ahahaha see what i did there

Audio samples of “The Matsuno Family’s Carefree Feeling” (Vol 3 and last volume), written by the series writer Matsubara Shuu. To be released on April 26, 2017.

01. Totty’s Wish
TODOMATSU: That’s why I can’t help myself from relying on you… Sorry about that! Having the reputation of oldest brother must be tough. I’ll ask Choromatsu-niisan this time. See you!
OSOMATSU: Wait, Totty, Totty!
TODOMATSU: Hm?
OSOMATSU: Here. Just 1,000 yen, okay?
TODOMATSU: Ehhhh?! I can have this?! [grabs] Thank you, oldest brother-niisan! No, I mean, Osomatsu-niisan. Sleep well now, okay? Bye!
[TODOMATSU leaves the room]
TODOMATSU: [sighs] And that’s about it.
ICHIMATSU: Oh my god, that was awesome!

02. Sunday Carpenter
CHOROMATSU: Ugh, it’s construction!
JYUSHIMATSU: Ahaha!
CHOROMATSU: Hm? Construction?
JYUSHIMATSU: Whoohoo!
CHOROMATSU: This isn’t construction! It’s him!
[CHOROMATSU runs outside]
CHOROMATSU: Keep it down! What is this?! Hey, Karamatsu! What’s this racket?
KARAMATSU: It’s Jyushimatsu.
CHOROMATSU: Eh?!
JYUSHIMATSU: Ahahaha!
CHOROMATSU: What is he doing?

03. Wake Up Candid Camera
JYUSHIMATSU: [whispers] Good morning.
ICHIMATSU: Morning.
JYUSHIMATSU: It’s five in the morning right now. I sure am sleepy.
ICHIMATSU: Sleepy.
JYUSHIMATSU: But it’s fun.
ICHIMATSU: Loads of fun. I could just die.
JYUSHIMATSU: Then let’s go enter the room.
ICHIMATSU: Let’s go. Let’s kill them all.
JYUSHIMATSU: Yep.

04. A Carefree Feeling
ICHIMATSU: [groans]
KARAMATSU: Hmph! It appears the time has come for me to sing a lullaby!
CHOROMATSU: By the way…
KARAMATSU: Eh?
CHOROMATSU: Where did that idiot go? I don’t see him around.
TODOMATSU: Eh? Oh, Osomatsu-niisan? I don’t know.
CHOROMATSU: Oh really.
KARAMATSU: Hmph! Then when everyone’s altogether, how about me singing a lullaby–
JYUSHIMATSU: By the way…
KARAMATSU: Hmm?
TODOMATSU: What’s the matter, Jyushimatsu-niisan?
JYUSHIMATSU: No, nothing.
TODOMATSU: Oh really.
KARAMATSU: Hmm…
CHOROMATSU: Alright then, let’s ignore that idiot and get some sleep.
TODOMATSU: I’m turning off the lights now.
ALL: Okay.
TODOMATSU: Good night.
ALL: Good night.
OSOMATSU: [enters the room] Hey, you guys! Let’s go out for ramen!

HOLY GAJEEBUS HOLD ME-

Exo Cup Fanmeeting in Japan 170514

Wow were we blessed today

Japan has now become my second favorite place for CB moments~ 

AFTER YEARS 

CHANBAEK HAS FINALLY DONE THAT BALLON THANG AND HECK WAS IT AMAZING

They were the same team (the blue team) and look at how our royal couple absolutely wrecked the other two threesomes wowowowowoowowowow we always knew they had great chemistry :D they just work well together

LOOK AT THIS HD QUALITY PICTURE WOWOWOW MY MY AREN’T WE BLESSED

WOw. Such a lovely view of their backsides :,)

Mmm yes Park Chanyeol demonstrate some more please (Lol I’m that girl having a seizure in the right corner)

If y’all already don’t know, this is the ballon popping game they are demonstrating (y’all can already smell the fan service can’t you?)

Lol. Me being the evil fangirl grumbling “Seriously? The ballon is such a cockblock”

(Chants: “kiss kiss kiss kiss”)

Lol I love that the ballon is a heart. It really accurately represents what’s about to happen. 

Now…let the games…begin

Bless. I love how Baekhyun is just low-key hugging the man’s Park Chanyeol (I KNOW IT’S FOR THE GAME BUT LET ME DREAM. THIS IS THE BEST MOMENT OF MY LIFE OTHER THAN OTHER CB MOMENTS)

Now a backside view. The games haven’t even started and Baekhyun is already putting his arm around Chanyeol’s waist ahhhhhhhhh

MM they look like they’re on a honey moon

Lol even closer please

Baekhyun’s so ready for this

And here’s a closer view

“Ah yes we are Korea’s number one coup- I mean pair ahahaha.”

Awww Baek looks so fond I can’t

Ah yes Height difference

HEIGHT DIFFERENCE

What an aesthetic couple

Aw Chan looks like a kid XD Showing off his prize

Baek: “We may have won this trophy but we already won each other’s heart”

Oh look at that eye contact. Wowowowow did you see how Baekhyun leaned in slightly looking straight at Chanyeol? Hmmm why did Chanyeol look so startled. I wonder what he thought Baekhyun was doing. What if he thought it was…a kiss? AHH LET ME DREAMMMM. But honestly that eye contact and the way Baekhyun kinda just instinctively leaned in. I mean yeah Chanyeol could’ve been surprised that Baekhyun was staring at him but really I feel (or it looks) like there is some tension. Sexual tension maybe? Just the way Baekhyun is looking at him like that really gets me slightly suspicious

Lol I wonder. Isn’t it uncomfortable for Baekhyun to lean on Chanyeol like that since Chan is taller? XD

That looks so awkward XD

And ending with some creepy synchronization XD

WOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOW THE FANS AT THIS FANMEET ARE SO LUCKY

ALSO I’M LATE AGAIN SORRY I REALLY WISH I LIVED IN KOREA XD

Overheard at the Newsies
  • Me: MY SON!!!!
  • Also me: OMG LOOK IT'S MIKE!
  • Me as well: THAYNE IS EVERYWHERE
  • Me: It's starting!!!
  • Me for the next hour or so: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
  • Me at intermission: I AM SCREAMING, DID YOU SEE THAT? WERE YOU ALL WATCHING?!?!
  • Me: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH it's starting again!!!
  • Me: MY SONS ARE BACK!!!
  • Me: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
  • Me at curtain call: PLEASE TELL ME THEY ARE RELEASING THIS? OMG MY SONS ARE BACK. THEY ARE DANCING AND HAPPY AND LOOK AT THEIR FLIPS AND JUMPS AND OH SHIT ANDREW IS HERE TIME TO CLAP AND HOLY SHIT IT'S JEREMY'S TURN AND AHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHA HE ALMOST FELL WHAT A DORK. I LOVE MY SONS
Stop Lying (Newt Scamander X Reader)

Requested: No

Word Count: 1 600

A/N: Just something that I thought would be fun to write, thanks for reading!

