alatar the blue


They were clothed in the bodies of old men, restricting their powers so that they would only assist to the peoples of Middle-earth and not seek domination like Sauron, who was also a Maia. By inhabiting the bodies of Men they were ordered by the Valar to assist the people of Middle-earth through persuasion and encouragement, not force or fear. Being clothed in the bodies of Men they also became susceptible to all the weaknesses of a physical body, they felt hunger, pain, greed, sorrow, joy, and all other emotions and pains of Men.

(..Previously on ‘Aman Shore’..)

Gandalf: Get ready, Radagast. We are going to Endor.

Radagast: Saruman as well?

Gandalf: Of course. Not the Blue Wizards, Alatar and Pallando.

Radagast: You are grey, Saruman is white, I am Brown and there are two blue wizards. Did we run out of colors?

Gandalf: Well, no, Pallando is more of an aquamarine.

Radagast: That is the dumbest thing I have ever heard.

Gandalf: Why are you making sense?

The blue wizards, Alatar and Pallando.

My headcanon likes them corrupted and dark better, as in the earlier version of their story.

“What success they had I do not know; but I fear that they failed, as Saruman did, though doubtless in different ways; and I suspect they were founders or beginners of secret cults and ‘magic’ traditions that outlasted the fall of Sauron.”

- J.R.R. Tolkien


A member of the Istari, demigod guardians recently dispatched to Middle-earth, has just flouted the strict dress code by which ordinary citizens could recognize the do-gooders.

“White is bland, and boring, and inescapably infused with associations of lawful good,” said the wizard Saruman, née Curumo, in a prepared statement. “I refuse to be bound by the strictures of a single hue any longer, and from this day forward you shall refer to me only as *drumroll* Saruman of Many Colors!”

The original parchment was enchanted with an actual drumroll for dramatic effect.

In making this statement, Saruman breaks with a long-held tradition that the leader of this immortal boy-band wears white, the backup vocalists wear gray and/or brown, and the session musicians wear blue. Instead, his trademark white wardrobe has been replaced with glowstick-studded robes that flash different colors as Saruman moves, dizzying audiences.

Sources hypothesize that in-fighting among the group itself might have prompted this surprising move. Other band members include Gandalf the Grey, formerly a Maia of Manwë and Varda; Radagast the Brown, formerly a Maia of Yavanna; and Alatar and Pallando the Variously Blue, formerly Maiar of Oromë. Of these four, only Radagast could be reached for comment; Gandalf is the focus of a current missing persons case, and Alatar and Pallando disappeared in pursuit of groupies several hundred years ago.

“He did what, now?” Radagast said when asked. “Oh, that’s actually pretty smart. Many animals adopt different colors in response to different seasons or environments, you know; it’s a camouflage technique! And I’ve told Curumo many times that his white robes really don’t match that whole black-on-black-on-black aesthetic he has going on at Isengard. I’m so happy he’s finally listening to me!”

Back in Valinor, Aule of the Valar is being investigated, as Saruman is the second of his Maiar to fall from grace. The first was Mairon, now better known as the Sauron whom the Istari were sent to oppose.

“Look, I don’t know,” Aulë said. “These kinds of things just happen around here, sometimes – it’s one of the risks associated with a creative atmosphere. Remember the Dwarves, though? At least that turned out pretty well, right?”

The Vala is referring to his slapdash creation of the Khazad, which Eru Ilúvatar only sanctioned following some serious groveling.

The sign outside Aulë’s forge in Valinor has been reset to “0 Days Since The Last Incident.”

EDIT: thanks to reader @fantasychica37 for the request!!

Sometimes I amuse myself with imagining conversations like these...

All right, so you guys know how Gandalf is like, “All wizards should have a hobbit or two in their care…” and I can imagine him spreading this like gospel to his fellow wizards, right?

And Saruman is like, “Meh.  I have myself a Wormtongue.”

In which case, everyone is like Ewww!

And Radagast is like, “I love my hedgehogs, please and thank you.”

And okay, nobody wants to argue with that, because hedgehogs are AWESOME, please and thank you.

Then, Alatar the Blue is like, “Guys, guys, I have a Stark.”

Gandalf’s response is, “Dude, you’re in the wrong world, winter is NOT coming, no WONDER I have to do all this shit alone in Middle Earth, COME THE FUCK BACK TO THE RIGHT UNIVERSE, YOU ASSHOLE.”

“No, not the "winter is coming” Starks - I’m talking about TONY STARK.  He’s an obnoxious pain in the ass but he’s a SMART, ADORABLE obnoxious pain in the ass and he’s gonna do some AWESOME things, even when he fucks up sometimes.  So give the guy a break, let him chill out with your dwarf buddies, okay?“

And Gandalf is like just ready to pull his beard out because OMG TONY STARK AND DWARVES, AULE HAVE MERCY ON ALL OUR SOULS. 

So finally, Pallando the Blue, who’s really one of Gandalf’s best bros, takes him aside and says, "Dude, I have hobbits.”

And he introduces Gandalf to Bitty Steve Rogers a.k.a. the Tiny Dandelion Floof with the Righteous Fists of Fury. 

And Gandalf is charmed.  But he’s also aghast.  Because he knows hobbits, even descendants of Numenorean kings reborn as hobbits, and he knows exactly which Hobbit clan Steve Rogers belongs to.

“Buddy, that’s a Took.”

“I know, right?  Isn’t he adorable?”

Are you out of your cotton picking blue mind?  A pure Took is a walking Hobbit disaster!  Look at Pippin!  That’s why I picked Bagginses with a dash of Took in them for doing things like flinging accursed objects of power into volcanoes!  Bagginses don’t wake up goblin armies or fool around with palantirs!”

Pallando a.k.a. Abraham Erskine rolls his eyes at him.  “Pippin Took is one of your favorites, don’t give me that bullshit, yo.  Also, young Steven’s got a heart of gold and look, he’s not alone.  He’s married to a Baggins.”

And then, Dr. Erskine introduces Gandalf to Bucky Baggins…. er…. Barnes. 

Histories of Middle Earth: the Blue Wizards

Darkness-Slayer and East-Helper, the Ithryn Luin

…they went as emissaries to distant regions, East and South, far out of Numenorean range: missionaries to ‘enemy-occupied’ lands, as it were … they failed, as Saruman did, though doubtless in different ways; and … were founders or beginners of secret cults and 'magic’ traditions that outlasted the fall of Sauron.


Even as I write this I know that people in Arina have forgotten almost everything about them. It is plain to me. I would talk to my father about all the silver they had paid us and he would be puzzled, like he did not know where it had all come from. I would ask the innkeeper, Arafat, about them, only to see him struggle to remember. “They slept for three days here, right? I didn’t talk to them too much,” he would tell me, then quickly change the subject to something more mundane.

They had, in fact, slept in his inn for months.

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