remember when Alex’s love for Kara was emphasised so much that Astra realised how much Alex cared for Kara, and went to her to stop the black mercy before she even knew they were sisters? remember when Alex begged Alura’s hologram for answers despite knowing that she wasn’t an actual person and couldn’t help? remember when Alex worked with Astra because at that time saving Kara was more important to both of them? remember when Alex went into the black mercy, into Kara’s ideal world, despite the fact that it could’ve killed her, and Kara loved her so much that she remembered?
remember when Alex never would’ve left saving Kara up to someone else? because apparently the writers don’t
Literally just all the sexual things Alexander Hamilton sent to John Laurens
“I love you.”
This one is pretty self explanatory. Men were much more intimate back in the 1700′s, forming bonds that seem very ~gay~ in today’s light. Homosexuality wasn’t a very understood thing back then because rigid moral codes and censured education prevented people from learning more about sexuality.
But Alexander Hamilton knew.
He grew up on an island where ‘Sodomites’ (gay people) were dumped and allowed to mingle with the island population. Alex knew that there was a certain zone of interactions between men that went from being merely friendly to sexual. He clearly steps into the bounds of sexual while fully realizing it.
“In drawing my picture, you will no doubt be civil to your friend; mind you do justice to the length of my nose and don’t forget, that I [- - - - - -].”
Ahhhhhhhhh my son Alex, could you be more explicit? Alex here is obviously referring to his something else (you know) with the knowledge that John Lauren’s knows the size. This sentence right here is basically just one long ;).
“Your friend” seems to be written teasingly, as if they both know how far from friends they are.
And we can only guess how dirty Alex got in those last six CUT OUT words.
“Dear Boy” [sent by John Laurens]
John laurens calls his wife his ‘dear girl’, and here he calls Alex his ‘dear boy’. Moreover, Laurens did not call any other man he ever wrote to as his ‘dear boy’. Laurens seems to see Alex as on the same level, if not higher, as his own wife.
“Did I mean to show my wit? If I did, I am sure I have missed my aim. Did I only intend to [frisk]? In this I have succeeded, but I have done more. I have gratified my feelings, by lengthening out the only kind of intercourse now in my power with my friend.”
This phrase right here I unfortunately do not see a lot when people talk about Alex and John’s letters. This, to me, is one of the most explicit. “Wit” also mean one’s you know what (here I give a nod to the Ravenclaw moto), so Hamilton’s saying he was pretty much just messing around with John the last letter he sent. This is the only sort of “intercourse” he is able to have with John, as they are both so far apart. He is incapable of ‘sexual’ intercourse because of their distance, so he feels he must, in the 18th century way, sext.
“I would invite you after the fall to Albany to be witness to the final consummation.”
As you might have already guessed, Alex is inviting John to a threesome on his wedding night. The idea that Alex feels so at ease inviting John to a threesome with his wife suggests they have already had something going for a long time now.
“But like a jealous lover, when I thought you slighted my caresses, my affection was alarmed and my vanity piqued. I had almost resolved to lavish no more of them upon you and to reject you as an inconstant and an ungrateful –”
Here Alex compares himself to John’s lover, and a jealous one at that. John seems to be shying away from Alex’s bawdiness, as if realizing how strange their relationships is in retrospect. Alex is scrambling to hang on to him, even though he knows well what are and what happens to Sodomites. He would do anything for John while knowing the consequences. And John is too afraid to join him.
And who the hell knows what the last word was.
“And believe me, I am lover in earnest,”
*cough cough* looks like John knows exactly what happens when Alex’s feeling frisky.
“She [Eliza] loves you a l'americaine not a la francoise.”
The French were renowned for their relaxed stance on extramarital love affairs, while Americans were more Puritan-minding and thought love affairs only should happen in church-sanctioned marriages. Thus Eliza has an a l’americaine love of John Laurens, rather than an a la francoise.
