ai york



The amazing @saladsnek made this for me and I am in love.

They recently took chibi and sketch commissions - I reblogged the post a week or two ago.  It was $5 for this masterpiece.  FIVE FREAKING DOLLARS.  WHY DO YOU NOT HAVE ONE YET BECAUSE YOU SHOULD.

Now excuse me, I’m going to grab my phone, sit on the couch and stare at this with shining eyes. If you need me any time in the next hour, that’s where I’ll be.

Imagine the Freelancers visiting a water park 

- York wants to go on all of the more dangerous slides and keeps running by the side of the pools, so North is sent to follow him around to stop him from doing something really stupid
- Carolina and Tex end up having a competition over who can ride the most extreme water slides the most times 
- Everyone keeps pushing Connie into the pool in places that are out of her depth
- Florida looses his hairtie half way down a waterslide and comes out the other end looking like the girl from the grudge 
- The chlorine plays hell with Wyoming’s hair and he can’t get his moustache to lie flat for a few days afterwards 
- Maine is too tall to use the waterslides so he ends up dragging Wash around the pool on a rubber ring 
- South holes herself up in the corner of one of the pools and engages anyone who comes near her in a violent splash-fight
- Wash loses his swimming shorts when he tries to jump off the diving board
- They all have to leave when someone attempts to harass Connie and Florida goes into protective dad mode™ and dropkicks the guy into the nearest pool and gets kicked out for violent behaviour. Before leaving, Florida assures the lifeguard that tells him to leave that the damage would have been worse if he had let Connie fight back

bonus points for modern aus where the ai are there as people

- Delta and Epsilon are sent to supervise Theta in the kids pool but lose sight of him within a few minutes because neither of them could bring their glasses into the pool
- Gamma gets asked to leave after he is found by the kids pool telling the children that they’ll die if they accidentally drink the pool water
- Omega gets a few moments of glory where he manages to chase everyone out of the wave pool and declares himself ‘pool overlord’, before a lifeguard tells him to stop hitting people with floats to get them out of the way
- They all lose sight of Sigma, then find him an hour later submerged under the water of one of the pools, coming up for breath only occasionally. it’s widely agreed that the fact that Sigma can open his eyes under the water and stay there for minutes at a time is unsettling to say the least

Some friendly reminders that...
  1. Agent York and Agent North were best friends
  2. Delta was York’s AI and Theta was Agent North’s
  3. Delta and Theta considered each other brothers
  4. Agent South was the one that directly caused the death of her brother, who was York’s best friend
  5. The death of her brother that she caused also caused Theta being assimilated into the Meta
  6. So South caused the death of Delta’s partner’s best friend and the ‘death’ of his own little brother, and lastly…
  7. Delta was the one that recommended killing Agent South

Imagine Agent Florida dragging the other Freelancers on a camping trip
- Wyoming attempting to make tea over a tiny, really shitty camping stove, because he ran out of the stuff he was keeping in a flask within a few hours
- York’s failed attempts to get the disposable barbecue they brought to work
- Maine not fitting in any of the sleeping bags they brought, so he ends up just lying in the one-person tent with his feet sticking out the door
- Florida bringing a guitar and dragging everyone around a campfire to sing songs
- Wash finding a cat on the walk to the campsite and insisting on keeping it in his tent
- Carolina and Tex both attempting to sabotage the others’ tent by pulling out the pegs and cutting the ropes that hold them up. They both wake up to find their tents have collapsed on top of them
- North literally being the only one who knows properly how to put up a tent and he spends at least an hour walking around and trying to stop everyone from stabbing each other with the tent poles
- South and CT almost setting fire to everyone’s stuff when they thought it would be a good idea to pour the fuel for the camping stove onto the campfire

Bonus points if the ai are there too:

- Delta following York around while trying to inform him that no that is not how you turn on a barbecue Agent York please stop kicking it you need to use it
- Sigma having to remind Wash that he isn’t actually on fire, and that putting a stick with a marshmallow on it through him will not cause it to start toasting
- Everyone lying in their tents, and everything is quiet, until there’s a sudden statement of ‘knock knock’ from Gamma followed by a collective noise of anger from every single person’s tent
- Theta making a fireworks display by the campfire
- Omega threatening to fight every single bit of wildlife that they walk past

Fluff War - Prankster

Putting these two together.  @pipa-charm & @iammadeofnightmares - here you go!

Theta was hiding something.

When you live every hour of your life sharing the contents of your mind with someone else, you learn that privacy is a luxury.  Yes, you can learn to build barriers of a sort, block the other person from reading your thoughts plainly, hiding your mood, masking your bond.  The problem is, you can’t hide that you are doing it.  They are aware of that barrier.  

North was aware of Theta’s barrier now.

It wasn’t alarming.  They both used them on occasion and never had hidden anything serious from each other.  It’s in your best interests to be on the same page with the person who shares your head- when one of you suffers, you both suffer, and no barrier they could construct could change that.  

Also, they never attempted to block each other completely.  Their barriers were more like pieces of a wall that they could crouch behind, an admission that something is being hidden, but reassurance that the other person could at any time approach the wall and see what was behind it, if they chose to.  They never had, and held each others’ limited privacy with respect.

So when North could feel Theta’s bubbling humour despite the barrier, when he felt the distant tickling sensation of Theta speaking with someone else, he very carefully didn’t smile.  He focused completely on removing the last of his armour, and he tried to shove down the realization that popped up in his mind.

They’re playing a joke.  

No.  Focus on the armour.  He tried to keep his mind blank and still like a ripple-less pond, empty except for the thought of how he liked to hang everything just so in his locker.  

