aladdin books

Terrible Lessons You Learned from Musical Theatre
  • Hamilton: Don't fuck up. Ever. You will die.
  • Waitress: You know what's great? Adultery.
  • Chicago: Easiest way to fame and fortune? Murder.
  • Wicked: Only pretty people can overthrow the government.
  • Rent: Don't ever compromise in the slightest, especially if you're poor and dying.
  • Hunchback of Notre Dame: Nothing good will ever happen to you if you're physically disabled. But you'll sound great.
  • Heathers: The popular kids were right, you really should avoid the weirdos in high school.
  • Aladdin: Lie your way to a good relationship. Especially if she's rich. She'll get over it.
  • Book of Mormon: Blasphemy and fan-fiction are great for stabilizing war-torn parts of Africa.
  • School of Rock: Lie your way to a great career. Especially if your boss is hot. She'll get over it.
  • Something Rotten: Originality is dead, but that's hilarious.
  • Phantom of the Opera: Love never dies, and neither will this show.
  • Lion King: Julie Taymor did something right.
MUSICALS ASKS

Since I’m deep in my musical phase right now, leave a musical in my ask and I’ll reply with:

Favourite Character:

Least Favourite Character:

Favourite OBC Cast Member:

Favourite Current Cast Member (If Applicable):

Favourite Song:

Least Favourite Song:

Favourite Act (If Applicable):

Favourite Ship:

Least Favourite Ship:

If There is Something I Would Change about The Musical:

Ratings: ?/10

things in musical theatre that always gets me that I realised during a road trip
  • that bit in waitress, “you’re my dOCterr”
  • the harmonisation in what’s inside
  • when dawn goes “I’m not defensive!”
  • that bit in hamilton where everyone sings over each other in non-stop
  • “I hope that you… burn”
  • when john sings the rise up bit in my shot
  • “SIT DOWN JOHN YOU FAT MOTHER F*CKSTICK”
  • Angelica. everything she says and does.
  • the choir in once upon a december
  • “hey balaga, ho balaga, hey hey ho balaga, hey hey hey balaga, the famous troika driver”
  • Lucas Till going “WOOoooOOooOOooOOOooooOoOOooOoooOOOoooOAH”
  • that bit in the duel “DRINK WITH ME MY LOVE, FOR THERE’S FIRE IN THE SKY, AND THERE’S ICE ON THE GROUND, EITHER WAY MY SOUL WILL DIE” - relatable
  • and when everyone goes “corpulence”
  • honestly everything piere says like yes hand me the existential crisis
  • and whenever amber gray opens her mouth goddamn
  • when everyone sings over each other in 96,000
  • “the only room with a view is a room with you in it”
  • literally everything the piragua guy says
  • “Hey guys, it’s me! The biggest disappointment you know.” - nina is me
  • basically whenever Mandy Gonzalez sings tbh
  • in 21 chump street when naomi sings “take the money justin, please just take the money”
  • and in cousin where justin goes “looooooooooove”
  • in a day in falsetto land when they all sing over each other frick yes
  • “AND STILL THE BASTARD DIVORCED ME”
  • “EVERYTHING WILL BE ALRIGHT” and then when you realise it won’t be
  • “god you’re a pAIn in the aSS”
  • literally whenever the lesbians from next door speak
  • when they harmonise in “the tango maureeeeeen” in tango: maureen
  • when joanne goes “so be wise ‘cause this girl satisfies”
  • all of seasons of love, every version, it’s beautiful and iconic and frick if that song didn’t define my childhood
  • when kevin goes “i’ll do something inCREDible that blows gods frICken mIND” in you and me (but mostly me)
  • “I CAN’T BELIEVE JESUS CALLED ME A DICK”
  • the harmonisation in poor thing
  • when everyone sings together in arabian nights
  • the genie’s rendition of tale as old as time - petition to get James Monroe Iglehart to sing a full version
  • “Why shouldn’t I fly so far from here?”
  • heather chandler going “you’ve come so far why now are you pulling on my dICK”
  • allllll the harmonisations in candy store
  • and blue
  • in come from away when they go “I am an Islander”
  • when bev mimicks the wwii pilots “Hey lady, hey baby, hey! Why don’t you grab us a drink?”
  • and then, “well they can get their own drinks” and that cute lil laugh after
  • “suddenly there’s nothing in between me and the sKYYYYYYYYYYYYYY”
  • “And that’s how we started speaking the same language”
  • when everyone is praying together holy shit that moves me every time
  • “cause I’m freaking out, you’re freaking out and we’re all 👏 freaking 👏 the 👏 fuck 👏 out”
  • anytime someone says “you are there and I am hereeeeeeee”
  • “hot towel, hot towel, c o l d towel?”
  • in legally blonde, elles voice crack when she says “some girls were just meant to smile”
  • “and with the chance I’ve been given I’m gonna be dRIvEn aS hELL”
  • “with fear and shock and aWEEEEEEE”
  • when they’re all singing at the end of blood in the water
  • the entirety of Ireland and the reprise
  • the blatant subtext jokes in take it like a man
  • “ ‘cause i feel so much better than befOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRE”
  • in Miss Saigon “and now I’ll leave remembering heRRRR,, just heeeeerrrr”
  • tbh whenever the engineer has a solo, I mean he was an arsehole, but it was the only fun thing in that musical
  • “I still believe he’ll come for me” - kim, my heart, my only wish was for her to happy and safe goddammit
  • the literal entirety of “ascot gazette” in my fair lady
  • and show me
  • “READY, AIM, FIRE!!”
  • the humming in wouldn’t it be lovely
  • allllll of heaven on their minds in jesus christ superstar, it’s literally the only song that hasn’t been done wrong in any version
  • “HOSANA, HEY SANA, SANA, SANA, HOSANA, HEY SANA, HOSA N A”
  • “JESUS CHRIST, SUPERSTAR, DO YOU THINK YOU’RE WHAT THEY SAY YOU ARE?”
  • also everythings alright
  • okay there’s so much for newsies so this’ll be short but “Newsies on a mission! Kill the competition! Sell the next edition! We’ll be out there, CARRYING THE BANNER”
  • “strike! strike! strIKE STRIKE STRIKE STRIKE STRIKE OOOOOOOOOOOH S T R I K E”
  • dear evan hansen in waving through a window going “WAVING, WAVING WOAAAAAAHHHHHHH WOAHOHOHOH”
  • “has been hard (hard) has been bad (bad) has been rough. (KINKY!)”
  • “if I stop smoking crACk”
  • alll of you will be found
  • “DONT BE A PENIS THE MAN IS A GENIUS” - iconic from something rotten! every. fucking. time
  • all of it’s hard to be a bard
  • in do you hear the people sing “IT’S THE MUSIC OF THE PEOPLE WHO WILL *NOT* BE SLAVES AGAIN”
  • “who am i? TWO FOUR SIX OH ONEEEEEEEE!”
  • “AS LUCIFER FELL”
  • frick literally all of les mis is iconic

Okay that’s pretty much all I got through before my phone went flat and then the trip was boring but yeah

3

You can hate the Disney sequels all you like

But I will defend the sequel characters with my life.

Theatre kid problems

Trying to sing along to a duet song and you try to sing both parts without sounding out of breath

6

Hey so I’ve been wanting to do this for a few years now, but I’ve never had to chance to do it until now. I had made a “diversity chart” with Google Spreadsheet for the main Disney females. I hope you guys like it, I will be making one for Overwatch, Pixar, and the all of the Disney main characters too. I hope you guys find it interesting or w/e!!

EDIT: Updated the Skin Color and Origin pics