“You will be pleased to recollect in your negotiations that I have no invincible antipathy to the maidenly beauties & that I am willing to take the trouble of them upon myself.”
*cough* this sentence is a bit confusing, and could be taken a few ways. What I infer from this is that Alexander Hamilton is willing, and John knows this, to assume an air of femininity because he finds no fault with it. It was commonly noted by people who wrote of Hamilton that he was very feminine in comparison with other men of his day. Alex’s femininity seems to please John, the topic even having been discussed between the two in ‘negotiations’.
“My ravings are for your own bosom”
Alex desperately misses Laurens’ intimate contact in a way that, in my opinion, could never be mistaken as simply friendship. Alex literally wants to be held by John. How fucking heartbreaking is that.
“Yrs for ever”
Ok, this one isn’t sexual, but I had to add it because it is so heartbreaking. This was Alex’s last farewell note to John. That is, if he even received it. He died shortly after Alex sent the letter; whether he read the farewell or not is all lost to history. Alex loved John so much, despite the fact that both already had a wife. He would have always loved him, even if they had grown apart…
First of all, thanks to @marypsue for listening to my ramblings and giving some feedback about this a few days ago and to @eregyrn-falls for talking about Alex’s Q&A, which reminded me to write it up and post it.
Warning: this is going to be long. Sorry.
One of the things that I’ve always hoped would get an explanation from Alex (but possibly never will?) is the meaning behind the symbol on Stan’s fez/the Cipher Wheel.
First, a bit of a tangent, but I hope a productive one: in GF fanfic, a common issue when Bill and Stan appear together in a fic is that we never canonically heard Bill’s nickname for Stan (assuming he would have given Stan one, which, given Bill’s character, seems like a safe bet). Fic authors usually get around this by having Bill call Stan “Fez,” which makes sense given that’s where his symbol is and it’s a pretty distinctive element of his appearance.
But Bill doesn’t call Dipper “ballcap,” or Mabel “sweater,” or Soos “t-shirt,” even though that’s where their symbols are found. Their nicknames are based on what the symbol IS, and the symbols (at least roughly?) represent who they are as characters.
So, ultimately, thinking about what Bill’s nickname for Stan might be sort of helps clarify what Stan’s symbol might mean vis-à-vis his character. Ahem. Back to the symbol.
The clearest direct mention of the symbol is in Journal 3, when Ford writes that Stan’s fez is from Filbrick’s membership in the “Royal Order of the Holy Mackerel.” It’s totally possible this is all there is to it, it’s a funny fish symbol. Alex’s old DeviantArt account is reportedly holymackerel, so it’s possible it’s just something he thought was funny and that’s that.
But, we all know how much Alex loves to misdirect people – almost as much as he likes to have multiple layers of mysteries and meaning in GF. So I think it’s more likely this is just a superficial meaning for Stan’s symbol.
Looking at the symbol, there could be a few different interpretations, so I’ll present the three most interesting ones I came up with, in order of what I think is the likelihood it’s the real meaning of the symbol.
First, another look at the symbol as it appears on the fez:
Now what if we do this:
Looks like an eye, right? Just one eye?
The least likely theory is that the symbol has something to do with Stan’s character being connected to Bill’s in some way. It’s a cool interpretation, considering how important the idea of the “beast with just one eye” was, and the fact that, as Mr. Mystery, Stan wore an eyepatch (and so had just one eye visible). If you’re a subscriber to the Same Coin theory, this interpretation might work for that.
I personally don’t think this is it, though. So let’s turn the symbol this way:
Notice the symbol in canon art is always represented with these proportions. Now what does it look like? A bit like the portal casting a shadow? Who lived (figuratively and literally) in the shadow of the portal for 30 years? Yeah.
