alaska-thunderfuck

Mean Queens Ch.20 (Group Fic) - NymphCAMP

Nymph’s A/N: love to you all, apart from everyone who’s said im killing katlaska xoxo

Wankles of Wankledom’s A/N: to anyone who doesnt know IM PURECAMP NYMPH IS JUST A DICK and i hope u enjoy this is fun and i love it <3 also sending love to wick whose birthday has just gone!! consider this a late gift xx

“It’s too early to be awake.” Sharon groaned, leaning her head forward so it rested against the dashboard of Alaska’s car.

In the backseat, Violet narrowed her eyes. “You’re telling me?”

Alaska started to laugh at the three zombies invading her car. Violet’s notorious hatred of mornings reared its ugly head every day, Sharon’s ability to complain about anything and everything still hadn’t failed her, and Katya, well - she was snoozing in the back. Bright-eyed and bushy-tailed as usual, Alaska simply shrugged.

“You guys are such downers, I can’t believe you.” She rolled her eyes, shifting one hand away from the steering wheel to rest on Sharon’s thigh.

“Fuck off,” Came Sharon’s response. “You’ve just spent fucking forever with Courtney Act. We’re not downers, she’s an upper. She’s what happens if you mix antidepressants, Ritalin and LSD.”

Violet snorted. “And you’d know all about that combination, wouldn’t you?”

Sharon simply raised her middle finger and slumped further down into her seat. “Del fucking Taco is gonna murder me today because I didn’t do her essay and my skirt’s too short. I’m so not ready for today to start.”

“Look on the bright side!” Alaska reasoned, squeezing Sharon’s thigh and grinning when she breathed in sharply. “Katya isn’t even ready for yesterday to be over.”

Sharon hummed. “I’m gonna skip it and smoke.”

“Fucking knew you’d say that.”

“Zip it, Chachki. Go cram your opinions back into your corset.”

Despite the harshness of her words, Sharon was actually feeling unequivocally lighter than she had in a long, long time. Sure, Ms Del Rio was a demon she was fully unprepared to tackle - and she really would be skipping just to get away from her irritating vocals - and sure, she’d been woken up far too early by cold hands and cold feet, but she didn’t mind. Because the cold hands and cold feet were Alaska’s, and the cold feet were pressed against her legs and the cold hands were underneath her nightie, one resting on her ribs and one just beneath her stomach. Because she wasn’t prodded awake by Violet reluctantly reminding her that they had school, but by Alaska cuddling into her for extra warmth.

Still, it was dread and fear that encased her chest once they shook Katya awake and stepped out of the safe bubble of Alaska’s car into the school car park. She was renewed knowing she had the support of her best friends and her girlfriend behind her once again, but her eyes still travelled to all the license plates she knew to avoid when walking home alone. The license plates of other students who liked to yell lewd, crude things at her when she was at her most vulnerable, and liked to slow down next to her to offer a ride and ‘a night that’d turn her straight’.

“I gotta go to my locker…” Katya announced in a dreamlike voice, before sleepily wandering off into the main school building and leaving the three Mean Queens in their original trio.

“At least we have English first period?” Alaska tried to lighten the mood once again. “Mrs Davis will be thrilled to see us talking again.”

Violet nodded thoughtfully. “She’s the only teacher that I don’t mind seeing first thing on a Monday morning. Which says a lot.”

“Vi, you don’t even like me on a Monday morning.” Sharon countered.

“I don’t like you ever.” She shot back.

“I have far too much to do today for you two to be bickering already,” Alaska interjected, swinging her bag onto her shoulder and marching off across the parking lot. She’d dealt with too many of Sharon and Violet’s petty arguments by now to want anything to do with them, and she knew the pair of them would drop it and follow her.

Sure enough, the sound of clacking high heels drew alongside her, and without even looking Alaska slipped her arm through Sharon’s and rested her hand lightly on the crook of Sharon’s elbow.

“You ready?” She asked softly, glancing over at Sharon. Anyone who didn’t know her would mistake her strutting walk and arrogant tilt of the chin for confidence,  but Alaska knew better. She could tell how nervous and anxious Sharon was from the small lines around the edges of her eyes, and the clench of her jaw, and she vowed not to leave Sharon’s side all day. No matter what anyone said.

Sharon nodded tightly. “It’s going to be no different to any other day since it all happened,” she said reasonably. Alaska bit her lip.

