should post for next military monday, it can be anything, a battle, a leader, an idea, a concept or tactic, a military unit or formation. Do not hesitate to send in your suggestions, either by message or comment.
“There is nothing impossible to him who will try” - Alexander the great
According to legend, the Gordian Knot was a large mass of knotted ropes attached to the tongue of an oxcart in Telmissus in Asia Minor, now modern Turkey. According to the legend, the knot was created by a peasant farmer name Gordias, who was made king after an eagle landed on his cart, symbolizes approval from the gods that he should rule. The Gordian Knot became a local attraction, the ancient equivalent of the largest ball of twine, located in Cawker City, Kansas.
When Alexander the Great marched through Asia Minor, he was on a mission to conquer the mighty Persian Empire, of which Telmissus was a part of. An oracle prophesied that he who untied the knot would conquer Asia. Naturally many kings and lords made attempts, but ultimately failed when they were unable to find any loose ends.
As Alexander and his army marched through Asia Minor he made a stop at Telmissus to take a crack at it. After carefully examining the knot, he drew his sword and violently hacked it apart. No fucks were given.
Alexander the Great went on to conquer the Persian Empire and more, extending the borders of his Macedonian kingdom as far east as India, because yolo.