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The Reason I Don’t Do Cold Readings Anymore…

by reddit user Skarjo

I don’t do ‘Cold Readings’ anymore. I don’t tell fortunes. I don’t read tea leaves.

And I do not do contact ‘the other side’.

Look, don’t judge me alright? It was an easy gig. I mean, the first time I did it, it was a joke. I did it just to impress a girl. You’ve been there right? It was something I’d read about online and I thought I’d give it a go.

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I work mornings in the old yard
digging in the ground
but I moonlight as an astronaut
mostly just sit around and howl


won’t you come to my house tonight
we could sleep on the floor
I got this window that looks out to Orion
I paid extra for