*****

“You’re fired.”

Your eyes widen, processing what was just said. You blink a couple times and smile, your boss was clearly joking. Oh that funny, funny man…

“Ahahaha, that a good one,” you cry, laughing and patting your boss on the back. He stood there, standing stiff with a firm look on his face. You wipe tears of laughter from your eyes. “You almost got me there, for a second, I-”

“(Y/N).” he says sternly.

You look at him properly and see that his face hasn’t changed, his lips in a solid straight line, unwavering. You finally realize that he wasn’t kidding. A heavy weight drops in your chest.

“Wait, you’re serious?” you start to feel light headed and very, very worried. “Why? What did I do?”

Your boss sighs, shaking his head.

“You are a phenomenally dedicated worker but I don’t think that your, umm, personality matches with the all seriousness of the office.” he pauses before continuing. “You do get your assignments done but not without causing ruckus and chaos around your co-workers. You are happy and bubbly but some would even go so far to call you annoying and uncoordinated. Heck, you were just laughing because you thought I was joking.”

Your heart sinks, did everyone really think of you that way?

“I think…that you have the potential to do amazing things, it’s just that here isn’t where you will find it.”

“But, I need this job. I need the money.” you sniffle, tears dangerously threatening to fall. You could barely get along with the money you earned working for the lower class of the Daily Prophet, what were you going to do now?

“I’m sorry and I wish you good luck in the next chapter of your life.”

*****

You mutter profanities under your breath as you wave your wand around your small office, the last of your belongings floating into a cardboard box.

Hesitantly, you force down the lid of the box, sealing it shut. You look around the now empty office room, the first and only place you’ve ever worked.

“Lighten up,” you murmur to yourself as you pick up the box to leave the room for the final time. “I’m an optimistic person. Maybe the boss is right, maybe this is a new start. I will find a new job.”

On the way out of the building you spit a board covered in random posters and advertisements. You eyes scan them quickly, there were no new job opportunities at all.
Losing hope for the day you start to walk away when something catches your eye.

The corner of a small blue poster was peeping out underneath a couple of the larger ones. You gently dig past them until you get to the one you wanted.

“Help wanted.” you read, starting to get excited. “Magizoologist in need of assistance.”

You frown, knitting your eyebrows together. A Magizoologist was a person who worked with creatures. Magical creatures. You shudder.
You were never fond of animals and you weren’t sure if a job revolving around them would be ideal for you. But you had no choice, this was the only option for now.
You jot down the important information and decide that you would go for an interview the following day.

*****

You nervously straighten your shirt, waiting on a bench outside of an office in the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures.

“Come in.” a friendly voice beckons from within.

You take a deep breathe and enter.

Sitting in the middle of the office was a young man, probably around your age, with curly, messy red-brown hair.

“Hello!” you say cheerfully. “I’m here for the opportunity to be an assistant, I hope that I am not too late.”

“No, not at all! Please, sit.” the man answers with a cute lopsided smile. You sit and take a closer look at him, really admiring his features. Freckles decorated his face and his green eyes shone with curiosity. He was good looking. Very good looking. You mentally traced the curve of his beautiful cheek bones, defined jaw line…

“I’m sorry Miss, is there something on my face?” he awkwardly clears his throat, signalling that things were getting weird.

“No!” you say a little too loudly, snapping out of your trance and sitting up straighter, fighting hard to cool down the blush that was threatening to bloom.

“Alrighty then. I’m Newt Scamander, and you are?” he asks, going to straight to business.

“(Y/N) (L/N).”

“So tell me (Y/N), have you had any experience with magical creatures?”

You twiddle your fingers, fidgeting in your seat. No, you hadn’t and to be frank, you never wanted to. But this was your only shot, you had to get this job.
Hesitantly, you nod, trying to look as calm and confident as possible.

Newt doesn’t question anything and continues.

“Have you worked with Thunderbirds, Erumpents, Occamies…”

He goes on and your head swirls with information and images of these creatures, each sounding even worse and more horrific than the last.

Again, you nod, becoming more uncomfortable with lying with each passing second.

“Congratulations, you’re hired! We will get started right away!” he seemed excited, and you smiled, trying not to let it fall or waver.

You’d be fine right? Besides, they were just simple lies?…

*****

So far your experience had been great, you and Newt had grown very close. You never really had to go near any of the creatures and mostly took notes for Newt. Although you did scream a couple of times when the Swooping Evil came flying out of no where, thankfully, Newt wasn’t around at the time. On the bright side you hadn’t died yet. You had also grown accustomed to the creatures and started to feel a connection to them…sort of. However, you still not so subtly refused to go near them. Newt definitely didn’t suspect anything…yet. Hopefully.

Today was like no other, inside of Newt’s suitcase with your notebook, jotting down everything Newt was muttering under his breath about Mooncalves. Your hand started to cramp from all the writing and you accidentally dropped your pencil.

“Why don’t you take a break? You’ve been working hard, you deserve it.” he drops down to pick up his pencil and you can’t help but admire how his hair flawlessly fell over his face.

Oh yeah, you were crushing hard on your boss that was basically the same age as you. Not weird at all.

“Is there something on my face again, (Y/N)?” he asks, you were probably gazing at his beautiful face again. You become stiff, preparing to die of embarrassment, this happened wayyyyyy too often.

“Damn, it! Snap out of it!” you mutter quietly to yourself.

“Excuse me?” he blinks a couple of times, a small smile appearing on his face.

“Umm, nothing! I’ll, uh, be on my way!” you let out super quickly, your words stumbling over each other, making it sound as though you were saying one super long word.

He chuckles as he watched your stiff figure shuffle away.

“Oh, (Y/N)!” he calls urgently, making your heart flutter. You turn to face him, he wasn’t looking at you in the eyes. Maybe he was about to confess his feelings and prove that the feelings you had were mutual? TAKE THAT HATERS.

“Can you feed Frank afterwards? He’s feelings cranky with me and I think that some other social contact would be good for him.”

You panic, trying not to hyperventilate right there and then.
Crap, you were afraid. Crap, you didn’t know how. Crap, you were screwed. Crap, you were going to die. Crap, you couldn’t refuse. Crap, this is your job. Crap, Newt is so attractive.

Instead of telling him the truth, you nod.

“Of course!…”

*****

“Hi there Frank…” you say, gently approaching the magnificent beast with a bucket full of its favourite food; you had no idea what it was, and you’d like it to stay that way.

“I’ve come with food?…”
Why that came out as a question, you didn’t know but that was the least of your worries, you were shaking uncontrollably, the bucket threatening to fall from weakening fingers.

