• What she says: i'm fine
  • What she means: do you know how hard it must've been for Killian Jones to stop drinking and gambling in his pre-navy days? to claw out of the hole he was in? a man with so little self-worth would've literally drank himself to death and squandered every penny he had. a man with such supposed weakness in the face of darkness would've backslid right into drinking even after joining the navy, just as alcoholism affects jobs. a man with as much self-loathing as he had would've self-destructed and embraced every demon. but he didn't. he got his fucking act together during his time as Lt. Jones because his brother was his world and his light and his inspiration and his love and the source of hope for him. and then, that light DIED––due to machinations by the system that fucked them over in the first place. it wasn't just understandable for bright and starry-eyed Lt. Jones to fall so far after his brother's death. it was inevitable.
Masterlist for Sinners

Originally posted by natashasromanoff

Hi darlings! so as requested, here is my mobile masterlist!

thanks to @jcmesbuuckybarnes for the headers! 

MCU - The Avengers 

Bucky Barnes

1. The Perfect Picture

Warnings: Language, mentions of sex, adult themes.

Summary: Being an Avenger comes with it’s perks. Having Bucky Barnes as your texting buddy and meme competitor is number one on the list. It’s hard, burying your feelings for the complicated but lovable Winter Soldier while also being the spawn of Tony Stark. But somehow, it all works out. For everyone.

Excerpt: Known for being mischievous, it had become a tradition to tease your colleagues with memes you had collected from the Internet at absurd hours of the day. Overly-attached Girlfriend, Sarcastic Willy Wonka, The Strutting Leo, Kim Kardashian Ugly Sobbing, you had a gallery saved to your phone and delegated to each Avenger, though it made them grumble and cringe, they loved you nevertheless.

But out of all of the Avengers, though, you texted Bucky the most. 

2. Feel Again

Warnings: Language, Unprotected sex, hair play, angst, references to past psychological torture.

Summary: Bucky Barnes is as cold as the strange reflective metal that spills from his shoulder. That’s what he’s allowed himself to believe. And then she comes along with her soft, soft heart and paints a world of color within the walls of his grey, gloomy world. She draws over his scars with her nimble fingers. She makes him Feel Again.

Excerpt: You knew exactly what he wanted, you saw the words strung together in the depths of his inky pupils, those saddened blue eyes. After pulling the sheets back from your form, you laid on your back and welcomed him in with open arms, inviting him to crawl beneath the sheets and nestle onto your chest. Bucky did just that, taking your invitation and curling by your side, metal and flesh latching onto you with a grip of desperation. Your fingers snaked into his soft mop of hair and he relaxed into you, as though he were an instrument of nerves and you were gently strumming his strings.

He just needed someone to be there for him, someone who understood. You understood. It was why he would creep into your room, slip into your bed, and curl against you like a comma because he needed something to cling to when everything around him was an intangible web of lies.

3. Roses

Warnings: Language, unprotected sex, a little bit of angst.

Summary: It’s been a year. One year’s worth of Bucky Barnes and all his perfect flaws. All those edges that fit together so perfectly. Those imperfections that make him him. You love him unconditionally. And he proves to you on the night of your anniversary just how much he loves you too.

Excerpt: Bucky was not what most would call ‘the perfect boyfriend.’ Bucky is a hurricane. A storm of emotions, twisting your world into a whirlwind. He is the growl of thunder and the clash of lightening. He is howling winds and turbulent skies. Rain clouds follow him like shadows and soak him in crimson raindrops. Then again, you weren’t exactly the ‘perfect girlfriend’ either. And that is what made you perfect for each other. 

4. Stay

Warnings: Language, unprotected sex, shower sex, angst.

Summary: Fighting Bucky is like fighting yourself. He is both your lover and your worst enemy and you just want to release the scream threatening to tear your throat in half. Instead, you find yourself crying in the shower, droplets of water washing away your tears. And then he finds you. He heals you.

Excerpt: You fought as though you were stuck in a war zone that you never asked to fight in. But at the end of the day, regardless of the wounds inflicted by your exchange of sharp, bitter words, you always fell back into his bed and allowed him to heal you…Sometimes, he held you like he was trying to merge your souls together. Other times, he pushed you away and kept you in the dark. You stumbled in the shadows that he kept you in, but you always came back for more.

Peter Parker

1. Just the Way You Are

Warnings: Language, Insecure reader

Summary: If there was one thing you weren’t, it was jealous. But when your Spider boyfriend decides to ogle at a pretty upperclassman, prancing around in pretty little clothes, you can’t help but feel a little jealous and a little insecure about your plain Jane appearance. That is when you conceive a plan, a plan that has a devastating effect.

