That’s not quite the right term I’m looking for. We’re still barreling down the road towards a breakup, but maybe we just gained a few extra MPHs on that sprint. Milestone? No, that would mean something expected and measured. Are we in a new chapter or stage?
Whatever you want to call it: today is a day when things are different in the divorce. Very different indeed. Something has changed. Is it my attitude? My desire to leave X behind. My lack of tolerance in her bullshit? Maybe all of the above.
In about an hour, the girls are meeting together in Dr. W’s office - X, 20 and 17. And from the information I got from the girls last night, it’s going to be quite the confrontation. Perhaps an intervention. Because they have a lot to say, and I don’t think X is going to enjoy any of it.
Last night while X was working (allegedly) at her store, the girls decided to share with me much more in the way of details about what X has been up to for the last year or so. How their Mother has been having conversations about our divorce as long as a year and a half ago! Meanwhile X was assuring me that she was telling the girls nothing about our situation.
I also heard about just how open and overt she has been about her “boyfriend”, including her boasts to her daughters how “good of a kisser he was.” Yes, while still very much married to their father.
I even got first-hand accounts of how they’ve caught her in very raunchy situations with the boyfriend, through FaceTime sexting and more. One episode that took place on the night when I was in the hospital, recovering from my cancer surgery.
Plus they’ve seen lewd pictures and texts on their mother’s phone. Including one particularly unsavory shot when X wore one of 17’s work uniforms and sent him revealing images.
(Bonus information – her new “boyfriend” also happens to be married with two young children!)
All the while X was flirting with the boyfriend in front of the girls, she was threatening them to never tell me anything that was going on.
What’s changed in me is that I can no longer tolerate X’s abuse of our kids in this way. The girls have decided to tell X today that I’m completely in the know about everything that’s been happening. (Will they have the guts to go through with it? I don’t know. I didn’t pressure them to do it; I just told them that I would have a much better opportunity to confront her if she knew. Otherwise I would remain silent and not violate my daughters’ request to not ‘betray’ them to their Mother.
At this point, I think the girls’ relationship with X is almost entirely broken. I question whether or not it can be even salvaged. I think they are feeling this way too, so I’m thinking this upcoming session might be explosive.
I’m going to call the girls afterwards and see if their Mother listened to their situation and vowed to make any changes. If she remains stubbornly to her position, I’m going to lower the boom:
I have his cell phone number and I’ve planned to send a long text. The gist of it is that he has to get X to back down and be more discreet. If not, I’m going to visit HIS wife and family and clue them in on what their “loving” husband and father has been up to.
I threatened to do this almost a year ago. The reason I didn’t was simple - I didn’t have all the facts. And I was only doing it out of an angry husband’s need for vengeance.
My reasons this time are quite different. This is to try to protect my children from feeling any more betrayed and used by their mother. If she won’t see reason, perhaps the threat of telling his family will slow things down.
Yes, things have changed. My feelings of disappointment and regret about the end of our marriage are taking on a new form. I feel less guilt about the failure in our union. I’m feeling much more anxious to get the hell away from her.