“You’re right,” she replied, mind flashing back through the past few weeks, but before she could think too much about it, Sharon had spoken again.

“I’m just glad I have you now,” she said, her tone uncharacteristically soft.

It was probably ridiculous how much stronger she felt with Alaska back at her side. None of the insults and jeering taunts mattered now she had her entire world back at her side. Alaska smiled slightly, her fingers gripping tighter to Sharon’s arm as they drew nearer the school. She could almost feel the hostility the majority of the school still felt for them, but she knew they could get through it together.

******************************************************

“Now can you discuss the context of the poem in your groups, make notes on what the poet’s intention was, and pick out any language or structural features that help emphasise the poet’s point.”

One great thing about Mrs Davis’ lessons was that almost everyone was free to think and discuss and work together, collaborating on ideas so that everybody could get the bigger picture. Unfortunately, that meant that when her back was turned, it was easy to get away with murder. Or just doing things that had absolutely nothing to do with William Blake, and Mrs Davis was none the wiser.

It started as just bits of paper, wadded up and flicked in their general direction, which Sharon tried to ignore.  

“I don’t know, do you think that - ugh -  maybe he’s making a point about - ow!”

The unintentionally loud “ow!” was preceded by a sharp smacking sound, in which a wooden rubber from the back of the classroom was fired with the precision of an athlete straight into the back of her neck.

“Oh, fuck you!” Violet glared at the offending jock as all three girls turned around in unison, Sharon rubbing where she’d been struck and Alaska’s eyes blazing with fury.

“You really took the time to write dyke on this thing?” Violet continued, lobbing it as hard as she could back at him. “You didn’t even spell it right, dipshit. It has a ‘y’ in it.”

“As in, why the fuck do you care?!” Alaska butted in, before biting her lip. “Just, whatever. What has she ever done to you?”

Sharon was the first to turn around. “Don’t bother engaging, it never works. Let’s just carry on. Blake isn’t going to analyse himself.”

The remaining two Mean Queens reluctantly turned away too, Alaska shuffling her chair even closer to Sharon so that their legs were blatantly touching.

“I don’t wanna talk about fucking poetry. I wanna get shit resolved.” Violet slapped her exercise book onto the desk, pulling a face at the unexpectedly loud noise it made. “Oops.”

Sharon frowned, confused. “Shit is resolved. Pretty sure that’s why we’re not all strangling each other right now.”  

“Not everything.”

All it took was one glance between Alaska and Violet for the other girl to catch on to what she meant. “Oh! Yeah. We need to fix that.”

Sharon blinked. “Why are you looking at me? What did I do now?”

Violet rolled her eyes. “You’re supposed to be the smart one! Trixie, that’s what.”

“Woah.” Sharon held her hands up. “I didn’t do Trixie. That’s not my thing. She’s too muc -”

“You upset her.” Alaska stopped her mid-sentence. “The Shade Book? She kind of hates Katya because she thinks that Katya wrote all that shit about her.”

“Well then, she’s more stupid than I thought she was,” Sharon said, not wanting to back down and admit that she was in the wrong.


Alaska rolled her eyes in Sharon’s direction.

“I know you don’t mean that. You like Trixie, Katya is your friend, and if they don’t end up happily ever after it’s your fault for releasing the book and making it look like the three of us had written it. Katya won’t ask you to do anything because she’s still feeling guilty, but you have to put this right.”

Alaska’s voice held a stern note to it that Sharon had never heard before, and she knew there was no way she could back out of this without upsetting Alaska and potentially putting their relationship in jeopardy once more.

“Fine, fine. I’ll apolo- I’ll speak to her and tell her none of it was Katya and she can punch me in the face instead,” Sharon said, her heart fluttering at the sight of the immediate grin that spread over Alaska’s face.

“I knew you’d do the right thing in the end,” Alaska said softly, pressing a gentle kiss to Sharon’s lips and sticking her middle finger up in the general direction of the wolf whistles coming from the back of the classroom. Sharon tried to linger, and pouted when Alaska pulled away.

“You have too much faith in me,” Sharon said quietly, before a grin of her own spread across her face as an idea came to her. “Can I choose how to apologise?”