Excerpt: You were not the jealous type, you never had been. And you were determined not to become the overly clingy girlfriend who demanded daily worshipping, the paranoid attachment that needed consolation by scrolling through her boyfriend’s contact list. No you were definitely not that type of girlfriend. But when your best friend of 10 years and boyfriend of two months ogles at a much prettier upperclassman, it makes the insecurity itch beneath your skin and the jealousy boil in your veins.

Steve Rogers

1. Close to You

Warnings: Unprotected Sex, Angst, Language

Summary: Being Steve Roger’s girlfriend was more complicated than it looked. While the world saw him as Captain America, the inspiring symbol of the nation, you saw him as the old soul dwelling inside the body of a young man, struggling with loss and PTSD. You had stood beside Steve’s shield, united by love. But when the Civil War struck, you stood as his enemy, divided from your lover.

Excerpt: His mind was a battlefield, littered with sharp shrapnel and stained with blood. But he wore his bravery like his shield, confident and calm and always self-sacrificing. When he wasn’t on a mission, his mind was at war with itself, always fighting against the skeletons in his skull. But he always considered everyone else’s needs before his own. He was so complicated, in ways that no one else could even begin to understand, yet he hid his wounds so well, cast them beneath the shadow of his reassuring smile whenever he gave warm comfort to others.

War had woven itself through his veins; the battle always streamed through his blood like rivers that meet an ocean of red. But now, he holds you like his sweetest surrender because he is a soldier but he is also a shattered shield. He’s close to you now. And he never wants to leave you again.

MCU: Real Person Fiction

Chris Evans

1. The Sweetest Devotion

Warnings: Language, Unprotected sex.

Summary: It’s Chris’s birthday and the pressure is on. Not only because you want to treat your man to the best birthday ever, but also because this was the first birthday you would share with him.

Excerpt: Chris Evans is a lot of things to a lot of people. And over these past eleven months, you have grown to love him as all of those roles and more, especially when he treats you like a goddess and worships you in the bedroom. But that was beside the point, because love, love in its entirety conquers all.

And you are 12749373028274930109% certain that you are in love with Chris Evans.

Sebastian Stan

1. Hold On, We’re Going Home x

Warnings: Smut, Unprotected sex, Oral sex, Mild Language.

Summary: You never wanted to be here. Never wanted to leave your couch behind with your fluffy cat sleeping ontop of it. Never wanted to slip into a short, black dress that revealed more than you felt comfortable with. Never wanted to be in this club with your friends, who were far too occupied with each other lips to give a shit about you. But, here you were. Until he comes along and makes all of this worth it. Or: That time when you start the night as a third wheel and end as something else… ;)


Third Wheel


The unfortunate soul who is dragged out of their cozy, New York apartment and forced to socialize with sweaty, drunken strangers in a club while the two people who pushed them into the situation are comfortably tucked away into a corner and sucking their lips off in a passionate make out session.

Then he comes along. And suddenly you’re the one ditching your friends to explore New York City with Sebastian Stan on your arm.

2. I Hate You, I Love You x

Warnings: Smut, Language, Implied/Referenced Alcoholism, Angst.

Summary: You had sworn to yourself a very long time ago that you wouldn’t let yourself fall the way you had when you were with him. You had every intention in keeping that promise so that you wouldn’t have to feel the pain that drowned you when he had left. That is, until you have to work with him. And all those feelings return to hurt you.

Or: That time you had to star in a film with your ex, Sebastian Stan, and some feels are revealed in the process.

Excerpt: You were sure that if you and he were the last people on earth and you were on fire, you would rather burn than let him extinguish the flames. A hatred for him took deep roots in your heart and weeds grew through the holes he had left behind. It was a very rough break up. The type that Hollywood wants to wring like a blood-soaked towel until it was dry and flaky.

And now, you had to star in a film with him.


How Deep is Your Love x

Warnings: Mild Language, Alcoholism, References to a past abusive relationship.

Summary: Love is a war-zone. There are land mines embedded beneath it’s soil of deception. It leaves scars that run like canyons in your soul. And you’ve fought enough battles. Until he comes into your life and shows you that the only war you’re fighting is one against yourself.

Or: that time when Sebastian Stan tries to woo you on several occasions and you, you stubborn little cinnamon roll, won’t allow yourself to fall in love. Cue rose petals and boom boxes.

Excerpt: The first time you met Sebastian Stan, you had no idea who he was. He was just a stranger in a crowd of faces, invited to your best friend’s wedding. A wedding that made your love life feel ridiculously barren and worthless.

After crawling out of a war-zone of a relationship, you had made a promise to yourself that you would never let another man hurt you in the way that your ex had. Too many tears were shed into soaked pillows over a man who wasn’t worth the pain that followed you like a shadow. So with alcohol flooding your veins, you decided that you would live the solo life, that you would soldier on as your own hero.

