welcome back! this blurb is inspired by Too Close by Alex Clare and I do enjoy this one a lot. gif is not mine :)
word count: 1,108
Spencer sat at the desk in his apartment, staring at his wall, contemplating what he was going to do. You were his best friend, the one who was always there for him, the one who was always able to calm him down, his everything. You were someone he adored, and he would do almost anything for you. And that was exactly why he felt to unsure about your relationship with him. You were nothing more than a friend, but he wanted more.
He knew all of your secrets, your past, and absolutely anything that could come up about you. He was far too close to love you, and he loved you, which was a feeling that was far too foreign to him. Spencer loved other than his mother for the second time in his life, and he was scared.
It seemed like anyone he loved got hurt. His mother has Alzheimer’s and Maeve was dead, shot right in front of him. Anyone he loved was hurt, and he loved you, and would do anything he could to be sure that you would not get hurt. Even if that meant excluding you from his life.
There was a light knock on his front door of his apartment and he knew it was you by how light the knock was. Not a moment later, you opened the door and slipped it, closing it softly behind you. “Hey, Spence.” You greeted softly and tucked your hair behind your ear as you walked in. Immediately, upon sight of your best friend, you knew something was off. “What’s wrong?” You asked, and set your jacket over the back of his couch and sat down slowly.
Spencer glanced at you, unsure, and sighed heavily. “I think it would be best if you left.” He told you and looked away once more, out the window of his apartment.
You checked your watch, confused. “But it is time for Dr. Who. We always watch it together.” You pouted and crossed your arms. “I even brought take out.” You told him softly.
With a sudden jolt, Spencer stood. “Please, leave. I do not want to see you anymore, (Y/N).” Spencer told you and pointed towards the door.
Shocked, you stood. Even though you were reluctant, you grabbed your jacket and purse. “What is this about, Spencer?” You asked him wearily. Your hands were shaking with anxiety from the confrontation and situation.
Spencer notice this, and his heart hurt. He hated seeing you hurt from anything, and to be the cause of it hurt him even further. To be the source, it was nearly unbearable. “This is getting to be too much. We cannot keep doing this.” Spencer whispered, trying to keep himself together.
You nodded, slowly, unsure of what he meant. “Doing what?” You murmured and inched towards Spencer, eyeing him. You knew that he would break the more you pushed him, and you could see it in the way he shook.
“This!” Spencer yelled finally, gesturing between the two of you. Surprised, you stepped back, remaining indifferent. Spencer ran his hands through his hair, stressed. “We cannot keep going about this situation! There are feelings in my head and heart that are unfamiliar and uncomfortable, and everyone I love gets hurt! I can’t have the thought of you getting hurt on my conscience! You mean too much to me!” Spencer cried, unable to contain how he felt anymore.
Silence overcame the two of you. The only noise in the room was Spencer’s heavy breathing. “You love me?” You whispered, shocked and confused.
Spencer had always been your muse, and it was shocking to think that he thought of you in any other way than his best friend. You were simply head over heels for him, and this was some of the best news you had ever heard.
He looked away, towards the wall, and a look of embarrassment overcame him. He did not know what to say in the moment. All he knew was that this was a moment he was not prepared for whatsoever, and he said all he could think of. “I always have.” Spencer whimpered out. “But that does not change that fact that we can not see each other anymore. I can’t love you.” Spencer said coldly, trying to keep his emotions in check, but was failing subtly.
You licked your lips. “Would that still stand if I told you that I loved you too?” You whispered out, watching Spencer’s face contort into surprise and hurt.
His mouth was dry, and he no longer knew what he wanted. Furiously, he wiped his face as the tears split and he turned away, facing the window. “You will only get hurt,” Spencer croaked and you heard the tears affecting how he spoke. “It is not worth it.” He added, and your heart tore.
Quietly, you set your things down once more, and approached Spencer slowly, pressing your front to his back, and wrapping your arms around his stomach, holding him tightly. “My love isn’t worth it?” You asked him weakly as the tears spilled from your stinging eyes as well.
Spencer remained silent. “You will get hurt.” He whispered, and the pain in his voice hurt you as well.
“I’m not going to force you into anything, Spencer.” You finally said and pulled away from him, stepping a few feet back. “But, you know how I stand.” You told him and grabbing your belongings, walking towards the door.
As your hand touched the cool metal, Spencer’s voice stopped you. “I don’t want you to leave.” Spencer whispered softly and you turned, looking at Spencer’s wet and sad face.
Dropping your things, you ran to Spencer, wrapping your arms around his neck, and sobbing against him. “Do not ever scare me like that again, Spencer!” You cried out and let the sobs over come you.
Spencer held you tighter than ever, running his hands all over your back, trying to take in all of you. “You mean so much to me,” he murmured into your hair and stroked it slowly. “Don’t leave me, please.” Spencer whimpered.
“Never,” you answered quietly and squeezed him tightly in your arms.
There was a moment of silent as Spencer held you, taking in all you were. Your smell, your body, the way you fit into his arms as if you were the missing jigsaw piece. Everything about you mesmerized him. “I love you,” you whispered to him.