Here’s the thing:
Do addicts have to take personal responsibility for their choices and actions? 100% yes. Absolutely. They do have some control over whether or not they get better.
But if you are to the point where you are drinking or using so much that your work, home life, finances, relationships, well-being, and health are being put in jeopardy, I think it’s pretty safe to assume that it’s not a simple matter of “choice” here.
Normal people who use “normally” would and could easily stop once negative consequences occur. A lightbulb would go off and they would think, “Hey, maybe I shouldn’t do that!”
But when you are sitting there with urine on yourself, sleeping on your driveway without knowing how you got there, spending your rent on alcohol, isolating yourself from your family because you’d rather use, drinking despite getting multiple DUIs, using even though you know it’s not going to make things better in the long-run, you really should ask yourself why you keep making such stupid decisions if it’s a matter of choice. Why would a normal, sane person keep using if the end result was so shitty?
Hm, maybe because it’s more than just choosing to start or stop? Maybe the illness is not necessarily your drug intake but the roots beneath why you are using in the first place? Maybe because as much as you try to convince yourself you are “choosing” to live that way – maybe somehow you deserve it, or because you just don’t care, or because you’d rather enjoy the temporary benefits of using despite the long-term costs, or maybe because you don’t have the willingness to change things despite, deep down, knowing you should – your denial that you are sick is what is going to keep you sick. A different, more positive life is too scary for you. Ask yourself why that is.