alcohol label

Mister Hockey and the boy crying in the kitchen

(complete version)

Alternate Universe where Bitty is a figure skater at Samwell. He and Jack meet for the first time at #Epikegster 2014.

warning labels: Alcohol, mentioned homophobia, Parse. 


 Jack went down the stairs with a huff of annoyance. The first floor of the Haus was packed from wall to wall. Loup thumping music, laughter and yells that were barely tolerable from his room now seemed almost tangible, crushing him from all sides. He could already feel the beginnings of a headache.

 He pushed his way through and managed to reach the kitchen unscated. Only three guys were sitting at the table, loudly debating Plato’s cavern versus the Matrix, and another was leaning on the counter near the stove, muttering to himself.

Jack opened a cupboard, swore under his breath when he saw that it was empty of their usual mugs, glasses and bottles. He took a new red solo cup from the enormous pack available to all, and filled it with tap water, trying to ignore the guys at the table.

 ‘…aren’t you the most precious thing, baby…’

 Jack turned around. The guy next to the oven was muttering endearments with a southern drawl- but there was no one next to him. He wasn’t even holding a phone.

 Jack had a doubt. Was the guy talking to him?

 ‘Yes, you are lovely, a bit old, but I would love you, and take care of you, and create glorious things with you, oh sweetheart, if only…’

 The guy was not talking to Jack. He was talking to the oven.

 He was also, apparently, completely drunk.

 ‘… better things than pizza rolls, you can be sure of that, you sexy thing…’

 Jack was a moment away from heading back to his room when he heard a sob.

 ‘… but it’s not to be, pretty thing, you and I will have to go our own separate ways and- sniffle- get with our own lonely lives and - oh lord, I’m being ridiculous-’

 ‘Huh-’ started Jack. ‘Are you okay?’

 The guy turned around. He looked older than Jack expected. At least, he seemed to be over eighteen. Jack only had an impression of eyes and blond before he got the drunkest and fakest smile he ever saw in his life.

 ‘HI!’ said the boy. ‘Gosh, you’re big.’

‘… are you okay?’ repeated Jack.

 ‘Why, yes, of course! I’m peachy!’

 ‘You’re crying.’

 The guy seemed surprised by this fact. He dried his tears with the sleeve of his hoodie and made a dismissive gesture with his other hand.

 ‘Don’t mind me, sweetheart, I’m being silly.’

 ‘…You were crying,’ insisted Jack. ‘And talking to the oven.’

 ‘Well, no one else seemed to give her love, so I figured-’

 He stopped himself and looked at Jack.

 ‘You’re the Captain of the hockey team,’ he realised. ‘This is your house. This is your oven.’

 ‘…Yes? In a manner of speaking?’

 ‘What’s her name?’

 ‘Whose name?’

 ‘The OVEN,’ insisted the guy.

 ‘She- it doesn’t have a name?’

 ‘Blasphemy. If I had the chance to own such a lovely baby, I would name her something adorable! Like Daisy, or Betsy, and I would bake everyday, I would make pies and cookies and biscuits and-’

 He burst into tears.

 Jack threw a look around. The guys at the table were staring at them.

 ‘Dude, what’d you do to him?’

 ‘Nothing!’

 ‘D’you break up with him or something?’

 ‘No! We just met! He was talking about the oven- and then- and then-’

 He made a helpless motion towards the crying boy.

 ‘Maybe you should do something about it?’ suggested one of them.

 ‘Like what?’

 ‘Dunno. Something. To make him stop crying.’

 Jack hesitated. He thought about retreating to the safety of his room, where the music didn’t hurt his ears and blonde strangers didn’t burst into tears at the sight of a kitchen appliance.

 Awkwardly, he lifted a hand and patted the guy’s shoulder.

 ‘…there, there,’ he muttered, feeling like the most ridiculous man on Earth.

 He got several thumbs ups from the table residents. Which didn’t help his predicament at all. The boy was still crying.

