aks me if i give a shit

The Signs as Shit Alfred Says during "FULL ON D U C C"

Aries: The power of Christ does not compel me

Taurus: Why am I put on the other side? Racism.

Gemini: You paid me 3 cents and a subway sandwich to suck your dick

Cancer: I don’t want a gun stuck to my dick dick dick dick dick dick dick *proceeds to say dick many, many times afterwards, then starts singing dick to the tune of Dog Song from Undertale*

Leo: *to the turn of Old McDonald* And on this farm he had a person

Virgo: I hope you stick your dick in a cup of cyanide

Libra: How did the tree give me the succ?

Scorpio: ‘Everyone wants to kill Ryan’ with your host, the bitch himself, R Y A N

Sagittarius: Who pissed in here?

Capricorn: I was gonna do the matrix and I did the mate

Aquarius: Listen *sings to a chilled out beat* I didn’t want to get a gun on my dick no sir, no sir, no sir, no sir. I didn’t want to get a gun on my dick no sir, no sir, no sir, no sir. Not a pistol, or an AK, or a bazooka to it. I don’t want any of that shit, none of it. I don’t want a gun to my dick I don’t want that shit. I don’t want a gun to my dick, I don’t want a gun, no, no, no, no, no sir, no, no, no

Pisces: Quack of the game

Signs as Jordan / Signs as Ryan / FULL ON D U C C 

anonymous asked:

One of my schoolmates is from India and her name is Radhika. And when she was in Kindergarten the teacher refused to learn how to say her name correctly and said it like "rah Dee kah" and so everyone called her that until graduation. I found out a month before graduation that we'd all be saying her name wrong and she just gave up on correcting us because that one teacher told her to piss off.

i totally get the feel hhh h when i was in elementary school ppl always pronounced my birthname (which is really just a letter away from my preferred name, so I don’t mind y’all knowing) as “Aksh-AA-yah” instead of “AK-shay-aah” and I didn’t correct my teachers bc they looked like they really didn’t wanna try, but in fifth grade I had a Chinese-American teacher who got really angry that no one had tried to pronounce my name correctly, and he told me that my name was my name and that I deserved to be addressed correctly. :’0 he blew my ten-year-old mind and i’ve been giving ppl shit abt my name ever since 

teachers really don’t understand the impact of pronouncing names correctly; doing so shows that you care abt your students’ background and culture and is very essential to making your students feel like they’re being respected and accepted for who they are even though it’s a very simple action. 

anonymous asked:

I hate how @ehuante treats you guys, like she calls you guys her friends but only  talks to you guys when she feels like it. I've  heard about your project with her but its not done yet right? I don't  kniw if you two are close or not but it seems like the only people she only cares about are people who are more recognized like ak-tastic and xnek0, You should just leave her she doesn't  really give a shit  about you guys only her follower count and acts like shes intimidating due to it.

Urgh you hate anons really want me to hate her or something? What makes you think  that? You  don’t really  know her you shouldn't  say things like that, less when you are using the anon mask to send this.About the project thing, i don't  know. I did ask her about it but i stopped because i felt like i was annoying her and she's  busy. So please leave me alone.

3

Your uncles giving you a hard time about moving out? I don’t think they want you living with the enemy.

