I feel like when we were growing up, we were told that addicts and alcoholics were these bad people with no real direction in life. We were taught to “Just say no to drugs!” And if you didn’t, you would end up looking like you were 68 instead of 28. They left out the part that worst thing about addiction isn’t losing everything you have but losing yourself.

They didn’t tell us that years later we would be on our hands and knees searching desperately for change so we would have enough money to buy alcohol at the store. They left out the part where being sober feels like the worst thing in the world because you can’t stand another minute without being numb to it all.

They didn’t tell us that addiction is a disease and those of us who suffer from it are sick.

I wasn’t ready for this.

Hello!

I’ve been MIA for the last few months because I’m in recovery for addiction (specifically alcohol!) I’m 79 days sober today.

I was drinking beer almost every night for about three years. I think I drank beer because it made me feel like less of an alcoholic, like “Oh, it’s just beer. You’re not drinking the hard stuff. You’re fine.” I gained about 30 lb and was severely depressed and suffered from anxiety attacks. I didn’t want to go anywhere or do anything unless there would be alcohol there.

Since I’ve quit, I’ve discovered a few things. First, my anxiety is almost completely gone. So I guess that was alcohol induced. Second, the depression is still there! And that’s something I’ve been struggling with these past few months that I’ve been basically missing from Tumblr.

To anyone who placed an order in my shop– I’m so sorry this is happening right now and I’m working on orders today, hoping to get every single order out by the end of this week. If you didn’t receive a tracking number, you should receive one in your e-mail by Sunday. I’m adding in so many extras for you. Doesn’t make up for me being shitty and flaky, but hopefully they will bring you some joy.

Here’s my before and after so far. I lost 17 lb. and then gained 1 lb. back because of election stress. #fuckdonaldtrump