Stan, with his long-standing self-esteem and self-worth issues, saw himself as just “part of a dynamic duo,” essentially Ford’s shadow, not capable of accomplishing anything on his own. So, this interpretation is a little more likely to me, and I headcanon that Bill’s nickname for Stan would be something like “Shadow,” because it’s not only thematically appropriate, it’s snide and hurtful.
But this still doesn’t seem like it’d be an appropriate symbol for Stan’s character. After all, reductively thinking of him as Ford’s shadow would only represent most people’s (and his own self-) perception of Stan in the first (admittedly long) part of his character arc. So what represents the culmination of his character arc?
Let’s turn the symbol one more time:
Well, first of all, there are some similar-looking symbols in the history museum in SotBE:
And on the ur-Cipher Wheel in Mabelcorn:
I personally don’t think it’s related to the symbol that’s similar to the Freemason symbol, because that seems on-the-nose and superficial to be on a secret society fez (though a cute reference), and more related to Dipper’s character than Stan’s. I think the other symbol gives a clue as to its meaning, since it’s also incredibly similar to Stan’s symbol’s shape.
…what legendary bird is often represented in this shape? And the shape on the fez? Wings upraised in a circular shape?
So…my best guess is that this is a simplified, stylized version of one of the best symbols for Stan’s character: a phoenix. The imagery of Stan burning is present throughout the series, and of course, Stan is literally immolated and reborn in the finale. I absolutely headcanon that this is what Stan’s symbol really means. (But I don’t think Bill would ever call Stan “Phoenix,” do you?)
All this is just speculation, though. You’d have to have actually been in the writer’s room (or Alex’s brain), or have done a lot of research into ancient symbols (in so many cultures and historical contexts, seriously – Egyptian symbolism, indigenous American tribal symbolism, secret society symbolism, alchemy symbols, etc) to suss out what everything related to Stan and his symbol (the flag/banners for the Royal Order of the Holy Mackerel, the first symbol in comparison to the second symbol – both work for the Phoenix symbolism, the color symbolism in the series, etc) might mean.
alright don’t get me wrong, melissa killed it in the musical episode and the superfriends were really cute but also what if alex got stuck in music meister’s alternate universe instead of kara?
because let’s be real, alex is probably the one who introduced the wizard of oz to kara so her knowledge of movie musicals is pretty widespread
anyways she gets to this universe and meets barry for the first time and is totally 100% ready to deck him in his dopey smiling face
(“barry allen? as in the barry allen who brought my little sister to an alternate universe to fight deadly aliens because your little vigilante task force wasn’t strong enough?? even though her family is literally trained in fighting and taking down aliens? that barry allen?” “i now see that was a mistake.”)
and alex begrudgingly forgiving and agreeing to work together with barry because she has to get home to her family somehow
and barry understanding why kara literally talks about alex all the time, like alex hung the moon or something, because even without powers alex is probably the strongest and most driven person he’s ever met, accepting the mission and diving in headfirst, doing whatever she needs to do to get home.
(alex mostly just wonders how this universe has a pretty accurate replica of kara’s dorky, loving personality in the body of the fastest man alive. she definitely doesn’t take comfort in the similarities between the two. nope, not at all)
((okay, a little bit. but only because there’s something in barry’s smile that just reminds her of kara, of home))
also, barry and alex fighting over which movie was better, singing in the rain, or the wizard of oz. they finally come to a consensus, saying that the sound of music probably tops both.
also, barry completely surprised at how pretty alex’s singing voice is, because lbr chyler’s voice could probably summon angels
and at the end, when both alex and barry get shot, which honestly, i don’t think would’ve happened because alex is probably has more awareness of bullets and the danger of shootouts than both barry and kara combined, let’s be real
and then cisco vibing iris and kara to the alternate universe
kara would most definitely be there because alex, despite the healing she has gone through over the course of the show, still has a very broken, very damaged heart, what with all of that happened with her father, and she’s probably still having nightmares about the white martian mind meld and the myriad mind control, where she turned on the people she loves
plus all of the inner turmoil in her head with her coming out and also trying to balance work, family, and a completely new relationship
alex is damaged goods, but kara’s undying love for alex would definitely remedy that
(and let’s be real, the love goes both ways, what with kara feeling lonely and like she’s losing her sister, her anchor to reality, so alex totally could’ve saved kara in canon, showing that she’ll always be there for kara and is never letting her go.)