And that was going fine. Until the wedding.

Until him

When You Really Love a Woman x

Warnings: Mild Language

Summary: Sebastian Stan is usually the smooth one. He charms the crowds with his smile, his bright blue eyes and husky voice. And that hair that makes you wanna rake your fingers through it and tug tightly on each chocolate thread. But tonight, he finds himself stumbling over his words as though he were a teenage boy again. And it’s all because of you

Excerpt: At the slightest mention of your name, he feels a fluttering in his chest, like the wings of a million butterflies beating against his rib cage. He felt like a lovesick puppy, doting over a woman he had only met in his dreams of you, that he had only seen when you danced across the screen and into his heart.

He had no idea what was coming for him.

Into You x

Warnings: Unprotected Sex, Mild Language.

Summary: Crushing on your co-stars was dangerous, in a way. It made it increasingly difficult to concentrate on anything other than crushing your lips against his in a passionate make-out session. It’s worse when you actually do have to kiss your co-star in a passionate make-out session, for the sake of the movies plot and not because it was in the heat of passionate lust.

Or: that time you had a heated, onscreen kiss with Sebastian Stan and the rest of the cast highkey ship the two of you together because of it.

Excerpt: You realise that your crush on your co-star, Sebastian Stan, was blossoming into something else when you kissed him for the first time. The force of the emotions that had thrived in your ribcage since the night you met him at one of the Russo’s cast dinners had blown you away. With a single kiss, you feel yourself collapse into the feelings that held your heart hostage.

You feel like the luckiest girl in the world. And, well, you are.

Thinking Out Loud x

Warnings: None. Just fluffy stuff :)

Summary: Sebastian Stan never thought he’d fall in love. But he never thought he’d meet someone as amazing as you. There weren’t any words in the English, German and Romanian dictionary to describe you, and as far as he was concerned, there never would be. Because you’re indescrible. And the only words his mind and heart can summon are three small ones, strung together and whispered in a way that shocked the both of you. 

Or: That time Sebby has something very special to say while you’re watching TV.

Excerpt: He is in love with you, the you that only he gets to see; the you that is shy and sweet and soft. While he wholeheartedly believes that you are an exquisite creature of beauty, humor and intelligence, Sebastian loves what blossoms beneath the surface of your charming Hollywood façade.

No one said a damn thing. And yet some part of him knew all along and fell in love with you regardless.

Touch x

Warnings:  Language, Mild Alcoholism, and last, but most definitely not least: Unprotected SMUTTTTTTTTT (Wrap it before you tap it peeps!)

Summary: It had been a while since you had a good lay. In fact, it had been exactly a year. The last time had been with a certain, Romanian actor who’s touch still ghosted over you, who’s eyes still haunted you in your sleep. Alas, you had thrown all that potential away when you had decided to place your professionalism before your love life. And now, you were desperate for release.

Or: That time you’re in the hotel room next to Seb’s and things get a little heated one night when you cant sleep

Excerpt: You cursed yourself under your breath as you glared at the glowing red numbers taunting you with the time. You had been restless for hours now, tossing and turning between the crisp, Egyptian sheets that marinated you in your own frustration. You knew who the source of your insomnia was and you grumbled, burying your face in your pillows as you felt the heat rise through your body.

Sebastian fucking Stan.

Earned It x

Warnings: Smut, kinky shit, Daddy!Seb, Dirty talk, oral sex (Seb receiving), Vaginal fingering, masturbation, Unprotected sex (don’t be silly, wrap that willy!), A little bit rough?, Swearing and…I think thats it.

Summary: It’s Sebastian’s Birthday and you can’t think of a better gift to give him other than his biggest sex kinks that reward the both of you.

Excerpt: Now that it was his birthday, you were determined to please him in every way you knew he would enjoy. So you turned his bedroom into a church for lustrous sin, a cathedral where you would worship him instead of him worshiping you.

‘Brokenhearted’ Drabble

Requested by @deafeningcatphilosopher: Umm how about brokenhearted by karmin?

Summary: You had a wonderful time with James Buchanan Barnes, but he hasn’t called you back yet.

Pairing: 40′s Bucky Barnes x Reader

Words: 1667

This is more than the typical kinda thing

Felt the jones in my bones when you were touching me, uh oh

Didn’t wanna take it slow

“Why haven’t I seen you around before?” you heard a sultry voice call to you. Oh come on, you thought. You were at a bar, getting you and your friends drinks, and the last thing you wanted was to be hit on. With rejection on your mind, you turned to see a handsome brunette with a charming smile and a well-defined jawline. He was almost too perfect to be true.

