alcohol addiction

My name is Hannah and I've got something to say...

I’ve seen a lot of shit about Pearl lately and it’s all about her being a drug addict and alcoholic which are EXTREMELY serious things to assume. You are a viewer, a fan, not their friend or family so how fucking dare you assume something that serious. Addiction is not a joke, I’ve never personally experienced it but I’ve seen how it can ruin other people’s lives and it is not something to just loosely throw around about someone you don’t know.
Watching videos of Pearl she does talk about doing drugs and drinking but she’s 25(right?) and is from New York like she’s young and can do that and I think by now she will know her limits to stay safe.
She’s gotten a lot of shade from other queens for not being professional and not showing up to gigs and that’s happened like what? Twice? One she couldn’t go to because SHE FUCKING PASSED OUT AND HIT HER HEAD!!!! And the other one idk but she had just come back from Australia and had been in high drag all day in the heat so yeah it probably didn’t end well. She’s flying around the world doing her thing promoting and performing coming off of being in the top 3 so she’s probably stressed and busy. I’m not going to defend her anymore than that because I don’t know her I don’t know her daily routine or anything and more importantly it’s not my place or any of our place to say or speculate.

sophisnotaturkey asked:

hey ^_^ this is not a submission, i have a question! i just recently became an mcr fan and i'm fairly new to the fandom and i just came across your post about bob bryar and you said that Gerard's fucked up many times and Mikey too and i was wondering whether you could explain some of the things to me? if you have time of course and if you're not drowning in submissions. i mean i know of their alcohol and drug abuse/addiction etc. but i'm not sure whether that's what you meant by they fucked up?

(part two) it sounded more like they did stupid things that harmed others and not just themselves. does that make sense? i hope you know what i mean and i hope you can help me out. have a nice day/evening! :))

well i kind of meant that in the general sense of we’ve all fucked up. but if you want specific examples, its really just the same three issues with gerard: the dr. pepper thing and the transbaiting/gaybaiting issues. and for mikey his only controversy was the “cheating scandal” that i mentioned in the bob post. 

but what i was trying to get across was the fact that pretty much all of the way brother’s “controversies” have room for discussion. theres multiple ways you can look at things, and particularly with mikey’s “scandal” that wasnt anyone elses business anyway.

theres no real way to get around the fact that bob stated that the ferguson protesters and bicyclists should die. and yet some people still take bob’s side, and regard him as the better human being? 

well, at least, i haven’t heard much of that since i made that post. :p

I fight the old me everyday. Sometimes she’s not so bad and I can keep her in line. But some days she’s a real bitch.
—  Lena Slaughter

To anyone struggling with addiction,

You can do this.

I’ve been sober for 11 years this year after nearly drinking myself to death for nearly a decade. If i hadn’t stopped and got the help i needed, i wouldn’t have seen my 24th birthday.

When you’re first in recovery, the first couple of years are the hardest. You’ll want to use or drink or go back to your old ways, whatever your addiction - they don’t call it a habit for nothing.

When you feel like you want to use, call someone. If you can’t call someone, then distraction is the key. Go for a walk, hit the gym, clean your room, dance around the kitchen like a twat, anything. Distracting yourself from those antsy, restless feelings will help and the moment will pass.

But you can do this, i know you can. I’m so proud of you for making the choice to admit you have a problem and deciding that you’re going to kick your addiction’s backside into submission. You can totally do this.

You are strong, you are brave and you are amazing. Keep doing what you’re doing and it will get easier, i promise you. Take it from a former alcoholic who used to self harm, IT GETS EASIER.

Stay strong my darlings and be brave.

You’ve got this and i believe in you.

With all my love,

Me xx

What’s Your Hurry?

Once you quit drinking, things will get better.

Once you’ve finished treatment, things will get better.

Once you get your addiction under control, things will get better.

When entering recovery, these are things that everyone will tell you; fellow addicts/alcoholics, counselors, family, friends… They all say the same thing: once you do it, things will get better. It is the promise of better things to come that brings so many of us to the starting point of our journey in recovery. For me, it was no different.

