ahhh i'm not as happy with this as i wanted to be but it's done

Piece by Piece (Shingen x R/Y)

WARNING: SMUT! Please don’t read if you’re not into smut! And I’m sorry if this isn’t good enough since this is my first time with smut DX Please don’t judge DX

You smile, looking at Shingen who held you in his arm. You reach a hand up and cup his cheeks, staring into his eyes. You loved him so much, without him you didn’t know what you could’ve done to yourself. Shingen took your hand in his and kisses your fingertips, a smirk on his face.

“Something wrong?” He asks, a hand already tracing your sides.

“Nothing.” You laugh, pulling your hand away from his grip then you stood up and lean towards him. “I was just… thinking about something.”

You smirk at him before licking your lower lip. You then walk your fingers across his chest and then pulled his bedding robe off his shoulder. You lean in more until both your lips touch. You pressed in harder, wanting to taste him more and in response, he places his hands on your hips and pushed you down onto his futon.

Positioning you under him while himself between you, he entwine your tongues together. His hands already busying himself trying to tear open your robe and you too, busy your hands trying to remove the fabric that separates his skin from your skin.

Breaking the kiss, Shingen looks at and you were finally able to remove his robe off him. He runs a hand across your body and gropes your breast, lighting pinching your nipples that had gotten hard. Shingen pulled you up while he sat and throbs his member in front of you, rubbing it up and down in front of you, watching as your eyes began to lighten up a little. It was a sign for him to know that you were getting wet and your lust for him was uncontrollable.

His movement stops and he smiles at you. “Come here.” His says. “Want a taste?”

He didn’t need to ask. You slowly crawled to him and take his member in your hands. You rubbed it up and down, feeling his member harden each time. Slowly, you stick out your tongue and lick the tip of his member. You open your mouth a little wider and suck the tip of his hard member. Shingen groans, feeling the pleasure from having his member in your mouth. He reached a hand over and without warning roughly slips a hand into your sex.

“You’re so wet…” Shingen says in a husky voice.

Thrusting his member in and out of your mouth, the tip of your tongue brushing the tip of his hard member, teasing him. He groans and places his hands on your head and thrust his member faster in your mouth. He finally gives one more thrust until he pulls your mouth away from his member, pushing you down once more and spills his seeds on your stomach.

“Milord…” You spoke. “I….”

You stop. There was no use saying anything to him. You couldn’t control yourself anymore. Even after his member was just in your mouth you want him in you. You look at him in the eye and open you legs, spreading them for him while you reach a finger down and run it along your folds.

“Milord.” You plead to him. “Please… I…. Ahhh…”

Shingen stares at you while you slips a finger in yourself, playing with your sex and moan out his name.

“You’re a naughty girl aren’t you?” Shingen smirks at you.

He moves between you legs again and lifts your hips up to meet his. He pulls your hands away and pins them above your head. He leans down and locks his lips on your skin, sucking it hard. You cried out for him, feeling the ache. He removes his lips and place them on another spot, sucking hard until it leaves a red mark before he places it onto another spot.

You struggle, trying to break free yourself from his grip, but he was too strong. Not being able to hold it anymore, you wrap both your legs around his waist and pull him down, letting the tip of his member rub against her wet sex.

Shingen smirks at your reaction. He rubs his tip harder and faster against your clit, feeling your body tense up. This isn’t your first time having taken to his bed yet your body will reacts to his action and he still enjoys watching your body tense up.

As if he had his fun, he roughly, without warning, thrust his hard member into your wet entrance.

“Ahh!” You cry out the moment he thrust his member deep inside you. He finally releases your hands and you wrap them around his next, a hand gripping on his hair. “M-Milord…”

Enjoying your reactions, Shingen began to move, pulling his member in and out of you. With each thrust, his pace fastens, pulling it out enough just for him to slam it back right in. Your grip on his hair tightens and you moan out his name, despite this was the first time he’s ever done it so hard, hard enough that he has to hold you in place.

“Ah! Lord Shingen!” You spoke. “S-shouldn’t you….”

“No.” Shingen groans out, his breathe shallow. “Don’t….”

You decided to say no more. Although you wanted him to slow down a little, your body rejects it. His member continues to thrust deep inside you, hitting your G-spot and spreading pleasure throughout your body. Your mind sooner went blank and the only thing you can hear was the sound of his heavy breathing and the sound of his skin hitting your skin.

He presses onto you, his lips finding their way up and placing them on your breast, sucking on them hard and circling his tongue around your nipples. Your ache your back up, taking in all the pleasure he was giving you at once.

You felt his member tense a little, and you knew that he was about to reach his climax.

“Ah Milord!” You try to push him up. “Not inside…..”

Shingen didn’t answer you, but continue to thrust in more, deeper and faster. The moment both of you were about to reach your climax, you heard a crack under you. But Shingen didn’t stop demanding your body. The more he demands your body, the more of the cracking sound you hear.

“Wait Milord!” You tried to stop him, realizing that the cracking sound under you was the sound of the tatami mat breaking. “You’re going to break the tatami mat!”

Worried, you gather all your strength and switched position with Shingen, rolling over the side a little just before the mat completely snaps in two. Right at that moment he came inside you.

“Lord Shingen!” You look at him. “we broke the mat.”

Shingen laughed. He pulls you off his member, letting his seeds drip out of you soon wrap you in his arms.

“Guess we’‘ll have to fix it tomorrow then.” He laughs and kisses your forehead.

You pout a little, but there was nothing you can do about you. You spend the rest of night in his chamber, sleeping next to a broken tatami mat.

You had a dream… and in that dream all you can remembered was the back of your first loved one. You gave him your love and everything you possibly can, but he left, just like that in a blink of an eye. His love was never free, it was something that you had to earn and because you weren’t something he wanted, you were worthless.

But you found someone better now. and you were happy. You remembered his amber eyes that never left you the moment you stepped into his palace, his long pure red hair that he always ask you to help pull back and the heat of his body that never left your body the first time he claimed you his.

You have fallen head over heels for the lord of the Takeda clan, the tiger of kai, Takeda Shingen. Unlike him, piece by piece Shingen healed you. Piece by piece he collected your broken heart. Piece by piece he filled the hole that was once burnt into your heart and piece by piece he restored your faith. He loved you. He never asked for anything but you by his side. He never walked away from you. He loved you. Piece by piece, he was everything that you ever needed in the world.

But you snap back to reality the moment you heard someone screaming on top of its lungs. Of course that scream belongs to no one other than poor Yukimura.

~~~~~~~~~~

Thank you for taking your time to read XD It’s because I hate going on hiatus and it hurts so much not being able to write. Anyways Sorry that I’m bad at smut `^^` I’m still trying to improve. So sorry I don’t know much Shingen lover out there.

@shingenelena There sis! I got it! Sorry it took hours to write XD

@fureiaa for inspirations XD XD XD

@parawhore212

@kitty-kat-ty (if you don’t mind me )

@chictheatre (thought you might be interested since I love your Shingen Fic 😉😉)
Morning Call

“The usual morning of Yohane-sama…”

“Chu~~” Yoshiko tried to open her eyes as she felt that there’s something that has been touching her cheek for a moment now

“This is…, don’t tell me…” wondered Yoshiko as she finally found the source of the sensation of kiss she felt for a while now “As I thought…, she’d done it again…”

“Yohane-sama…, loveeee you… so much…” mumbled the girl beside the fallen angel

“Riko…it’s enough. Wake up, please… I can’t get up if you keep on holding and kissing me like this!” said the junior as she tried to escape the hug from the mistress of cuddle (Yoshiko called Riko that for a while now)

“No way… Another five minutes…Mmmmmmmmhhhmm…” the girl kept on mumbling

“C’mon, we have to get ready for class today.” the junior tried to reason with the older girl

“Dont want to… I’m sleepy…” said Riko as her lips pursued the source of the voice that has been beautifully exchanging words with her

“Oi,, stop i– stop it, Riko!! Ah~ no, that place is…” Yoshiko unconsciously moaned after the senior found her way to her neck after kissing her lips

“Mmmmmm~ delicious Yohane-sama…” she kept on giving pecks on the neck of her beloved junior

“No~ Riko, no!! It’ll leave marks… Ahhh~~” Yoshiko couldn’t control her voice as she received a barrage of kiss on her gorgeous neck

“Yummy~” the senior was grinning in between of her kisses

Pissed off as she was assaulted in the wake of a morning, Yoshiko finally managed to got her left hand free of the bear hug from Riko. While she doing her best to withstand the ‘marking ceremony’ her senior has been doing for a while now, she cupped that senior’s face and she stared at the grinning girl

“Morning, Yohane-sama…”

“Don’t ‘morning, Yohane-sama…’ me! What are you doing, assaulting me in your sleep?”

“Ehehehe~”

“Stop that grinning!!”

“Eh~~~ It’s your fault for giving me that surprise hug last night, Yohane-sama. I was so happy I fantasized about what would happen next, and without knowing it, it continued in my dream… What a wonderful dream~”

“Pervert! All I did was giving you a hug for your graduation!”

“Is that so? Well…, whatever the case it’s all because of you, Yohane-sama~”

“What the!!? Oh my gosh… it’s my fault for trying to reason with you who’s still half-asleep like this… Now, please release your hug…”

“No.”

“Why?”

“I don’t want to. My energy is not fully charged yet…”

“What am I, a battery?!”

“Well, yes…, mine, that is… hehehe”

“You’re getting more absurd the longer we spent our time together…, you know that?”

“Well, that is also your fault, Yohane-sama…”

“So in the end, it’s all my fault, huh?”

“Yes.”

“Okay then. If that’s the case, then I will stop giving you a hug or even a kiss if something bad or good happen. That way it’ll not be my fault, right?”

“Ehhhhhhh~ Don’t do that, Yohane-sama!! How can I recharge my energy without your love every day??”

“Don’t care!”

“So cruel…”

“A greedy girl like you need punishment, after all…”

“But I didn’t do anything wrong~”

“Oh, is that so? Then, giving me kissing mark almost all over my neck is not a proof of your guilt, huh?”

“They’re not a proof of guilt, Yohane-sama… They’re a proof of love…”

“What kind of proof of love that makes you being embarrassed in front of the others, huh? Explain it to me, perverted Riko…!”

“Why do you have to be getting embarrassed just because of kiss marks, Yohane-sama…? Just be the usual proud and mighty Yohane-sama…, you’ll be fine! I’m sure!!” the senior smiled brightly to the pissed junior

“Hooo…, is that so? Then…, if I gave you as much as I got from you all this week for your next upcoming graduation party you won’t mind it, right Riko?” evilish stare to the senior who was surprised

“Ehhhh…, you can’t be serious, right Yohane-sama…? I-I’m not an eccentric girl like you, right? There’s no way I could stand being the focus of attention all day, you know? I’m an unpopular girl, after all… unlike you, Yohane-sama…” getting a bit afraid of the seriousness that was visible in her junior’s eyes

“What are you talking about? You are the most popular girl among your peers and being the center of attention wouldn’t even cause you trouble, right? Like you said, Riko…, they’re proof of love, right?”

“I-I-I do said that…, but…”

“Hehehehe~”

“Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-You can’t be serious, Yohane-sama… Kyaa~~~~!!”

And as Riko tried to escape from the ‘marking ceremony’, Yoshiko managed to grab her left hand and spinned her senior, swiftly cupped the face of her girlfriend and planted a deep kiss on her lips. Feeling that the senior was letting her guard down, Yoshiko quickly released her lips from Riko’s and she stormed her way to the neck of her senior.

“Don’t worry, Riko… I will give you the most beautiful mark on your gorgeous neck… Just leave it to me, okay?”

“Nooooooo….”

The next day, Yoshiko drove her girlfriend to the graduation party and led the naughty girl to her peers as the senior tried her best to cover her neck that was full of kissing marks. Yoshiko evilishly grinned like mad and left her girlfriend that would soon received a barrage of questions from her colleagues.

I want to see you more

Well @just-servamp-trash it is done.

Over 3,000 words later and it being 3:45am here I’ve finally finished your story

I hope its okay now ahhhh

Since you are the angst queen its both angst and fluff so I hope you enjoy muahaha~ the ending is fluffy though I promise

Enjoy your own little slice of Kuro ;) 

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anonymous asked:

Hi there! Can you share with us your favorite Omegaverse fics? Or others stories that inspire you... (By the way, I'm soo addicted to that Neighbor story! You have to continue :DD).

Precious velvet cake anon you have no idea what you have just asked of me.

ALRIGHT so first thing before I do this is my tastes are very specific and so I end up not liking a lot of fic, because if something is off I just stop, aha this is how I end up not liking fics that are super popular in the fandom. ;;; This is also why most of the recs are years old since I don’t read as much these days even though I’m always looking. /o/

Second thing some fics(2) are abandoned. I will still list them because I still think they are GREAT and yea I’m a shitty reccer like that, but I will label them as such. Please be sure to read appropriate warnings on the fics!

Lastly I only read USUK in that order so there’s that to keep in mind.

So onto the recs~

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anonymous asked:

your art is so gorgeous! i'm in love with it! would you mind describing your colouring process or making a tutorial? it's something that i really struggle with and your colouring is phenomenal!

Ahhh thank you so much!! I thought making a tutorial sounded fun so I made a little step by step of my progress for a basic character bust I did recently, (painted in paint tool SAI), I hope it’s helpful! (this may be long so I’ll put it below a read more)

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i’m doing these lil gifts for people have been reblogging, faving, or watching for the past couple months. (If i asked you a question you know you’re up soon  d(ゝ∀・)

30 Days of Techienician: Day 10 Balloons

This time for @jathis

Thank you for being so kind to me ♡´・ᴗ・`♡…this is a bonus for 30 days since i knew i wanted to draw techienician from the start for you, Owl ;3;! All i could think about balloons was pink and the movie “Up”. 

Fly techie fly away but always remember , that Matt’s got you c:! Look at techie’s lil tummy…ahhh ;w;!

Gift so far:

1 , 2 , 3, 4,  5, 6 7, 8

anonymous asked:

Sorry to bother but I saw your post, in your opinion what do you think Armin isn't going to die? Like I myself have seen a lot of theories and have hope, but that hope keeps fading away.

aw it’s never a bother, I’m always open to questions :>>!! ALRIGHT FRIENDS LETS DO THIS

Levi is looking for someone to take the Titan serum AT THIS MOMENT. We have three viable options that could take the serum. Erwin, himself, or Armin. I guess you could argue Sasha and Connie but nah (like after what just happened to Armin nahhh)) ?? I love Erwin, but I think his literal Deadline was ages ago, that man needs to be at peace. I really don’t think Levi wants to inject the serum into himself, he really didn’t seem like he wanted to come down to that option. But seeing how Armin’s self-sacrifice really earned himself worthy of the serum or as I would symbolically call it, a second chance.

Also I think there was a very important reason Levi was listening into this particular conversation.

This will definitely be key in deciding who will get the Titan serum. He knows what these kids are fighting for.

Now how it would play out if Armin got the serum would be interesting. I think this would actually solidify the idea that Armin the narrator. Think about it, the first chapter/ episode of Attack on Titan was named “To You, in 2000 years.” The title itself implies that centuries has passed by, and the narrator (suspiciously voiced by Armin’s voice actor.) is the story teller. Now how could someone (mortal) tell a story that they were apart of that took place lifetimes ago?? Well we’ve already seen Ymir illustrate her ability to not change physically over decades. So if Armin does become a Titan shifter then it makes sense for him to be the narrator.

Armin is a MAIN character, he’s gone through a LOT of character development. To ditch him now in the heat of the story?? I think his death was a demonstration of his true courage and how far he’s come. Do you really think he would have done such a thing in volume 1?? To really see how far he’s come and how believable his struggles have been, it just goes to show why he’s my favorite character!! But I’m just trying to be positive guys, like things could happen 

BUT THE GLASS IS HALF FULL.
HAVE FAITH FRIENDS HE CAN MAKE IT

all your dreams made muddy and black [for old ghosts standing watch over the time-frozen south]

  • devil town | the builders and the butchers
  • don’t wake the scarecrow | the felice brothers
  • red | christian williams
  • down to rest | o'death
  • god damned me | those poor bastards
  • grandfater | munly and the lupercalians
  • it’s nobody’s fault but mine | blind willie johnson
  • marked man | mieka pauley
  • bowels of the beast | the raveonettes
  • golden and green | the builders and the butchers

[listen]

Letters to the R&I Editor (5x09)

I’m sorry (no, I’m not), but some of the stuff in the comments on TNT’s Rizzoli & Isles Facebook page is too funny to just sit there without a response. I know, I know, I shouldn’t read those comments, but that’s the only way to determine how a new episode has been received by all parts of the audience.
And some people have some very valid questions that do deserve some very serious answers. So, I might as well help those poor folks out. Let’s have a short Q&A, shall we?

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anonymous asked:

Hi there!! I've been a huge fan of your writing so far and I'm not quite sure if you're taking anonymous requests at the moment since I am on mobile but, since it's such an interesting topic, I was wondering if you could possibly write a scenario about when MC realizes that huedhaut is the one she loved, and still loves? I just think that it's a beautiful story!!

Firstly, I am terribly sorry for the delay! Writers block has been hitting me like a pile of bricks lately and I was quite busy with RL stuff too but ahhh I wonder whether you’ll still be a fan of my writing since I literally just turned your sweet fanfic request into something angsty. ;n;

When I was trying to think up of fluffy plot ideas, nothing came to me and I ended up losing the motivation to write but when this particular angst idea popped into my head.. I knew I had to do it and I’m really sorry if this wasn’t what you expected or wanted but I truly hope you’ll like it one way or another. (But if you don’t, i totally understand ksnckwndlla)
————————————————————


“Aren’t you glad you came?” Teorus grinned, eyes fixated on the beautiful flowers that surrounded the area.

“Yeah, it is indeed lovely out here.” You nodded, smiling warmly.

Teorus had asked you to join him on an evening stroll and though you were indeed enjoying yourself, you couldn’t help but feel distracted by the thoughts that were running through your mind.

You had come to notice how odd and uncomfortable Huedhaut would act whenever you were in the presence of another god(today was no exception either)and how he would ask you strange questions like whether you had any memory of certain events or other things which you literally didn’t have an answer to. It bothered you that you couldn’t give him the response that he wanted but more than that, you couldn’t understand as to why it troubled you so much.

Why was Huedhaut the only one you paid most attention to? Why did every little thing he did or say affect you personally and why was it that whenever he looked sad, your heart would automatically hurt? As if you felt a connection towards him? It was truly something that you couldn’t wrap your head around.

A defeated sigh escaped your lips as you absentmindedly looked around, only to have a particular flower catch your eyes; It was one that you hadn’t seen before but something about it seemed oddly familiar.

“Hey, what is that?” You asked, pointing at the lilac colored blossom which had tiny cute flowers growing amongst it’s petals.

“That’s a Globe Amaranth. Quite an unusual yet pretty flower, isn’t it?”

“Yeah, it sure is..” You muttered whilst reaching towards it, the tip of your fingertips brushing against its petals.

“Do you know the meaning of it?” He smiled, plucking one and twirling it in his hand. “This flower symbolizes immortality and—”

“Unfading love..”

“Oh? You know what it meant?” Teorus asked, clearly surprised but you weren’t paying any attention now because an overwhelming amount of emotions and memories had hit you.

This flower, the strange feelings you couldn’t quite put your finger on, Huedhaut.. Everything made perfect sense now.

“I remember.. I remember everything.” Gasping in surprise, you turned up to look at him. “Sorry Teo but I gotta go!”

“H-huh? _______?! Where are you going?!” You heard him shout as you ran and though you felt extremely bad for leaving him clueless, you needed to see Huedhaut.

Your heart raced as you swiftly jogged down the hallway, your eyes scanning for the man with dark blue hair; The reason as to why he acted so oddly when you were with other gods, why you constantly felt this attachment to him and why that flower seemed like it meant something to you.. It was all because you once loved him in another life.

You remembered the times where the both of you swore your love to each other, when he gave you a bouquet of Globe Amaranth to vow that both your loves would never fade for eternity, when you promised him that you would never leave his side even if the world were to crumble to ashes.

How could you forget such precious memories? How could you not remember the face of the man your previous self had loved so dearly? And how, after all this time, could he still love you even when you had broken such a promise?

‘Huedhaut.. Where are you..?!’ You silently cried out, wondering where in the world was he when you then heard a familiar voice coming from the common area.

“There you are..!” You beamed, ready to charge into the room but just as you were about to enter, you heard someone else speaking.

“I like you, Huedhaut. I truly do.” The soft, feminine voice said.

‘W-Who is that? Is this person.. Confessing her feelings?’ You wondered, your chest tightening by the minute. You honestly wanted to walk away, to stop listening and simply wait till they were done but no matter how you tried to move, your legs were simply rooted to the spot.

“Achelois.. I just– I don’t know what to say.”

‘Achelois.. Wasn’t that the sweet goddess that would visit Huedhaut from time to time?’ Not being able to resist your curiosity, you got a bit closer, taking a peek through the tiny gap.

“I know you loved her, Hue. And I am not asking you to forget or to love me like you did with her but just– Let me heal that wound in your heart.”

“Why..?” He asked, his voice slightly shaky.

“It’s because I care for you and we have practically known each other for ages. To see the person I have grown to love for be in so much pain.. It hurts, you know? I just want you to be happy again, I want you to move on from the past that has scarred you so badly.” She uttered, her tone laced with sadness. “I wouldn’t be doing this if I felt that the both of you would get back together or if I knew she’ll fall in love with you again but.. It seems like she’s moved on. And maybe, you should too.”

“I don’t want to hurt you, Achelois. I.. I might not be able to provide the love you are looking for.”

“I am fully aware of that.”

“And you still want me?”

