Say my Name so I can Hear It: Sanvers Soulmates AU
She doesn’t hear her first name spoken out loud until she’s fourteen years old.
People say her first name, of course.
They say it every day.
She can see it, and all its variations – Alex, Alexandra, Lexie – but she can’t hear it.
And she won’t.
Not until it rolls off of the lips of her soulmate.
So when her new sister tries out her name in a tongue that’s foreign to her, on a planet that’s foreign to her, she cries and she yells and she rages and she slams doors.
Because if this weird little girl from another planet is her soulmate?
How will she ever find romantic love?
Jeremiah finds her hours later – sitting on her surfboard on the beach, soaking wet – and Jeremiah smooths her hair away from her tear- and salt-stained face.
“The only people who can hear it when their siblings or parents or something say their names are the ones who are doomed to be alone,” she chokes, and Jeremiah shakes his head as he draws her closer into his chest.
“Don’t, I’m drenched,” she protests, but he just chuckles and kisses her sopping hair.
“It’s an amazing thing, Alex. That Kara’s your soulmate. To have someone as special as someone’s sister be their soulmate? That’s amazing, sport. Just like you. I was worried – your mom, too – when Clark called us. That you and Kara wouldn’t get along. But apparently, you’ll get along just fine.”
Alex perks up slightly. “But maybe it’s not the same with aliens. Maybe the same rules don’t apply.”
Jeremiah tousles her hair and shakes his head again. “Sorry, kiddo. I can’t hear it when she says my name. Guess she’s not my soulmate.”
“But then I’ll never have a boyfriend! Or…”
“Or a girlfriend?” Jeremiah asks gently, and Alex sniffles and won’t meet his eyes.
“Alex, lots of people date and even marry people who they can’t hear their name from. Happy people. Good relationships. And anyway, there’s no rule on how many soulmates someone can have. Don’t give up, champ. Okay?”
She agrees but then his plane crashes, and she breaks her promise.
She gives up.
Gives up on everyone – including herself.
Everyone except Kara.
Because Kara is her light and Kara is her world. And hearing Kara say her name – actually hearing her name off someone else’s lips – always feels like a miracle.
Kara always says Alex is the reason she doesn’t feel alone on this earth.
Alex feels the same thing about her sister.
She just gives up on the hopeful thrum of her heart when she introduces herself to someone new, when they greet her by name, when she sees their lips move and hope her ears will hear something to match. But no.
Kara is her soulmate. And that’s more than enough for her.
But then there’s this arrogant local cop on her tarmac.
Then there’s this beautiful woman, this miracle of a woman, and Alex finds herself wishing things she shouldn’t wish.
This woman calls her by her last name only, and Alex wonders if it’s a defense mechanism she’s developed. Protection she’s developed.
Because if she never says anyone’s first name, no one will ever know if she’s their soulmate.
But Alex falls for her anyway. Alex dives into her anyway.
Alex comes out and Alex tells Kara and Alex takes her by the arm and pulls her close into her body and she kisses her, and it doesn’t matter that she already has her sister as a soulmate, because that kiss, god, that kiss is what love should feel like, isn’t it?
But Maggie says no and Maggie rejects her, and Alex needs to bawl, she needs to drink, she needs to disappear into herself, but then she hears something she never thought she’d hear. Not ever.
“Alex, don’t go,” Maggie calls after her, and Alex freezes, and she turns, and she no longer knows which way is up.
“What did you just say?”
“No. I… your whole sentence. What was your whole sentence?”
“Alex, don’t go?”
She hears her name rolling off this perfect woman’s lips again.
“What, did you… you heard me, didn’t you? Say your first name.”
Alex stands and she stares and she doesn’t know whether to kiss her again or to run far, far away.
“But I… I can hear it when my sister says my name – “
“We can have more than one soulmate, Danvers. Alex.”
Tears flood her eyes, this time, and she thinks she sees them dancing in Maggie’s, too.
“Say it again?” she whispers, and Maggie smiles despite herself. Despite her terror.
Alex purses her lips and glances down at Maggie’s, but then she shakes her head and she throws up her defenses and she remembers her agony.
“But you don’t want me, you – “
“No, Alex, that’s not why I said no, I… I don’t want to hurt you, Danvers. Okay?”
“Why? Because you can’t hear it when I say your name?”
Maggie tilts her head and grins lopsidedly.
“You’ve never tried to say it, Danvers.”
