air force tech school

Why.

I’m only a young girl, my mind is not fully developed and I don’t know everything,

But here’s what I’ve learned

I’ve learned that black people are the problem

Black people are too loud, too brash and too ugly

Black people are hated by the law

Black people

Black people

Black people

Negros

Negros

Negros

Nigger

As a race we are taught to never show our fear

To hide behind loud voices and bravado

To cajole and joke around after all we’ve fought for

But if we really are so brave,

Why are our young boys slinging “nigga” around their friends?

Why are our young girls kicked out of school for their natural hair?

If we are so brave, so brash, so invincible,

Why am I still afraid?

Why do I fear for my father when he drives to the store at night?

Why do I cringe when my brother walks down the streets of D.C wearing a hoodie?

Why?

What had Mrs. Martin ever done to see her son shot down?

What did our president do to deserve to only be known for his race?

What did we do?

That our people are seen as worthless?

Because that’s how we see ourselves

That’s how you paint over us in every drug bust movie

In every gangsta rap cd

In every look, or reference you dare to grace us with

We are seen as less than

And I want to know why

Why is my race the determining factor in whether I go to college?

Why do my roots matter in my degree?

Why is the color of our skin so important that the police take one look at a victim and sigh as if it were inevitable?

How would you feel if you had to scream and fight for your kids

If they were as helpless as ours?

How would you deal with the stress of wondering if your son will come home from running to the gas station?

How would you feel if the rest of the world looked at you like you were the gum on the bottom of the shoe of humanity?

That every choice you make is wrong?

That racism doesn’t exist?

That your problems don’t matter,

Aren’t worth shit?

How would you feel if everyone treated you as though you were black?

I’m only a young girl, my mind is not fully developed and I don’t know everything,

But here’s what I’ve learned

That a black man born has a 29% chance of spending time in prison.

That black males have the highest incarceration rate of any ethnicity.

That one out of nine black men will be in jail between the ages of 20 and 34.

That 50% of all incarcerated black males are innocent

50% of all black men are innocent

50%

Black men

Innocent

I’ve learned it’s not that we don’t fear jail

Instead it is a rite of passage.

You need to go to jail so you can have that badge of honor.

Three generations of African-American men currently in the criminal justice system.

What is that teaching our boys?

Go to jail be a man?

Roam the streets you’re a hero?

When we are already downgraded to less than we chose to be locked up as well?

When we already have too many Treyvon Martins, to many Jordan Davis

Jail is a legacy we cannot afford to pass from father to son

On the street is not a home

I’m only a young girl, my mind is not fully developed and I don’t know everything

But here’s what I know

My father is a 23 year veteran of the united states air force

My brother graduated tech school and currently attends college to earn his degree

My mother holds a high standing position in a company run primarily by the very people who hate us

83% of blacks 25 and older have a high school diploma or higher

18% of blacks 25 and older have a bachelor’s degree or higher.

1.6 million blacks , the number that have an advanced degree

3.7 million blacks were enrolled in college in 2012

I’ve learned that to be the best,

I have to look the whitest

Be the thinnest

Sound the girliest.

I’ve learned my friends, though supportive and understand-ing will never understand /me /

That they’ll never understand where I’m coming from

That the world is against me

That the country I pledge myself to every morning, is trying its hardest to beat me down

And the only person I can rely on is me

I’m only a young woman, a young black woman, my mind is not fully developed and I don’t know everything.

I know it's "service before self" but..

Sometimes it’s just SO frustrating not being able to talk to Gage as often as I’d like. And when I’m finally able to, he’s just so tired I almost feel guilty keeping him awake any longer than he needs to be. So I’m stuck between wanting to talk to him and wanting him to get a decent amount of rest/ stay on task with what he’s doing. Which leads me to being ONE GIANT EMOTIONAL WRECK. And then I start to beat myself up for getting so worked up over something so silly. This whole military thing is just annoying.

So nice

It’s great to actually do your own workouts outside of your tech school PT. Instructors are pretty chill with PT except on the first day, where everything is supposed to push you and make you work harder. After that you’re expected to be an adult and take care of yourself and maintain a healthy lifestyle. Lucky I also have a wingman to workout with so we don’t both get lazy. Makes any workout easier when you know someone is sharing the pain and gain with you.