akb0048: the next stage

10

AKB0048(3, 16)  | AKB48 - “Beginner”

Appointment tomorrow with surgeon

This time I’m not going to break down (I might, that’s a lie), but I’m definitely NOT walking out.
Stopped taking my anti-depressants this week and have been fine, until last night I had to take one to sleep!
I had got into bed and couldn’t switch off, I spent about 6 hours thinking about and googling answers to questions I didn’t know the answer too and until now, have not wanted to think about.
All about:
Mastectomies.
Reconstructions.
Radiotherapy.
What the radiotherapy will do to the reconstruction :/ (this is what I’m dreading!!!)
Risks if I refused radiotherapy… there is a bigger risk of cancer recurrence especially in people under 40!!
Survival rates and chances of cancer recurrence… It’s different for everyone it seems, but breast cancer rates are really good.

Well, I learned I have to have all the treatment they are offering no matter if its possibly going to ruin my body… they are trying to increase my survival rate for goodness sake!!
So, I’m hoping to go in tomorrow and have the scans and mammograms etc. to see what the chemo has done and then get on with arranging surgery ASAP :)

I’ve also learned through all of this, cancers fucking complicated and I never want to go through any of this again!!!