Alex blinks. She calls her Maggie in her head, definitely. But she thinks back… out loud, she’s developed the same habit as Maggie has. Always titles. Always last names.
Maybe the only time she’s ever said Maggie’s first name out loud is in the moments before sleep, alone, in her dreams, together…
“You won’t hurt me, Maggie. I trust you.”
Maggie’s eyes fly wide, and there are definitely tears in them this time.
“You heard it, didn’t you?” Alex whispers, wondering if this is what flight feels like for Kara.
“You shouldn’t trust me,” Maggie rasps, but Alex does, she does, and Maggie doesn’t object, can’t object, doesn’t want to object, when Alex cups her face in her hands again, puts her lips on hers again.
And this time, she lets herself kiss her back.
Because Alex can hear it when she says her first name.
And Maggie can hear it when Alex says hers.
That, and this woman – this amazing, gorgeous woman – might be worth the risk, after all.
So, I wrote this prompt for day 3 of sanvers week before I committed to my smut every day idea, and I liked this enough to want to post it as well. It probably won’t go on AO3, but it’s on here at least.
@404artnotfound voluntarily beta’s my bullshit and therefore she is better than all of us.
@queercapwriting I saw u talking about angst, does this count? Playful angst…? In a college AU???? Listen I tried.
“I’m hanging up now. I have to study.”
“But it won’t be fun if I go alone!”
“You said Lena was going! Go and have fun with her!”
Kara huffs petulantly down the phone line, farewelling her sister begrudgingly before hanging up. Alex rolls her eyes. Some frat party on the other side of campus is pretty much the last thing on the list of things Alex wanted to do with her free time. Anyway, finals week is approaching up and she wouldn’t be allowed a second of fun without the gravity of her mother’s disapproval weighing on her mind.
@peggycarterislife wrote: Hmm
idk… I’m dealing with my homophobic family rn… so maybe you could
write Maggie running into her family or something like that?? Or some
smut? That’s always great Don’t wanna bother you though… and as follow-up, @all-the-gay-feels wrote Maggie
like to share her emotions AND is also killer in bed and hot af. She
uses her body/ sexuality w/ women to avoid digging deeper/ feels. What
if she doesn’t wanna talk and throws herself at Alex to use her body
instead of words and Alex calls her out on it.
I combined the prompts, and this is what happened.
She calls her mother every year on her birthday.
She probably shouldn’t.
She should have been defended as a child.
She probably shouldn’t call.
But she does, anyway, in the early hours of the morning when she knows her mother will be awake, but her father won’t be.
But this year? This year, for whatever damn reason, he’s awake. And he answers her mother’s phone.
He wants to know why she would ruin her mother’s day by starting it off with a call from such a selfish child who could have been such a beautiful daughter, but chose to abandon them all with her filth.
He wants her to know how much her mother loves her, how much he loves her, that she was the one who left them. That she was the one who broke their hearts. That she was the one who chose to be selfish. That she was the one who abandoned them, just like – he’s heard – she keeps abandoning these women she engages in such sin with.
He wants her to know – she hangs up the phone.
She doesn’t cry and she doesn’t think and she barely even breathes.
She tugs on her jacket. She tugs on her helmet. She kicks her Triumph to life and she speeds to Alex’s apartment.
She knows Alex will just be returning from her morning run. She knows Alex’s body will be warm, will be sweaty. Will be perfect.
“Maggie, hey, what – “ Alex asks as Maggie lets herself into her living room, as Maggie tosses her helmet onto a chair, as Maggie cuts off her words with a searing kiss.
A searing kiss that tears through Alex’s entire body, that makes Alex swoon, that makes Alex melt.
“Maggie,” she tries to say again, and Maggie pulls all the way back, fire burning in her eyes.
“You wanna talk or you want me to make you see stars?” Maggie asks, her eyes hard, her voice wrecked, her hands somehow both demanding and trembling, her body somehow both gentle and rough.
Alex gulps, because god, god, god, she knows what kinds of stars Maggie can make her see. Not even your typical G-class star. No, Maggie makes her see stars explode, makes her see supernovae, makes her see the birth and death of the universe in the curve of her fingers, the arch of her hips, the heat of her tongue, the insistence of her teeth. The intensity of her eyes, the relentlessness of her hands.
Alex gulps, and Alex wants, but there’s something off about Maggie’s stance, off about Maggie’s voice, about her eyes.
“Maggie, what’s wrong?”
Maggie grunts dismissively and backs Alex against the kitchen counter, eyes on her lips, on her body, like she’s starving for her, because god, she is.
“Wrong? The fact that you’re not writhing and screaming for me right now, Danvers.”
Alex’s body swoons of its own accord, and Maggie takes her weakened knees as consent, swooping in for another burning kiss.
Alex melts under her lips, her tongue, for a long, lingering moment, her lips parted and her body achingly pliant for Maggie’s aching hands, but only for a moment.
Only for a moment, because Alex knows Maggie.
She knows Maggie, and she knows she’s avoiding talking. Knows something’s wrong.
Knows she has something to say – so many things to say – and wants to write them into Alex’s skin with her body instead of forcing the words out of her lips, because fucking is easier than talking, because I want you is easier than I love you.
So she gathers all her strength, all her resistance, and she pulls back. Maggie growls, and the sound makes keeping from drowning in Maggie’s lust that much harder, but Alex loves her more than that.
“Maggie, stop,” she says soft, she says gentle, she says insistent, calibrating her voice carefully, intentionally, so Maggie doesn’t think she’s hurt her, because she hasn’t, she hasn’t, but god, she’s hurting herself.
“Tell me what’s wrong, Maggie.”
Maggie pushes away from Alex and retreats to the other side of the kitchen, the opposite counter, by the fridge. She crosses her arms over her chest and she glares.
“Why does something have to be wrong for me to want you, Danvers?” she counters, and Alex studies her with sharp eyes and a breaking heart.
“I love that you want me, Maggie. And I love when you’re rough with me. I love how much you tell me with your body. You make me feel wanted and cared for and respected and paid attention to. You make me feel…” She stops ahead of the word “loved,” because god if she’s wrong, she’ll never get over the humiliation.
“But you… you can fuck me like this, Maggie – I love it when you do, hell – but you can’t fuck me like this instead of talking to me. You can’t do it as a replacement. In addition, sure. But whatever’s bothering you, hurting you, right now? You have no intention of letting me help you with it. You have every intention of dealing with it alone, and the only way I get to help you is by spreading my legs for you. Is that right?”
Her voice is firm but her eyes are gentle, are brimming with empathy. With understanding.
And it’s that understanding that breaks Maggie.
She clenches her jaw so hard it might break, and she takes a shuddering breath, and she uncrosses her arms, and she steps forward.
Alex meets her in the middle and wraps her in her arms and kisses her hair as she shudders, as she counts her breaths, as she tries to still her own trembling.
“I got you,” Alex whispers. “I got you.”
“I’m sorry,” Maggie responds, her voice full of gravel. “I’m sorry, Alex, you don’t deserve… I… I tried to… it’s my mom’s birthday, and I tried to… I call her every year, but my… my dad answered and it… When he kicked me out, Alex, I never felt at home anywhere. Ever again. Anywhere. Not in college, not in Gotham, not when I first moved out here. Nowhere.”
She takes a shuddering breath and she steps back from Alex’s arms so she can look her in the face, because Maggie Sawyer is nothing if not absolutely brave.
“And then I met you. And then you kissed me, and then I kissed you, and then I… Alex, you’re… you’re my home. Now. You’re my home. My first home, my… my only home. So when my dad said all those things this morning, I… I had somewhere to go. For the first time in my life, I could… I could go home. To you. But I…”
“But you don’t like talking about yourself.”
Maggie nods, and Alex strokes her hair, and Alex dives, because if Maggie can be that brave, then dammit, so can she.
“You’re my home too, Maggie. And I… I love you. I’m here. Okay? I’m not going anywhere. Because I love you.”
Maggie doesn’t speak – she’s far exceeded her speaking quota for the day – but Alex doesn’t need her to. Not right now, anyway. Because the way she lets Alex hold her, the way she holds Alex back?
Those are all the words, all the promises, that she needs. All the words, all the promises, that she’s ever, ever wanted.
It starts fairly innocently. The gang is together at the bar, shooting pool and drinking together after a big win against Cadmus. Maggie had been looking at her through hooded eyes all night, and it’s starting to rile Alex up until…
“Are you made of Copper and Tellurium?” Maggie drawls in her ear when the rest of the group gets distracted by Lena declaring in slight tipsiness that she would build Kara a soft serve machine in her apartment.
Alex groans, dropping her head to the table heavily and waiting for her ridiculous girlfriend to continue.
“Because you are Cu-Te.”