While I was drinking, my life was a mess. I was going nowhere fast and I couldn’t seem to “get my shit together.” The promise that “things will get better,” is what kept me motivated; I had felt like a “loser,” for too long. I was ready to go out and do the things that many people my age were doing – I was ready to take control of the direction that my life was moving in, and start working towards a future. What everyone failed to mention, however, was how long it would take before things started getting better.

I had thought that “things will get better,” meant that I could get back to living my life – get back on the track that most my age are on, and work on building a future for myself. A year in to sobriety, I felt trapped; I had a part-time job that I hated, but couldn’t find work elsewhere and was far too in debt from my drinking days. Trapped in a part-time job that made me miserable was so familiar that it had felt hardly anything had changed at all. It was discouraging to look to my peers, building their list of accomplishments, and think “Well, this is as good as things are going to get for you. You’ve made too many mistakes; buried yourself far too deeply. You’ll spend the rest of your life going nowhere while you pay for the choices you’ve made.”

It took me quite a while to realize that “things getting better,” is a process. It started with happiness, self-value, and inner peace – that was the first part to get better. Next was my health - both physical and mental well-being. Then, my relationships started improving; my life was filling up with good people, the type of people that wouldn’t have been around if I wasn’t a good person myself. Sadly, though, it was difficult to see these things. I couldn’t appreciate them because I had expected everything to get better at once – I didn’t understand the process, I didn’t understand patience.

I am writing this entry so that I may have the opportunity to say what I wished had been said to me; “Once you’re in recovery, things will start to get better. Trust the process and enjoy the small victories, because they are steps in the staircase to ‘better.’ Take time to give yourself a pat on the back. Nothing magically ‘gets better’ overnight, but you will get there if you keep moving forward.”

I am at a point now where I can look back on these days and laugh at my impatience. I have finally come to a place where I am achieving my goals, and I have accomplishments that I can be truly proud of. I am doing the things that I need to do for my future – things that I never, ever could have done if I hadn’t gotten sober. Now, I understand what they mean when they say “Once you’re sober, things will get better.”

I Am Mad About Rose Lalonde And I Have Lots Of Reasons Why

No post that starts with abuse and recovery is important, no really, but i’m still fucking upset, is going to sound good, but that’s basically where my thoughts are at.  I mean I get it.  I get why it’s important, I get why Dave’s recovery is being emphasized so much, I get how Dirk’s reflection is so much more important now that it’s not just a facet of his self-loathing, I get how many strides they’ve made and I get that they’re in so much better of a place now than they ever were before.

I totally get it.

I don’t think this is a bad update.  I think it’s a great update, an astounding update, one of the best homestuck updates in such a very long time, and it’s for that reason this particular update gets me so upset, because it has to sit there next to all of the other updates I’ve been reading through.  It has the honor of being judged against every Vriska-log that I’ve hated, or underwhelming John-Terezi interaction.  (I don’t care for the ship, but that’s off-topic, and not the thing that has seized my shrill bearded livestock tonight.)

I don’t think that Rose’s development matters anymore.  I mean, it presumably should, and may well do, but it feels diminished in scope.  Small.  

This is the part that kind of got to me.  Because I understand that this is Dave’s perspective on the matter.  And what it says about him– how robbed he feels, never having had a real childhood, and the obvious symptoms of PTSD he explains having had, the horrifyingly cruel irony of his land being “heat and clockwork” when the sight of blood and metal both terrify him– that is some heavy shit.  “Trumped up nonsense” is pretty bitter and dismissive.  It says a couple things to me:

  1. Dave and Rose never really had much time together, despite being siblings and best friends prior to SBURB.  They never respectively talked about their respective parental issues.
  2. Dave did, however, come to this conclusion elsewhere.  Either having communicated via charades with the mayor, or far more likely, spending time with Karkat.  I presume that Vriska didn’t barge in on him, smack a Cool Kid katana out of his hand and shout at him for having issues, but canon may prove me wrong on this count as well.
  3. Dave kind of resents Rose and John for their childhoods.  I mean, this is some pretty emotional, candid language right here.  He feels like he bought it, like his thirteen-year-old friends were doing their very best to make him believe that they were worse off than he was, and he had been lied to about their situations.  They had what he didn’t all along, and how could he have trusted them for all this time?