Fuckboy, ChrisxEva,4x10 continuation

this takes place after Chris and Emma kiss and Jonas and Eva kiss Chris’s POV Emma takes my hand and leads me into an empty room inside Sana’s house. The party had died down a bit and they were only people left.But that doesn’t stop her from taking me inside.Just as she slams the room door shut with her foot, her lips make their way to mine. I’m taken back but respond back immediately, her fingers brush through my hair whilst I pin her agaisnt the wall. It’s a new feeling but I feel as if this is going to fast. I have never been the one to think having sex with a girl I just met is fast but I feel as if something is missing. I did feel intimidated by Emma when I saw her that is true, but I felt as if I genuinely liked her not the same as Eva obviously but- Shit, Eva I don’t realize what I’m doing but I pull away from Emma and I’s makeout session. “I can’t do this,” I breathe out, trying to back away but she keeps pulling meback. “What do you mean,” My indirect rejection doesn’t seem to faze Emma as she continues to kiss down my neck. “I mean I want to take this slow, like an actual relationship,” A shiver runs down my spine as the words leave my mouth, I never though I’d say anythung regarding a relationship, but I did. “A rel-relationship?” Emma stutters. “ Yeah, I want to give it a try.” I mentally slap my face as I realize that sounds harsh but then again I’ve never been in one. “Uh-uh, I just wanted to-” “ You just wanted to sleep with me, got it.” I slowly nod my head as her words hit me. I actually feel sad but I’m not sure about what. Picking up my shirt, I walk outside. Apparently everyone had left but a few people were still there. Striding outside, I spot William’s car indicating he hasn’t left yet. I walk around in hopes to find him, since he was the only person person I could talk to. I spot him in the living room with Noora. They were making out but I couldn’t give a shit less. “Williamm,” I whine out, sitting on the coffe table infront of them. They both instantly pull away on my presence making William glare at me but his expresson comepletely changes as he looks upon my anxious one. “What’s up?” he aks. “ I don’t know, I don’t know anything.‘Cause like one second I want to be with Eva and then I look at Emma and I’m like ‘oh, who’s this’. And then we kiss and I feel like I;m in love but I dont know shit about love but then I think of Eva and I feel like I’m in love with her cause like her smile just comes in my mind and I just completly just get breathless even thinking of her and now I was just making out with Emma and then Eva came into my mind and I pulled away because I thought it was going too fast and then-” “ Wait, wait you pulled away because you though it was going to fast?” William cuts in between as I try to regain my breath. “Yeah, I told Emma that I want to take it slow and want to try out an actual relationship with her but then I find out she just wanted to sleep with me, which I get because like, I’m me but I’m so fucking confused about Eva man, I just don’t- like my brain doesn’t function when I’m with her, but when I saw Emma I felt like it was love at first sight and I just- what’s happening to me?” I speak out, looking up at Noora and William who had astonished looks plastered on their faces. “You love Eva?” Noora whispers. “I don’t know! I don’t get anything!” I exclaim. “Okay wait, first tell us what you feel when you look at both of them,” William suggests and for the first time it’s a decent one. “Okayy.. When I saw Emma I was like completely shocked because she looked really pretty and I’m 'like who is this, I want to know her’, and then we talked for a while and she’s so nice and I just don’t know what to say when I’m around I just focus on her face but I even feel insecure, yeah, I feel insecure that she’ll judge but then when I’m with Eva, I- I don’t give a shit about how she looks, I just get lost in her eyes and she’s so fukcing beautiful and my heart feels weird when she smiles and I can’t help but think of her all the time and then when I’m around her my heart beats crazy fast and I don’t care how I look I just want her near me and she’s so beautiful,” I say. “I was wrong,” William says slowly and I feel like I’m about to loose my shit because I don’t understand anything. “ WHAT DO YOU MEAN?!” I shout, pulling my hair. “I mean, when you messaged me saying you might love Eva, I thought it was some phase or he doesn’t know what he’s talking about, but fuck man, you’re so in love with her,” William says shocked and I calm down a bit. I love Eva? “ What about Emma?” “ Leave her,you just developed an infatuation with the girl you don’t love her” Noora speaks in between. “No! Leave me alone,” I hear a shout come from behind me. I turn to look Eva run in crying with Jonas hot on her heels. “Eva! I didn’t mean it,” Jonas tries to convince her but she’s already left the house. I run outside and call Eva’s name a couple of times but she ignores me.I’m still running behind Eva who’s in the middle of the road. Hearing a loud horn come from my left, I look to see a car speeding in Eva’s disrection. Without a doubt in my head, I pull Eva out from the street and onto the sidewalk. “What the hell were you thinking?” I asked her, slightly furious. “I-I’m sorry,” She stutters,looking up at my angry face, Eva cries harder and I feel my heart drop.I immediately hug her and try to calm her down. “I’m so stupid,“Eva whiispers. "Yeah, you kinda are,"I admit, in result Eva pushes me away. "Shutup,” Eva slightly laughes and my mood brightens up knowing that I was capable of making her laugh. “Jonas and I were about to hook up and I was so happy that he was finally giving me attention after all those other girls, and then he goes like ” we aren’t getting back together right?“ and I don’t know but I felt so sad and like useless eventhough we’ve hooked up after we broke up before and I don’t know I expected something from him, he’s just a fuckboy,” My heart drops at her words knowing she still had feelings for Jonas and that she called him a fuckboy and called me the same before as well. “Do you remember what I said to you a few years back? If he makes a beautiful girl like you cry, fuck him,” I say, moving her hair out of her face. “Yeah, he’s just a cheating fuckboy,” Eva says. ouch. “Yeah, so am I,” I whisper. “What?” Eva asks. “You told me I’m a cheating fuckboy this morning, the same thing you said about Jonas,” I say, looking down at Eva’s tear stained face, wiping away her tears. “No,” Eva says and I look in her eyes. “Jonas is JUST a cheating fuckboy, but you, you are so much more than that so don’t let anyone tell you anything different,” Eva says. Yup This is the moment William was talking about,I’m so in love with this girl. Leaning in slowly, I look at Eva to see if she’s okay but I see her leaning in as well. Our lips barely touch and I already feel chills up my arms.Eva makes the first move and connects our lips. I kiss back slowly but there’s something about this kiss that seems different.. but better.Her hands entangle themselves in my hair while my hands snake around her waist. Our passion filled kiss ends when I slowly pull away but our foreheads keeps us close. “I don’t want to sound like a whore, but I wanna try.. us” I can almost hear Eva’s voice quietly tremble and I chuckle. “I wanna try us too,” I admit. “But you’re gonna have to be serious, and no flirting with other girls or even checking them out,"Eva says and I smirk. "Oh no! That mean’s I can’t even check out your mom? Because she’s for sure a milf!” I exclaim, pouting to seem serious. “Chris!” Eva shouts, not believing what I just said. “I’m kidding,” I kiss Eva’s forhead and reassure her. My happiness this second is undescribable, there’s nothing and no one interrupting Eva and I’s moment this second and I could not be happier.I smile as I realize that Eva and I are having a 'moment’. “Such a fuckboy,” Eva mutters under breath but I still hear her. “But now your just stuck with me,” I say. If this feels like love, then it’s bloody amazing.

Imagine being Smurf’s daughter and her kicking you out when the guys are pulling jobs behind her back Part 2

Part 1

You had pulled a small job of your own that night, robbing a corner store that you knew wouldn’t cause any problems for you. Scoring about $500, which you were more than happy to have to yourself. There was nothing you wanted more than to go pull a big job, piss off Smurf in whatever way you possibly could, but you didn’t have a real lead.

Keep reading

I swear to god tumblr gun owners are the vegans of there world.

-hey man hows it going

-good i own a gun.

-that’s…I didn’t ask that

-i have a gun it’s my right to 

-…ok

-people hate me cause i own one

-I …I don’t think anyone gives a shit

-AK-47