5. Twin-staken Identity

Bahahahahahaha. They sure played those twins, huh?

ANTM may have undergone a “revamp,” but rest assured that they haven’t changed the tried-and-true format of using makeovers to cripple the models with insecurity. They were straight up messing with Tash and Cody’s heads with their style assignments.

The twins look alike, but they have some key personality differences. Tash is the more typically feminine twin who enjoys behaving girly. Meanwhile, Cody is the tomboy who prefers a more androgynous aesthetic.

So the stylists come up with two makeover looks to complement these traits. One look is a long, flowing weave to enhance femininity, while the other is a harsh, squared cut that leans masculine. Perfect!

Oh, but there’s a catch. Tash the feminine twin gets the more masculine look and Cody the androgynous twin gets the girly weave.  

There’s no need to feel bad for the twins because the women on this show get makeovers they hate all the time, however, let’s at least acknowledge that the show is being unnecessarily mean in this particular case.

The argument the hosts use for giving Tash and Cody their looks is that they’re meant to enhance their brands. Except how in the hell would Tash’s brand be tomboy and Cody’s brand be feminine when it runs counter to their personalities?

You can’t even argue that they chose the makeovers based on what suited each girl’s face/body best because they look the same. It makes literally no sense that they couldn’t swap the makeovers to the twin for whom it made more sense. But, you know, if you wanted a show that made sense, you would have quit watching Top Model years ago!

Courtney, who the twins treated inconsiderately when she was sick, privately gets a kick out of the makeover fiasco, chalking it up to karma. Well, technically, she doesn’t call it karma, then immediately calls it karma.

This is an inexplicable Top Model confessional standby, going back to Cycle 14’s Alasia who said, “I ain’t gonna say I grew up in the hood, but I grew up in the hood.”

Cody mostly takes her makeover in stride, even though she “look[s] like a dude in a damned wig.” Those are her words, not mine, but I also don’t disagree. She tells the judges she’ll wind up rocking long hair better than Tash can, which is hardly the kind of boasting I’d expect to hear from the beta twin, but I suppose it is Cody’s time!  

As for Tash, she has a meltdown. At the salon, she locks herself in a bathroom and starts passive aggressively talking to herself loudly enough for everyone to hear that she’s a girly girl seductress who likes to flirt and wear skirts!

Tash is so upset she’s crying from her temple! Her facial expressions aren’t very model-y, but they are pretty hilarious. 

Ashley Graham finally goes over to Tash to calm her down, basically reminding her that working models change their hair all the time so Tash just needs to suck it up and realize this look isn’t permanent.

Wait, is Ashley allowed to say that? That’s certainly an unspoken truth about ANTM makeovers, but on a show with the usual narrative of “This terrible look is your brand that will make you famous,” it seems a little too honest.

Speaking of honest, it gets even better at panel when Rita compliments Tash’s Grace Jones-esque makeover saying it takes her from “here to here”:

Notice how that’s primarily a lateral movement. Usually when you’re talking about someone elevating her look, you’d say she went from here and then put another hand much higher to indicate some distance. Rita’s gesture is more like “we sent you out to left field… hopefully you can find some modeling gigs in this other plane.” Good luck, Tash! 

5 Funniest Moments from America’s Next Top Model Cycle 23 Ep. 3

itsaprescriptionsandwich  asked:

Evens? Hmmm

Les do it <3

2) Ever been in love?  Yeah with this dork named Alasia.  I dunno if you know her or not, but she’s pretty damn rad

4)  How tall are you?  Sadly?  5′4″

6) Any tattoos that you want?  Yeah!!!  I want an Ouroborus on my hand or wrist, and then the Heart Pirates’ logo on my shoulder

8) OTP?  I’m a firm Danny x Alasia shipper but for like fictional stuff?  Barney x Robin is my forever OTP.  (a little low key Ling Yao x Lan Fan)

10) Favorite bands?  If its just bands, Collective Soul, Rush, Zebrahead, Mariana’s Trench, and Eve 6 have always been fav.  You’ve gotten me really deep into The Goo Goo Dolls and even more into Third Eye Blind, so they’re both in there now

12) Favorite song?  Astoria by Mariana’s Trench still gets me really hard

14) Zodiac sign?  Sagittarius!

16) Favorite quote?  “I’ll do my best to protect the ones I love, and in return they’ll do the best they can to protect ones that they love.  Its the least we tiny humans can do for each other.” - Roy Mustang

18) Favorite color?  I’m partial to dark blues

20) Where do you go when you’re sad?  My room usually.  If I start crying, I’ll go to the bathroom and take a shower

22) How long does it take you to get ready in the morning?  If I have to?  Like 5 or 6 minutes tops

24) Turn on?  I’m not sure on how I should answer this.  You know damn well why

26) The reason I joined Tumblr?  Somebody asked me to make it, and I relented

28) Last thing that made you cry?  The ended of FMA Brotherhood…  Again…

30) Meaning behind your URL?  I changed it because my friend was in a real low place and I wanted to cheer them up

32) Last song you listened to?  The Boys of Summer cover by the Ataris  (banger)

34) Last person you talked to?  This dork named Alasia.  I dunno if you know her or not

36) Favorite food?  Hnnnnnnnng ham fried rice from this specific Chinese restaurant

38) Last place you were?  Work, the bane of my existence

40) Last time you kissed somebody?  Way back in April of 2016

42) What color underwear are you wearing?  Blue with white dots ;D

44) What color bottoms are you wearing?  Blue shorts

46) Last sport you played?  Oh shit uhhhhh…  Kickball I think? 

48) Last prank call you remember doing?  I was like 12?  I did one with my neighbors Mary and Katie

50) Favorite movie?  The Empire Strikes Back, but non Star Wars?  The Perks of Being a Wallflower, probs

Ah thanks, my dear!! <3