This didn’t really click with me.  I know that we’re supposed to believe that Rose is just cured–

That she went through some deep soul-searching about her place in Paradox space, went from addicted to not-addicted, while maintaining her relationships–

But it honestly didn’t feel right to me.  Maybe it’s because it felt like Dirk and Dave had a very comprehensive and cathartic conversation, one that dug through every one of their lingering hang-ups regarding one another, but even before this update happened, I could feel a little bit off about how the meeting went down.

Because Love wasn’t really enough in that relationship.  Rose does not trust other people.  Worse, she does not really trust herself.  Everything felt like something that could be twisted and exaggerated into a gruesome mockery of her feelings– a stuffed cat in a grand mausoleum, a gigantic sculpture of a grizzled and ancient wizard guarding her door– little velvet pillows. 

One can easily say that Rose was behaving immaturely towards her mother, who was just doing the best that she could.  I can grant you that.  However, hypothetical dissenter who exists only to serve as a poorly-erected straw enemy, rose was thirteen years old.  She was even younger when the crusade of passive-aggression must have began.  And the real kicker about all of this?

She doesn’t even really get what was so fucked up about all of that.  She doesn’t trust herself to be open or honest.  She hates the fact that Jasprose is basically spouting her every thought at rapidfire, many of which are thoughts she can undeniably claim to be her own.  

Humanizing your parent makes sense.  But at some point Rose is going to have to accept that it’s not just her own fault her relationship with her mother deteriorated.  That maybe her home life still wasn’t all that happy, and it wasn’t just her own determined crusade to be miserable.  But there is not a single page written that shows Rose accepts that.  She gets that alcoholism is by nature self-destructive, but not that it appeared to have any influence on her life growing up, and not that she understood that maybe there was a little bit more to it than just being nervous.  Because it made her feel different.  Like a better person who was happier and more charming and had more fun, let her giggle out loud and say silly things without feeling like she was stupid for even bothering.

Why do I get the feeling that Vriska’s advice to Rose, upon smashing her bottle, was to ironically “8ottle that shit up and don’t tell no one!!!!!!!!”  Because it feels like it.  

Another thing I wanted to say before I put this very long post to rest and stop writing–

Kanaya supposedly helped her through her addiction,

But their relationship is scarcely even touched upon.  We are told in no uncertain terms, yes, they are dating, and continue to date one another many times throughout the story.  Kanaya firmly rejects the idea that she’d want to break up with her over her alcoholism in the doomed timeline.  They reaffirm several times through the recent updates– yes, Kanaya and Rose are dating, yes, they like each other and remain quite close.

We are told.

And we are shown none of it.

Kanaya’s presence is near to nil in Roxy’s conversation with Rose, and she disappears from it soon after that.  More time is spent with Dave conversing with Roxy– interesting, in its own right, sure– than with Kanaya talking to or about either of them.  Basically Kanaya helped her through an addiction, and she trusts her and remains grateful to her, aside from the fact that they seem to remain incredibly awkward and barely able to talk to one another.  

Their relationship is just taken as read.  Like the invisible red string of fate is just tying them together, even though they have shit-all to do with one another most of the time.  Even though there is barely any intersection between their respective relationships and goals, we just nod at the fact that they’re together.

We just kind of assume that they have a good relationship somewhere off screen. 

I mean.

Y’know. 

Probably.