You motioned to your group of friends who were sitting at a booth across the room. “My friend just turned 18 today. Youngest of the group, so this is our first time going to a bar together,” you stated.

“So you never gone to a bar before?” he questioned. You shook your head no, a small smile on your lips.

“Dancing?” he asked inquisitively.

You quirked your lips, then smiled again. “Nope,” you simply stated.

“Well,” he informed. “you have not lived yet.” Your eyebrows rose in confusion. “That’s it,” he continued, slapping his hand in the counter. “We’re going dancing.”

You laughed open-heartingly. “I don’t even know your name,” you accused.

“James Buchanan Barnes, but you can call me Bucky,” he introduced, lifting a hand.

“Y/N L/N, but you can just call me Y/N,” you responded, raising your hand to meet his.

He laughed at your response. He asked, “So are we going dancing, Y/N?”

“I’ll have to ask my friends,” you explained. Usually, you wouldn’t do this. Usually, you would just roll your eyes and head back to your friends, but something about Bucky made you want to stay.

You walked to your group of friends. “Y/F/N, I’m going to bounce. This guy just offered to take me dancing,” you informed.

“What?” she exclaimed. “And who caught your eye? This is so unlike you.”

You motioned to Bucky who was still standing by the bar, watching you and your friends.

“You owe me big time,” Y/F/N demanded with a smile.

“Thanks Y/F/N!” you said. “You’re the best. Have a great birthday. I’ll see you guys around.” You headed back towards Bucky.

Keep reading


Originally posted by linheys

character: Yoongi x Y/n 

dedicated to : @jamlessvanny for all the torture she gives me 

genre: angst , hints of smut , and fluff at the end ?? idk 

description : You were his already and if giving him your body made him yours then so be it 



Scared my love, you’ll go

Spend my love, heart broke

How did it turn to this? A simple night of lust and alcohol had turned to your constant heart break.You gave him all of you, your thoughts were his , just as your body. You shouldn’t have fallen for a member of bangtan, you were just one of the many workers for the company. No matter how much you gave you ended broken. Yoongi was everything you wanted but also everything you couldn’t have. It was innocent night, but a night out with the guys and co worker that had lead to an endless night of confessing your love you had held for him and as he kissed every inch of your pure body tainting it with his lust he held. He hadn’t confessed but just mumbled a ‘me too’ into your neck, but when the morning sun light passed through the hotels curtains and his warmth not found besides you you knew you had spend your love for a broken heart.

So my love don’t show

Scared my love, you’ll go

You refused all calls the boy had made trying to reach you, what had yoongi told them of that night. God you felt stupid, used, disgusted. As you tried to wash away his touch he had left. Scrubbing away, hoping the marks he had left claiming you as “his” he said. You began to cry. Remembering it all over again.

“Mine.” Yoongi repeated over and over as he placed marks on the skin your dress had failed to cover. “Got it.” Yoongi bit down your shoulder. And what you said next drove him insane, “prove it”

You made sure to prevent any way of seeing him. You hoped to let this die down, to get over it. You were scared of him leaving you behind as a night of the past.

You were scared that if he showed up in front of you,

he would walk away.

Keep reading

2 years 3 months 5 days

On Moderation:

Moderation doesn’t work for me.  I can’t do it.  It’s a fact.  a lot of people struggle with this.  I can’t do it with certain foods.. I can’t do it with booze.  Once I accepted this, it became a lot easier… no more struggles to try … just not drinking.  done.. no what if.

I’m doing a little sugar detox.  I noticed it’s a lot easier for me to say no completely then to just a little.  it makes me think about a lot of things in my life… I’m pretty binary.. I’m all in, or all out.. if I do things half assed, I crash and burn.

I learn new things about myself everyday… it makes life interesting.


When the United States entered World War II, Prohibition had been repealed for a decade, but attitudes about alcohol remained divided.

In 1943, the authors of “Alcohol—Hitler’s Best Friend, America’s Worst Enemy,“ petitioned Congress for a return to Prohibition. The authors claimed that alcohol and women were to blame for the downfall of France. They also argued that Japanese saloon keepers provided free liquor for servicemen at the time of the Pearl Harbor attack.

The brewing industry, however, had an entirely different take on matters. This 1944 advertisement from the Brewing Industry Foundation suggested that the very least the nation could do for the loyal soldier returning home was to have the “little things” waiting—including a refreshing, “friendly” beer. Instead of equating alcohol with foreign saloonkeepers, this advertisement linked beer consumption with patriotism.

Want to learn more about the relationship between the American people and alcohol consumption during wartime? Visit “Spirited Republic” on display through January 10, 2016.

Or, read more in our blog post: