ahs:3x3

So I got to thinking the other day, why does every FAH story I’ve read always have the crew as an established front? Like where’s the fic where Geoff owes a shitload of money and in order to pay it back he comes up with a plan to rob a casino (or a bank whichever) and he goes to his closest friend Jack for help. And at first she’s like “Fuck dude, you’re one your own” but then she comes around and she’s like “What do you need from me?” And Geoff’s like “Fuck if I know, I’ve never robbed anything before.”

So together, the two of them start doing research and realize they’re going to need a crew. So they start poking around the criminal underground or whatever, trying to find someone willing to help, and they kind of stumble on this two-bit hacker. And Gavin is like “Am I going to get paid? And if yes, when can I start?” So once they agree to pay him (which means they have to steal more money) Gavin uses what little contacts he has to find a sniper (Ray) willing to help. But Ray wants money, too, so they have to steal even more. And then they find a demolitions expert who’s getting bored working at construction sights and wants to expand his horizons, but again Michael wants payment. And then Jack starts thinking she wants to get paid, too, and Geoff’s just like “This plan is a disaster.”

But the heist comes together, and these guys have no idea what they’re doing so they’re mostly winging it, and the day of the heist some masked weirdo shows up out of the blue, just sitting on Geoff’s couch, and Ryan’s like “I heard there’s money involved I want in.”

So Geoff, who is half asleep and doesn’t even want to argue, somehow finds a spot for Ryan and these six idiots who have never robbed a bank head out to do just that and it goes to shit. Because of course it does, and the only reason any of them survive is because two freelance assassins step in and afterward Geoff is like “I suppose you two want to get paid too?” And Lindsay and Jeremy share a glance before shrugging and Lindsay says “A thank you would have been enough, but who the fuck says no to money?”

Basically I really want an amateur thieves FAHC au.

FAHC Headcanon that when Ray leaves he has to kind of ‘disappear’ for reasons I haven’t thought about, so the guys have no idea where he is or how he’s doing 

  • So time passes and it’s just been radio silence from Ray
  • but after about a month a mystery sniper shows up in Los Santos, and every so often when the crew is in a major bind after a heist goes wrong he comes to their aid
  • But they’ve never actually seen who they are
  • And yeah the thought crosses their minds that only Ray Narvaez Jr. has that kind of accuracy, but they decide they’ll hear from him when they hear from him, and be glad that whoever the sniper is had their backs
  • Ryan knows its him, but doesn’t want to get his hopes up on the off chance it isn’t
  • Michael is absolutely positive that it’s Ray, I mean he’s known the motherfucker since they were kids there’s no doubt in his mind it’s him
  • Fast forward a few weeks ‘the sniper’ comes to their aid again during a scuffle with a rival crew, and just for a second, Michael notices a flash of purple coming from a window of the building across the street
  • Cut to viral youtube video of notorious criminal Michael “Mogar’ Jones sprinting across the street smiling and yelling “Got you this time asshole!” Followed by the entire Fake AH crew
  • They just miss him, but whoever it was  (it was ray) leaves them a quick note ‘Can’t catch the fuck train if it’s got no breaks’ with idk like a shitty drawing of a train with sunglasses, something stupid like that