“You’re gonna have to try harder than that, Sawyer.” Alex mutters, lifting her head to squint at Maggie. She looks far too proud of herself at the line, sliding closer to Alex in the booth and placing a dangerous hand just a little too high on her thigh.
So, you mentioned a Wayne Tech science fair. So, of course, this means Bruce would have to meet smol Alex. Can you tell us about the scenario were Bruce's is like "this kid's good" and Kara is all "YOU CAN'T HAVE HER, BATS"? (Meanwhile, Diana has wandered over and is now instructing a tiny, gleeful Danvers on the finer points of swordplay)
all the things Kara expects to see at the WayneTech Young Innovators
Alex Hirsch, Dana Terrace, Ian JQ, and Rebecca Sugar LIVESTREAM RECAP
I took a copious amount of notes and taken many, many screenshots so here is what happened today.
Alex Hirsch sings “Giant Woman” as Grunkle Stan and Soos.
Alex Hirsch’s drawing of a Scrooge McDuck and Pearl fusion.
Rebecca and Dana’s drawing of the new gemsona “Swan Dive”.
Alex Hirsch draws Bill Cipher tripping on Smile Dip.
Alex Hirsch’s, Rebecca Sugar’s, and Ian JQ’s choice of gem for Mabel, would be shaped like a heart and placed over her heart.
Alex Hirsch’s, Rebecca Sugar’s, and Ian JQ’s choice of gem for Dipper, would be shaped like his birthmark and placed on forehead.
Finished young Fiddleford and Shapeshifter drawing.
Finished Enid and Jasper drawing.
The New Crystal Gems (sans Pumpkin) at Gar’s Bodega with KO and Enid.
$15,038 in donations.
The gang singing the very long extended version of the Pokemon theme AND THE SOFT BOYZ!
Last moments of the livestream.
While watching I took a copious amount of notes so here they are completely unedited:
Alex sings “Giant Woman” while Rebecca plays ukelele. Alex and Rebecca sings “We’ll Meet Again” while Rebecca plays ukelele. “Swan Dive” is born. Alex draws Bill tripping on Smile Dip. Mabel’s gem would be “Cherry Tugtupite” on her heart. Dipper’s gem would be “Larimar” on head in shape of birthmark. Grunkle Stan’s gem would be “Pyrite” or “Fool’s Gold” on his back where secret tattoo is or under eyepatch as an eye. KO’s favorite Nintendo game is “New Super Mario Bros. U. Alex Hirsch and Ian JQ sing the Sonic song. The gang sings some Pokemon song. Rebecca Sugar and Ian JQ sings "It’s Only Magic”. ALEX EATS PIZZA. ALEX SAYS “SON OF A BITCH.” Gravity Falls and Steven Universe crossover would have Mabel appreciating everything. - Would take place in GF. - Crystal Gems would come to GF. - Would be an anomaly Dipper investigates. - Uncle Grandpa sends the gems to GF and only Ed, Edd, and Eddy could save them and a ton of other cartoon characters. Dilbert’s dog is named DILDOG! THE ZIRCONS ARE ALIVE BUT IN TROUBLE!!! SHE ANSWERED MY QUESTION!!! :O Smash Bros Main: Dana mains Link, Alex mains Kirby, didn’t hear the rest. Carla is not significant to the GF universe. Alex Hirsch thinks he shouldn’t describe the taste of szechuan sauce until Justin Roiland does a taste test. Alex was about to read a question about fusions but it was a paragraph long and it disappeared due to chat speed. The gang sings the Pokemon theme in character voices. There is an extended theme. Alex is tired of catching them all. Rebecca sings “Everything Stays.” THEY DRAW THE SOFT BOYZ!!!
AND THAT WAS THE LIVESTREAM. It was absolutely amazing and I would like to say thank you to @shmalexsmirsch, @ianjq, @danaterrace, and @rebeccasugar for putting on such a lovely livestream! You guys are the best and thanks for making such wonderful cartoons and supporting charities and the LGBT community!
(Or read on AO3. Look, I wrote a thing! A whole thing! I finished it!)
‘Agent Danvers, go home. You’re on leave.’
fine,’ Alex protests. Physically, she’s back to normal, and restless after a
mere two days of inactivity. She needs to be in the field. She needs to be
active. And the DEO – doesn’t exactly need her, she understands that, but it
doesn’t need its agents scrambling to deal with her unexpected absence either.
And she’s fine.
If she doesn’t remember that a glass box without air has been added to her
rotating menu of nightmares. If she doesn’t mention it took her ten minutes to
step under the shower this morning. J’onn gives her a piercing look, eyebrows
raised, and Alex realises he knows anyway. She scowls at him.