“Sure, sure. Whatever you want, as long as you do it,” Alaska replied, turning back to her exercise book and staring blankly down at the poem they’d been given to analyse. The words meant absolutely nothing to her, and Alaska snuck a glance over at Sharon. “Uh, could you also do the work for me?” she asked, batting her long eyelashes in Sharon’s general direction.

Violet tried to hide a smirk as Sharon sighed, and pulled Alaska’s sheet closer to her. How Alaska hadn’t failed her classes without Sharon around she’d never quite know.

*********************************************

Alaska had spent the last five minutes searching for Sharon before she bumped into Violet, who it turned out was on the same mission. They’d checked the cafeteria, the girl’s bathrooms, Mrs Davis’ classroom, behind the bike sheds - and whilst telltale cigarette butts were left there, no Sharon appeared.

“You’d think she’d be able to manage one lesson without pissing off a teacher so much that they keep her behind.” Violet joked, half-serious. “Fucking menace.”

Alaska giggled. “Same old Sharon though, isn’t it. She’s like Snickers!”

Violet stopped walking. “What the fuck?!” She managed, before bursting into laughter.

“Let me explain!” Alaska hurried. “I mean, like, it says that you’re not you when you’re hungry - Sharon’s not Sharon when she’s not in trouble!”

Several seconds of uncontrollable snorting passed. “I forgot how stupid you are…I’ve fucking missed it. The pair of you are both so stu-”

The intercom rustled.

IS THIS FUCKER WORKING?

In the corridor, everyone fell silent, looking up as though they’d see the speaker hanging from the ceiling with a megaphone. It took mere moments for Violet to register the situation, with Alaska not far behind.

A throat cleared. “OKAY. I THINK IT’S ON.”

Fucking Sharon.” Alaska whispered, starting to giggle again.

SO. I DON’T HAVE LONG, BECAUSE I’M NOT ALLOWED TO BE USING THIS THING, BUT I FIGURED THIS WAS THE MOST SINCERE WAY TO DO IT. THEREFORE, MY NAME IS SHARON NEEDLES AND I AM EXTENDING A HEARTFELT, GENUINE AND ENTIRELY PERSONAL APOLOGY TO TRIXIE MATTEL.”

Violet slapped her forehead with her palm. “She… is an idiot.”

“My idiot.”

I MEAN - I GUESS I SHOULD SAY SORRY TO EVERYONE FOR BEING FUCKING MEAN BUT NOT EVERYONE DESERVES IT SO I’M NOT GONNA DO THAT. TRIXIE, IF YOU’RE LISTENING, PLEASE ACCEPT MY HUMBLE AND PRIVATE APOLOGY, AND YOU CAN COME AND SPEAK TO ME FOR FURTHER DETAILS. ALL I’M SAYING IS, I’M THE SHITTY ONE, NOT KATYA. SHE’S JUST RUSSIAN.”

The entire corridor, and even the cafeteria through the propped-open double doors, was silent in shock. It wasn’t every day that a student used the intercom - let alone Sharon Needles using it to apologise to someone.

I GOTTA GO, OR ELSE I’M GONNA GET STUCK IN HERE IN ISOLATION FOR HIJACKING THIS FUCKER. SO, UM, SORRY TRIXIE, YOU’RE A BABE, AND FUCK EVERYONE ELSE. HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

Violet shook her head. “It’s February.”

Alaska was still chuckling. “Humble and private apology… god, I love her.”

The sense of pride was almost overwhelming, especially mixed with the odd yet refreshing touch of amusement. Alaska had missed everything about Sharon, from her eyes to her laugh to her endless bickering with Violet, but above all, she’d missed and almost forgotten about the goofy, sarcastic sense of humour that she possessed. Every joke she made would send Alaska into peals of laughter, and it was a heart-warming relief to know that it hadn’t changed.

“Trixie’s gonna be hard pressed not to forgive her after that.” She stated, resuming her walk to the cafeteria as everybody seemed to spring back into life.

Violet scoffed. “Yeah, but you’re whipped. Biased as fuck.”

“Maybe I am. She’s a fucking dork.”

“I love to hate her.” Violet grinned. “Hopefully that fixes something, anyway.”

********************************************

Sharon’s voice over the intercom, apologising to Trixie, was the last thing Katya had expected to hear that day. Hell, Sharon apologising to Trixie full stop was entirely unexpected. Sure, Sharon had released the book that had wrenched Trixie and Katya’s fledgling relationship in two, but Sharon owed Katya nothing after what she’d done.


