Listen, this is a headcanon, it’s not fact, so don’t come at me if there are inaccuracies, it’s just how I feel Kara is as a character, okay, and of course I had to write it through Sanvers’ eyes. Enjoy! P.s. Sorry for any spelling and/or grammar mistakes!
“What’s the deal with your sister?"
Alex looks to her right to see Maggie coming up beside her, leaning against the counter, the detective is staring straight forward, as Alex had been previously before, watching the scene, the family, in front of them, arguing and laughing over a game of scrabble that Alex had excused herself from only to get another glass of wine - and only after she had threatened the lives of her friends not to change any of the tiles or cheat… Alex took her scrabble very seriously.
The agent frowns at her girlfriend and looks back out at the scene, Kara was flustered, laughing in her over top way that Alex had seen her do around James, a lot, but this time it was directed at something Lena Luthor had just said and the others were staring at Kara like she was insane.
Alex chuckles a little and turns her back on the scene, focusing now on Maggie who turns her body towards Alex. "What do you mean?” Alex questions with confusion and Maggie looks at Kara briefly.
“Listen, I know the whole gaydar thing isn’t a science-” Alex laughs at that and Maggie rolls her eyes. “I mean you definitely don’t have one-"
”Hey!“ Alex protests. So maybe she was a little oblivious when it came to that sort of thing - not that it really mattered since she had Maggie, she didn’t need anything else. ”You’re the one who read me wrong, remember?“
"Okay but that’s just because you started flirting with me all of a sudden.” Maggie retorts and Alex narrows her eyes.
“I was not flirting, I was being a friend."
"Right, and that worked out didn’t it Danvers?” Maggie was teasing her, of course she was, and, if it wasn’t for Maggie’s beautiful stupid grin, and her dimpled cheeks, and shining brown eyes, Alex would’ve teased her right back but she was just a little, well, a lot, distracted.
“You kissed me.” Alex reminds her and Maggie crosses her arms and raises an eyebrow, her full blown smile falling into a smirk and god was it sexy.
“You kissed me first.” Maggie responds and Alex blushes a little at the memory. She was so embarrassed by that day, still, despite it working out in a good way, the best way possible, but, still, it got her here, standing in Kara’s kitchen with her girlfriend, she still couldn’t believe it, she had a girlfriend.
“You were asking about my sister,” Alex says, changing the subject, she’d let Maggie win that round but she wouldn’t win the next one. “I have to warn you though, if you’re about to say something bad against her, I wouldn’t.” Alex may like Maggie a lot, hell, maybe even love, but if she said something against Kara, if the pair hadn’t got along well, then Alex doesn’t even know what she would do.
“No, no, I love little Danvers,” Maggie says dismissively and Alex chuckles at the nickname that Maggie has bestowed upon her little sister. “No, I mean, I just can’t get a read on her…” Maggie says thoughtfully and Alex knits her eyebrows together in confusion.
“She’s clearly flirting with Lena, well, she’s being flirted with,” Alex turns to look at them again to see Kara fiddling nervously with her glasses while Lena just smiles and eyes her little sister. The agent narrows her eyes suspiciously at them, they were getting awfully close these past few weeks after Kara had saved Lena from a kryptonite explosion. “but your sister clearly likes her.” Alex tunes back into Maggie’s voice and turns away from the gathering for a moment.
“But then she’s also had relationships with guys right? Like James… and that Adam dude you told me about,” Alex almost laughs at the concentration on Maggie’s face and raises one eyebrow and smiles in amusement; it was like she was trying to figure out some extreme math equation and not Alex’s little sister’s love life. “and I get the sense that she’s not straight, she clearly has something going on with James, and obviously Lena, I mean, that one is really obvious-"
"Are you trying to figure out if my sister is straight or gay?” Alex interrupts Maggie’s thoughts and the detective presses her lips into a thin line and places her hands on her hips in exasperation.
“No case left unsolved,” The detective states and Alex laughs at her girlfriend and Maggie rolls her eyes. Alex holds her stomach a little from all of her laughter, taking a deep breath to help replenish her oxygen supply, even her eyes were watering. “Fine, is she bi?” Maggie asks outwardly and Alex manages to gather herself, and takes a deep breath to compose herself, before responding.
“Kind of,” Alex answers and Maggie turns her head to the side and a crease forms on her brow in confusion. “she came to Earth when she twelve."
"So…?” Maggie asks, still not getting it, she shakes her head and Alex takes a step closer.
“So, Krypton wasn’t like Earth, it didn’t have gay, straight, bi, it was just, you meet someone you like, you mate them,” Alex explains with a shrug. “I mean, I’m sure some kryptonians did have preferences for some genders but, they were efficient guys up there, reproduction was done in like tubes, actually, Kal is the only naturally conceived kryptonian in centuries, but, on Krypton, they were just encouraged to marry whoever they fell in love with, and Kara grew up with that incentive.” Alex says and Maggie listens intently, clearly very invested in the details - and she calls Alex a nerd. “Plus they were restricted to one baby per family and Kara’s DNA is really complicated, who knows if same sex couples could have biological babies, the Kryptonians were a really advanced species, plus, hello, aliens.” Maggie laughs at that and Alex smiles in response.
“To answer your question, Kara’s kryptonian, she’ll choose her mate based on compatibility, on what she likes about them, not on gender, so I guess she’s pansexual, if you want to earthly brand her."
"What did the Kryptonians class as being compatible?” Maggie asks curiously and Alex shrugs, they don’t know an awful lot about the kryptonians, only what Kara can remember, what Kal had learned from the fortress and the other pieces of information gathered from their pods.
“Who knows? Probably intelligence, to them we’re like cave men who could only dream about being on their level.” Maggie smiles and leans in close to Alex, wrapping her arms around her waist and Alex smiles gazing down at her girlfriend. “But, you know, Kara also grew up with Earth’s social construct and, compared to Krypton, it’s pretty fucked up. So people automatically assume she’s straight, and I guess when I came out to her I reminded her of Krypton, about how being straight isn’t the only option."
"Enter Lena right?” Maggie asks with amusement, because Alex is oblivious but she’s not that oblivious, and Alex laughs leaning her head forward to press it against Maggie’s.
“Enter Lena Luthor.” She confirms - she did have the intelligence.
They stand in silence for a moment, just enjoying one another’s company, Maggie can feel Alex’s thumbs gently stroking at the back of her neck and she’s more than willing, more than content, just to stand there and not move… but she has to ask something else, because she’s already opened the Krypton can of worms, she might as well go all the way.
“So Mike,” Maggie says and Alex’s eyes flutter open, momentarily distracting Maggie, and she pauses when she feels Alex’s thumbs stop stroking and she almost whines for her to continue. “He’s from decks- dacks- Daxam?” Maggie’s face scrunches up adorably and Alex grins at her fumble with the planet’s name.
“Yeah,” Alex responds. “same social construct as Krypton, except, maybe a little looser on its morals, party central according to Kara."
"So that’s why James calls Mon-El frat boy.” Maggie chuckles and Alex nods. She’d noticed that James and Maggie had been getting along quite well recently and she loved that her friends seemed to love Maggie, a lot, because they were her family and they were all important to her.
“Yep, but it was colonized by Krypton way back when, before they left the planet to itself, but, you know, the whole be with who you want to be with thing was still pretty strong, hell, according to Mon-El they even had polyamorous relationships.” Alex explains and Maggie nods her head in understanding.
“So you totally pick up on the whole Winn and Mon-El thing too right?” Maggie asks and Alex laughs out loud this time, nodding her head repeatedly, because of course she picked up on that - Winn was the least subtle person she knew, he was even worse than Kara. “I’d like to hear more about Krypton, it sounds fascinating.” Maggie admits and Alex smiles softly.
“I’m sure Kara would tell you some stories,” Alex says. “she likes to keep the memory of Krypton alive in her head, so she doesn’t forget it, she’d be more than happy to talk to you about it.” Alex says and Maggie nods her head, she might just have to ask the blonde about the planet.
“Oh snap!” Alex’s head peers over Maggie as she hears Winn’s excited yell.
“Alex! Lena just beat your score!” Kara shouts and Alex narrows her eyes.
“Oh hell no.” Alex mutters and Maggie chuckles, placing a kiss to Alex’s cheek, she turns her around and past her butt towards the living room where the game of scrabble was commencing.
“You’re going down Luthor!” Alex says and Maggie shakes her head at how competitive Alex was especially when it came to scrabble.
“That’s not the first time I’ve heard that before.” Lena says with a smirk and Maggie’s eyes widen while Kara, who was beside her, starts blushing to a blood red, almost like she might explode.
This was supposed to be short and funny. It turned out to be long and full of feelings. Aka, I’m the most predictable. Whatever - enjoy!
“So, Danvers. What are the big 4th of July plans?”
Alex looks over at her, startled. It’s June 30th, and Maggie’s making breakfast while Alex washes the dishes from last night’s dinner.
“Uh,” Alex knits her eyebrows, running her mind as quickly as possible over the last couple of weeks, trying to remember if they’d talked about making plans. She comes up blank, so she tries to stall for time. “Don’t you have to work?”
“Nope,” Maggie says, and her voice is casual but there’s something behind it. “Took some wrangling, but I managed to get it off.”
Oh, okay. Okay, shit.
Alex can’t figure out if they’d talked about it and she completely forgot, or if this some new curveball.
But Maggie’s number one pet peeve is not being heard, and most cops have to work on the 4th because the holiday turns everyone in the US into delinquent assholes, so if she managed to get the day off she must have some serious expectations for something.
If Alex were Kara, she thinks, she’d make up some elaborate story, some oh yes we’re going to ride a ferris wheel and also be in Paris—oh, but like the Paris in Las Vegas because of America, haha, totally, definitely, I for sure already bought the tickets, surprise!
But Alex is Alex, so instead of hijinks she goes for insecure honesty. “Uh, I, uh haven’t made any plans? Yet? But I’d be happy to make some? With you?” Her hands stutter on the dishes, making jerkily little circles on the same plate she’s been washing since Maggie first opened her mouth.
Maggie doesn’t look over from where she’s expertly flipping an omelet. “Oh,” is all she says.
“Mags?” Maggie looks over, probably at the sheer panic in Alex’s voice. “Babe, I’m sorry, I didn’t—I didn’t know you wanted to do anything! But really, I—I can get the day off, I can—we can, um, I mean, I can plan something, or you can plan something, or we can go somewhere—”
But Alex doesn’t hear her, continuing to babble at high speed. “I can—there must be a hotel that still has space, or a beach? Or, um, I don’t—I’m sorry, I don’t know, but I can—we can do anything, I didn’t mean to forget—“
Alex hears her, finally, and quiets herself. She looks over at Maggie with eyes that are big and round and scared and a little wet.
“Babe, it’s fine. Relax.”
Alex blinks at her. This is clearly not fine. This is the opposite of fine. Alex is the worst girlfriend ever. This obviously matters to Maggie and she must have mentioned it, and Alex must have forgotten, and she’s trying to hard to be a good girlfriend, to be good at being in a relationship, but she fucked it up again, and it’s not fine.
“It’s not a big deal, Al. I just assumed that you all did something for it.”
Alex narrows her eyes, confused. “You all?”
“You know,” Maggie says with a little shrug as she slips the omelet out of the pan and onto the waiting plate. “You and Kara and your mom and Kara’s boy band of admirers.” Maggie starts making the second omelet, tossing the pre-cut vegetables into the pan. “I had just assumed – it was stupid, I guess – but you guys seem like an all-American family, I just thought you would have some barbeque traditions or something.”
Alex nods. That makes sense. It does – but it doesn’t totally account for the heaviness in Maggie’s voice, or the way she hasn’t made eye contact, or the way she’s hitting the eggs against the pan a little harder than she needs to.
“My parents were never really that into it,” Alex says softly, turning back to the dishes, pretending to be as casual as Maggie is. “They were a little far to the left for that kind of patriotism, I think. When I was little we used to go sit out on the beach and watch the fireworks, but we never did anything special.” Alex puts the now very clean plate in the drying rack and reaches for a mug. “But then when Kara came, the fireworks scared her – they were so loud and bright and really overwhelming for her. So she and I usually just marathoned movies and I always tried to get her into a sugar coma as early in the night as possible so she’d miss most of it.”
Alex sees Maggie nod out of the corner of her eye.
“Yeah, that makes sense,” she says, clearly still upset but clearly trying to hide it. “Poor little Kara.”
But Alex is in charge of this interrogation.
“Did you do something special when you were little?” She asks carefully. Asking about Maggie’s childhood is always delicate – Alex has learned to phrase it as when you were little rather than did your family or did your parents, but it’s still always delicate. She’s always careful.
She never wants to make Maggie remember her awful teenage years, and she hates the Sawyers even more for making it hard for her to get to know little kid Maggie.
Maggie doesn’t like to talk about herself, and Alex hates it because she wants to know every moment of Maggie’s life.
Maggie flips this omelet – perfectly, as always. “Yeah, it was a pretty big deal in Blue Springs. Not a lot else going on,” she adds wryly. “There was a parade with these ridiculously cheesy floats, and people would spend, like, months making them, it was ridiculous.” But her voice is fond. Alex never hears her talk like this, warmly and tenderly about Blue Springs and about her childhood. She almost holds her breath, still washing the same mug, afraid to make a sound. “We’d go stake out spots on the parade route like hours early, with coolers and chairs and shit, it was a whole thing. And then after the parade we always hosted this big barbeque in our front yard, and everyone came, basically every Mexican in Nebraska, I think. All the cousins and everyone, it was a total zoo. And then we’d all drive out to the prairie, which is like 10 minutes away, of course, because Blue Springs is nothing, and we’d lie in the beds of the pickups in just like, piles of cousins, and watch the big county fireworks.” Maggie’s smiling at the memory, still looking down at the omelet, and Alex wants to cry. “I drank my first beer in one of those pickups with my cousins, smoked my first joint. We’d set off fireworks, and the kids would have sparklers, and shit.”
She slips the omelet out of the pan and onto the plate. She turns off the stove, takes the first plate, and sticks it in the microwave, closing the door without starting it.
“I’m gonna take a shower before I eat,” she says casually. “Will you be gone when I get out?”
Alex knows that’s code. Maggie doesn’t shower as quickly as she does, but that’s clearly code for I’m going to take a long shower, please don’t be here when I’m done. Alex wonders if she’s going to cry in there.
Alex nods her head a little, hands still soapy. She wants to reach out, to hold Maggie, to tell her that she loves her, that she’s here now, that she’s here to help Maggie heal.
But Maggie’s already walking away, closing the door of the bathroom firmly behind her.
Alex leaves the rest of the dishes. She puts her omelet in a Tupperware and gets dressed as quickly as she can. She’ll brush her teeth at work.
So I was reading through Rylex HCs and listening to music when Done With Love by Zedd came on and I just felt the… NEED to write some angst. Now, it’s not super great but I tried and plus, the world needs more Rylex.
Disclaimer: This is all speculation and such. No spoilers to be had
Alex was a hurricane; overwhelming and powerful, he dove head first into everything he did, often leaving things more chaotic than before he arrived. And when the storm ended, the survivors were left to try and pick up the pieces, never quite sure of everything that just happened.
Ryland had been affected by that whirlwind for the first time many years ago when Alex’s’ drunk gaze had focused on him for the first time. He hadn’t wanted to humor the guy. Stumbling over his own feet and giggling at everything his eyes landed on, Alex had been a bit too enthusiastic with getting Ryland to talk to him. The only reason he eventually caved was when Alex draped himself over his chest, grinning wide and toothy. He’d reached up and tapped his nose, giggling again. Ryland had just started, the sudden adorableness of this grown man grabbing him in a choke hold. He didn’t want to let him go.
Of course, Alex had chosen to commemorate this moment by losing his lunch on Ryland’s chest. He’d instantly apologized, trying to clean Ryland up with several napkins but only succeeding in pushing the shit around and getting some on himself. Ryland had managed to corral him into the men’s room, discarding his outer shirt in the trash before scrubbing both their hands clean.
During, Alex had been obnoxiously clingy. He’d seemed determined to keep at least one body part on Ryland at all times. Most of the time, in appropriate places. He tried his best not to react the other times.
Trying to get Alex to leave the bathroom, however, had been a struggle all its own. In the few seconds between Ryland offering to take him home and him turning his back to open the door, Alex had ended up in a heap on the floor and for all intensive purposes, unmovable. It took Ryland another fifteen minutes to get a reason out of him. But then he’d revealed he was sleeping in his car and just ‘couldn’t he sleep here? It was so much nicer.’ And Ryland, unable to stop himself, offered to let him crash at his place. Just until he was sober again, of course.
And yet, as one night blended into the morning, and one day into three, Ryland found he enjoyed Alex’s company quite a bit. Caught in the storm, Ryland and Alex took up knitting, movie production, and table tennis. They ran a marathon and ate five hot dogs before fighting over who threw up in the toilet first. The hurricane only raged on for Ryland, stronger as time went on. He wanted to be next to Alex at all times. Watch him grin as he completed his first competitive scrapbooking tournament. Feel him giggle as they practiced wrestling and Ryland accidentally found out he was ticklish. He wanted all these things and so, so much more.
He knew all he had to do was ask, so he’d planned out his words. Meticulously, he jotted them down. Draft after draft of what he wanted to say committed to his brain.
When Alex had come home that day, he’d been ready. The words, however, died on his tongue when he saw Alex’s face. One thing he’d learned over the years was, while others got caught up in the hurricane that was his best friend, no one was torn apart by it quicker than Alex himself. And as he shuffled in the door, head down and arms weak, Ryland immediately went to his side, words be damned.
He held out his arms hesitantly, but Alex practically melted into them. Wrapping his arms around him, Ryland asked what happened this time. He fully expected it to be yet another fail venture into whatever new thing he had set his sights on. Not something that would shatter his plans, and his world, as he knew it.
“I’m done,” Alex had mumbled, words muffled by Ryland’s shirt. Ryland had chuckled, patting Alex’s back.
“What was that, bud?” He asked. “You’ve got too much shirt in your mouth.”
“I said, I’m done,” Alex said, pulling back slightly to meet Ryland’s eye. “It’s not worth the heartbreak. It never is.”
“I’m- What?” Ryland asked, a bit confused.
“With dating. Love.” Alex spoke the word as if it were dripping with slime. Gross and untouchable. Ryland froze, staring uncomprehendingly at Alex, who just shrugged. “Who needs that, anyway. I have you.” He smiled, nudging Ryland’s chest with his hand.
“You… have me?” Ryland tried, desperately trying to rationalize this into something much less gut wrenching.
“Yeah, my… What you call it? Like, best friend for life but cooler?” He snapped his finger, gaze wandering around a bit. “Oh! Platonic life partner! That’s it.”
“Life partner?” Ryland echoed, his fingertips suddenly numb. He swallowed hard, eyes searching Alex’s for any sign that this was a joke. A sick, twisted joke that made him want to sob. But no, Alex just kept smiling at him, obviously pleased with himself. He was going to be sick. “That sounds good to me,” He forced out, mouth twitching in what he hoped was a smile.
“I know, right? The internet is a wonderful place for words. Did I show you what the word for fear of long words is? It’s so long and-”
“You know,” Ryland said, pulling back a bit and patting Alex’s shoulder. “I’m a bit tired. I think I’m gonna take a nap. That cool?” He held the sort of smile on his face, biting down hard on his cheek to keep his stomach from betraying him.
“Oh, of course.” Alex gestured at Ryland’s room. “I’ll just be using the TV for a bit, k? I need me some Gilmore Girls after the night I just had.” He knew the laugh that came after was forced, but Ryland couldn’t bring himself to care. He made a half hearted gesture at the TV.
“It’s all yours,” He said, before quickly retreating. As the door shut behind him, Ryland felt his legs give out on him. He caught himself on the way down, knuckles digging into the carpet. He stared at his hands, his chest suddenly far too empty. He wanted to scream. He’d had it. He’d been so fucking close to telling him. And for what? To find out Alex didn’t even see him that way? He was so fucking pathetic.
The first tear that hit his hand he hardly noticed. He was too busy searching for something, anything he could throw. His eyes landed on a small book. He lunged for it, sweeping it up and launching it his bed. He had meant to aim for the mattress. Muffle the sound a bit. Instead, the hard cover struck the metal frame and a loud clang rang out. Ryland whipped around, fully expecting to hear Alex’s footsteps approaching. Seconds went by, Ryland teetering on his knees. Nothing.
He dropped back to the ground, this time not bothering to catch himself. He curled his knees close to his chest as the tears began to fall in earnest. How could he be so stupid? He dug his fingers into the flesh of his leg, eyes closing as he attempted to stifle the need to sob. He let out a small hiccup and dug his fingers in tighter. Don’t. Don’t.
He broke; The love he’d never had before spilled out in muffled sobs and a shaking chest. He squeezed his eyes closed tighter, shoving his hand in his mouth to force himself quiet. But he couldn’t stop the pain in his chest, knowing he’d never get to be Alex’s everything. Someone else would fill that role eventually when the storm picked up again. And Ryland was just left with the pieces, picking back up the wreckage of his life.
It was another half an hour before he finally began to calm. He could feel a headache budding behind his eyes and groaned, furiously wiping at his tear stained cheeks. He slowly let his legs go, wincing as he stretched them out. He glanced down, surprised to see small spots of blood. He’d have to hide that, for sure.
Ryland lay back, eyes staring blankly at the ceiling. Well, that was that he supposed. He let his heart go soft and Alex bashed it to pieces with a fucking hammer. Figures.
It was a stupid idea anyway. Telling Alex how he felt would have been worse. Alex probably would have laughed in his face. It was better this way. Now, he could get over him.
Ryland didn’t stop to think if he wanted to get over him. At the moment, it felt like his duty. Alex needed his ‘platonic life partner,’ not a love sick idiot.
Ryland forced himself to his feet, wincing again at the pangs in his legs. He would be the best fucking partner he could be to Alex. And if that meant letting go of his feelings, he would shove them so far back, they’d be stuck in fucking Narnia. He was not going to lose their friendship too.
Aaaand, as is my way, nothing really happens, there’s very little plot, but everyone hangs out and has a cuddly, fluffy Christmas. (Sorry, I’ve started to just embrace it at this point. Lol.)
It’s also very, very long. I really tried (and really failed) to make it shorter, and at some point just gave up and kept going until there was an end.
Happy reading! :) Feat. Sanvers and Supercorp and sisters and Christmas still a lot of kids, y’all.
They had a lot of traditions in the Super Family, and the last few months of the year were a whirlwind of chaos and celebration.
Halloween is J’onn and M’gann’s.
Without fail, every one of his Earth kids (and now grandkids) has fallen prey to one of his pranks—and by now they know it’s coming, but he still manages to pull it off. And every one of them loves the one day a year when everyone else at the DEO gets a glimpse of the Space Dad side of J’onn—even if they’re sure to never mention it ever again.
Thanksgiving is Kara’s.
Because all Kara ever wanted was a family, and that’s what their Thanksgiving is all about. It’s endless amounts of food, and chocolate pecan pie, and Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade balloons, and after-dinner snuggles, and the whole family together under one roof for the whole day.
Hanukkah is Alex’s.
Those traditions run deep in her veins, and go back to a time before Kara. A quieter, simpler time with just her and Eliza and Jeremiah. Of course, it’s since included her sister—and then her wife, and their friends, and now her sister-in-law, and all their combined children—and she couldn’t be happier about it.
New Year’s Eve is Lena’s.
No one throws a gala quite like she does. She relishes having this one night a year when the adults can be adults, and they all get dressed to the nines and dance and drink and flirt a little more than they would in front of the tiny eyeballs that demand all their attention. It also helps that she knows, every single year, her wife makes it her mission to find an outfit that makes her jaw drop and her heart skip a beat—although Kara would tell you the exact same story.
Christmas is Maggie’s.
She had shed a lot of the religious aspects of the holiday (though the religious upbringing occasionally showed itself—and sometimes she liked it, and sometimes she didn’t), but the magic…the magic of Christmas had stayed with her even after all these years. There were some traditions you couldn’t shake, and despite the few years where she’d hated the holiday, most of her memories of it were full of family and snowmen and baking and cheesy movies—and that was what she wanted to give her kids, and her whole family.
On Christmas Eve, Kara, Lena, and their twin three-year-olds, Audrey and Maddie, pack up to spend the night and all of Christmas Day at Alex and Maggie’s house.
As soon as they open the front door, their blonde-haired, green-eyed little girls take off at a sprint to seek out their cousins. Audrey finds Gertie first—reading a book in the living room—and climbs right onto the eight-year-old’s lap. Gertie’s big brown eyes go wide, and her long, dark curls cover her face when she hugs her little cousin tight.
Maddie takes off down the hallway, while JJ and Lainey come barreling down the stairs in the middle of a sword fight—and if you looked quick enough, you’d think it was a tiny version of Alex and Kara.
Five-year-old JJ’s short, dark hair is similar to Gertie’s, but he’s got Alex’s fair skin and he doesn’t have the dimples that both his sister’s share. Lainey is an enigma—their fiery six-year-old has blonde hair and blue eyes. And although genetically, it’s probably due to her grandmothers, Kara takes full credit whenever she can.
“Hey!” Maggie greets them from the kitchen, where she’s currently mixing up no less than 10 different colors of icing. “Alex is…” she knits her eyebrows, “Uh…I don’t actually know. She’s somewhere though,” she laughs.
“Alex is right here,” comes a voice from behind them. She wraps up her sister and then her sister-in-law in hugs before Maddie runs right into the back of her knees. She picks up her niece and tosses her in the air as she giggles, then places her on her hip, “You wanna decorate cookies, Maddie?”
“Cookie!” she screams—and that gets all the kids attention. They come barreling through the house toward Maggie in the kitchen.
“Whoa, whoa, easy kiddos.” They slow down a little, but still scramble up into chairs, already digging through a pile of cookie cutters before she even takes the cookie dough out of the fridge.
Maggie has spent the last two days baking. It started with her grandmother’s almond cake, then her mom’s thumbprint cookies—both black raspberry and apricot. Then she made stacks of vanilla pizzelles. She made Alex’s favorite chocolate peanut butter buckeyes. She made dark chocolate peppermint cookies for Winn, and white chocolate cranberry cookies for J’onn and Lena, and chocolate pecan pie cookies for Kara, and—thankfully—James’ favorite are the cookies the kids are about to bake now.
And that’s what the kids spend the next couple hours doing. It’s a few hours of cookie cutters and icing and sprinkles—and then every kid needs a bath to get the icing off of their hands, their faces, their hair.
If wind was a beast or a god as the ancients believed, there must’ve been several separate species of gales to harass different peoples because storms didn’t sound the same in the north as they had in the Caribbean. It rattled and roared, but there was no growling ocean, just the barren hiss of snow cutting the air.
Though it had been bitterly cold in the Valley Forge, the army had been blessed in that the geography of the land hadn’t brought the usual pockets of precipitation that valleys attracted. Cold and windy, the air had at least been dry- dry enough that the skin of Alexander’s hands grew cracked and bled at the knuckles. Dry until now.
It had started snowing that Sunday, thick and wet, more like sleet and rain than snow, but it continued to cover the cabins and tents, filled the brims of men’s hats, and smothered fire pits. As the temperature dropped, it turned to ice, and the wind turned what still fell from the sky from snowflakes to needles. It howled against the logs of their cabin, moaning like an injured beast or a thousand tortured spirits.
tiny things that aren’t going anywhere and i need to get them out of my written?kitten! file
“Hey. Time to wake up.” “Mmm.” “It’s six fifteen.” “But you’re so warm.” “Alexander. Up. Now.” “Don’t tell me what to do.” But he shifted and rubbed his eyes. “Is it really that late? You’re not fucking with me?” “Six-seventeen, now.” “Fuck. I’m going to be late.” He fell out of the bed with habitual grace and squinted at the floor. Pants. Shirt. Okay. “Where are my socks? I can’t find my socks. Can I borrow yours?” “Absolutely not.” “Please? I’m going to be late –” Wide eyes. “No.” “Fuck,” said Hamilton, and ran out the door in bare feet, shirt in hand.
B-minus? Unbe-fucking-lievable. Alexander slumped down in his seat and waited – not his best quality – and when class was over he took his stuff and jogged down the steps, paper in hand, and slammed the paper on the table at the front of the room. “Hey.” The TA didn’t bother to look up. Alex narrowed his eyes. He was … nondescript. Almost deliberately so. Tall-ish, closely trimmed hair, button down and khakis – the most individual thing about him was the rather nice pen he tucked into the leather messenger bag. Alex shifted his weight. “Um. Hello?” “I heard you the first time.” Dark brown eyes; a disarming coolness in them. “What is it?” “It’s about my paper.” Holding it out: “You gave me a B.” “Barely.” “I deserve better. I deserve an A.” “You deserve,” said Burr, “even worse than the grade I gave you. I was feeling generous last night …”
"You knit?” Burr ignored this incredulity. “You knit,” Alex said, in a different voice. “I like having something to do with my hands.” “You’re not a fidgety sort of person.” Burr ignored this, too; he was counting. “What are you making?” “Socks.” “Are they for me?” “They are not.” “My feet get cold, Burr.” “Still not for you, Hamilton.”
Alex isn’t a forest; he isn’t an open field. He’s a marsh, with rotten spots that catch at Burr’s feet, and if he misses a step he might be dragged down. So Burr turns away. Then there is a time when Alex takes him harsh and rough, and Burr shuts his eyes – he always does, he likes to feel he is in the dark, to think they’re both there together, no matter the sunlight that falls in streaks across the forest floor, no matter the heat of the day on his skin –
The war was a convenient excuse for Burr to miss the wedding, and with one thing and another he managed to avoid meeting Hamilton’s wife until two years later, when he was physically pulled into the house by a visibly-drunk Alexander: “I have a son!” he said, beaming with pride and relief, and he continued saying it until Burr agreed to see the boy. Anything to get him off the street; anything to stop this embarrassment.
Philip was small and red-faced and angry. Burr touched him with a certain reverence; the baby squalled and Burr drew back. “I think I’ve hurt him.” He heard a woman calling out and looked up in time to see a dark head, a tired face – she drew the baby against her chest and turned away. So that was Eliza.
Of course when he set up a practice, Hamilton worked next door; of course Hamilton came over late at night to argue through cases, and eventually Burr got used to feeling a headache between his eyebrows.
my babies. so small, so delicate, so argumentative.
Matt takes the big sleeve of Alex’s stripped
hoodie and tugs it for him to follow. The way between high heels and dirty
converses is complicated; you aren’t completely aware yet, and you are already
stepping on someone, and you have the tall blonde spitting soda between
complains about how you fucking lanky kid stepped on her foot.
“Why? What for?” Alex is bumping against
shoulders and tripping over some unknown feet, he is careful not to drop his
coke cup, though. It would be such a tragedy…
“Do you remember that tall lad from the other
high? The one near the hills?” Matt nearly shouts into Alex’s right ear, then
he rises his head from the crowd, chasing.
“The one with the ugly uniform?” Alex mutters,
knitting his brows. His voice is husky from shouting and drinking too much iced
coke. Mostly iced coke.
“Yeah!” laughs Matt whilst making an empty
space for them to walk through. “He is here”
Alex knits his brows once again, confused as he
does not know how that even concerns him. He uses a little pause from their
little and agitated trip to give a big gulp from his now third red cup of iced
coke and looks around; it smells like pig, the music is loud, there are couples
nearly having sex and some other dudes doing weird stuff with chips and soda.
It was a fucking school dance, no one was allowed to drink alcohol yet.
They stop walking when Matt approaches a girl
with pixie cut and pretty much a pixie face. Button nose, big eyes and all.
“I’ve got him a companion” Matt takes Alex’s
wrist, bringing him closer to the girl and him and he does nothing but trigger
Alex’s nerves. “So he will not be left alone”
Something on Alex’s head clicks, forcing a
gasp, a deadly look and a rather strong nudge directed to Matts right side.
Matt bursts out into cynic laughter and stands next to the girl. “Ah, Alex, is
just for tonight! You will get along with him very quickly!”
Alex sends a quick glance over the tall, skinny
boy, and he feels him doing the same. Matt puts his hands on the girl’s
shoulders, she turns to her friend smiling widely “Ah, Mi, you’ll get along
with him! He looks nice and oh! I forgot!” she gives Alex her hand for him to
shake it and he does so, all confused “I’m Breana, Matt’s… friend”
Matt mouths a “not for long” and winks, making
the other boy roll his eyes. She continues “It’s just tonight, yeah?”
The loud music gets even louder when the three
of them look towards the silent guy waiting for an answer. He rolls his eyes,
fixes his long fringe and sips from his own cup. Then, in a very smooth voice,
“He looks like a prick”
There is a gap of silence and then a laugh from
Matt. Alex’s cheeks turn red and he gets over the anxiety and nervousness he
has to answer to the insult with a high pitched “I heard you!”
Very smart, but not smart enough.
The skinny guy gives him the back and looks
over his shoulder, in a presumptuous gesture and flashes a grin at him. “That
was my plan”
“He is nice” Matt adds, sweat running from his
forehead; It is getting really hot there “It is just how his face falls” Alex
prefers not to speak anymore so he just kind of… scatters himself in one of the nearest seats and folds his arms in
front of his chest.
“Awh, just look at him! Please, Miles!” Breana
pleads, making her best puppy face along with Matt “We just want to dance, you
know how many times we get to see each other? Like j-!”
“FINE. FINE, get going, damn it! I´ll take care
of the deer” Miles states, making both Matt and Breana laugh and hurriedly run
to the dancefloor.
Alex observes him slightly annoyed and a bit
amused. He eyes him with up and down, careful not to be caught doing so, but he
fails, because the next thing in his vision is a pair of very long and thin
legs approaching him and hears a very smooth voice saying “What are you staring
at, kid?” to which he, in a very smart display of cockiness, replays “Nothing,
you have nothing interesting”
Miles sits next to him, and Alex feels proud of
himself for being so sassy, oh god, it was painful to see.
“Name’s Miles, by the way, looks like I have to
be your babysitter for the night” Miles speaks loudly due to the lack of
silence of the big room and Alex rolls his eyes as he drinks coke. The song
ends and now there is a loud bass line and some guitars. Alex bounces both of
his legs and bites his nails.
“I’m fifteen, not five” he says.
“…What do you mean you are older than me?”
Alex chuckles “So who’s gonna babysit who?”
Miles opens his mouth to complain but Alex is
faster than him and closes his eyes as he screams the lyrics of the song that
is now playing. He jumps from the seat and runs towards the crowd, suddenly not
giving a shit about anything and just swaying his hips whilst being swallowed
by the jumping and yelling group of over excited teenagers.
Miles just stares at him, not in a way you’d
look at something weird or upsetting. He knits his brows, eyeing everything
with eyes half lidded, and sighs as he takes a sip of the coke Alex left behind
to go dance like a monkey with the people. He can’t really blame the kid for
being so jumpy all of a sudden if the song is actually that catchy…
cold, you are so cold, you are so cold, you are so cooooold!” They all
sing, not even a single person is not having a good time screaming to the top
of their lungs. The riff of the song comes up and Alex does a flip-thing that
makes him look directly towards Miles, his face turning red and blue and pink
and yellow as the flashing lights hit him.
When Alex smiles and waves at him then makes a
gesture for him to go with them…
…Something clicks on Miles’ head. Something
explodes there, and here, and he smirks unconsciously. Miles has to make a
decision here: throwing all his cool and see what could happen, or just bury
himself further on the seat.
“Ah fuck it”
And that’s how it all starts.
Miles bedroom is always warm no matter what.
And when it’s all cloudy and cold outside, even more.
Alex is asleep face upward and stretched on the
bed whilst Miles is on the computer. It has been cloudy almost all afternoon
but not even a raindrop has fallen. That’s kind of rude, to be honest. However
they don’t care about going outside too much; it is exam season and the tiny
part of free time they have is expended sleeping.
Miles never complains, though.
When Alex breathes, the bed creaks slightly and
the sound results oddly relaxing to Miles. It’s good, he supposes, the thin
light of the lamp, the snores, the creak… and it could have kept like that if it
weren’t for a sudden tingle, some meows and a chocked groan followed by a
Miles turns to see Alex with wide eyes, sitting
and with a kitty on his lap.
“Did Bell woke you up?” Miles says grinning,
enjoying the sight of Alex all red and surprised.
“Yeah she did, the little rascal”
Miles chuckles “Why did you coughed though?”
Alex’s sleepy gaze locks up with Miles’ and he
smiles “She tripped over my fuckin’ chest and I…” he gestures to illustrate
himself “I kind of inhaled her fur? I don’t know…” he smiles at the kitty,
making silly faces and lying on the bed again.
Miles laughs and goes back to work. “Bell’s a
little naughty girl, aint ya?” Alex purrs, whilst playing with the cat.
“Naughty” repeats Miles “it sounds weird when
you say it”
They both are in silence now, focused on
homework and the cat, respectively.
Minutes after, Alex laughs and mutters “She
licked her paw and then he patted my nose”
“So?” Miles doesn’t even look at him, immersed
on the little screen trying to beat that boss ass.
“Dunno…” Alex answers “can we go outside?”
“If you want”
They both walk the stairs and go out the house,
Alex with Bell on his shoulder, and when they aren’t even completely on the
sidewalk, the first raindrop falls on the tip of Alex’s nose, making Bell jump
and run inside again.
“What does this mean?” he asks Miles,
surprised, and the other lad just shrugs
“Bell blessed you” and they look at each other
And they spend the afternoon looking the rain
falling from the porch of Miles’ house.
“ALEX! ALEX! ALEX! ALEX WHERE ARE YOU?!”
“MILES MATT AND…”
“MATT AND JONES FOUGHT I KNOW DID YOU SEE WHO
“NO MATE BUT I BET MY ASS MATT WON”
“Are you fuckin mad? Jones won!”
They both sit on the bench of the park in front
of Alex’s high, Miles pulls out his cellphone and looks for the complete video
of the fight.
“Okay let’s see. If Jones won, you have to dye
your hair green for a week, if Matt won, I have to do it”
Miles nods “Pink will be”
They shake hands and Miles presses play.
Minutes after, Alex has to go with him looking
for a Manic Panic green dye.
Miles and Alex are on another party; this time
a more intimate and indie party. It is
inside someone’s house near Miles’ school, and they are there because Breana
invited them. Nobody cares about their age, there is booze to give and take and
loud speakers everywhere playing some Justice Moment hit.
Alex’s hair had grew over his ears and Miles
has an earring and they are nearly lying completely on the red sofa of the
living room, surrounded by people they don’t even know but they don’t care about
it, just Miles, Alex, Nick and Matt. Breanna with her friends and Jamie
slipping between the legs of some pretty bird he just found.
“Wanna hear a joke?” Alex is clearly fucking
wasted, even though he hardly drank two cans of shitty beer.
“Okay this one goes…” he burps and straightens
himself “okay what’s the di… what’s the difference between a blonde and a
mosquito?” he swallows his beer and throws the can.
“… I don’t know” Miles feels dizzy and just buries
himself further on the settee; When he gets drunk he is the kind of drunk that
gets annoyed and silent and just want to go home or flip shit up. Maybe both.
“One stops sucking when you slap it!”
“Oh my god” That’s the only thing Miles can say
in an angry tone before a short and very fucking mad blonde destroys the shit out of Alex’s face in a catastrophic
slap that makes everyone around turn to see what happened.
