alcoholic popsicles

Kiwi Colada Pops

5 oz can pineapple juice

1 tbsp cream of coconut

2 oz coconut rum

1-2 kiwis, peeled and sliced

In a small bowl, mix juice, cream of coconut, and rum. Pour into molds, filling halfway. Place 2 slices of kiwi in each mold against opposite sides. Fill the rest of the way with the juice mixture. Insert sticks between the fruit. Freeze 3 hours, or until solid.

the signs’ answers to, “when life gives you lemons…”
  • Aries: “…find life, punch it in the face, and demand strawberries”
  • Taurus: “…make lemonade; build the lemonade, 2.5oz vodka, and 1oz blue Curaçao over ice in a highball glass; garnish with lemon wedges, orange slices, or maraschino cherries as desired (optional); sit back and enjoy your Disco Lemonade”
  • Gemini: “…make lemonade slushies in the blender and get brain freeze from chugging one too quickly”
  • Cancer: “…make lemon-rice soup for the soul, and a lemon meringue pie for dessert, as long as you have enough lemons”
  • Leo: “…make lemonade; mix with vodka and cranberry juice; put concoction in an ice cube tray with toothpicks, put ice cube tray into freezer; wait a few hours, then sit back and enjoy your homemade alcoholic cranberry-lemonade popsicles”
  • Virgo: “…make *PINK* lemonade and refuse to share it with everybody who’s harshing your good vibes, pointlessly complaining about freaking lemons”
  • Libra: “…make some lemonade, some spiffy badass lemon bread, some poppyseed muffins with a lemon-sugar glaze, and then mix equal parts lemonade and Absolut Citron in an imperial pint glass and have the best damn picnic ever”
  • Scorpio: “…squirt the lemons in life’s eyes, because unless that little shit also hands you sugar and water? your lemonade is gonna SUCK”
  • Sagittarius: “…throw it back in life’s face and shout, ‘I said I wanted a *MANGO*!’”
  • Capricorn: “…question your sense of empirical observation because the metaphysical concept of life just delivered you fresh produce”
  • Aquarius: “…make grape juice, then sit back and watch the world wonder how you did it”
  • Pisces: “…be grateful that life didn’t give you something worse, then steal all of life’s salt and top-quality tequila anyway, because that rat bastard went and stuck you with all these freaking lemons”