After the initial mortification had passed, Katya started to laugh. And laugh. And kept laughing.

It was such a Sharon thing to do, to steal the limelight and make her apology in an entirely Sharon way. Loud, brash, and unapologetic. Well, other than her actual words. They were apologetic. Katya knew that Violet and Alaska had to be behind the whole harebrained scheme, but knew that the method of apologising was all Sharon, and for that, she couldn’t have been more grateful, even if nothing changed between herself and Trixie. Katya didn’t deserve that level of happiness, but she was glad that at the very least Trixie knew Katya had never written mean things about her.

Completely lost in thought, Katya ambled down the corridor towards her last lesson when she bumped into someone warm and soft.

“I’m so sorr-” Katya began, before yelping as she was dragged by the person into an empty,  nearby classroom. “Don’t hurt me! I didn’t mean to bump into you! I can’t die now, I’m too young,” Katya began to protest before she focused on who the person was, her brain convinced that whoever it was had brought her into the classroom to beat her up.


“Don’t be an idiot,” came an all too familiar voice, and Katya felt her heart stop as her eyes finally focused on the person in front of her.

A person dressed in a flouncy pink dress with long blonde curls and plump pink lips that Katya remembered oh so well.

“Trixie?” Katya breathed softly, hardly daring to believe that the girl stood in front of her was the girl that haunted her every thought and every dream.


“No, it’s her ghost,” came the reply, and Katya grinned.

“It is you!” She said happily, before pausing again, remembering that Trixie hadn’t spoken to her for ages, and she didn’t yet know whether Trixie still hated her or not. “Uh - did you hear Sharon?” Katya ventured, not entirely sure she wanted to know the answer.

Trixie nodded, her eyes soft and crinkling around the edges. “I heard every word,” was all she said.

Katya thought she was going to vomit from the anxiety of not knowing. “What did you think?” she asked, not wanting to push Trixie, but at the same time needing to know before she passed out from the stress of the whole situation.

“I thought I’d come and ask you if you wanted to come to prom with me,” came Trixie’s reply, her eyes anxiously searching Katya’s face for a reaction.

Katya stumbled backwards a few paces, not entirely sure she’d heard Trixie right as she gaped at the girl, the words Trixie had spoken refusing to sink into her brain. “Uh - uh,” was all she managed, her eyes wide in shock.

“Is that a no?” Trixie asked, her voice holding a teasing note to it. She could tell from Katya’s reaction what the real answer was, but she couldn’t stop herself from teasing the blonde.

“No!” Katya almost yelled, before realising what she’d said. “I mean yes. I mean no! I mean- I would love to,” she eventually managed to get the words out, her entire body shaking with how unexpected the whole situation was. She hadn’t even been able to contemplate Trixie not hating her, let alone being able to digest that she was going to go to prom with Trixie. Her very first prom with her very first - “Hey, does that mean we’re -”

Katya trailed off.

“That we’re girlfriends?” Trixie offered, her eyes bright. Katya nodded. “I think so. If you’d like to be.”

Instead of answering with words, Katya nearly flew across the small gap between them and pulled Trixie into a strong embrace, before planting a gentle kiss to Trixie’s soft lips.

“I’d love that.”

***************************************

“Did you hear that Trixie and Katya are going to prom together?” Alaska asked as she lounged on Courtney’s bed, idly flipping through the pages of one of the many magazines Courtney and Ophelia had lying around.

“I think everyone heard Sharon apologising to her, I knew it was only a matter of time,” Willam replied from where she was sat at the vanity, preening herself in the mirror. Alaska grinned.

“I’m so proud of her,” Alaska said. “Violet and I told her she had to apologise, but I never thought she was actually going to do it. And not in such a public manner. Sharon Needles never apologises to anyone.”

“It was such a Sharon thing to do though,” Ophelia replied, running a brush through her long locks. “So you’re all friends-slash-girlfriends again now?”

Alaska nodded. “Yeah. Sharon and I are back together, Violet and Pearl are fucking again, and Trixie and Katya are going to prom together, plus we’re all friends. So - it’s all ended well.”

Courtney grinned, her eyes softening as she thought back to the Alaska of Christmas time and compared that pale, ethereal creature to the glowing Alaska in front of her.