He squawks, his feathered head quickly approaching you. You shriek loudly, the bucket falling with a clang and you following close after. You heart pouncing harshly against your rib cage.

Frank looks puzzled at you but seems to shrug, ruffling his feathered wings before swooping down to munch on his fallen meal.

You slowly scoot away, still lying pathetically on the ground.

You hear light laughter behind you and your face flushes as you scramble back up on to your feet.

“He was just trying to nuzzle you.” Newt says, still chuckling softly. You huff and he strides to your side with your long legs, giving you a quick hug. You savour it, probably looking like an idiot, but you didn’t care, your heart was still pounding because if Frank.

“(Y/N), you don’t have experience with creatures, do you?” he finally says, breaking the silence.

“Haha, what gave you that idea? I totally am…” you say sheepishly.

“Stop lying,” he says sternly, yet slightly amused.

“Okay fine. Am I fired now?…”

“No, I would never do that to you…but I’d like an explanation.”

So you tell him and he forgives you and understood why you did it. He offered to train you himself and you accepted. You two would be spending even more time with each other and neither if you were going to complain about that.

2

Hello Fukuoka! (02/21)

Special thanks to (@aseria) for proofreading (^_-)-☆

Visual Board Tour Event:

Sendai | Sapporo | Hiroshima | Fukuoka


Mitsuki: Let’s begin for today! IDOLISH7’s web program…

All: Kimi to ‘Ai'dolish Nai to~!

Iori: This web program is presented by the seven of us, IDOLISH7, and takes place the same time as our tour to seven cities, “Visual Board Tour”.

Mitsuki: It’s sad that we had to leave Hiroshima. But starting today on February 21, we are visiting Fukuoka! People of Fukuoka, please take care of us~!

Keep reading

the pope rap

so my wife (who was raised catholic) likes it when I get drunk and talk about popes. this is because 1) I am a delightful drunk and 2) i know a confusing amount about the history of the catholic church (especially considering that I am Jewish) and so since I am very tired, which is a bit like being drunk, I will share with you some of my favorite popes. with apologies to all devout catholics in the audience, what are you doing here, turn away now, abandon all hope ye who enter:


Pope Nope: Otherwise known as Pope Celestine V. Pope Nope was the founder of the Celestine Order. Pope Nope lived as a hermit in quiet seclusion and modesty.  Pope Nope absolutely did not want to be Pope.  After sending an angry letter to the Church saying they should pick a Pope ASAP (they’d been hedging on it for like two years), the Church said, ‘This is it. This is the guy.’ Pope Nope promptly tried to flee the country.  The Church sent people to physically drag him to Rome. One of his first edicts was to declare that the Pope was allowed to abdicate.  Surprisingly, he abdicated five months later.

Pope Douchebag:  Pope Boniface VIII.  Came on after Pope Nope. Declared first Catholic Party Times (jubilee) in Rome in 1300 (in an attempt to revitalize Rome in general, and yanno raise money, an ongoing theme in this story). This should’ve made him kinda cool, except he pissed of the King of France and the poet Dante Alighieri, who he sort of let get kicked out of Florence. This resulted in Dante Alighieri writing one of the most beautifully elaborate revenge fics in Western literature.  Now, Nope Douchebag (as a modern Dante would surely have called him)  wasn’t dead when The Divine Comedy was published, but Dante made sure that in Inferno, the chapter related to hell and all the lovely punishments waiting there, to have a character point to a flaming hole in the ground and say “AND THAT’S WHERE YOU’RE GOING, POPE DOUCHEBAG. THIS HOLE. IT WAS MADE FOR YOU,” so there’s that.

Pope Evil: Pope Alexander VI aka the Borgia Pope aka that guy you get into a slapfight with in Assassin’s Creed 2.  Alleged crimes include extreme amounts of nepotism, murder, rape, bribery, etc, etc.  He probably wasn’t actually necessarily as evil as everyone always says (most of the incest and murder stories were told by his political enemies) but bribery and nepotism was sort of just what you DID when you were Pope back in the day. He probably did not look like Jeremy Irons. He did, however, paint really tacky images of his favorite mistress all over the papal bed chambers which led to…

Pope Badass I:  aka Pope Julius II deciding ‘screw this I am NOT sleeping in a former Borgia love nest’ and so he decided to commission the building of Saint Peter’s Basilica aka one of the the biggest loudest holiest of holy ‘oh father in heaven how will we even do this?’ pieces of catholic architecture in the world.  Pope Badass did not believe in doing things half way. Pope Badass wanted to be remembered. He commissioned an assortment of remarkable artists at the time.  Bramante, Raphael, Michelangelo, like, a ton of ninja turtles. In the mean time, he also did little things like decide to retake the Papal states, the territory around the city of Rome, which the Church had lost over the last few centuries. How did he decide to do this? By ordering all the cardinals to suit up, get their armor on, go on a road trip, they were going to war.  If a local government didn’t do what he wanted fast enough? He excommunicated the whole city.  Pope Badass didn’t do anything half way.  He originally commissioned Michelangelo to build his future funeral tomb, but forever annoyed the grumpy artist because he kept pulling him away to work on new little side projects

like

yanno

the Sistine Chapel.

Yeah.

Party Pope: Pope Leo X, Medici Pope – yeah, from those Medici. Party Pope was not about to let being a member of the Catholic Church stop him from living the high life of Florentine nobility. Party Pope believed in huge banquets for all his friends and selling lots of indulgences to pay off that big basilica Pope Badass decided to build. Party Pope held a big banquet in which gold plates were thrown in the river. Party Pope had an actual real live pet elephant with red shoes. Party Pope kept conveniently putting off the letters written by a fellow by the name of Martin Luther, who kept writing him to be “uh, hey Party Pope, maybe you are partying a bit too hard, maybe you should like, cut down on that a little….” Party Pope did not stop partying.

Look, we’re not saying the Protestant Reformation was kind of his fault.

But

The Protestant Reformation was kind of his fault.

Pope Buzzkill: Pope Adrian VI. German. Didn’t change his name upon accepting the papacy. Arrived in the massive Roman hangover left by Party Pope. Decided “okay, yes, Catholics, we are partying too hard, let’s do something about that” and proceeded to try and pass a number of very strict laws and measures to try and curb the partying ways of the Church at that time. He was deeply unpopular for this. Because COME ON, Pope Buzzkill, it’s the RENAISSANCE.

He was so unpopular that, after his death, the Catholic Church did not elect another non-Italian Pope for some 500 years. Pope John Paul II. Yeah. As in the guy who was Pope 20 years ago.

They really didn’t like Pope Buzzkill.


Pope Weenie: SO THEY ELECTED ANOTHER MEDICI TO THE PAPACY. YEAH! CLEMENT VII!  PARTY POPE II! THINGS WILL BE AWESOME NOW! WE CAN HAVE MISTRESSES AND BRIBE EVERYONE AND GIVE OUR NEPHEWS HIGH POLITICAL POSITIONS AND

wait

France and The Holy Roman Empire are at war right now?

wait, why is Charles V coming over the scenic Italian countryside with all those really angry men

Yes, ladies and gentleman, through a general inability to manage the conflicting pressures from France and and the Holy Roman Empire, Pope Weenie wound up preciding 1527 over the Sack of Rome, in which the Holy Roman Emperor parked his expansive army in that big half constructed basilica that Pope Badass had decided to start building way back when.

Oh, and Pope Weenie didn’t grant Henry VIII that anullment he wanted. We’re not saying that the formation of the Anglican church was his fault. But it was kinda his fault.

Pope Badass II: Common lore says Pope Badass II aka Sixtus V got his start as an illiterate swineheard born to a peasant family in the Papal States. He rose his way up through the ranks through guile, beautiful oratory skills, and a will of iron. Pope Badass II was aware that as Pope, he did not have long on this earth, and he would get shit DONE.  When he looked at that unfinished basilica that Pope Badass I had started, Party Pope had sold indulgences to fund, and Pope Weenie had let troops run through, he said “You know what this needs? A finished dome.” He asked his architect how long this would take.

“Five years,” said his architect, trying to be optimistic. It would really take more like ten years, given all the work that still needed to go into and–

“Great,” said Pope Badass II, “Do it in two.”

AND THEN IT HAPPENED.

Pope Badass II also is amazing for his response to the sinking of the Spanish Armada, in which Queen Elizabeth managed to blow up a ton of ships belonging to Spain, which was at that time only, you know, the most powerful catholic nation in Europe. Was Pope Badass II pissed at this defeat against protestant forces? Who knows, but HE ALSO SEEMED TO THINK THIS WAS THE FUNNIEST THING HE’D EVER HEARD AND PRETTY MUCH WENT AHAHAHA THIS WOMAN WHO OWNS HALF AN ISLAND JUST TOTALLY WIPED THE FLOOR WITH THE SPANISH THAT IS AMAZNG HE WOULD TOTALLY MARRY QUEEN ELIZABETH IF HE WEREN’T POPE.

“Imagine what progeny we would have!” <— pretty much the quote. yes, ladies and gentleman, this is the VICAR OF CHRIST declaring that he would totally do Queen Elizabeth I.

Sadly, Pope Badass I also did some things that were not so badass. He was responsible for a lot of the Catholic Church’s harsher stances on birth control and abortion, of which we still see many the effects of today, so perhaps this puts maybe a bit of a damper on the true badassery he could have otherwise attained.

But one cannot deny he had excellent taste in ladies.

And also he got them to finish that dang dome.


And that’s my Pope Rap. Please feel free to add to it if you are a giant nerd like me and have collected random trivia about medieval and renaissance artists and political figures.  Perhaps, now that I have written this, my wife will no longer have to hear me talk about this every time I have like, half an appletini.

Perhaps. Perhaps.

But probably not.

Yoosung - Valentine’s Day Special

 After you chose the innocent and youngest boy, as if affected by a spell, you felt tired. Your body was heavy and your eyelids were closing instinctively. Just as if you hadn’t slept for days. You gave up quickly, without reading the messages.

 Some hours later, you woke up feeling a lot better. Unlikely before, your body seemed extremely light. You looked for your phone and found it on the bed table. It was already 7AM. Your first thought was about the chats you lost.

 That moment you noticed what was wrong. Firstly, that wasn’t your bed. You weren’t in your room either. It was a very different place. Moreover, none of your apps or contacts were in your phone.

 You started to freak out a little. How did you get there? It was a pleasant and comfortable apartment, maybe someone’s house. Yet you didn’t find anyone. The best choice would be to leave.

 When you went to get your phone on the bed, you noticed a letter was on the bed table. The sender was… Cheritz?!

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Would you do a Tyki/Allen reclist?? <333

YES, i certainly WILL HAHA

if you know me then you know i love my tykillens 100% consensual and thats. That’s a bit tough, cause not many in the fandom seem to agree with me lol.  it’s a bit of a wasteland in ao3 not gonna lie but the tag there has recently been blessed, and I’ll dig out some old gold too <3

Honestly it’s uh. It’s probably gonna be easiest to organise this by authors and then I’ll like. Pick a couple of my favourites from each of them, and link a few randoms i like at the end. 

Keep reading

Bill Cipher x Reader Oneshot XD

Gravity Falls One-Shot????

AUTHOR’S BABBLES: HEY THERE! The reason I put the question marks behind the title is because I WILL continue this story if you want me to, so, it technically wouldn’t be a one-shot. I don’t know where I would go with this story after this “chapter” though, so if you want me to continue it, you dudes will have to give me some ideas. PM me some ideas for new chapters if you want me to continue this. Of course, I might just make this into a book of one-shots. So, I hope you enjoy this chapter I put together. Also, Bill’s personality is sweeter than it is usually in most fanfics. He’s still cocky, though. LOL Now, without further a due, Human!Bill Cipher x Reader x Dipper (theres a little bit of x Dipper in here) and enjoy the “Love Triangles” in this story (AHAHAHA see what i did there? I AM HILARIOUSSS!) NOTE: This was just for fun  and it was inspired by other fanfics, so don’t accuse me of stealing ideas. Also, this story is only for girls to read. Sorry..

((….)) = Author’s In-Story Babbles

Italics = you thinking

Bold Italics = Bill’s voice in your mind

(….) = Extra Thought

(Y/N) = Your Name

(F/F) = Favorite Food

(E/C) = Eye Color

(H/C) = Hair Color

(H/L) = Hair Length

POV = Point Of View

*Bold* = Transition

*Third Person POV*

You stepped out of the car and inhaled the crisp autumn air of Gravity Falls. It had been two years since you had been here, and you were thrilled to have come back. You ran up the porch steps and to the front door with your suitcase in tow behind you. Before you could knock, the door opened and you were tackled by a boy and girl about your age. “(Y/N)!” Mabel screamed excitedly. Mabel was hugging you tightly around the waist and Dipper was hugging around your shoulders.

You made you way inside and up to the attic, greeting and hugging Stan, Wendy and Soos as you passed. Up in the attic, you found that a little cot had been set up for you against the wall on Dipper’s side of the attic. You dumped your suitcase onto your cot and unpacked the clothes you wanted to wear the rest of the day. You unpacked a yellow tank top with black lace trimming the bottom edge, dark gray skinny jeans, a black cardigan with elbow-length sleeves, and black flats.

“Ooh…why all the fancy clothes, (Y/N)?” Mabel smirked raising an eyebrow.