 ‘Hey, hey, shh, don’t cry, everything is going to be okay…’

 ‘You don’t know that!’ wailed the blonde boy.

 ‘Okay, you’re right. Maybe, huh, what could make it right?’

 ‘I want to BAAAAAAAAAKE!’


(more under the cut!)

Keep reading

In celebration of Dishonored 2′s release and it being Fun As Heck, I give you this thing! It’s been sitting on my hard drive, unfinished and unloved for the better part of two years. What better time than now to dust it off and finish it at long last?

I’ve learned a lot and expanded my skills since first working on this, and there are quite a few things I’d do differently given the opportunity to remake it. 

Lineart under the cut, because it’s pretty nice without color too.

Keep reading

SKINCARE TIPS

Things that I wish I had learned long ago so my skin wouldn’t be as much of a mess as it is

1.) Jar packaging is a big no. Any beneficial ingredients will break down with prolonged exposure to oxygen. Plus, unless you have a small plastic beauty spatula, it’s flat out unhygienic. Products with pumps are the best and are way less messy, too!

2.) If a product contains alcohol (labeled as alcohol denatured or SD-40 alcohol) DO NOT USE IT. Alcohol is a major irritant and will destroy your skin and dry it out terribly! If it’s cetearyl alcohol, it’s fine and will not cause irritation. It’s just there as a thickener to make sure your product doesn’t separate

3.) Try and avoid fragranced products the best you can. Even though we all love using shit that smells good, fragrance is also an irritant. If it’s really low on the ingredient list and the product doesn’t smell like much, it should be fine but still has a chance of causing damage to the skin

4.) A product making your skin tingle isn’t actually a good thing, even though it makes it feel like the product is doing something!! Tingling is irritation to the skin and is still causing damage in the long run, even if it doesn’t look like it’s causing damage. 

5.) Opaque packaging is best!!! Not only are most beneficial ingredients air-sensitive, they’re also light-sensitive and will cause them to degrade and become useless!

6.) When buying a moisturizer, look for beneficial ingredients like ceramides and niacindamides! They help rebuild and repair the skin!

7.) DO NOT USE PRODUCTS WITH LEMON ANYTHING IN THEM ON YOUR FACE!! It will cause damage to your skin and make your skin more sensitive!

anonymous asked:

not to be Gay but I can't imagine for the life of me how Bones could *not* love Jim. both in a friendly way and in an "I'm in love with you way". it's just kind of an inevitability imo and Bones is 100% the type of person who gets all sappy and adorable in private because Jim Kirk Deserves To Be Loved Dammit and Bones doesn't really do "casual" (plus no way would Jim do that with Bones because It's Bones???)

*holds ur face in my hands* anon,,, if this is you being Gay,, please always be as Gay as possible

this is such a beautiful ask; i don’t know if i’ll be able to provide even half as satisfactory an answer, but i’ll do my best