Sanvers prompt of Maggie's reaction to finding out Alex jumped off a building
It was a few days after the Daximite invasion. The city was quiet other than the sound of trucks cleaning up the damage in the streets.
The feel for everyone was still pretty somber. Especially for Kara who was trying her best to stay strong, but was still heartbroken.
Winn, the fun loving guy that he is, knew they all needed something to bring up the mood. And he knew exactly what that something was.
“Super friends game night.” He suggested at the DEO. “Come on; we need this.”
Kara shrugged and forced a smile. “I’m in, but my place is kind of a mess right now.”
“We can do it at mine!” Alex chimed in. “I’m sure Maggie won’t mind hosting, pretty sure it was our turn anyways.”
“Perfect. So tonight at Alex’s! I’ll let James know.” Winn smiled.
Kara was trying her best to have a good time, and for a while she was. They played clue but Maggie won, every time, within the first 3 minutes.
“I’m a detective, I detect.” She laughed as she stood from the floor and grabbed another round of beers for everyone.
They played Life. They played Monopoly, but quickly stopped when they realized Kara was almost in tears because she had played with Mon-el. They played Cards Against Humanity which made them all laugh for a little while.
“Oh, we have that new Janga!” Alex jumped up from her spot next to Maggie and bolted for their shelf in the living room. “It’s like old Janga but it has questions on every block, and you have to answer when you pick one!”
“Sounds fun, I’m in.” James smiled as she came back with the box.
With the tower set up the game began. About halfway through Winn poked a loose block and it wiggles free from the tower. She gently pulled it out and cheered for himself.
“Just read it Scott.” Maggie laughed.
“What is the most badass thing you’ve ever seen?” Winn read. He thought for a moment and then smiled. “I’ve seen a lot of badass things, but honestly, Alex nose diving off the building the other day, while shooting her gun was pretty freakin badass.” He looked at Alex who’s eyes had gone wide.
“She what?” Maggie spoke.
“Maggie, I wasn’t…I didn’t…”
“You jumped off of a building?”
“Well…it was mor-”
“Alex Danvers, did you, or did you not, jump off of the DEO roof?” The room was silent as they watched this encounter. Alex knew she was in trouble the minute her first and last name came out of Maggie’s mouth.
“Babe, it was my only way out.” Alex answered.
Maggie pounded her fist of the coffee table, causing it to shake and the tower to fall. “Fuck Danvers.” She grunted as she stood and ran her hands through her hair. She took a breath before looking at the group sitting on the floor. “I think you guys should go.”
“No guys it’s still early, we’re having fun, sta-”
“Alex.” Maggie said. The look in her eyes said everything Alex needed to know.
Alex sighed. She could feel the fight coming.
“I’m getting kind of tired anyway.” Winn said quickly standing from his seat.
“Anyone want a flight home?” Kara asked, as she was the only one that the drinking didn’t effect.
Before Alex could blink the living room was empty. She took a breath before turning to face Maggie.
“It really w-”
“You jumped off of the fucking roof?!” Maggie cut her off.
“I told you, it was my only way out!” Alex replied matching Maggie’s loudness.
“Bullshit Al, there’s always another way.” Maggie huffed as she began to pace. “We talked about this, you promised you would think before putting yourself in danger like that.”
“I did think! I assessed my options Maggie, that was my best one.” Alex threw her arms in the air. “I knew Kara would be there to catch me, and she was, I’m fine.”
“I don’t care if you had 20 flying Superheroes ready to catch you, you can’t just jump off the roof of buildings.”
“Maggie, I could go jump off the balcony right now and Kara would be here to catch me with no warning.” Alex sighed. “We were on the phone, she knew what I was going to do. I knew she’d be there.”
“But what if she wasn’t!” Maggie yelled. She huffed and sat down on the couch. “I just…”
“I know.” Alex replied as she sat next to Maggie. “I’m sorry. I promise you Mags, it was my only option. I never would have done it if I didn’t have full trust in Kara”
“I trust Kara too, but babe….” she looked at Alex, fear was the most readable emotion In her eyes. “The roof?”
“Well technically it was the balcony but same difference.” Alex shrugged causing Maggie to muster up a small amused smile.
“Why do you love danger so much?” Maggie sighed as she laid her head on her fiancé’s shoulder. “You’re going to give me a heart attack one of these days.”