Okay okay okay I really do like the relationship.  I love Rose and Kanaya together.  I ship them to incredible degrees and I love stories about them, I love pictures of them, I love Rose and Kanaya in general as my favorites in homestuck.  I just hate the fandom trend to make it totally and completely uncomplicated, as though they have nothing to work through and just spend their days and nights with one another in smiling complacence, because that’s what their relationship feels like in the retconned timeline.  Just a couple of happy lesbians together with no problems whatsoever, because gosh, who’d want something like depth in a relationship like that???

Also, this line reminds me of one thing and one thing alone–

Originally posted by 369

I’ve kind of avoided talking about Bro and Dave’s relationship in the past, partly because speculation on abuse/mental illness is not something I like to do lightly (especially because people tend to ignore the gray-area or nuance involved in those things), but I do think it’s important to note that the relationship between Rose and Mom has kind of fallen under the radar in comparison

It’s always kind of rubbed me the wrong way that Mom was kind of assumed to be just misunderstood, while Bro was “the abusive one,” but…it’s a little more complicated than that. It’s understandable that people would glaze over it a little given that Roxy’s a very likeable character, and likeable characters can’t be abusive or hurtful…right? But the reality is, Roxy’s addiction did lead to some problematic things, and while she’s a great and wonderful person, addiction sometimes brings out the worst in people…like, before they entered Sburb, Roxy did kind of blow up Jane’s computer. While Jane was sitting at it. If it wasn’t for GCAT and Roxy’s change of heart, that could have ended pretty badly. A lot of her pre-sobriety interactions were reckless and passive-aggressive, and even though she was still fun and energetic, her emotions were sometimes self-destructive and unchecked. To assume Mom’s free of these sorts of interactions is a little rose-colored-glasses, especially given Rose’s reactions to her. 

And I would like Mom’s addiction and neglectfulness to be addressed in-comic, especially if we’re taking those themes seriously in the narrative in regards to how they affect the characters. I mean, as soon as they got to the Medium, Mom just kind of…left. We don’t even get a solid reason as to why, and she spent her time romancing dad–Rose didn’t see her again until she was dead. Rose blamed herself for that, and while I do believe they both loved each other genuinely, I think that did have an effect on Rose, particularly in terms of expecting people to have ulterior motives (which is still apparent even in the latest group of updates). It’d be nice to have that unwrapped a little

Researchers Study Alcohol Addiction Using Optogenetics

Wake Forest Baptist Medical Center researchers are gaining a better understanding of the neurochemical basis of addiction with a new technology called optogenetics.

In neuroscience research, optogenetics is a newly developed technology that allows researchers to control the activity of specific populations of brain cells, or neurons, using light. And it’s all thanks to understanding how tiny green algae, that give pond scum its distinctive color, detect and use light to grow.

The technology enables researchers like Evgeny A. Budygin, Ph.D., assistant professor of neurobiology and anatomy at Wake Forest Baptist, to address critical questions regarding the role of dopamine in alcohol drinking-related behaviors, using a rodent model.

“With this technique, we’ve basically taken control of specific populations of dopamine cells, using light to make them respond - almost like flipping a light switch,” said Budygin. “These data provide us with concrete direction about what kind of patterns of dopamine cell activation might be most effective to target alcohol drinking.”

The latest study from Budygin and his team published online in last month’s journal Frontiers in Behavioral Neuroscience. Co-author Jeffrey L. Weiner, Ph.D., professor of physiology and pharmacology at Wake Forest Baptist, said one of the biggest challenges in neuroscience has been to control the activity of brain cells in the same way that the brain actually controls them. With optogenetics, neuroscientists can turn specific neurons on or off at will, proving that those neurons actually govern specific behaviors.

“We have known for many years what areas of the brain are involved in the development of addiction and which neurotransmitters are essential for this process,” Weiner said. “We need to know the causal relationship between neurochemical changes in the brain and addictive behaviors, and optogenetics is making that possible now.”

The researchers used cutting-edge molecular techniques to express the light-responsive channelrhodopsin protein in a specific population of dopamine cells in the brain-reward system of rodents. They then implanted tiny optical fibers into this brain region and were able to control the activity of these dopamine cells by flashing a blue laser on them.