“What the Fuck?!”
Miles sits next to Matt on the cafeteria’s
table at lunch time. Nick and Alex sit across them and Jamie is still serving
“Mum did” that’s the only thing Miles can say
about the situation.
“You asked your mum to move schools for what reason?” Nick laughs.
“I didn’t ask her to do it! It was Miss
Turner’s fault! She told my mum about this school and she made me move!”
Alex remains silent the whole conversation,
concentrated on his cheesecake and avoiding any contact with Miles.
But Miles do notice, he notices the permanent
little grin on his face.
Matt heads up to Alex and Miles whom are
sitting on a bench cross legged and facing each other. Between them, there is
big bag of gum, candies and chewing gum and other sweets they sure as hell
stole the night before, on Halloween.
“Aren’t you guys a little old for candies?”
Mutters Matt, smirking.
Alex giggles as he rests his head on his palm,
elbow on his knee “there is no age for candies, mate”
“Candies are forever” Alex exclaims on a happy
“Candies are forever!” Yells Miles, in
response, rising his fist and giggling.
Matt looks at Miles, then at the bag and at
Alex “okay what the fuck are you guys on?” he digs his hand on the bag, taking
a fistful of sweets “Are these drugs?”
Miles makes a gesture, inviting Matt to give a
taste to one of them, so he does.
Alex smirks “I don’t think you get the idea of
what a candy is”
Miles uncrosses his legs and sits straight,
facing forward. “What are candies for then?”
“Not for stealing them” Miles snarls, a little
pissed ad the childish and kind of weird attitude of the two boys.
“That’s what the old lady said!”
There’s is an obnoxious laugh from Alex and
matt decides to just leave the pair of losers alone, not before grabbing the
bunch of candies: whatever they were taking, he wants some.
Fist, punch, kick and run. Fist, kick, moan and
Alex’s jaw hangs open after noticing his blood
scattering on the floor and running from his nose and into his mouth. He says
nothing and starts running toward Miles who struggles with himself; he can’t
find balance over his own feet.
And there they are, fighting. Fucking fighting.
And the best fucking part is that… they don’t
even remember why it started, but it’s too late to stop and think about. They
are too busy trying to make each other ear their fists.
They roll on the grass, and Miles scratches his
hip on the process, nearly screaming for the pain and despair and anger and
Alex sits on top of him when they stop, abruptly hitting him with all the
strength he has.
“FUCK OFF!!” yells Miles, followed by a string
of muttered curses and a groan of pure anger. He pulls the, now very long, hair
of his friend and manages to escape from behind him, now he is on top, still pulling and tugging
at his hair.
Alex doesn’t even try to mutter a single word.
Instead he focuses on trying to stop him from ripping off his hair from the
scalp. The brunette digs his nails on the pale wrist over his head, breathing
heavily and feeling himself sweat. It is ridiculous, Alex thinks, how stupidly
impulsive Miles is when drunk and angry. Miles pulls harder making Alex hiss
and try to scape but he knows that any sudden movement would be catastrophic
for him or his hair’s integrity.
“She owe you nothin’…” He mutters, with gritted
teeth and eyes closed shut, nails still hurting the pale wrist. He continues,
all out of breath, feeling the anger burning his chest “Let me go, mate, you
are not being yourself”
And, oh man, how right he is. And Miles slaps him to shut him up.
“Shut THE FUCK UP” Miles spits, but this time
Alex reacts quickly and with a rock solid fist, he hits him square in the jaw. Miles
stumps with his own feet and falls to the ground, that’s the exact moment in
which the ugly and blurry memory of exactly what
happened before, in that shitty party they went together. It was ridiculous,
really. Just the thought of it makes Alex’s blood boil.
Long story short, there was this one bird Miles
have been eyeing since a long time, from school. She was at the party, and obviously,
drunk beyond repair. She did her moves, making everything so puzzled for Miles,
everything being hints, subtle smiles, constant babbling and toothy grins…
But she did not meant to do that. She was wasted. And the moment of the revelation
came, when Miles tried to get physical contact in one of the dark corners of
the place, but oh man, bad news.
She refused, and he tried to get her to do it.
A friend of hers ran towards him and Alex had to put himself in danger to get
his ass out, safe and sound. But we’ve said it already, Miles is a strange kind
However, Miles started yelling, yelling leads
to arguing, ad arguing to fighting.
And okay, you could easily deduce the rest of
Alex feels the jolts of the rage beginning to
burn on his cheeks. Miles is fucking scattered
on the grass of the park, completely destroyed and lying face down. His shirt
is dirty and full of stains of something that neither of them identifies, but
the shorter one doesn’t give less of a shit about everything. He is just so mad
at Miles, dear God! Everything is just exploding inside of him, everything is
burning, his sweat is sticking to his skin and it feels so uncomfortable.
Alex then, screams.
“NO YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP!” his little face is
all red, and full of dirt “Do y’know what you were doin’?! DO YOU KNOW WHAT
WOULD HAD ‘APPENED IF IT WASN’T FOR THAT LAD AND ME?! LUCY WAS PISSED AS FUCK
AND YOU WEREN’T AS MUCH AS SHE WAS AND YOU FUCKIN’ KNEW IT! DIDN’T YA, MILES?!
WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM! BLOODY ‘ELL!”
Alex yells again then, desperate, and nothing
in particular. He grabs his hair, walking in circles now that he’s standing. He
ponders the option of hitting Miles once again, but what good would that make?
Finally, Alex just opts for sitting on the
grass and recover his breath.
However, he loses it again at the sound of
“Are you kidding…?” Mutters Alex, eyes wide
open, legs slowly bending. He looks like a scared deer.
He isn’t ready for this. Sure, Miles and he had
fought before but never as rough and as angry as this one encounter was, and
they were never alone. There was always Matt, and Jamie to act as mediators and
prevent them from killing each other but it wasn’t a big deal; they always reconciled
after a word of two. But something in the air is just… wrong.
Another sob and then there is despair and
“I’m so sorry”
“I’m sorry, Alex”
The way Miles reincorporates from lying face
down on the grass to a sitting position facing Alex is nearly creepy, but no
one can really blame him; drunk and hurt is no joke. The older lad cannot see
his face, though, because Miles manages to hide it through a thick curtain of
Alex tries to voice some kind of answer but he
chokes on his own ideas, as usual. Miles rises his hand up to his chin as
scratches it, before moving it up to his forehead and finally revealing his
red, bloody face. Alex nearly has a heart attack.
“Oh, Miles…” Alex murmurs “D-don’t be…”
Miles crosses his legs and rubs his hands
against his face, resting the elbows on his knees. Alex looks at him,
expectant, he digs his fingers on the dirt to prevent himself from biting his
dirty nails, feeling a hole starting to slowly consume his insides.
The wind rises a few dried leaves and the dark
night gets colder when Miles decides is time to finally articulate some words.
Alex wishes he did not.
With a lot of visible struggle, and a very
husky voice, he mutters “ ‘ave you ever… like-” Alex looks at him “ ’ave you
ever felt alone even though you are surrounded by people?” and then he shuts
up, biting his lower lip and gazing down.
Ale swears his breath is abruptly sucked from
his lungs; a cold wave replacing the heat in matter of just brief moments, it
feels like his chest and abdomen are made out of paper and a hand is placed on
the very center of if, scrunching it and clenching it and it all happens so
fast… he only manages to let out a strangled “Yes…”
Miles, then, all dazed, wipes his nose with the
back of the hand and closes his eyes, head spinning. A tear runs across his
face faster than he’d think it would do. It was clearly a tear he was forcing
himself to retain for a lot of time, perhaps. Alex chokes at the sight of it.
“Stop cryin’” He mutters “Don’t…” continues
babbling, baffled, perturbed, every tiny bit of range leaving his still body
and leaving instead a path of coldness and weakness. With shaky limbs, he reaches
for Miles’ hand. His hearth, however, does a flip when he gets the sensation of
Miles’ slim fingers wrapping themselves around his own and squeezing them with
all the strength he has at the moment.
“Are you real?”
