Shopping for groceries in the 21st century is completely overwhelming for someone who was quite literally transplanted from a time where food was rationed and there wasn’t as much variety on the shelves. That is, until Margaret Carter comes across the aisle 13 and she sees her beloved PG Tips amongst other brands of teas and coffee. Though the logo has changed and she’s not entirely certain it’ll taste the same - nothing else seems to and they are in America - the familiarity of it is enough for Peggy to put a box in her basket.
Due to Steve’s eating habits, his kitchen was never fully stocked for too long, but with the recent addition of Peggy staying with him, his shelves were now almost completely bare. They had originally planned to do the food shop together, but a phone call from Maria Hill at 4am that morning altered their plans. He had apologised to her way too many times whilst getting dressed before she finally silenced him with a kiss and an “I’ll be fine, darling. It’s only the grocer’s.”
In this vlog here some people got upset and thought me rude, ungrateful, and blunt. While I may have been blunt due to lack of sleep for days, I stand by my message. Please read to the end of this message before commenting. My message was this: I make vlogs for my family first, I do it to document our lives so that we have this to look back on. If you watched on, you would see I also said I do it to share our joys with the world, which is our community. Just because I said I do it first for my family, doesn’t mean I don’t care for my community. Anyone that’s been here for the YEARS that we have vlogged, know I care DEEPLY about my community and that we owe it to ourselves and others to be the best that we can be. Do I make money doing it? Of course. But I will remind you I vlogged for years getting just 1 - 2k views on a video because I do this channel for my future family and to share our joy with the world, not monetary compensation. If you feel otherwise, turn on adblock I guess, I’ll keep making vlogs. Just because you think there isn’t love in my heart, doesn’t mean there isn’t love in my heart, you cannot take that away from me.
I believe the aggression people have is in this situation is from false entitlement. This is something that I have thought about ever since I hit 1 million subscribers. I was sick, my wife was sick and pregnant at the time, and my ‘Thank You for 1 Million’ video went up late. Some of the comments I received really shocked me.
‘Where’s his thank you video”,
‘So he’s not going to thank us for getting him 1 mill?’
‘Matthias doesn’t care about us cause he didn’t make a milestone video’
‘Without us he wouldn’t be here’
‘We helped you buy your new car and house and you didn’t even say thank you, you owe us’
These are just weird comments.
All the while the video was already shot, and being edited when I had the energy. I think after all I’ve done, I would at least get your ‘benefit of the doubt’
I think people think I owe them something because of my successes. Did I do this all on my own? Absolutely not. I had an amazing family, amazing friends, an amazing wife that all worked incredibly hard to make this happen, and we built a great community together.
While I’m thankful for all of my viewers and the positivity they feed back to me, and the rest of the world, I do not owe anyone anything besides respect. Videos are a fair exchange, if it wasn’t, no one would watch. I AM indebted to the people who supported above and beyond, such as Patreon. That is a clear example of how some of you supported me with nothing in return and rarely, if ever, asked for anything in return. Even merch, you paid good money for merch, but you got something in return, there is a balance. People think because they support me by watching, that I am their servant. I do not owe viewers anything but respect, and my viewers do not owe me anything but respect. I choose to show my respect to you in the form of videos I think you will enjoy. I do not have to keep making videos to the end of my days, and you do not have to keep watching me to the end of yours. That’s what makes our relationship work, we need each other. Without me, this community cannot exist, without you, this community cannot exist. If you feel you don’t need me, then unsubscribe, seriously. I would hate to think you are watching my videos as a chore, I want you to get something out of them!
*We are equals.* I cannot stress that enough. The minute you think otherwise this community becomes something much more dangerous and unruly. I am not better than you, you are not better than me. We are both people. This is why my bio almost always reads “I’m a person, you’re a person, we already have so much in common. Let’s be friends.’ Because I truly believe that we are equals, it’s not just some ploy to get a sub or follow, it’s a mission statement of the values of this community.
This is why you see fans support large YouTubers who have done horrible things in the world because these YouTubers have a false sense of entitlement to their fans and vice versa. This is why you see YouTuber’s abuse their power, by sending hate mobs across the internet to do their dirty work. If I make bad content, stop watching. If I hurt others, stop supporting me. If I spread hate, do not spread more hate. There needs to be a sense of responsibility and accountability on both of us. It’s a copout when YouTuber’s say they aren’t responsible for their community. Hate breeds hate. We do not have a contract, the minute you find my videos unentertaining, please unsubscribe, I will not take offense. I attempt to provide value in my videos, whether it’s simple entertainment, perspective, joy, hope, or just something to laugh at.
This also frequently funnels into privacy. I get that so many of you are so excited to meet Luna. I adore that, thank you for sending her love, she needs it, as does every child entering into this world. But know that she belongs to Amanda and I. We have the choice to share her. Know that we share what we choose to share and that you have no right to any information beyond that. I say this because of comments on the above video stating how pissed off they were that I didn’t include Luna in the video. I know I forfeit certain privileges of privacy when I post online, I understand this deeply, but this doesn’t give someone the right to show up at my doorstep. There are levels of privacy; it is not all or nothing.
All of this doesn’t mean I’m not grateful, thankful, and loving to the people of this community, but we are a community, we help each other, there is a balance. I thank God daily for the privileges I have as a father, a husband, a brother, a son, and an entertainer. I am truly blessed to be living this life, but I worked hard to be the best that I can be, and I work hard to be an image that you can look up to. I believe this is my responsibly of someone with a following. This is why I share my joy with you. I want you to know that happiness isn’t just something greeting cards sell you on aisle 13. I want you to know that love is real, and not something movies lied to you about. I hope that the value you find in my vlogs are the tools you may need to build hope, confidence, and love within yourself. Because when you love yourself, you can love others.
Summary: Sam and the reader were a happy couple until Sam lost his soul. Now the reader can’t stand to be around him, which Soulless!Sam doesn’t seem to mind until he starts having these ‘feelings’ that go beyond attraction.
Word Count: 2,826
Warnings: Quick smut.
A/N: I hope this chapter is okay. It’s kind of a filler, I think.
You sigh to yourself as you circle the last ‘Help Wanted’ ad on the current newspaper page with a red sharpie. It’s for the supermarket about twenty minutes away from the house. They’re looking for a cashier.
“I could be a cashier.” You tell yourself as you sit cross legged on your bed. “I have decent math and social skills, right?” You ask yourself, nervously biting the end of the marker. “I can try it. There’s no harm in trying.” You nod, still trying to get used to the thought. “This is for the kid.” You remind yourself before grabbing the newspaper and climbing off the bed, ready to tell everyone your idea about finally getting a job.
“Morning, mama.” Dean greets you with a smile as you walk into the kitchen, where he and Sam are having coffee.
You playfully roll your eyes at your new nickname. “Morning, Dean. And Sam.” You quickly add and nod at the younger brother, who returns the gesture before he resumes to drink out of his mug.
“You hungry? I could whip up some eggs. Maybe some sausage…” Dean offers.
You grimace at the thought of food. “Not right now. I was nauseous earlier and just thinking about eating is making me want to barf. But thanks.” You smile graciously.
“Not a problem.” You watch as his green eyes trail down to the reading material in your hands. “What’s with the newspaper?” He asks with a weird look. “You do know you could just get the news from the Internet, right?”
“Ha ha. Very funny, Dean. I was looking for a job in the neighborhood.” You inform him and Sam.
“A job?” Dean raises an eyebrow as he shoots a glance at Sam, who shrugs in response. His eyes find their way back to you. “Why are you looking for a job?”
“For the baby…I have to buy a ton of stuff-”
“We. We have to buy stuff for the baby. This is a team effort. We’ll give you the money you need. You don’t have to worry about that.” He waves you off.
“How? We don’t get paid, Dean. Besides, it’ll only be part-time.”
“You’re pregnant, Y/N.” Dean tells you, as if you didn’t already know.
“I’m only in my first trimester, Dean.” You remind him.
“Wait, aren’t you three months?” Dean asks, confused.
He obviously needs some clarification. “The first trimester is the first three months.”
“I’m three months which means I’m reaching the end of my first trimester but that’s not the point. The point is, being pregnant doesn’t make me incapable of working.” You explain. “Lots of women work during their pregnancy. Some will even work up until they’re in labor. And what else am I supposed to do? I stopped hunting the moment I found out I was pregnant. I’ve only been doing research this entire time. I’m going to go crazy if I have to stay in this house for my entire pregnancy.”
Dean turns to Sam. “What do you think?”
“I think she’s going to do what she wants regardless of what you or I tell her, Dean.” Sam tells him with a hint of a chuckle.
“Exactly.” You agree as Dean turns his attention back to you. “I just wanted to tell you because I didn’t want you to get worried if, at times, you come home and I’m not here.”
He relents. “Okay, fine.”
“Cool. I’m gonna go and start asking around.”
You’re about to walk out of the kitchen when Dean stops you. “Wait. Would you mind getting groceries while you’re out?”
“Sure. Give me the list and I’ll get them.”
“There’s a lot on the list so Sam will go with you.”
The comment makes Sam put his coffee down. “What?”
“She’s not going to be able to carry it all by herself, Sam.
“And why can’t you go?” Sam asks.
“I think you two should bond some more.” Dean says simply.
You step in. “Yeah, I don’t think that’s really necessary.”
“You guys barely talk to each other.” Dean points out.
“So?” Sam asks.
“Don’t you two think you should put all of your crap aside, y'know, for the kid?” Dean turns to Sam. “Sam, I know you’re not exactly thrilled about becoming a dad but it’s happening, soulless or not. Y/N needs more than your protection. She needs your support. So you better get it together.” Dean finishes and you kind of want to hug him.
Sam rolls his eyes. “Fine, I’ll go.”
“Don’t look so excited, Sam.” You remark.
“I’ll try not to.” Sam responds, giving you a sarcastic smile.
Now it’s your turn to roll your eyes. “Can I have the list, Dean?”
“Sure thing, kiddo.”
After getting the list and grabbing your jacket, you leave with Sam in his car. The drive to the supermarket is pretty much silent. Sam has nothing to say to you and you have nothing to say to Sam. It’s true, what Dean said. You and Sam haven’t really talked since Crowley decided to hold you hostage. What are you and Sam supposed to talk about anyway? Your pregnancy? You know he could not care less about your pregnancy. He doesn’t even want the kid for God’s sake. According to him, his only job is to protect and provide. Nothing less and nothing more.
It only takes you and Sam about twenty minutes, give or take, to get to the supermarket. The supermarket’s a little bigger than you thought it would be. There are about 12 or 13 aisles in total. By the amount of the people in here, you guess this is the only supermarket around for miles.
“You want to split up, save some time?” You ask, looking up at Sam.
“Sure. What is it you want me to get?”
You pull the list out of your pocket, carefully tear it half and hand it to Sam. Sam quickly looks over the list and nods.
“Cool?” You ask.
“Yep. Call me if you need anything.” Sam tells you before he basically runs away.
“Sure.” You mutter as you walk the opposite of Sam’s direction. As you walk, you start to read the list. The very first item on the list is pie. It’s written in capital letters with several exclamations following it. You chuckle to yourself and head over to the frozen food section, where they have ice cream and frozen pastries. After a couple of minutes, you find a stack of frozen pies. Most of them are Apple, which is perfect. Now that you’ve found the pie, you’re able to focus on everything else on the list. You start by getting the meat and spices. Next are the vegetables and the fruit, along with cases of beer. Following that is the bread, coffee, and some junk food. After ten minutes you’re almost though the entire list, with the items tucked safely in a shopping cart you picked up along the way. Feeling constricted by your jacket, you take it off and stuff in it the cart. You’re strolling through the toiletry aisle, looking at the paper towels to your right when you hear your name. You take your eyes off the Bounty and look forward where you see no other than Brady, your former college classmate.
You break out into a smile. “Brady!”
Brady seems just as excited as you are and momentarily leaves his cart to greet you. He happily walks over to you and you engulf him in your arms, hugging him tight.
“Hey, stranger.” Brady say as you two pull away from each other. “How’ve you been?”
“Good! I’ve been good.” You respond, nodding. “And you?”
“Same. We gotta stop meeting like this.” Brady jokes.
“I agree. People will think we’re in cahoots.” You say with a chuckle.
“I wouldn’t mind.” Brady shrugs with a smile. “But I bet your boyfriend would.”
“Just a little.” You say, making a gesture with your thumb and your trigger finger.
“How is he, by the way?”
“Sam? He’s good. So what are you doing here?” You ask, changing the subject. You don’t mention Sam’s in the market because then Brady’s going to expect for you to introduce them both. You remember Sam’s reaction the night you went out for drinks with Brady. Yeah, not a good idea for them to meet.
“I’m just buying some chips and beer.” He lifts up his basket to show you. “I’m having a guy’s night at my place.”
“Are you guys watching a game? I mean, I just ask because when guys get together and drink and eat junk food, it’s usually to watch a sport.”
Brady smiles. “You’re right on the money. There’s a football game on tonight.”
“Sounds like fun.”
“It is.” He nods. “Hey, we should have another night out at the bar.”
“I would but I can’t. At least not for another six months.” You reply.
Brady frowns, not understanding. “Why?”
“Um, well, I’m pregnant.” You reveal with some hesitation. You know Brady has a small crush on you.
Brady’s eyes widen. “Oh?”
You nod, confirming it. Yeah.“
"Wow,” He runs a hand through his hair. “You’re pregnant! That’s Amazing.” He nods to himself. “Just amazing…How far along are you?”
“She’s almost four months.” You feel a hand go around your waist and you look up to see your soulless ‘boyfriend’. “Hi, I’m Sam.” He holds out his hand for Brady to take.
“Brady.” Brady responds as he accepts the gesture and shakes Sam’s hand. “Nice to meet you. I’ve heard a lot about you.”
Sam nods, a small smile on his face even though his eyes tell a different story. “I wish I could say the same.” His passive-aggressive comment does not go unnoticed by Brady or by you.
You step in before Sam or Brady can say anything else. “Brady, uh, went to college with me.”
Sam keeps his eyes on Brady. “Nice.” Is all he says.
It’s obvious Sam is making Brady uncomfortable but it seems he’s trying his best not to make it any more awkward. “Yeah. Congrats on the baby, man.”
“Thanks. We’re very excited.” Sam responds as he gives your waist a gentle squeeze.
“I bet.” Brady nods and checks his watch. “So, uh, I should be really going now but it was a pleasure to meet you, Sam. Y/N, it was nice seeing you.”
You force a smile while Sam waves as Brady walks off. Your smile quickly fades as you’re stepping away from Sam, his grip on your waist slipping away. “What the hell was that?”
“What?” Sam asks simply.
“The display of the dominance. Your hand around my waist while you stared him down.” You answer, exasperated.
He shrugs. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Really? So you wouldn’t mind if I tracked him down and talked to him?” You ask as you put your hands on your hips.
“You’re mine, Y/N.” Sam says, his tone low and serious.
“I’m not a freaking object, Sam.” You say, your tone now matching his. “And Brady’s my friend! You can’t just treat him that way.”
“I know you’re not.” He answers, ignoring the latter part of your response.
“No, I don’t think you do. You can’t just act like you don’t care about me and then try to stake your claim on me when I’m around another man. Especially if that man is my friend.” You explain. “It’s disrespectful. It’s also hurtful. You might not have feelings but other people do. I do. Be mindful of them.” You say as you grip the handle on your cart. You don’t give Sam the chance to reply. You don’t really want to hear what he has to say anyway. “Let’s just get this done with. I still have to talk to the manager about the job.” You tell him before you start to push the cart forward.
After getting the rest of the items on the list and giving in your resume to the manager, you leave the market. As Sam helps you put grocery bags in the trunk, he starts to speak. “You’re not a possession. I know that. You’re your own person and you know how to take care of yourself. I admire that.”
You look up, meeting his gaze, thinking about his words. “Then you know that I don’t need you to act all alpha male when there’s no reason to be.”
Sam sighs as he grips the top of the trunk. “I know.” He says, nodding to himself. “It’s just something that’s difficult to control. It’s my-”
“Instinct.” You finish for him. “I know.”
“I know you don’t appreciate when I say you’re mine-”
“I only told you one out of the two reasons I don’t appreciate it.” You admit to Sam.
“What’s the other?” Sam asks, curiosity in his light eyes.
“The other reason is that…With the exception of marriage, I couldn’t be any more yours if I tried. Even soulless, I’m madly in love with you. I’m having your child for crying out loud. Not Brady’s, not any other man’s, yours.” You say as your finger pokes his chest, driving your point home. “Whether you like it or not, I’m tied to you. I’m yours. Forever.”
The next thing Sam does takes you by complete surprise. He kisses you. And it’s not just any kiss. This kiss is hungry and desperate. It tells you that he wants to devour you here and now. You hear the trunk slam shut before Sam pulls you in closer, one hand caressing your ass while the other’s gripping the back of your neck. You moan into Sam’s mouth when the hand caressing your ass makes its way to the front of your jeans, unbuckling them before it slips into the denim, cupping your mound through your cotton underwear. He rubs just the right way and sends waves of pleasure through you. You enjoy the feeling for a few seconds before remembering you’re in the middle of a parking lot. Your lips leave Sam’s.
“Sam,” You pant. “W-We’re in public.”
“Relax, there’s no one around.” He reassures you as he nibbles on your ear. “If you’re really worried, why don’t you get in the backseat of the car and let me take care of you?” You look up into his eyes, now darkened by lust. Usually you would oppose doing things like this, especially in broad daylight, but your raging hormones coupled with what Sam’s doing with his hand, makes you lose all judgement. You nod your head. Sam smirks at you, obviously pleased, and sneaks his hand out of your pants.
The next couple of minutes are a blur as you two quickly get into the backseat of the car, both of you pulling your pants down in a haste to get a release. You bite back a moan as Sam enters you, your inner walls expanding to accommodate his intimidating size. You grip the leather seats as Sam begins to thrust into you, the force of it making his hips crash into yours. The ache from the collisions gives you a thrilling mix of pain and pleasure, increasing your already heightened state of mind.
“Fuck, I’ve missed you.” Sam mutters into your skin before he presses his needing lips to your panting lips. You open your mouth when Sam’s tongue begs for entrance, snaking its way in before it meets with yours. No more is said as Sam continues to move inside you, never slowing down until both of you climax, finally getting what you craved. You both lay there, breathing heavily and reveling in post-coital bliss. After about a minute of catching his breath, Sam lifts his head and gives you a lazy smile.
“What?” You ask, not being to help smiling along with him.
“Regret that?” He asks with a raise of an eyebrow.
“You’re such a dick!” You laugh as you playfully shove him.
“I know.” He replies with a cocky smile.
You take in his smile, though cocky, is a wonderful sight. You really do love him. And, in his own weird way, he cares for you. You start thinking about the appointment you have tomorrow. Maybe he’ll come. “Sam?”
“So I have this appointment tomorrow. It’s a regular checkup thing but I think I’ll be able to find out the sex of the baby. Do you, maybe, wanna go?”
“Is it necessary for me to go?”
“No,” You sigh. “But it would mean a lot to me if you were there.” You pause. “Never mind, I can always ask Charlie or Brady-”
“No. I’m coming.” He says firmly.
You knew once you mentioned Brady you would get him. “Really?”
Sam nods. “You’re mine. Both of you.” He reminds you as he slips a hand under your shirt and palms your small bump. There’s no dominance in his tone this time. Just protectiveness.
pass with Kylo Ren and General Hux gone for training, leaving you
distracted but still determined to solve the medical mystery on board
with Talia. Resolving to stop living a half life while waiting, you
take a night for yourself only to have it interrupted.
in this chapter:
Dr Talia Minoross, Captain Phasma, Kylo Ren, lots and lots of brains,
Pickles the cat
before had time seemed to move so slowly as it did over the next two
day that Kylo Ren was supposed to return loomed in the distance,
catching your every thought. That kiss sat on your lips like a ghost
of a memory, wishing to be alive, to be free. You wanted nothing
more than to see him again, to run your fingers through his wild hair
and bring his face to yours. How you were supposed to wait two weeks
was beyond you. It may as well have been a millennia.
So, the concert is in less that a month (OMFG!!) and I’m compiling a list of all the Swifties going to the Brisbane @taylorswift concert, according to various ‘reblog this if your coming lists’ plus some of your blogs I’ve just seen around. If you’re going to be at the Brisbane show 05/12/15 and you’re not on this list, then pm me and I’ll add you. Also, pm me your seats and I’ll add them. Hopefully we can have a meetup before the show and spread the love for Tay :)