“You can place an electrode in the brain and apply an electrical current to mimic the way brain cells get excited, but when you do that you’re activating all the cells in that area,” Weiner said. “With optogenetics, we were able to selectively control a specific population of dopamine cells in a part of the brain-reward system. Using this technique, we discovered distinct patterns of dopamine cell activation that seemed to be able to disrupt the alcohol-drinking behavior of the rats.”

Weiner said there is translational value from the study because “it gives us better insight into how we might want to use something like deep-brain stimulation to treat alcoholism. Doctors are starting to use deep-brain stimulation to treat everything from anxiety to depression, and while it works, there is little scientific understanding behind it, he said.

Budygin agreed and said this kind of project wouldn’t be possible without cross campus collaboration between neurobiology and anatomy, physiology and pharmacology and physics. "Now we are taking the first steps in this direction,” he said. “It was impossible before the optogenetic era.”

“Even little things like yesterday can be hard to leave behind, but carrying them with me is even harder”.

~ Lena Slaughter

A Brain Region for Resisting Alcohol’s Allure

As recovering spring breakers are regretting binge drinking escapades, it may be hard for them to appreciate that there is a positive side to the nausea, sleepiness, and stumbling. University of Utah neuroscientists report that when a region of the brain called the lateral habenula is chronically inactivated in rats, they repeatedly drink to excess and are less able to learn from the experience. The study, published online in PLOS ONE on April 2, has implications for understanding behaviors that drive alcohol addiction.

While complex societal pressures contribute to alcoholism, physiological factors are also to blame. Alcohol is a drug of abuse, earning its status because it tickles the reward system in the brain, triggering the release of feel-good neurotransmitters. The dreaded outcomes of overindulging serve the beneficial purpose of countering the pull of temptation, but little is understood about how those mechanisms are controlled.

U of U professor of neurobiology and anatomy Sharif Taha, Ph.D., and colleagues, tipped the balance that reigns in addictive behaviors by inactivating in rats a brain region called the lateral habenula. When the rats were given intermittent access to a solution of 20% alcohol over several weeks, they escalated their alcohol drinking more rapidly, and drank more heavily than control rats.

“In people, escalation of intake is what eventually separates a social drinker from someone who becomes an alcoholic,” said Taha. “These rats drink amounts that are quite substantial. Legally they would be drunk if they were driving.”

The lateral habenula is activated by bad experiences, suggesting that without this region the rats may drink more because they fail to learn from the negative outcomes of overindulging. The investigators tested the idea by giving the rats a desirable, sweet juice then injecting them with a dose of alcohol large enough to cause negative effects.

“It’s the same kind of learning that mediates your response in food poisoning. You taste something and then you get sick, and then of course you avoid that food in future meals,” explained Taha.

Yet rats with an inactivated lateral habenula sought out the juice more than control animals, even though it meant a repeat of the bad experience.

“The way I look at it is the rewarding effects of drinking alcohol compete with the aversive effects,” explained Andrew Haack, who is co-first author on the study with Chandni Sheth, both neuroscience graduate students. “When you take the aversive effects away, which is what we did when we inactivated the lateral habenula, the rewarding effects gain more purchase, and so it drives up drinking behavior.”

The group’s findings may help explain results from previous clinical investigations demonstrating that men who were less sensitive to the negative effects of alcohol drank more heavily, and were more likely to become problem drinkers later in life.

The researches think the lateral habenula likely works in one of two ways. The region may regulate how badly an individual feels after over-drinking. Alternatively, it may control how well an individual learns from their bad experience. Future work will resolve between the two.

“If we can understand the brain circuits that control sensitivity to alcohol’s aversive effects, then we can start to get a handle on who may become a problem drinker,” said Taha.

“Your imperfections make you unique. If changing them will make you a better person than work on that. If not, accept them with love and compassion and embrace who you are.”.

~ Lena Slaughter