“Like I said before, I dont expect you to forget her or love me just as much but what I do want is for you to try and let yourself be healed. I want you to be able to love and accept love again.” She stepped a little closer towards him, her eyes staring into his sapphire ones. “Even if in the future, the person you end up being with is not me.. That’s fine. As long as I know you’re happy, free and that we did enjoy some quality time together in the past.. That’s more than enough.”

“You…” Sighing, he shook his head in defeat before breaking into a small smile. “I can never understand how selfless you can be sometimes.”

“I am not the goddess of healing for nothing.” She laughed, a shy look on her face.

“But… Thank you.” He slowly took her hand in his. “Maybe you are right. Maybe it really is time to move on and instead of always feeling depressed whenever I see her with someone else, I want to be happy for her and I.. I want to be happy too. Will you.. Help me?”

“Hue..”

Not being able to see or listen anymore, you finally found the strength to leave the area, your feet moving faster by the second.

You could feel your head spinning, your heart throbbing in pain and tears welling up your eyes.

What a cruel, cruel fate.

look at those a++ photoshopping skills. honestly, i was feeling lazy, but this has been such a long time coming, i can’t even begin to tell you how many times i went “ wow i need to do a bias list ” haaaa !! anyway, i’m gonna put it below the cut so as to not blow up y’all’s feeds. smooches xx

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One and Only (LietPol)

What with one thing and another, Poland has hidden insecurities of his own.  Fortunately, both he and Lithuania have been having a decisive couple of years.  This just might work out after all.  One night and one morning after 200 years. LietPol, with a side of America.

So…. this is my ‘everything is beautiful, everything is LietPol’ 1990s reunion fic, because I hadn’t done one yet ^.^  There are various bits of history decoratively framing it, but mostly it’s all the emotions~  It’s also, uh, 10 000 words.  Stick it in your drafts and come back to it? That’s what I’d do!  edit: now on ao3 / ff.net

Rated M for quite a lot of [romantic, caring, enthusiastic] sexual content.  Kind of a main feature.  (Some other time maybe I’ll have to write my OTP in a way that centres less around this!)  And there is a little background angst beneath the cute surface—Poland’s ‘insecurities’ result from some serious things, for instance.

Thank you so much to sednamode for beta-reading and making sure things made sense ♥

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kellegirl  asked:

I absolutely love your art and it makes me want to draw. I just find myself so frustrated sometimes that I'm not improving fast enough or at all. I know you just have to work through that and keep practicing, but it's so damn hard. How did/do you work through the frustration of art just not seeming to work out how you want it to?

Ahhh yes I know that frustration well. I usually have these really low points at least once a month, where I start doubting my ability and everything just sucks ;u; these moments are normal, for anyone, because we as creators will always have high points where something just turns out BRILLIANT, and low points where we’re just not seeing the results we envision in our heads.

I think the hardest thing artist has to do is to convince themselves to stop comparing their ability to another’s. Sometimes when I see an artist whose art just blows me away, sometimes I look at mine and I think that i’m soooo far behind them, that i’m not doing enough to improve, and that my art should be at some god-tier level by now. But then I realise I won’t be able to improve if I beat myself up like that, and it’s more important to see someone else’s art and see it as inspiration, rather than an obstacle. the whole concept of improving “fast enough” is a problem we create for ourselves, because people learn at a different pace, and if we tell ourselves we’re far too slow, our motivation to improve grinds to a halt completely. Slow and steady learning is better than being completely discouraged by a force that isn’t even keeping track of what we’re doing or how we’re doing.

Picture this–it’s gonna get real meta–you are an art teacher, and you’re also the student you’re teaching. Should you be angry at a student who isn’t learning fast enough in your class? No. As the teacher, you give out assignments and instruct students what needs to be done and to practice. As the student, you take those assignments and you do them. You’re gonna do great on some assignments and suck on others. And as a teacher, you aren’t marking the mistakes with a red pen because you want to be cruel, you’re trying to indicate things that needs more practice.

When I hit a block, I give myself a break, and do something else before going back to try again. Sometimes all it takes is a few hours, sometimes a whole day, but I always go back and try again. I remember it’s important to give myself credit for what I manage to do, and aim to do better the next time. Will I always be able to do better? No, but I know I have to keep trying because it’s really the only way. Even when I’m super happy with a piece, I ask my family/friends for their opinion, which almost always has some constructive criticism. I allow myself to revel in that piece for the remainder of the day, but after a day or so I start looking at it super critically and suddenly see tons of errors. Yeah, it can suck when you thought something that looked amazing at the time is suddenly glaring with mistakes, but being able to even see those mistakes means you’re improving. You can now see things you need to change in order to make it look better, or more “correct,” and while it can feel frustrating, take it as a sign that your brain is doing all it can to understand and is formulate ideas of how to improve what you’re seeing. Just because you find things that need changing doesn’t mean it’s not a beautiful piece as a whole.