The older brunette opens his eyes wide and
lowers his head so the fringe covers his watering eyes. He feels so bad, and
blames his ridiculously hyper sensitive empathy towards every person he has a thick
bound with. However, this exact situation aches more than anything he could
think of, of anything he felt before, so, due to the lack of experience of this
sort of thing, he does not know whatthe fuck he has to fucking do.
So, for a good three seconds, he just stares at
the mess that has become of the both of them; Alex takes a dip in the gap of
silence between quiet sobs and a cricket noise on the distance. Miles looks
tiny, and Alex reminds himself ‘oh, he’s drunk’ but that only makes things
worse: it means that’s how Miles truly feels.
Alex then, all dazed, babbles “I am”
There is a particularly loud whimper from Miles
and a sob, more and more tears running down his face, falling on his swollen
lip and washing away the dirt and dried blood. Alex has an urge to grab his
hand and wipe his salty tears with his own thumbs, to make him stand and hug
him and he feels so confused because he never ever had felt before such an
urge. Alex then, experiments the familiar tickling on his cheeks as the heavy,
pulsing knot on his throat appears.
Knitting his brows, Alex lets himself cry.
“This is gettin’ ridiculous” he mutters,
covering his eyes with the right forearm and tilting his head back, facing the
night sky “Come on, you ‘ave to get a shower”
Alex might seem okay as he walks with Miles
over his shoulders, the taller one laughing his ass off about whatever the
alcohol is making him feel, but deep inside, his hearth hammers.
“You are so, so stupid, I’m never lettin’ you
drink ever again”
When laying on the roof of the apartment
building Miles lives, every problem seems far away; as if the stress from
school, previous fights, familiar issues and the constant anxiety Alex suffers
is just sucked out of their lives. So they try to go there every chance they
“You sure your mum won’t get mad at us for
sleepin’ ‘ere?” Alex inquires, folded arms resting over the edge of the roof.
The cold wind of the late afternoon hitting his face and moving his –now
“Yeah, as long as we ‘ead inside as soon as the
sun rises. Y’know, the guard does inspection every third day and tomorrow’s one
of those days”
“Ah” and they shut up for a moment before a
Miles says “Well, we have it all ready, let’s get dinner!”
When Alex turns to see him, he is lying cross
legged on a mess made out of cushions, pillows and duvets on the floor of the
roof. Over the covers and next to the soft bed thing there’s a lot of chocolate
and some candies and behind Miles stands his phone attached to a handy speaker
the size of a small shoe box. Alex sits next to him.
“Tonight’s gonna be full moon” he says casually
as he lays on his palms and takes a bit of his bar. Miles takes a minute to put
a song on his phone before answering, quite distracted “Yeah, lucky us that
I’ve garlic and that wood stick for emergencies…”
Alex lowers himself and rests his weight over
his forearms. Then he rises an eyebrow “Those are vampires, you idiot”
Miles switches his gaze from the phone to Alex
and back, taking another tiny bite of his own bar. “I don’t give a fuck”
Alex rolls his eyes at him.
Finally, seconds after, the night finally dyes
the Sky blue and the stars start shining above, and with that, the cold
intensifies. The older brunette shifts until he’s covered nose-length with the
cover and takes a minute to appreciate the sky above him and ponder his life
and what’s he doing at the moment. Alex wonders if he has homework to do, or
places to be on the next days… or if he has some chore undone back in home… he
comes to the resolution that he’s free but the cringe sensation on his chest he
just had seconds ago is not leaving. Is not leaving and he is starting to feel
annoyed. Suddenly, Alex kicks the duvet so harshly off of his body it makes
Miles jump in surprise.
“Shit, Al. You okay?” Miles looks a little
worried at him. “What is it?”
Alex takes a deep breath “Nothin’…”
Miles is having none of that “… the usual?”
Alex bites his lips and nods. Miles expression
softens as he pulls him closer and wraps an arm around his shoulders.
“Aw, man. Try not to think about… well… stuff” he laughs, patting his shoulder “
I brought your ‘ere cause you told me you feel like your head is less heavy and
that” he smiles at Alex.
“So, let’s try to enjoy the moment, shall we?”
There is something on his voice, it could be
whatever. Blame the night, or the light or that fucking song on the background.
Could be the smell of chocolate, or the smile on his face. It could be
whatever. Anything. The idea of finding whatever thing that pulled the trigger
to the sensation is quickly suppressed and promptly switched for a wave of new
thoughts all popping at the same time on Alex’s disheveled head. His eyes can’t
focus on something concrete, instead he looks at the ground, then at the side
but never at Miles, as if suddenly, Miles were a light impossible of looking
“Yeah” he mutters, and then closes his lips
again and starts sucking on them anxiously as he and Miles bot go back to a
lying position next to the other.
Alex calls, almost not recognizing himself saying those two letters because the
very moment feels less and less real by every exhalation. “What is your worst
Miles chuckles and sighs.
“I dunno, let me think”
Alex swallows and focus on the sky.
“…I think… I think mine is dancing naked or
something to do with no wearin’ any clothes” he says with a side smile, folding
his arms under his head and closing his eyes as the breeze rises. Alex silently
Miles adds “What do you think is your weirdest
Alex shifts until he is facing Miles whilst
lying on his side and he feels the air of his lungs being sucked out as he
catches the image, the context of the situation, the missing pieces and the
drumming of his insides as his face begins to burn just when he fixes his eyes
on Miles. It feels like everything is working at maximum capacity, making it
hard to breathe. It all happens in a second.
Then, suddenly, Miles turns to face him too,
and their eyes lock for a moment. Miles stops smiling and Alex feels weird.
They stare at each other for about a minute before Alex finally closes his
eyes, and in a low voice, starts babbling:
“Not sleeping on my sides”
Miles knits his brows at the answer.
Alex is more asleep than awake now, so he is
just slurring words. “Don’t like to listen to my ‘eart on my ears for nothin’
at night… You know, when y’ press your ear against something… you can hear the
beat and I don’t like listenin’ to it when I know is not good…”
Miles takes a moment to process that, then, he
mutters next to Alex’s face.
“But you are sleeping onto your sides now…?”
By the moment Miles realizes what had just
happened, Alex is completely asleep.
“Oi! Al, you little shit”Matt curses under
his breath as he almost trips and falls face first on the sand of the beach.
All thanks to Alex’s skills to steal the ball. It’s a holiday and it’s hotter
than usual, so the boys organize a trip to beach and there they are, playing
soccer on the sand. Alex then, running toward the goal, trips and falls with
his own feet, earning a point to his team and sand on his swimsuit. Matt puts
both hands on his waist and says:
“Okay now, let’s just get some rest, Jamie’s gettin’
red as a shrimp!”
They laugh and Alex approaches one of the two
cars where he has his stuff and starts looking for his phone. Once he finds it
he focuses on his sand covered legs.
“Damn it” He mutters, patting his thighs to get
rid of the sand on them. Miles approaches him.
“Found my glasses!” he says, and points at
himself with both thumbs when Alex looks at him.
“Can I call you Lennon now?” He asks,
scrunching his nose and half closing his eyes because of the sun creeping from
Miles direction. Miles snickers.
“You can call me anything you want, love”
They get silent for a moment.
Miles looks away and then at Alex again; he
looks at the reddening skin on his neck and bites his lip, already feeling the
thrilling sensation on his stomach. Miles slowly rises his hand and slaps the
sun burnt skin on Alex neck rough enough to make him yelp and almost drop his
phone, feeling the sting on the hurt place.
“OW YOU…!” but he is left open mouthed as Miles
is giggling and running away from him.
Alex drops his phone back on the car and runs
too. He yells “I’m gonna get you, you bastard!”
“As if!” Miles shouts back, gaining speed. “Race
you to the dock!”
Ales smiles at the invitation and Miles gets
lowers his pace to make Alex get with him. Once they are at the same point of
the beach, Miles draws a line in front of them with a stick and writes ‘Start’
above the line.
“Okay, the first one to get to the dock wins”
“What’s the price?” Asks Alex, a little
concerned about his breathing as he notices the distance between the start and
the old wood dock. Miles adjusts his round specs on top of his nose and makes a
funny face at Alex.
Alex takes a hint of the old Miles. The one he
knew several months ago in that shitty party. His presumptuous style and his
mod-ish clothes too tight for his own liking, his thick accent, his cat-like
mouth… When he realizes what is happening, Miles has already yelled ‘Now!’
Alex runs behind Miles with his hearth pounding
hardly against his chest. Suddenly he feels hyper aware of his own breathing
and starts running unconsciously, focusing entirely on stopping Miles from
winning so he does. He grabs onto Miles’ shorts and lowers them a little as
they run almost at the same speed and distance. Miles laughs loudly and slaps
Alex’s hand out of his body whilst he tries to make him stumble by pushing him
to the side and behind him. Miles takes none of that and plays as dirty as he
is playing, pulling Alex to make him fall ass first on the sand but however
that does not work and end up with both of them on the floor wriggling and
trying to recover to get on the dang dock before the other.
Alex screams laughing his ass off when Miles
gains speed and trips with a rock a few meters from him, and there Miles moans
quietly for the pain on his knee. Alex laughs become more and more sweet, starting
off as obnoxious, more air than actual laugh, and they end up being so childlike…
Miles does not resist the urge to go back and help Alex get up from the sand
just to hear more of that hearth melting laugh.
“Oh, I’m fine, by the way, thanks for asking” Miles
blurts out, more joking than actually being mad. The sun is melting away in the
horizon, taking a dip in the water and dying everything of golden and pinky colors.
The light of the sun reflects on them and makes Alex skin glow. He is lying on
his stomach trying to muffle his giggles and rolls over to see Miles. Alex
tries to maintain a serious face as he babbles with difficulty something about
how funny Miles’ face looked when he tripped, and the taller one just blushes
telling him to shut up. Everything seems to be alright until Miles finds Alex
staring intensely at his face, making eye contact almost instantly and for
Miles it feels like something had just pinched inside his chest and a lightning
stroke is expanding through it, as intense as it feels, and as fast as it comes
it fades away, leaving Miles cheeks burning and his legs trembling.
He snaps out of it in order to walk with Alex
to the dock at slow pace.
Miles remembers that one time he got his ear
pierced. He had to bite a pencil and then he cursed so loud the girl that
pierced him had to slap his leg and Matt and Alex laughed their asses off in
front of him, or that one time they tried skating and Alex broke his tooth…
everything was just too funny to just let those moment go away and disappear on
his mind. By the time he realizes that he and Alex are already on the verge of
“This smells like fish” Alex comments, sitting
on the edge and letting his legs hanging.
Miles takes a moment to sit and answers after “That’s
because people tend to fish ‘ere”
“Well I’ve never seen a single fish in ‘ere”
Miles rests on his elbows and lets Alex keep going “Maybe they fished them all”
he finishes, extending his hand and closing it, making it appear as if it was
some kind of trap.
“Don’t be stupid Alex!” Miles giggles “That’s impossible.
The sea’s so big science people know more about fuckin’ Mars than the sea depts.”
The face Alex makes is by far, the funniest
Miles had ever seen.
“fuckin’ ‘ell, who am I”
Miles slaps Alex on his thigh “Oh shut up! No need
to have a mental breakdown over it. Read some books, get strong, and prepare
yourself for more facts about the sea and that. Like me… I’m a manly man…
plenty of books and a can of beer a day… and that” he babbles, eventually lying
on his back whilst talking, his round specs firmly in place.
“Miles what the fuck are yo…-“He interrupts
himself mid-sentence and sighs “What re we even…-“
“Shut up, just come here. It’s getting dark”
Half an hour later, the sun is completely gone
and the moon is shining above them. Besides that, the only source of light is
the light of Miles phone over Alex’s belly.
“Miles, have you ever been like… looking in
front of the mirror and be like who’s that, that’s not me…?”
Miles look at Alex, still with his glasses on
and his gaze wanders over his perfectly lined nose and neat but yet not fully
defined jawline and thinks of the fantastic continuation they make in order to
give him such a precious facial structure. He nods.
“… Remember when we fought that one time? You ‘ad
your hair so long I could braid it” Miles murmurs after a while. Alex shuffles
“Yeah. It was horrible”
“I know. I think you broke my heart”
Miles quickly stutters “my head”
“Oh. I guess I did, yeah”
“It was very strange. I remember everything
being so confusing…” Miles rises his hands to the sky and stretches his fingers
“I had this bird and then you punched me and then I did and then I cried and
you cried and that fucking cricked just got on my nerves and suddenly
everything was just so funny to me…”
Alex listens quietly and breathes slowly as he
remembers everything very vividly.
“Thank you for being there, I guess”
Alex turns his face towards Miles.
He smiles “I really needed a prick to fight with” the both laugh.
“I think I really needed a little hippie kid to
get on my nerves sometimes…”
Miles takes the liberty to take Alex’s right
hand with both his own, both of them stop breathing.
“Remember that one time when my mum made me
move to your school? I secretly got the butterflies because your school was
always so cool and did the best events and that shit”
“Not for me, then?”
“Obviously, for you too!” Miles laughs,
squeezing his hand and smiling.
“Oh my god!” Alex blurts out “WHEN I DYED MY
“WHEN YOU DYED YOUR HAIR GREEN HOLY SHIT!”
Miles let’s out a fit of giggles and difficultly tries to continue “the face
Alexa made when she saw you was so epic! And you’re mum! And Jamie holy fuck!”
By the time, Alex is sitting again and Miles is
lying on his back laughing like an idiot, tears forming in his eyes from the
Alex feels the same sensation of everything
speeding up inside him and outside the time gets slower. Miles wriggles trying
to calm himself down and keep his cool even though is Alex the one he’s talking
with. But Alex feels disappointed when he stops laughing.
“Man… I wish this lasted forever, y’know”
“This… feeling. Emotion, whatever” Miles
answers, getting a little serious.
Alex nods “What are you talking about?”
Miles hurriedly straightens himself and takes
off his sunglasses, placing them on his head. Hi bites his lips and looks above,
then to the sides, and down to the water.
“That feeling I get when we are together… it is
hard to describe when there’s people nearby”
They fall silent for a moment before Alex talks
again “… well… you can tell me what you feel. As if I’m not ‘ere”
Miles looks at him, cautious. The shuts his
eyes and takes a minute to breathe like that.
“I feel like I’m shining. Like everybody is
looking at me. I feel like… I’m hanging with the coolest person on the world,
and I’m doing the coolest stuff. And talking about the sickest things and just
feeling good. And sometimes when I look at you my heart does a floppy thing,
but it feels right…”
They shut up for a few seconds.
Alex slowly reacts by putting his cold palm on
Miles’ bare chest and feeling his heart, effectively, drumming inside his ribs
“You are… feeling fine right now?”
“Oh, Al… I feel as if I were high!” Miles laughs,
exhausted by the nerves of Alex’s hand on his chest.
Alex feels strange in a kind of way that only
the ones who are in his situation are capable of feeling. His body is
comfortably numb and shaky, his head is light, and he feels hot in all the
right places and everything is just so warm.
“Yeah, I feel the same, ha” he says, like it
was totally normal.
For the hundredth time, they get silent.
Nothing happening on the outside but on the inside it was a wild party of
sensations and thoughts and jolts and lightnings and beats and drums…
“Did we just…?” Miles starts, making a
gesture with his palm.
“We did” Answers Alex.
And as awkward as it is, that’s how it ends.
Minutes go by, the flesh breeze of the sea wetting their toes, the moon looking
beautiful and the stars shinning. A drunk Matt screaming at the distance.
“We should get going…” mutters Miles, starting
to get up. Alex silently agrees.
“Wait” he says
When Miles turns around, first thing he sees is
Alex’s face smiling and his hands getting closer to his shoulders.
Born to write, your journalism career takes an interesting turn into the most sought after job in Washington D.C.
Hired on to none other the White House Staff - your oblivious surroundings made you realize you cross paths with someone you met long ago in college - someone that gave you nothing short nights you never forgot.