Young And Beautiful
Based off “Young And Beautiful” by Lana Del Rey.
It’s been one month since Alan was diagnosed, Austin was supporting him through everything. Alan was diagnosed with cancer, unfortunately he was diagnosed already during the serious stage, he had to started chemotherapy today.
Today was his first appointment, Alan knew his hair was going to fall off and he would suffer from the side effects. He thought of this everyday, he was a burden to Austin.
They’re both in their twenties. At this age, they should be settling in their life, or traveling or studying, instead Alan is stuck in treatment. Austin kept telling him he doesn’t mind, that he’d do anything and everything for Alan. Alan believed him, he really did.
Austin held Alan’s hand as they walked to the hospital, he let Alan go in the doctor’s office and waited patiently. After about two hours, Alan came out of the room, nearly in tears. It’s tough for him.
"Alan.“ Austin sighed, running up to the smaller boy and hugging him tightly. "Shh, it’s alright, angel."
"I can’t do this.” Alan sobbed.
"You can, you’ll make it.“ Austin said in a soft tone of voice, comforting his boyfriend. "You’ll be okay.”
Alan sniffed and hugged Austin, sobbing on his chest as Austin held him. He wished there was a way he could trade places with Alan, he’d do anything for him.
Austin drove Alan home and helped him. He made Alan dinner and once everything was calm, he lied down next to him in bed. He held Alan carefully, he looked fragile to Austin; delicate. Alan looked up and Austin, meeting his brown eyes.
“I love you.” Austin mumbled. “I love you so much."
"Will you still love me when I’m no longer young and beautiful?” Alan asked.
“I’ll always love you.” Austin said, holding Alan’s hands and kissing them. “I’ll love you no matter what."
"Thank you Aus.” Alan mumbled sleepily.
"Goodnight angel.“ Austin whispered, tucking a strand of Alan’s ginger hair behind his ear.
"Goodnight Aus.” Alan yawned, falling asleep instantly.
As weeks passed by, Alan kept feeling more insecure and weak. His cancer wasn’t getting any better, and Austin feared for him. Alan had just finished his chemo session, he came out of the familiar room and was met by Austin hugging him like always.
Alan had already shaved his head, Austin helped since Alan kept crying. For Alan, it showed how he was getting worse, for Austin, it showed how strong Alan is.
They went back home, it was the same every week. Austin helped Alan up the stairs, he was getting weaker by each week that passed. Austin was his rock, he was always there. Alan would have breakdowns at random times, Austin was always there for him.
"I love you angel.“ Austin whispered as Alan fell asleep. "You’re still as beautiful as ever."
"I love you so much.” Alan whispered back, closing his eyes and falling asleep next to Austin.
It was a normal day today, until Alan started to feel a sharp pain. He fell to the floor, Austin ran to his aid. He quickly called the ambulance and they took him to the hospital.
"What’s happening?“ Austin asked the doctor.
"We’re not quite sure, it’s serious though.” The doctor replied.
"How serious?“ Austin asked, his mood saddening by the second. He knew it, he was going to lose Alan.
"Austin, this is not like before when it was a small pain.” The doctor said, trying to find the words. “This time it’s life-threatening.”
“What’s the chance he’ll survive?” Austin asked, his voice shaking as he spoke.
“I’m sorry, it’s a small chance.” The doctor said sadly. “We’re trying, I promise we are."
"No, no I can’t lose him!” Austin sobbed. “I can’t!"
The nurse came out of the emergency room at that moment, shaking her head at the doctor. The doctor took a deep breath and spoke.
"Austin.” He said, placing his hand on Austin’s shoulder.
"Y-Yes?“ Austin replied quietly.
"Alan, he, he’s gone." The doctor said, the room falling silent after.
"No.” Austin whispered, barely audible. The second time louder. “No!”
“I’m extremely sorry.” The doctor kept apologizing. “I promised we tried.”
“No, no you don’t understand! I can’t lose him!” Austin cried.
"I’m sorry Austin.“ The doctor replied, trying to somehow comfort him.
"I was going to marry him! That’s my angel in there.” Austin sobbed. “I can’t lose my angel."
"I’m sorry.” They kept repeating.
“I can’t lose my angel.” Austin sobbed, his sobbing quieting down as he approached Alan’s fragile body. “Don’t take my angel from me."
The doctors and nurses left the room, leaving Austin alone.
"I can’t lose you Alan.” Austin mumbled, lacing his fingers with Alan’s. “We were supposed to grow old together. We were going to adopt a cat, remember? You wanted to call her Nitsua because it’s my name backwards. You wanted to travel the world with me, remember? You said you wanted to visit Europe with me."
"You said it! You said you wanted a family, that you wanted to be with me forever.” Austin cried. “You can’t leave like this."
Austin cried for a long time, he lost track of time. Alan’s pale body still stood in front of him, no sign of life. Austin continued crying. That was his angel on the hospital bed, and now he’s gone.
"I love you so much angel.” Austin whispered, looking at Alan’s face, still holding his hand. “I love you so fucking much."
He died young and beautiful.