“Being in a relationship suits you,” she said, moving to wrap her arms around the tall blonde and hug her tightly. “I’m so happy for you.”


“So am I,” Willam interjected, looking at the pair of them via the mirror. “As long as you don’t make me talk to Sharon. Hell will freeze over before I become friends with her again.”

Alaska merely lobbed a pillow in Willam’s direction, too happy and lazy to fight with her on the subject.

“I hate all of you,” Ophelia said, placing down her hairbrush and twisting her long locks up into a tight ponytail. “Alaska’s got Sharon back, Willam and Courtney are happier than ever, and I can’t even get a cute girl to even look in my direction, let alone kiss me or date me.”

Ophelia sighed a long suffering sigh, and the other three laughed at her.

“Don’t be stupid Fi,” Alaska said, propping herself up on her elbows so she could get a better look at Courtney’s sister. “I swear you have a different girl every week.”

Ophelia shrugged. “Yeah, but that’s not the same as a real girlfriend. No one will do the cute prom proposal for me.”

“I’ve been thinking for ages about how I’d love to be asked to prom,” Courtney chimed in, her voice dreamy. Willam looked at her with a twinkle in her eye.

“Did it involve me saying ‘Court, I’ve got my dress so you’re going to have to colour co-ordinate with what I’ve got’?” Willam asked, laughing as Courtney shook her head.

“No. It was more like-”

“Courtney, I’ve already got my dress so you’re going to have to colour co-ordinate with me, but that’s alright because clashing colours are in now if you don’t look good in the colour like I do,” Willam interrupted.


Alaska and Ophelia tried to hide their laughter as Courtney’s eyes widened in shock, before morphing to anger.


“Willam!” she cried, moving away from Alaska so she could stare at Willam properly. “I told you how I wanted you to do it!”


Willam just shrugged.

“Yeah, and I told you I’m not romantic. Do you want to go to prom with me or not?”

There was a beat of silence before Courtney sighed. “Yeah, of course I do. Fi, Lask, we’re going to have to go shopping.”

Courtney’s tone brightened at the prospect of being able to shop for a dress, Willam’s non-proposal already forgotten about.

“What about me? Can’t I come too?” Willam asked indignantly. Courtney shook her head.

“You can’t see the dress until the night!”

“Court… we’re not getting married,” Willam laughed, Alaska and Ophelia joining in with her as Courtney shrugged. “We’re not Sharon and Alaska.”

Willam dodged as Alaska threw another pillow in her direction.

“I know! I’d better get a better proposal when that happens,” Courtney sent a death glare in Willam’s direction, before pulling out her phone and beginning to browse the internet for dress ideas.

“Has Sharon asked you to prom yet?” Ophelia asked, turning her attention back to Alaska, knowing they’d lost Courtney to her fantasies for at least the next hours. Alaska shook her head.

“No,” she said, biting her lip. “I know everyone expects that Sharon will ask me, but after everything that’s gone on- I want to ask her myself,” Alaska told her friends, Willam and Ophelia exchanging a glance. Making the first move wasn’t usually the overly romantic Alaska’s way, and they knew she must still be feeling residual guilt to even talk about it.

“Are you sure?” Ophelia continued, not wanting Alaska to do anything she’d regret. Alaska nodded.

“Yeah. I want Sharon to know that I love her, and I’m never ever going to forget about her again, and that I want the whole world to know how much I love her and that I’m not afraid for everyone to know it anymore.”

Alaska knew her words probably didn’t make much sense, but she knew what she was trying to say, and she knew her friends would get the gist of it. Willam and Ophelia both beamed at her, both proud of the growth Alaska had made in the past few months. Before now, Alaska wouldn’t have even entertained the idea of anyone but their friends knowing about their relationship.

“Have you thought about how you’re going to do it?” Willam asked.

Alaska nodded, pulling at a loose piece of skin on her lip with her teeth. “Yeah. I think I know.”

***************************************************************

Alyssa had consented to letting Alaska make a mess, so that was exactly what she’d done. She knew Violet was out doing… something, although she wasn’t sure what, and Sharon would be in various disciplinary meetings for the next hour, so it was the perfect opportunity for Alaska to work on her surprise.

Glitter had somehow ended up everywhere. Everytime she looked at her hands, a new speck seemed to appear; it was in the carpet, inside her cold mug of coffee, inside the mug that she had to remind herself was not coffee, and pretty much everywhere else. Thankfully, she wasn’t alone in the mess, and had a handy helper.