Sometimes, it’s more effective to sit my ass down with discipline and do research. yes, even art requires research and studying in order to get ahead. I put aside a few hours and look up tutorials, watch speedpaints, study work in progresses, and try to figure out how to do something differently which can expand my skill set. Like, if you look through my years of art on my DA gallery, my style changes because I learn new things, I force myself to use different techniques that I’m not familiar with, and I see what works best for me.

I’m not sure how much help this longass answer was LOL but the biggest take away from this is to not worry about how fast you need to be. Time isn’t the issue, is your willingness to learn and having patience with yourself. It’s a lot of sweat and effort and “Suck it up, Buttercup.” Go ahead and scream into a pillow if you have to, but after you do you need to tell yourself to sit your ass back down and get to back work. No one but you can convince yourself to keep drawing, no matter how frustrated you are.

Make Me Feel Loved - Chapter 1

First chapter of my new fic. Just an idea that randomly popped up in my mind, and I think I really like it. It will probably be a long one.. Oh and keep in mind that this fic is totally happening in a parellel universe, Taylor and Gaga never met.

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Gaga quickly walks back to her apartment. She slipped out to get some cigarettes and after that she wanted to go for a walk, so she did. But while she was walking, it started to rain hard and she mutters a few curses under her breath. When she looks around, she realizes she has walked quite far away from her apartment. She curses loudly, wipes her wet hair out of her face and then walks further, her head bowed down in attempt to prevent rain from falling into her face. She doesn’t see anything, and after a while she bumps into someone. She falls backwards, scratching her elbows open on the pavement. ‘Ouch! What the fuck?!’ Gaga angrily looks up at the man who she bumped into. Her mood was already bad, but it has sunken even more now. The man sticks his hand out, but Gaga ignores him and jumps up. The man keeps looking at her, and she shoots him an angry look again. 'What?’

'I’m sorry,’ the man apologetically smiles at her and sticks his hand out again. 'I’m Taylor.’

'And I’m going home,’ Gaga snaps again, getting more and more angry with the minute. 'Because you maybe haven’t noticed, but it’s raining.’

'Come with me.’ Taylor still has a small smile on her face, he finds the small, angry woman in front of him quite amusing. 'I’ll give you a drink, clean your scratches and you can hide from the rain.’

'I can do that at my apartment.’

'Yeah, but I live across the street.’ Taylor bites his lip, but smiles again when Gaga shortly nods.

'I’m Lady Gaga, call me Gaga.’

'I knew that,’ Taylor smiles when he finally managed to get a nice word out of Gaga, but the smile is soon wiped off again.

'Yes, and I already know you are Taylor Kinney, so we have something in common,’ Gaga sarcastically remarks. Taylor ignores Gaga’s remark and crosses the street. When he looks over his shoulder, he sees that Gaga is following him and he smirks. He opens the door of the small house he is renting, and he gestures for Gaga to follow him. He hangs his coat up, kicks his sneakers off and then walks to the kitchen. Gaga still follows him, completely soaked because she wasn’t even wearing a coat. She has taken her heels off, and Taylor realizes she is really tiny. He smirks to himself again and then hands her a beer. 'Sorry, don’t have anything else.’

'Fine,’ Gaga is still in a bad mood, she is cold, wet, her hair is in knots and her elbows are scratched and hurting after her fall. She also knows her makeup is smeared over her cheeks, and she tries to wipe it away. She also tries to comb her hair with her fingers, but it is a pointless effort. She looks at Taylor, who is looking at her with an amused smile on his face. She shoots him an angry look again, but then she realizes he only wants to help her, and her expression softens. She suddenly shivers, and Taylor grabs her shoulder, leading her to the bathroom. He softly pushes her down so she is sitting on the edge of the bath, and he grabs some alcohol and some cotton balls from a cabinet. He takes Gaga’s arm and starts cleaning her scratch. ‘Ahhh,’ Gaga softly moans when the alcohol touches her wound. It stings, and she clenches her teeth together.

‘I’m sorry,’ Taylor softly apologizes when he sees he’s hurting Gaga. He finishes with her first arm and looks into her eyes. ‘Are you okay?’ She shortly nods, and he sees hostility on her face again. ‘You know I’m just trying to help you here, right?’ He is starting to get really annoyed by her, but when he sees vulnerability in her eyes he understands that the anger is mostly just and act. He doesn’t get why she acts like that, but he knows that she has probably been damaged by people before, so she doesn’t fully believe someone is just acting nice. He smiles at her and then takes her other arm to clean. When he is done, she is shaking, and he doesn’t know if it is because she is soaked and cold or because she is hurt. He smiles at her again and nods his head towards the shower. ‘Do you want to shower and get warm? You can put on one of my shirts when you’re done.’