“Well, I have a little, uh, date later.” You admitted, smirking a little yourself. It wasn’t a planned date, but you knew he was going to show up.

“Oh, gotcha,” Mabel grinned and gave a double wink.

Dipper sat on his bed and watched you. You admittedly felt a little guilty for confessing you had a date in front of him, because you know he used to have a crush on you. A sad look flashed across his face before he noticed you were watching him. He turned away and blushed a bit.

You retreated to the bathroom to change your clothes. You headed back up into the attic. “How do I look?” You said doing a little spin. Mabel gasped, and ran up to hug you excitedly. “You look AMAZING!” She exclaimed, jumping up and down with excitement. “Now we gotta do your hair and makeup,” She said, putting her hands on her hips. You laughed and turned around to face Dipper, deciding you needed a guy’s opinion on your apparel.

“Hey, Dipper, how do I look?” You said reenacting your small spin. His eyes went wide as he looked at you. A light dusting of pink pricked his cheeks as he said, “Y-you look beautiful, (Y/N),” You giggled at the heartfelt, if not somewhat forced compliment. An awkward silence crept into the room.

“KIDS! Time for dinner!” You heard Stan yell from downstairs. You glanced at Dipper who looked relieved.

*Le Wild Time Skip Appears*

After dinner you went back up to the attic and let Mabel do you up for your date. She put your hair in a styled up-do and put light brown eyeshadow on your eyelids. She put a light dusting of tan foundation on your face and neck and dusted your cheeks with pinkish-orange blush. She put on the finishing touches by putting a small amount of mascara on you and touching up your lips with natural color lipstick. You looked in the mirror. Her work was flawless.

By the time you got done with your makeover, it was 7:45. You figured you should probably get going. You grabbed some dangly golden earrings from your suitcase and hastily put them on. You started down the stairs and out the front door. Mabel stopped you and put a delicate gold chain around your neck. The silver heart pendant rested just above your collarbone. It was beautiful. You thanked Mabel as she hugged you and gave you a wink. “Be careful with that guy.” she said smirking from the doorway.

Butterflies fluttered around in your stomach as you made your way to a clearing in the woods that you had claimed as your own a few years ago.

You hadn’t seen him in two years. Was this going to end up awkwardly? You carefully twisted around roots and trees and eventually walked into the clearing. You checked your phone to see the time and the screen flashed 8:02. The sun had already gone down and the moon above you shone down brightly, making the necklace Mabel had given you glint with every movement you made. You stared up at the stars in wonder. In the city there weren’t nearly as many visible as there were tonight.

You crossed over to the opposite end of the clearing and sat down beside a small stream. You laid back on a rock and listened to the sounds of the water rushing over the stones and small logs that made up the stream bed.

*Your POV*

Suddenly, I felt a warm presence beside me. I looked over to see the same golden blonde hair, yellow suit, bowtie, top hat and black slacks that he had had two years ago. He hadn’t changed at all. He looked over at me with a smirk. “Missed me, did ya (Y/N)?” He moved his hand down to grab mine. He intertwined our fingers and said sweetly, “I missed you.”

He sat up pulling me along with him. He picked me up bridal style and sat down on a nearby log. He positioned me so I was sitting on his lap with my legs wrapped around his waist. He looked at my face, studying it. “You haven’t changed at all,” he said with a cute grin. “Really?” I asked, puzzled. “I thought I would have changed so much. I was actually worried what seeing you again would be like because of how much I thought I had changed.” I said quickly and blushed. “Nope,” He chuckled and planted a kiss on my forehead. “You’re still my favorite little (Y/N). Everything’s the same. I mean, your body’s developed a bit more,” he said with a wide smirk. I blushed even harder. “But other than that you’re still the same.”

He brushed some stray hair out of my eyes and I laid my head against his chest. He kissed the top of my head and wrapped his arms behind my back. He started rocking backwards and forwards as if I were a little girl who was having trouble sleeping.

He took his hands away from my back and put one under my chin to let me look at him. “What time are your folks expecting you to be back?” He inquired. “I need to be back before 11:00.” I replied. He brightened up even more (if that was even possible). “Good,” he said with a wide grin. “We’ll have time to go do some of the things we used to do.”

He picked me up off of him and set me on the ground. He intertwined his fingers with mine again as we started walking. “Where do you wanna go, cupcake?” ((Yes, yes. it’s all true. I did take this nickname from another fanfic XD)) Wow. I forgot he used to call me that. I thought. Suddenly a voice came on in my head, Really? You forgot? Haha that was like my one and only nickname for you. The voice sounded as if it was mocking being emotionally stabbed in the back. I mentally face palmed. I also somehow forgot you could read my mind…

“Well, I asked you a question, cupcake. Where do you wanna go first?” He said out loud as he squeezed my hand. I immediately responded with, “The amusement park!” He laughed out loud. “You’re adorable.” He raised my hand up and kissed it. “Aw, c’mon. I’m not adorable,” I said, “You’re the one who’s adorable.” I poked at his stomach with my free hand. “Awww.. That wasn’t fairrr,” He said mocking tears. “Could we please just go to the amusement park?” I asked, putting on a pouty face. He straightened up and put a finger under my chin. “Now no need for that.” He said tapping my nose. I giggled. “Let’s just go…” I said with a smile. He picked me off of the ground and into his arms bridal style again. “Anything for you, babe.”

With that we were teleported to the amusement park. There were neon lights everywhere and in the distance I could see the ferris wheel. It was beautiful here. All the lights and the smell of various foods. The people all around were talking and laughing and there was carnival music coming from in the direction Merry-Go-Round. This kind of place just gave me a sense of being a little kid again. ((sorry for lack of good description here. i’ve never actually been to an amusement park like this at night so i didn’t have many foresights of how it would look and feel.))

Bill materialized twenty dollars and bought us tickets in. Once we were in, it was my turn to drag him places. I grabbed his hand and dragged him to a place that sold (F/F). We bought two orders of (F/F) and went to check out more rides and attractions for a little while. Bill stopped at one ride and just stood there and stared for a minute. It was a drop ride. ((Like Tower of Terror at Disneyland)) Bill grabbed my hand and started pulling me towards the front gate of the ride. There is NO way I’m going on that. I thought as I tried to pull away from Bill’s grip. He turned around and playfully tugged at some of my hair. “C’mon, It’ll be funnnn.” Bill said as he tugged me slowly toward the ride. Eventually I gave in and just resorted to my plan that when the ride started up, I would just hold on to Bill’s arm. We gave the ride operator two tickets and he opened the gate for us. Bill sat us on the side of the ride from which we could see the most of the park. He helped me into my seat and then proceeded to take his. He lowered the lap bar over us and the other ride operator came around to make sure all of the bars were locked down. He flashed a thumbs up to the operator at the gate who gave him a small thumbs up in return. It looked as if he pressed some buttons and then the ride started rumbling. My feet were picked up off the ground and we went higher and higher. I reached for Bill’s hand. He chuckled and let me hold onto him. I looked up and saw we were nearing the top of the ride. We traveled up a couple more feet before I heard a click. All of the sudden we were being dropped through the air. I felt weightless. It was a feeling that I adored and dreaded at the same time. I buried my face in Bill’s sleeve. I felt his other hand come and rest on the back of my head to comfort me. He was screaming though. Screaming in delight. He loved thrill rides thats for sure. We landed slowly at the bottom of the ride and then before I knew it we were being shot up through the atmosphere again.