Don’t guess when it might happen.  Don’t think about what it might be.  Let him surprise you.  He loves this.  Don’t spoil it.

He became aware of whispering voices behind him, stifled giggling matched with the same sensation of bubbles rising over the barrier.  As he placed his last piece of armour on its hook, he finally realized that his clothes were missing.

Here we go.

“Theta?”  North didn’t need to call out to find out where Theta was - if he closed his eyes, he’d be able to point straight at him - but this was a chance to give them a heads up that he was on his way.  Might as well do this right.

North stepped around a bank of lockers to find Wash arranging himself in an oh-so-casual pose, leaning against a locker.  On his shoulder, Theta copied his pose exactly, leaning against the side of Wash’s head.  North couldn’t quite keep a smile from his face.  “Wash?  Theta?  Do you know what happened to my clothes?”  

“Haven’t touched them, haven’t seen them!” Wash’s relaxed smile gave North pause.  Wash was a terrible liar.  If he had done it, he’d be stammering and blushing, no way he’d be this poised.  So where did they –

North saw Wash’s eyes flick past him, and at the same moment there was a surge of triumph and laughter as Theta’s barrier fell.

There was pressure around his throat as someone caught the back of his undersuit, pulling it away from his neck.  Instinct made North strike out, trying to twist to grab the person behind him, and heard a half-gasp, half-laugh as York danced backwards out of his reach.  As York released his undersuit, the fabric snapped back and North let out a gasp of his own as it pinned something small, hard and cold against his neck.  The ice cube began to melt almost immediately and the trickle of freezing cold water down his back rallied an army of goosebumps across his body.  All attempts to grab the ice out of the neck of his suit only made it slide lower, and he finally snaked an arm behind his back to just keep it from sinking to embarrassing depths, and tried to ignore how the melt seemed to do that just fine on its own.  

Theta’s glee was ringing in his head, and he could see him still projected on Wash’s shoulder, bent over as though breathless.  Wash saw North looking over and pointed at his own shoulder, mouthing “it was Theta’s idea!” York had moved into his line of vision again, but a safe distance away, grinning widely, arms folded, attention divided between North and Theta.  For the life of him, York and Wash looked like two proud uncles, determined to pass on a lifetime’s expertise in trouble-making to the next generation.  

Theta flickered from Wash’s shoulder and returned to North’s.  At the same time, North felt him active in his head, embracing and sharing North’s discomfort, removing the sharpness of the cold and raising North’s body heat slightly so the last of the ice melted quickly and dripped down his suit (which wasn’t actually a help, but North tried to convince himself it was.)  Then Theta was hovering in front of him, pulsing with excitement.  “How was that, North?  Was that a good one?  You aren’t mad are you?”  The last question was accompanied by a flicker so brief that North might have missed it, had it not been paired with a guilty twinge in his head.  

“Not mad at all, Theta.  That was a good one!”  

“So how are we going to get them back?”  Behind Theta, Wash and York waved and walked out of the locker room.  As they passed by, York set North’s missing clothes in a neat pile on the bench next to him.  North quickly stripped off his wet undersuit and started dressing.

As North pulled his shirt over his head, he leaned forward towards Theta and grinned.  “Get them back?  Sounds like you were the mastermind here - shouldn’t I be getting you back?”

Theta leaned forward too.  “Yeah, but that wouldn’t be as much fun!”

“What, for you or me?  I can really vividly remember a tickle fight I had with South once when we were seven…”

“No no no no no!!”

Theta glowed in his mind - his happiness and affection were almost tangible, a blanket of sunshine wrapped around North, and North included Theta in the sensation, shared his delight.  It felt like being hugged from the inside.  For the briefest moment, North wondered if life with an AI was like this for any of his other teammates, but something told him no.  He cut the thought away before it had the chance to grow sad.  

“Okay then, so here’s what we’re going to do…” Heads bent together like conspirators, North and Theta walked out of the locker room.

Papa North AU

An AU where Project Freelancer shuts down, the Meta never happened, and everyone keeps their rightful AIs. Asexual Aromantic North returns to Earth and adopts a newborn baby girl.

North just being absolutely in love with his new daughter; she’s absolutely perfect and he loves her little chubby cheeks.

Theta being hesitant about the new squishy human in the house but trying to warm up to his ‘little sister’.

North being pretty used to staying up all night from Theta, so tending to the baby at night isn’t a problem. He stays with her even after she stops crying and before he knows it the sun is out.

Theta making holographs to entertain his sister or calm her down.

Auntie South teaching her niece not to take shit from nobody; she is the main reason the girl punches the her first bully.

North never forgetting to remind his daughter everyday of how beautiful she is and how much he loves her.

North and Theta staying up with the girl to read books beause tHEY NEED TO KNOW WHO DIES

Uncle York getting Delta to make cheat sheets for his niece whenever she has a rest in school.

Uncle Wash buying her a sphinx kitten for a birthday present.

Blanket forts during the winter beause this is a family of nerds.

North obviously isn’t very intimidating but if anyone ever so much as makes his baby girl cry then he will flip his shit.

PTA Dakota Siblings. South flipping the bake sales table and shouting, “FUCKING FIGHT ME HELEN”

Baby North bringing Theta in for show and tell so everyone can meet her tiny holographic big bro.


Daddy North and Freelancer family. Please.

York is a huge AI stan and he gets so ticked around “we’re all going to be enslaved by AI! we’re relying too much on artificial intelligence! the end is nigh!” type fearmongering. And the arguments are always awkward because eventually the person’s like ‘and what do YOU know about AI’ because he is obviously not someone who has a phd in AI theory but he can’t admit to sharing a consciousness with an Actual AI so he’s just like “I read it on the internet bye”