“Uh, to the left a little bit with that one. Get the dimensions right.” Katya instructed, waggling her eyebrows. “I feel so dominant telling you what to do. Is this what it’s like in bed with -”

“Katya. Which left?” Alaska swiftly cut her off, gesturing to what appeared to be a giant piece of paper, paint and glitter. “There’s so much going on here and the brush keeps going funny and it’s going to look terrible!”

Katya shook her head. “No it’s not.” She said firmly. “Buck up, bitch. Here, hold the brush like this - yeah, yeah, that’s right - and move it gently, smoothly… yes! If you glide in the same direction, it looks prettier.”

Alaska pulled a face. “I am not an artist.”

“Of course you’re not.” Katya told her. “You’re also not Winona Ryder in the 90s, but Sharon still wants to bang you into the next millennium. Problem?”

Taking a step back, Alaska regarded the poster. “Shit, it’s too much, isn’t it? She’s gonna hate it.”

Katya opened her mouth, presumably to spill some odd but not necessarily untrue comfort, when the front door opened, and both girls identified the clicking of the heels as Violet.

“Why… does the kitchen look like a glitter Hiroshima?” She asked gingerly, as if she didn’t want to know the answer.

Katya answered cheerfully enough, clearly ignoring the expression on Violet’s face. “It’s for Sharon!”

“Riiiiight.” Violet nodded uncertainly. “And the glitter…?”

Alaska sighed. “I want to ask her to prom, and I thought a poster would be a cute-ish idea! Only it looks terrible, and she’s gonna hate it and say no and leave me.”

Violet stepped closer to take a look, doing her best to avoid stepping in the pools of glitter. Her eyes scanned the words quickly, smiling when she was done.

“I’ll bite, it’s cute. She’ll love it, ‘cause you made it.”

The following hour was spent cleaning up as much glitter as possible - which involved hands (Katya), dustpans and brushes (Alaska) and a vacuum (Violet) - and reassuring Alaska in fifty second intervals that Sharon was going to love it. Even so, Alaska could feel her nerves mounting as she watched the clock ticking away the minutes until Sharon returned.

“She’s here!” Alaska cried, for the seventh time in an hour.

Violet looked at her. “Alaska, come on, she’s no-”

Katya stopped her. “Nope, she really is here.”

Instantly the three scrambled to fold the poster, before deciding rolling it was easier, and fixed into a scroll for Alaska to unravel once she had Sharon’s attention. They listened attentively to her fumbling around by the door, locking it with her key and grumbling as she kicked her heels off.

“Well shit, let me tell you I need a fucking shower and a movie night, that meeting was too much…” She trailed off as quickly as she’d started, frowning. “Why do you all look so suspicious?”

Alaska bit her lip and slowly unrolled the poster, praying nothing would fall off or have been smudged in the process. To her relief, it hadn’t, so she settled on watching Sharon’s face as she reacted.

Sharon’s eyes fell upon what at first appeared to be two potatoes holding hands, but what turned out to actually be herself and Alaska as beans, with glitter for hair and lips and a sparkly heart in between them. In a mixture of paint and glitter glue, the words, “You’re my favourite lesbean - CAN we go to prom together?” were starkly visible against the white.

A grin spread across her face.

“You’re so cute,” She exclaimed, hiding the blush on her cheeks by practically running forwards to kiss her girlfriend. “Who let you be this cute?”

Alaska only pulled away when she ran out of breath, resting her forehead against Sharon’s as she panted. “Well?”

Then Sharon took a step backwards, and Alaska saw she was chewing her lip.

“I-I don’t know…”

4

UPDATED RPDR Drinking Game!

All of your input was SO appreciated! It’s actually really fun to write these out and I’m definitely not done with it- mostly because seasons 1-3 and AS1 have nothing, and we still have the rest of season 9 to go (after this episode though I think I do need a drink) anyway HERE IS THE UPDATED LIST keep sending in ideas because they are all awesome! Most if not all were included in here and they were a huge help :)

Also please don’t try this at home I don’t want to be the root cause of alcohol poisoning. Personally I’d do it with water and first person to pee loses but that’s just my innocent ass being innocent.

“Shoot for the moon; if you miss you will die in outer space, which is cool”

- yekaterina petrovna zamolodchikova