After a few more of this cycle of raising and dropping us, the ride was over. Bill unfastened our safety bar and helped me down from my seat. My feet touched the ground and I wobbled, falling into Bill. “Whoa, whoa. It’s ok,” The tone of his voice made it obvious that he was smirking. I looked up at him to see that his hair was all messed up from the ride. It was adorable when his hair was messed up. I assumed mine was messed up too. He let me lean on him as we walked out through the gate. We stopped at a food vendor and Bill bought us some cotton candy. We sat down on a bench and he put his arm around my waist. I laid on his shoulder and we slowly ate the cotton candy. I looked at my phone to check the time. The screen flashed the numbers 10:37 at me. I nudged Bill.

“Yeah, cupcake?” He said. I showed him the screen and a small frown came to his face. he sighed and pulled me closer to him. “I don’t want this night to end,” he said. His face lit up all the sudden. “Wait! There’s still one more place we’ve gotta go before I take you home.” He squeezed me to his side before taking my hand and pulling us up off the bench. He threw away the cotton candy stick away and led me in another direction. “Close your eyes, babe,” Bill said in my ear. His breath was tickling my neck as he spoke. I did as I was told and closed my eyes. What came after that was unexpected. After my eyes were closed, he grabbed my shoulders and spun me around. “Ahhhh! Bill!” I said starting to open my eyes. “Nope! keep ‘em closed, Cupcake.” I closed my eyes again and he stopped spinning me. “What was that even about?” I asked, giggling a little. “I had to get you disorientated so you wouldn’t know where we’re going.” He said and laughed. He took my hand and intertwined our fingers. The other hand traveled to my back as he led me to our last ride of the night.

“Alright you can open your eyes now.” He said after a few minutes, and squeezed my hand. I opened my eyes to find that we were standing in front of the ferris wheel. ((ah, yes. the good old ferris wheel, where every romance story eventually ends up. sorry if this was too predictable… XD)) I stared up at it. From the other end of the park, it looked small, but from here, it towered in front of me. Bill gave the ride operator two tickets and we took our seats. The lap bar closed on us automatically and we were hoisted up into the sky as other riders got on.

*Bill’s POV*

I put my arm around (Y/N) as we were slowly brought into the air. Our legs dangled loosely off the edge of the seat and (Y/N) kicked hers playfully. I moved my arm so it was around her waist and leaned over to kiss her cheek. She blushed at this and I smirked. “You’re so cute when you blush,” I said lifting up her chin. This made her blush more and I chuckled. Soon we were at the top of the ferris wheel. “I brought you up here because this ferris wheel was where we ended our first date too. Remember?” I asked. She smiled and nodded her head. I leaned my forehead against hers and laughed a little. “You remember that but you don’t remember that I used to call you ‘Cupcake’? Come on!” I laughed, throwing my head back before letting it come to rest on her forehead again. I squeezed her to my side and she laid her head on my arm.

I put my hands on either side of her face and looked into her (E/C) eyes. She stared back into mine. ((sorry I’m making it so he has two eyes. deal with it. XD)) I caressed her cheek with my thumb. I could feel myself blushing lightly. I leaned forward and kissed her cheek and let my kisses trail down until I was pecking along her jaw. I let my fingers run through her (H/L) (H/C) hair (Her up-do had come out on the drop ride). She wrapped her arms around my neck and brought me closer. I nuzzled her neck with my nose, making her giggle and pull back a little. I smirked and continued, making her giggle more. “Agh! Bill! That tickles, stop it!” she said in between laughs.

*Your POV*

Bill stopped nuzzling my neck and snapped his fingers. The color slowly drained from everything and everyone except us. I gave him a questioning look. “What?” He asked, “Now we can stay up here as long as we want.” he smirked and pulled me closer again. He did have a point. In the Dreamscape, there was no time. We could stay out here as long as we wanted. Still, I thought it would be dishonest. “Yes, but not as long as you want.” I replied smirking at the pouty face that Bill made in response to what I said. “Aww, why not??” He asked while giving me puppy eyes. “Hey,” I said, “I never said that we couldn’t stay out a little later,” Bill brightened up. “But..” He narrowed his eyes. “We’ve gotta stay at the ferris wheel.” I finished. He gave me an ‘are you serious?’ look and rolled his eyes. “Party-pooper..” He said playfully under his breath. I laughed at his childlike attitude. He reached up and tugged at some of my hair, forcing me to come closer. I smirked and pulled at some of his hair also, forcing him to come even closer. Our faces were mere inches from each other.

*Bill’s POV*

It had been so long since I had been this close to (Y/N). This human body and the hormones weren’t helping much with my newfound anxiety. My breathing was becoming slightly shaky, and so was the rest of my body. My eyes kept darting over her face. I looked at her eyes then her cheeks and her forehead, her hair. Then finally my eyes started darting to her lips every so often. I think (Y/N) noticed a few times because she started blushing. I wanted to kiss her, but I didn’t know if she wanted me to kiss her. My hands went behind her back and I clung to her and I made the move.

I leaned in and my lips brushed against hers. She wrapped her arms around my neck and that was my signal. I closed the tiny gap in between our mouths and pressed up against her. My hands traveled up into her hair and she kept her lips pressed on mine.

*Your POV*

He was kissing me. I ran my fingers through his golden hair and he ran his hands through mine as we shared that embrace. I marveled at how much I had missed this. Two years without Bill was too much. I savored this moment as his lips moved slowly and smoothly against mine. Bill kept pulling me closer. He bit my lip slightly as he moved his hands to my waist again. I would need air soon. I pressed my lips up against his one more time before we both came up for air.

He leaned his forehead on mine and we both sat there and breathed deeply. I could hear the shakiness of his breathing and chuckled a little to myself. He looked into my eyes and smiled. Not a smirk, but a real genuine smile. He pecked me on the lips again before snapping his fingers. Color returned to the world and I leaned against Bill’s arm. He put his arm around my waist as our seat glided down to the ground once more.