  • a simple fact: bones loves jim. bones is absolutely head-over-heels, awfully, terribly, ridiculously in love with jim kirk.
  • it’s not an easy kind of love. it’s a very difficult, complicated sort of love, and yet it’s also the simplest kind- age-old, bone-deep devotion, slowly developed over years. bones would go to the ends of the earth for jim kirk, alongside jim kirk, with only mild a lot of complaining, but that’s the thing: he’d follow jim anywhere; no matter how much he grumbled and criticised jim’s often questionable decisions, he’d drag himself by a fingernail to be with jim every step of the way.
  • it’s not instant love, either. there’s no chorus of angels, no sharp sting of cupid’s arrow hitting it’s mark when bones sees jim kirk for the first time. when bones first meets jim on that shuttle in iowa, he just sees another kid starfleet scraped off the streets and stuffed his head full of pretty, empty promises of honour and hope and glory and the excitement of exploring the vast uncharted void of space. they’d swallow him up and, once they’d extracted everything they could gain from him, they’d spit out the broken, useless remains.
  • bones has already left a daughter and an ex-wife behind. he doesn’t someone else to take care of. someone else who will destroy themselves and drag him down with them when they do. but when bones looks at jim- really looks at him- and sees the determination built on more than just starfleet’s manufactured fantasies burning in his eyes, he realises he has no choice in the matter.
  • bones is a healer. he has a gift for repairing people, for putting them back together. that’s why he became a doctor. and bones knows jim, before he even knows jim, will be an unstoppable force when he decides to rush headlong into danger and dash himself to pieces at the bottom. but maybe, just maybe, bones can be there to pick up the pieces. to hold them together as best as he can.
  • (loving jim is an inevitable conclusion, but the journey to get there is a complicated one, one that bones has to undertake and accept in his own time, on his own terms.)
  • and so every day for three years, bones forces himself to wake up in the morning, and every day he finds himself by jim kirk’s side, listening with incredulity to this genius kid with his too-loud mouth that can’t speak in whispers and his too-bright eyes that are feverish in their intensity ramble on about his hopes, observations, ambitions and opinions and somehow, no matter how much he gripes and insists that jim’s a damn fool, headed for a hard fall one day, mark my words, he somehow finds himself agreeing with him every single time.
  • jim kirk burns his candle at both ends, and yet somehow stubbornly continues to burn hotter and brighter, even as the darkness closes around him, and bones finds himself realising he’d do anything to be there to weather the storm for this kid who has no concept of personal privacy and steals his alcohol, who labels him with shitty nicknames and petty insults that sound too much like fond endearments to be safe, who gets into stupid fights because he can and always calls bones first because he knows bones will drop whatever he’s doing to be there with harsh words and gentle hands when jim kirk needs him the most.
  • (a deep, long-buried part of bones knows that jim kirk is saving him, too, but that’s a secret he keeps even from himself, for both their sakes.)
  • bones doesn’t just love jim- he’s devoted to him. it’s devotion that makes him follow jim into space- “disease and danger wrapped in darkness and silence” and all- despite his aviphobia and his reservations about jim’s decision making-abilities, because at the end of the day, where else would he go?
  • and so every day bones forces himself to wake up and carry on, and every day it gets a little easier and yet so much harder at the same time, because one day bones looks into jim’s eyes and finally sees what he thought was reckless abandon and a hunger for self-destruction replaced by the hope that lit them from within all along, and soon after has to stop looking altogether, because doing so causes his mouth to go dry and his heart to stutter painfully in his chest.
  • bones knows he can’t have jim. jim won’t survive being tied down, and bones refuses be the one to clip his wings and try to ground him. bones is a doctor- he’s good at putting things back together, repairing them. he’s also very skilled at taking them apart.
  • bones has taken it upon himself to hold jim together when the rest of the world is against him. he won’t betray jim’s faith in him by breaking him. bones devoted himself to jim and to starfleet the moment he first stepped on the enterprise at the beginning of their five-year mission. he’s made his peace with that. and that’s enough. it has to be.
  • and it is, until they’re on a recon mission and for the first time in months there’s no hostile native species, no tricks or traps or battles to be fought, and the whole crew is relaxing on the planet they beamed down to. chekov found a lake with clean water, and spock deemed it safe enough to bring food down to the surface. and bones is just sitting and watching them all enjoy themselves- chekov and sulu examining the local flora, uhura reclining on the grass with chapel, spock trying to console a fretful scotty- when bones looks up and there’s jim kirk, standing directly in front of him, one hand thrust out like an offering.
  • “go with me” says jim. “where?” asks bones, and jim smiles. “does it matter?”
  • and as bones forces himself to meet jim’s eyes for the first time in months and sees his own devotion reflected back at him, something inside him falls, gracelessly, but with an inevitability that is strangely comforting, into place.
  • oh, it says.
  • there you are, it says. i’ve been looking for you.
  • bones stands up and dusts off his pants. “alright” he says. jim hasn’t moved; his hand is still outstretched, waiting.
  • he takes it.

shkshjs im sorry this turned in a rambly fanfic/headcanon dump