alben w

I’m gonna tell you all of my secrets. [takes out a piece of paper] I once forget to brush my teeth for five weeks. I didn’t actually sell my last broom, I just forgot where I put it. I don’t know who Alben W. Barkley is, and at this point, I’m too afraid to ask. When they say 2% milk, I don’t know what the other 98% is. When I was a baby, my head was so big, healers did experiments on me. I once threw beer at a swan, and then it attacked my cousin, Andromeda.
—  Sirius trying to apologize to Remus for accidentally tipping Snape off about his “furry little problem”
Vice Presidential Birthdays: a Masterpost nobody cares about
  1. Walter Mondale, January 5th
  2. Millard Fillmore, January 7th
  3. Richard Nixon, January 9th
  4. John C. Breckinridge, January 16th
  5. Charles Curtis, January 25th
  6. Dick Cheney, January 30th
  7. Dan Quayle, February 4th
  8. Aaron Burr, February 6th
  9. Henry Wilson, February 16th
  10. Thomas R. Marshall, March 14th
  11. John C. Calhoun, March 18th
  12. Schuyler Colfax, March 23rd
  13. John Tyler, March 29th
  14. Al Gore, March 31st
  15. William R. King, April 7th
  16. Thomas Jefferson, April 13th
  17. Harry S. Truman, May 8th
  18. Charles W. Fairbanks, May 11th
  19. Levi P. Morton, May 16th
  20. Hubert Humphrey, May 27th
  21. Garret Hobart, Jun 3rd
  22. George H. W. Bush, Jun 12th
  23. Daniel D. Tompkins, Jun 21st
  24. William A. Wheeler, Jun 30th
  25. Calvin Coolidge, July 4th
  26. Nelson Rockefeller, July 8th
  27. George M. Dallas, July 10th
  28. Gerald Ford, July 14th
  29. Elbridge Gerry, July 17th
  30. George Clinton, July 26th
  31. Hannibal Hamlin, August 27th
  32. Charles G. Dawes, August 27th
  33. Lyndon B. Johnson, August 27th
  34. Thomas A. Hendricks, September 7th
  35. Chester A. Arthur, October 5th
  36. Henry A. Wallace, October 7th
  37. Richard M. Johnson, October 17th
  38. Adlai E. Stevenson, October 23rd
  39. James S. Sherman, October 24th
  40. Theodore Roosevelt, October 27th
  41. John Adams, October 30th
  42. Spiro Agnew, November 9th
  43. Joe Biden, November 20th
  44. John N. Garner, November 22nd
  45. Alben W. Barkley, November 24th
  46. Martin Van Buren, December 5th
  47. Andrew Johnson, December 29th
Grumpy Old Men

Today, George H.W. Bush became just the 3rd American President in history to reach the age of 91 and is closing in on becoming the longest-living President. Bush will pass Gerald Ford as the longest-living President if he lives until November 25, 2017.

Longest-living Presidents
Gerald Ford—93 years, 165 days
Ronald Reagan—93 years, 120 days
George H.W. Bush— 91 years, 0 days [Still living as of June 12, 2015]
Jimmy Carter —90 years, 254 days [Still living as of June 12, 2015]
John Adams—90 years, 247 days
Herbert Hoover—90 years, 71 days
Harry S. Truman—88 years, 232 days
James Madison—85 years, 104 days
Thomas Jefferson— 83 years, 82 days
Richard Nixon—81 years, 103 days
John Quincy Adams—80 years, 227 days
Martin Van Buren—79 years, 231 days
Dwight D. Eisenhower—78 years, 165 days
Andrew Jackson—78 years, 85 days
James Buchanan—77 years, 39 days
Millard Fillmore—74 years, 60 days
James Monroe—73 years, 67 days
William Howard Taft—72 years, 174 days
John Tyler— 71 years, 295 days
Grover Cleveland—71 years, 98 days
Rutherford B. Hayes—70 year, 105 days
George W. Bush—68 years, 341 days [Still living as of June 12, 2015]
Bill Clinton—68 years, 297 days [Still living as of June 12, 2015]
William Henry Harrison—68 years, 52 days
George Washington—67 years, 295 days
Woodrow Wilson—67 years, 37 days
Benjamin Harrison—67 years, 205 days
Andrew Johnson—66 years, 214 days
Zachary Taylor—65 years, 227 days
Franklin Pierce—64 years, 319 days
Lyndon B. Johnson—64 years, 148 days
Ulysses S. Grant—63 years, 87 days
Franklin D. Roosevelt—63 years, 72 days
Calvin Coolidge—60 years, 185 days
Theodore Roosevelt—60 years, 71 days
William McKinley—58 years, 228 days [Assassinated]
Warren G. Harding—57 years, 273 days
Chester Arthur—57 years, 44 days
Abraham Lincoln—56 years, 62 days [Assassinated]
Barack Obama—53 years, 312 days [Still living as of June 12, 2015]
James K. Polk—53 years, 225 days
James Garfield—49 years, 304 days [Assassinated]
John F. Kennedy—46 years, 177 days [Assassinated]

Of course, Bush also served as Vice President, but it’ll take longer to break the record of the longest-living Vice President, John Nance Garner, who died just two weeks short of his 99th birthday.

Longest-living Vice Presidents
John Nance Garner…98 years, 351 days
Levi P. Morton…96 years, 0 days
Gerald Ford…93 years, 165 days
George H.W. Bush…91 years [Still living as of June 12, 2015]
John Adams…90 years, 247 days
Harry S. Truman…88 years, 232 days
Walter Mondale…87 years, 158 days [Still living as of June 12, 2015]
Charles G. Dawes…85 years, 239 days
Thomas Jefferson…83 years, 82 days
Hannibal Hamlin…81 years, 311 days
Richard Nixon…81 years, 104 days
Aaron Burr…80 years, 82 days
Martin Van Buren…79 years, 231 days
Adlai E. Stevenson…78 years, 234 days
Alben W. Barkley…78 years, 157 days
Spiro Agnew…77 years, 261 days
Henry A. Wallace…77 years, 42 days
Charles Curtis…76 years, 14 days
Dick Cheney…74 years, 133 days [Still living as of June 12, 2015]
Millard Fillmore…74 years, 60 days
George Clinton…72 years, 268 days
Joe Biden…72 years, 204 days [Still living as of June 12, 2015]
George M. Dallas…72 years, 174 days
John Tyler…71 years, 295 days
Thomas Riley Marshall…71 years, 79 days
Alexander H. Stephens …71 years, 21 days (CSA)
Nelson Rockefeller…70 years, 202 days
Elbridge Gerry…70 years, 129 days
Richard M. Johnson…70 years, 33 days
Dan Quayle…68 years, 128 days [Still living as of June 12, 2015]
John C. Calhoun…68 years, 13 days
William A. Wheeler…67 years, 339 days
Al Gore…67 years, 74 days [Still living as of June 12, 2015]
William R.D. King…67 years, 11 days
Hubert H. Humphrey…66 years, 231 days
Andrew Johnson…66 years, 214 days
Thomas A. Hendricks…66 years, 79 days
Charles W. Fairbanks…66 years, 24 days
Lyndon B. Johnson…64 years, 148 days
Henry Wilson…63 years, 279 days
Schuyler Colfax…61 years, 296 days
Calvin Coolidge…60 years, 185 days
Theodore Roosevelt…60 years, 71 days
Chester Arthur…57 years, 44 days
James S. Sherman…57 years, 6 days
Garret A. Hobart…55 years, 171 days
John C. Breckinridge…54 years, 116 days
Daniel D. Tompkins…50 years, 355 days