We got off the ride and walked down to the other end of the park hand in hand. I checked my phone and the display flashed 10:54. “Bill, I’ve gotta get home now.” I said as I squeezed his hand. He looked at the phone and picked me up, carrying me bridal style out of the park. He transported us to the edge of the forest outside The Mystery Shack.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, right cupcake?” He asked. “Yeah,” I replied. “I should be available.” I smirked at him. With that he leaned down and pressed his lips against mine again. He pulled away and whispered, “Bye, babe.” and then he was gone.

Hiya! Here’s the stats:

Word count: 3,620 words (Including these and Author’s Babbles)

Paragraph count: 57

Page count: 6 (on original document)

@tcppcw cont from here

      Felicia’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion as she turned to the woman, her jaw gaped slightly. “Oh, I’m sorry? Does someone not like the idea of twenty questions now that it’s personal?” The feline’s voice is harsher than it has been in weeks, icy eyes narrowed into slits before a scoff passes full lips. “We’ve all got shitty exs –,” A pause. “And we all learn to deal with it. Some clearly better than others.”

“I don’t like questions that cross the goddamn line,” Jessica hissed. She wasn’t going to back down from this, Felicia had pressed the wrong goddamn button and the familiar fury was coursing through her veins now. “Screw you,” she snapped, brandishing her drink, sending alcohol flying. “Should I have gone into nude modeling instead? Dealt with my shit by exposing myself for goddamn perverts of the world? Shitty doesn’t begin to cover it, and I don’t need you or goddamn anyone telling me how I should goddamn deal with that.”

anonymous asked:

I saw that instrument question and I've got one kind of like it? I was wondering what you think the gleeple would be as animals..? I know a lot of people say kurt is like a cat but I think he's kind of like a deer. I also wondered what you think mike would be ?? I have too many questions and you're like the only persons opinion I care about tbH

OH AHAHAHA YES YES YESS!!!! THIS IS MY FAVOURITE TYPE OF QUESTION!! i actually did gleeple as dogs on twitter..if someone else asks i’ll show U !!

now as for ANIMALS..MANNN call me basic bartholomew BUT i def see kurt as a cat >:} (specifically these kinds!)

Blaine would ABSOLUTELY be a capybara!! i think it’s bc they’re such social animals :’U also soft lookin

*SCREAMS AND MERCEDES WOULD BE A FLOPPY EARED BUNNY!! i feel like her face resembles them a lot, i want 2 CRY

for Santana, i always think of big cats, like something in the BIG CAT family 

so for her, a cheetah, they have this neat athletic build ALSO LOOK AT THIS BITTCH

Tina, my girl needs to be something goth, so of COURSE a raven (they can look reserved and cool but make RIDIC noises so i think this fits tina HDHG)

and mIKE oh man…this one came 2 me like a SIGN. he’s totally a lemur! always fuckin moving and overall energetic! ;7

prosecutor-1412  asked:

6 and 15 for the writer asks!

6. First fic/pairing you wrote for? (If no pairing, describe the plot)

Hmmmmmmm see the thing is, my first “known fic” was written when I was seven years old, because my mother wouldn’t take me to go see Balto at the movies in what seven-year-old!Z deemed a suitable timeframe. In a huff, I made my own version of Balto!!!! Mum typed up each “page” for me (like, one line per page) and I then did my terrible illustrations.

If we’re talking “real attempt at fic” my first was Zoids (OC-fic), or if you want “with canon characters” that would be Jak and Daxter.

15. Your guilty writing pleasure?

Hurt/comfort, ahahaha. You’ll probably notice that often characters will get hurt in my fics. That absolutely says two things about me: 1) I love hurt/comfort, and 2) I had no other ideas and if all else fails, injure somebody.

Sunset Date Part 1
Soma Saito
Sunset Date Part 1

First of all: This is really really really beautiful. I just want to let you know that i almost passed out when i listened to this. Now enjoy 6 minutes of Soma’s voice. 

Here is part 1 of the Sunset Date with Soma Saito

Soma Saito says:

1. And here we are. The rooftop.You made it. Was having your eyes covered. Scary ?I’m sorr.y But i supported you firmly, so it was okay right?

2. Hm? You want me to move my hands from our eyes..Hmm… What to do? Cause… when you’re nervous because you can’t see anything, its kind…a cute.

3.Haha, i’m not being mean. It’s your fault for being cute, right? I’m joking. Don’t worry, i’ll remove it after a little while longer. Cause if i don’t, then there’d be no meaning in bringing you here.

4.Hm? Haha, it’s a secret! Let’s see…almost time i think. Okay i’m going to remove my hands. Open your eyes slowly, okay?

5.What do you think? The sunset from here is really pretty, isn’t it?When i saw it the first time, i’ve wanted to watch it with you ever since, i’m glad you like it too.

6.Thank you? It’s… not really something you need to thank me for. I did it because i wanted to. And if you’re happy then i am too.

7.Hey, come here for a bit. Yup, over here, in front of the fence. The sunset’s great from here, but but you can see the townfrom here, too. See? The scenery is amazing, right?

8.Hm? Why am i standing behind you? I can’t?Don’t worry about me and just enjoy the viewI’ll be here enjoyingthe view of you instead.

9.You seem restless. You’re fidgeting… I wonder whats wrong. Huh? You can feel my breath and it tickles? Oh..? *blows* Ahahaha, it’s true. You just jumped.

10.Ah, sorry , sorry! Your reaction is so interesting I just had to. Where do you think you’re going? You’re going to watch from over there?No you’re not. Your place is within my arms, right? I won’t let you go.

11. Mmh.. you really do smell nice. What do you call this again? Pheromones? Hmm… I’m getting worried now. Don’t let any other guy smell this,okay?

12.Don’t accidently let another guynear you. Got it? Jealous? Whyy are you asking. Of course I’d get jealous.

13.Of course i don’t like seeing the  girl i like with another guy. You know, you’re pretty dense when it comes to these things You don’t even know what i feel during those times, do you?

14.If you knew…what i think of then, you might come to hate me. You won’t? You definitely won’t hate me? Really? Haha you’re so sure of yourself. That’s amazing. Thank you…i’m glad.

15. *Sigh* I feel really good right now. having you, the one i love in my arms is really the best thing in the world.

16. I wish time would just stop flowing…makes you want to say something cliche like that, doesn’t it? Haha you thought the same thing, too? Aww man! Won’t god grant our wish?

17.Hm? You’ll grant my wishes for me? Yup. i have one. It’s something only you can grant. Then…turn around. Can i hug you?

18. Just stay…hugged by me like this. Hm.. can i hug tighter? Is it okay? Does it hurt? Oh, good. Then.. let me stay like this for a while.

19. Haha, your ears are all red. Wonder if its because of the sunset. Or… is it cause you are doing these things with me?