anyways, iris and kara are vibed into the alternate universe and barry and iris have their epic true love’s kiss
kara kneeling next to alex, tears streaming down her face, because alex totally couldn’t be dying, alex was the one to save the rest of the superfam. alex was, is, their rock, and alex couldn’t die on her, not like this.
and alex smiling through bloody teeth and “what i wouldn’t give for one of the deo’s bulletproof dresses right about now,” and kara laughs and grips alex’s hand and presses a kiss to alex’s forehead
and then they’re back in star labs and alex is alive, alive, alive
and kara pulls alex into a rib-bruising hug and j'onn joins in and then they all go home
home, to their earth
home, to national city
home, to kara’s apartment, where winn and james and maggie are waiting with pizza and potstickers and cookie dough ice cream
and alex and kara snuggle up on the couch together, surrounded by their friends, their family, and feel so, so loved
Do you know what’s the saddest part of 13 reasons why? The fact this show is about Hannah and how she killed herself and how the signs were there but no one noticed. How we never saw the signs for Alex. We were too focused on the story being told to even notice Alex how he clearly was depressed. Now we are trying to blame others for his death when he probably tried to committed suicide but we never saw the signs, so we blame others so we don’t have to believe he purposely tried to hurt himself
This scene is quite realistic
I mean alex is pretty insecure how to greet her girlfriend in front of her parents. Should i kiss her …nah maybe this would be too much for them …
And maggie looks quite irritated for a sec that she gets just a kiss on the cheek.
I don’t know but this is exactly how i my introduction went….. so great job supergirl for creating this realistic scene
or…lena doesn’t stop believing in the one person who believed in her
(or…the terrible thing i wrote to get rid of writer’s block and it’s long and sad but has a happy ending)
Supergirl dies on a Wednesday.
when she’s alone in her office in the wee hours of the morning, still in
yesterday’s clothing and unsure when she’d last eaten, she thinks about that,
the utter normalcy of losing National
City’s hero on a Wednesday. Somehow, the death on such a boring day of the week
provides a sort of stark contrast that Lena has trouble wrapping her head
around. After all, surely the hero and pride of National City would fall in a
blaze of glory on a Friday night, a Sunday afternoon, even a Monday morning
during rush hour.
a Wednesday? Some time between mid-morning and noon? When nothing was happening
except for the drudge of the week, the tireless churning of society?
doesn’t understand it—has tried to come to terms with it with very little
success. In her weakest moments, when she’s staring down the end of a bottle of
whiskey or wine (before Jess or Maggie or even James Olsen pry the bottle from
her fingertips and help her get home), she thinks the very banality of Supergirl’s death is evidence of its unnecessary
nature, its needless, pointless, meaningless, asinine—
dies on a Wednesday.
Friday, the President herself comes to National City to mourn the fallen hero.
She talks about the few short conversations she’s had with Supergirl, how
everyone should be inspired and follow Supergirl’s wonderful example. A true
hero, an exemplary citizen.
doesn’t go to the ceremony. She and Alex spend that afternoon in Kara’s
apartment, sitting on Kara’s couch, Alex stoically staring at the television
screen with silent tears running down her cheeks and Lena gripping her hand so
tightly she thinks she’ll break fingers.
that, Lena doesn’t see much of Alex at all.)
I love how Alex just rolls with not only the fact that Lena Luthor, CEO of a multi-billion dollar company and heiress of the notorious Luthor family, casually shows up at her baby sister’s apartment in the middle of the day but also that apparently the two are on a first-name basis