ahs:-s1-e3

Jack is thinking of course Miss Fisher is here and guarding a body.  Not surprised one bit.  Nice outfit!

Hugh is thinking OMG!  OMG!  OMG!  There are have naked women and Miss Fisher is here!  OMG what if Dottie is here?  Keep eyes on the ground.  Maybe the Inspector will send me back to the station for anything.  OMG I’m at the Green Mill and my mother will see it on my face.  AND Dottie will know too!!!!!!

Smash It
Fuzz Townshend
Smash It

FUZZ TOWNSEND ‘Smash It’
from the album ‘FAR IN’
1999 Fruition

This tracks comes in, just as we whip over to the reception of ‘FLAPS’ magazine for some Patrick Cox confusion.
Fuzz Townsend’s album ‘FAR IN’ is a rather overlooked little gem, which we shall be hearing more of later.

S1 E3 part 11

back at the condo, the bachelorette gets yet another piece of correspondence that harkens back to the days when pen pals used real pens. she’s so lucky. inside the envelope is, a totally fake-looking bleached skull: 

a nice process photo of somebody making capsules:

aaaaand OMG!

wait does it say BROTHER on her homeopathic bottle OMG YES IT DOES!

then there’s also a picture of the guy she killed with his arm around OMG OMG OMG!!!!!!!!!

so like PROBABLY THIS LADY IS THE SISTER OF THE GUY THE GIRL KILLED AND SHE TRICKED THE GIRL INTO EATING HIS BONES USING SPAM! the crime of the century. there’s no way that plan COULDN’T have worked, right? anyway it’s cool that the guy’s bones have such powerful calming abilities. fuck western medicine, guys, seriously.

S1 E3 part 12

so meanwhile, the blonde and her giant punishing dildo never show up for business guy, and the freaky brunette pops up again, covered in blood. the blood definitely doesn’t bother the guy anywhere near as much as the fact that the desired sex worker hasn’t arrived, so he makes another complaint.

this show is so consistently awful that i have no way of telling whether this comment is sarcastic, “i’m saying THE OTHERS when i mean just one person over and over!”, or whether this guy is really so stupid that he thinks literally several identical versions of the same woman have visited him one after the other.

while he’s on the phone, the girl comes in with a big bloody knife and rips off her lumpy jacket to reveal i guess a really big tube top, and some ugly hot pants. the guy chooses to just go ahead and fuck her, which i suppose isn’t so nuts now that we know he’ll do literally anything sexual if whatever it is is all that’s available. 

maybe you’re also supposed to think, “i should have KNOWN he would do this because he killed that guy with a bus in the beginning! HE’S just as crazy as SHE is!” did you, the reader, feel like you had time to think about that? did you keep the bus murder in your mind this entire time, waiting for it to become relevant as a sort of character testimony? did it matter to you?

setting that aside, why is this girl doing this? is this a joke about how she’ll murder a bunch of hookers just to get laid by a desperate john? is that funny? what was this all about? do you care? i hope you don’t, because you won’t find out.