You slid your favorite dress on with ease, absolutely buzzing with excitement. Somehow your friend Maria had gotten both of you, and dates, into the Cotton Club. Not only were you going, you were going on Sunday, so someone with a big name was sure to be there. Why, just last week Richard Rogers made an appearance, and the week before that, Langston Hughes. You had no idea how you were going to make this up to her.
One year ago today, I got to meet my heroes: Four of the Godzilla suit actors from all three eras! This includes the original Godzilla actor himself, Haruo Nakajima (I call him “Mr. Nakajeemz”), who played him from 1954-1972! It was truly an honor meeting these gentlemen.
Nobody showed up to my birthday party because fucking Timmy from down the street is having a Transformers-themed party, and they have a fucking moon bounce in the backyard. How the FUCK am I supposed to compete with that?? And his birthday isn’t even for another week!! Fucking spoiled little prick. Today is the day I became a man, and nobody got to witness it. I don’t fucking believe this.
Happy 60th anniversary to my childhood hero and spirit animal!! This thunder thigh’d motherfucker played an extremely huge role in my life, and as stupid and sappy as this sounds, I wouldn’t be the person that I am today if it wasn’t for him. No, really, I know how stupid that might sound, but it’s true. You’ll often find that people who are in any sort of creative field credit Star Wars as their biggest inspiration; the thing that made them wanna do what they do. Well, I guess you can say that Godzilla was my Star Wars. First thing I ever drew? Godzilla. First story I ever wrote? It was about Godzilla. Drawing, writing, acting, filmmaking, and hell, even animation - all the things that I’m into and wanna do, stemmed from watching these wonderful movies at a young age. People dismiss these movies all the time, and they’re the butt of many jokes. They laugh because it’s a dude in this rubber dinosaur suit, stomping on all these miniature buildings, and swatting at planes that you can clearly see the strings attached to. They write it off as being “cheap”, but I never saw it that way. I watch these movies, and the hard work and creativity really shines through. The way I see it, because you can tell everything looks fake, it almost invites you into the filmmaking process. You get to see all the unique and creative ways everything came together, all done by people with hardly any time, resources, or money, who just wanted to make a movie. Everything you see on screen was done by hand, and I feel that because of that, it adds so much charm and craft that you just don’t find in movies nowadays. All those miniatures you see that recreate parts of actual cities, were all painstakingly made by hand, just so they could get destroyed. A giant three-headed dragon would be relatively easy to render on a computer, and it would look infinitely more realistic, but when it’s brought to life by several people - a man inside a suit, and multiple people above on balconies puppeteering not only its three heads, but two wings and two tails, that’s more impressive to me. I feel like I’m kinda rambling at this point, but basically, it’s stuff like that that really opened up my eyes as a kid and inspired me to want to create. I hope that with all that I want to do, I’ll someday get a chance to do something that involves him, and have the honor of leaving even a small mark in this character’s rich history.
Sharknado 4: Whatever the Hell It’s Called -- #Swell4Sharknado4!
Hi! I’m Alexander the Swell. You’re probably seeing this on your dashboard and wondering who the poop I am, and why you’re even following my blog. I’m the dumbass that made that “I LOVE SHARKS!” video last year that unexpectedly exploded on the Internet, garnering millions of views across Tumblr and Facebook with the help of people that ripped the video and uploaded it to their own pages instead of linking to my original upload which has a teeny fraction of those views but it’s cool I ain’t even salty about it actually okay I lied I’m a little salty shared it with others!
So, why am I randomly stating all this, you ask? Well, I’m gonna try and keep it short, sweet, and sexy*! An idea popped in my head that I thought would be pretty funny/cool/ridiculous: I wanna get killed by a shark in the next sequel in the critically acclaimed, Oscar-winning film franchise loved the world over – Sharknado. Even if it was just a quick thing, I think that’d be a lot of fun! I’ve never done or asked for anything like this, but basically, I wanna try and use my 15 minutes of fame to maybe weasel my way into the movie, haha.
If you’re diggitty-diggitty down with this idea and this is something you might wanna see, please share this post! This is all probably gonna fall flat on its ass, but I figured it’s worth a shot! Let’s get this shit trending so that it can hopefully reach the folks behind the movie! Even if you hate my dopey-ass, this is still for you! I mean, you can potentially see me get riggity-riggity wrecked by a fucking SHARK!
Haha, thanks guys! #Swell4Sharknado4!
*Nothing in this post will be sexy – my apologies.