‘Yes, if that’s possible,’ Gaga shyly smiles at Taylor. He smiles back and then walks to his closet. He comes back with a red flannel shirt and he hands it to her. He also hands her a towel, and then he walks out of the bathroom, closing the door behind him. Gaga looks at the shirt in her hands and then at the door where Taylor just disappeared. She has trouble realizing she didn’t just end up in some weird dream, but after a while she slowly undresses. Taking the wet, tight dress off is quite a tough job since it is sticking to her body. She drops it to the ground and then turns the tap on. She steps under the warm water and feels her skin tingling because she was so cold. She closes her eyes and enjoys the warm water.

Taylor sits down on the couch after he walks out of the bathroom. He does not know why, but as soon as he bumped into Gaga he felt connected to her. Even though she had been a real bitch he couldn’t get angry with her, and he feels like he can look into her soul for a bit. He is starting to get quite sure that she is damaged; the looks of disbelief she gave him when he offered her something say a lot. He knows she is the famous Lady Gaga, but at the same time she is just a broken girl. He wants to hug her tight, and tell her everything is okay, even if he doesn’t know what is wrong.

Gaga slips into Taylor’s flannel and looks at herself in the mirror. It is way too big, but it feels nice. She quickly brushes her hair and then she exits the bathroom. She looks around in attempt to find Taylor, and when she hears a television she walks towards the sound. Taylor is sitting on the couch, a beer in front of him. Gaga silently stands in the doorway silently, just looking at the guy who she bumped into, and then took her home. She likes him, and it terrifies her. She softly coughs, and Taylor turns around. She nervously smiles at him. ‘Hey.’

‘Hey. Feeling better?’ Taylor pats on the empty space next to him, and Gaga slowly approaches.

‘Yeah,’ Gaga sits down and looks into Taylor’s blue eyes. ‘My elbows hurt a bit, but it’s fine.’

‘Let me look at it.’ Taylor takes Gaga’s arms and rolls up the sleeve of the shirt. He looks at the scratch and softly touches the skin around it. He sees Gaga clenches her teeth together again, and pulls his hands back. ‘You fell hard. But even though they’re big, they are just scratches.’ He smiles, and she returns his smile. They silently look at each other for a few minutes, but then Gaga looks down. She slightly trembles, and Taylor puts a hand on her knee. Gaga slowly pushes his hand away and then she gets up. 'I have to go home. Thank you for letting me stay here.’

'No problem. But are you sure you want to go now? It’s still raining.’ He looks at Gaga, who is clearly hesitating. 'Let me at least drive you.’ Before Gaga can refuse his offer, he stands up. He puts his hand on her shoulder and leads her back to the hall. They put on their shoes, Gaga takes her purse and Taylor his keys, and then they step outside and quickly walk the few meters to Taylor’s car. Gaga directs Taylor to her apartment, and laughs when she realizes he doesn’t live in New York. They talk in a friendly way, and for the first time in months, Gaga feels a bit of happiness. When they arrive at her apartment, she stays in the car for a minute, but before Taylor can say anything she gets out. 'Bye,’ she forces a smile and then walks towards the door. She has her hand on the doorknob when she hears Taylor behind her. She turns around and watches him as he quickly approaches her. 'Gaga.. I’m flying back to Chicago tomorrow, but I’ll be here again in a few weeks. Wanna meet again?’

'Okay,’ Gaga smiles nervously.

'What’s your number?’ Taylor takes his phone out of his pocket, and is surprised when Gaga takes it out of his hands. She searches for his contacts, and then rapidly starts typing. She hands the phone back to him and he looks at it, not knowing what else to do. His eye falls on the name she typed, and he smiles. Stefani. Without thinking any more, he wraps his arms around her and he presses her against his chest. He feels how she tenses up because of his sudden touch, but she relaxes and wraps her arms around him. He embraces her for a few seconds and then pulls away. ‘See you next time, Stefani.’

‘Yeah,’ Gaga faintly smiles. She watches Taylor turn around and walk back to his car. Seconds later he is gone, and Gaga enters the building. She is so confused by what happened the past hour. She takes her diary from the coffee table and searches for a pen in her purse. She opens her diary and starts writing.

April 4, 2014.

I met a guy today. I bumped into him at the street and I fell. I already was in a bad mood, and I got quite angry with him, but he was so nice. He was so polite, and told me his name was Taylor. I realized it was Taylor Kinney, from Chicago Fire, but I just couldn’t care. Even though I acted horrible towards him, he took me to his home and cleaned the scratches on my elbows. He even let me shower and then he gave me a dry shirt. He was the nicest guy I met in months, and for the first time in what feels like forever he made me laugh and he made me feel happy.

Gaga’s hands start trembling, and tears roll down her face. She wipes them away, but new ones are already falling. She puts her pen and diary down and walks to the kitchen to get a glass of wine. She takes a few sips of the wine and a few deep breaths, and then she walks back to the couch. She starts writing again after thinking for a minute.

I am so, so incredibly scared. I finally figured out how to live my life. But he just… I felt so safe and I think I can trust him. I like him, I just don’t know how. Can you like-like a guy you just met? I am so confused. I gave him my number and he hugged me. It was a hug, not like family and friends give you, it was more like a lover does. I felt like he just wanted to say that everything is going to be fine. He held me so long. I just don’t know anymore. I told him my real name, even though I only knew him for an hour.

Is this love? Because if it is, it can’t. I can’t go through all of this again. I just can’t.

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That was the first chapter :) let me know what you thought of it! xoxo