So I came across this post and just wanted to match it to some idols...EXO

The signs and their kinks

  • Aries:Spanking
  • Taurus:Hickeys
  • Gemini:Roleplaying
  • Cancer:Spooning afterwards and also maybe crying
  • Leo:Threesomes
  • Virgo:Quiet planned marital sex
  • Libra:Doing it in a public place
  • Scorpio:Dom/Sub
  • Sagittarius:Karma Sutra positions
  • Capricorn:Anal sex
  • Aquarius:Hair pulling
  • Pisces:Always asking if ur okay in the middle of it

So heres EXO  //someone asked for exo awhile back..sorry it took so long

// VIXX is here as well as BTS here and BIG BANG here Got7 here//

Suho - // Gemini:Roleplaying //Mr. money banks will go all out on the props and outfits..Suho would be into making the story line as realistic as possible -sometimes straying from sexy role playing to just playing make believe with his girl.

BaekHyung //Taurus:Hickeys // Baekhyung has too many members in his group and has an over excessive need to mark whats his… 

“my lips on you”

Chanyeol // Sagittarius:Karma Sutra positions // Chanyeol would be like an over excited and deep red blushing as he looks at a book with you on Karma Sutra positions and be like “ohh..keke this one lets try this kekeke..omg baby don’t even look at this picture*blushes crimson red*”

D.O // Capricorn:Anal sex //

Kai // Capricorn:Anal sex // “..no hyung i need this later..”

Tao // Taurus:Hickeys // Seeing you trying to cover up your hickeys later would make him extremely happy and embarrassed…“i did that…it’s okay babe let the world see your limited edition tao marks..hahaha..dont be mad ahahaha..cute~”

Xiumin, Luhan, Sehun //are all Aries:Spanking //

even in public Xiumin gets a little handsy 

*preparation is always good. stretch. stretch. stretch*

*dirty thoughts* Im gonna tap that latter, how dare you tease me in public.

Kris // Scorpio:Dom/Sub // I still can’t determine is Kris would be dom or sub.

cause like theres is complete dork side personality which could easily make him sub….and shuting up when told to do so and following orders

and then there like this…

Lay // Libra:Doing it in a public place // Lay don’t give no fucks

he’s just like now babe, here, now please babe.

Chen // Virgo:Quiet planned marital sex// sweet, lovely and adorable

Infatuation (Stages of NewTina drabble #3)

3- infatuation (الكلف) kalaf: the love begins to intensify and has a physical effect on its lover.


During the week he had stayed in New York after Grindlewald’s arrest, Newt Scamander resided in a hotel not far from MACUSA headquarters as an apology gift for all the arrests and attempted executions and whatnot from Madame Picquery (or, he suspected, a way for her to keep an eye on him and his beasts). He appreciated the gesture and tried to politely decline the offer only to trail off at the formidable president’s withering glare.

“What was that, Mr Scamander?”

“Erm- I said th-thank you very much, Madame Picquery, I appreciate your gift very much,” he stammered, trying to avoid being yelled at in front of the mysterious fedora-wearing aurors.  He couldn’t see much under said fedoras but he guessed they were trying not to crack up with laughter at his timidity.

“That’s what I thought.” Madame Picquery nodded, seemingly satisfied.

The room in itself wasn’t very bad. Sure, it was comfortable and had all the basics needed for typical survival, but he couldn’t help but feel a slight pang every time he looked out of the window into the busy lit streets at night and saw Tina and Queenie’s apartment complex.

He still saw them a couple of times since their adventure across the Big Apple, often across MACUSA meeting rooms, a knowing look passing between him and Queenie, or a lingering handshake that feels so wrongly formal between him and Tina.

Tina…

Three days had already passed since that day, and every night, the same events rolled back like the wheels of a hot dog cart in his head.

The Cruciatus, his creatures, letting go of Jacob, Tina…

His conscience always seemed to dance around the thought of Tina, didn’t it? And was he to blame? How was he, when he fell for her so?

Newt shook his head and drank from the minute Gillywater bottle in his hotel room’s mini-fridge.  It wasn’t healthy for him to think about her so often and not do anything to mirror his thoughts into action. He saw her nearly every day, running around MACUSA with her determined look, laughing at her coworker’s jokes by the water dispenser, dreamily casting small charms with her wand when she thought no-one was looking… why wasn’t he following the feeling he had in his gut and speaking to her? She would have, no doubt. She did do a lot of things he wouldn’t.

But what was there to say? he thought as he unlocked his case.

Tina, nice spellwork you’ve got there. Do you mind teaching me that charm? I’m quite terrible at charms, you know. Barely passed my OWL because of it.

Oh, AHAHAHA! Tina, you’re hilarious! No joke, you’re so funny!

Slow down there, Tina. I don’t want you slipping on the wet floor and getting hurt, because if you do then I’ll most likely go insane because I cannot handle seeing you in pain after all we’ve been through. Also, if I see Abernathy trying to do so much as come near you then so help me I will hex him into the hospital because although it may not look like it I am a very protective, jealous human being.

Yeah, maybe it was for the better that he didn’t speak to her honestly.

Even his beasts sensed something different around him, how he carried himself like a ghost. It was almost as though he was drifting away with his thoughts. There was just something about her that anchored him to reality; without it he was levitating with no particular destination in mind. He knew that if they could speak then they would’ve given him advice that can only be described as… raw.

The slap that woke him from his constant dreaming state was the during the last few minutes of his presence in New York.

“Does Leta Lestrange like to read?”

Newt blinked. It all came rushing back.

The sea wind washed through his unbrushed hair, the cold nipped at his nose. The sound of people in boots walking the wooden dock snapped at him.

They were finally through with the small talk, done with the meaningless chatter that they went through because it served as a worthy time-filler.

It was a shame he had less than a minute to leave her behind.

And oh, oh did he regret his beasts’ would-be advice.

Of course he should’ve told her a long time ago. What was he thinking? It was suddenly so real, so raw, so Tina.

Tears pooled at her lower eyelids, and Newt could’ve drowned in them.

“Wh-who?” he wanted to believe that she didn’t know her. He wanted to believe that he had forgotten her.

Tina looked at him in disbelief. “The girl whose picture you carry.”

Newt bit his lip at the ground. “I don’t really know what Leta likes these days.”

I don’t know anything about her these days, he wanted to scream. Leta Lestrange, WHO?

“Oh,” she gasped, almost relieved.

“As people change.”

Tina blinked, her expression one of awe. “Yes.”

“I’ve changed,” he announced, only to wince, realizing how outright he sounded. “I think… I-I'm… maybe a little?”

Newt wished to hide in a whole as Tina hid her tears by looking at the ground. Now, instead of small talk filling the gaps between them, there was only silence.

Her innocent query only opened the door to questions he wanted to answer but didn’t have time nor the emotional capacity to.

His boat roared in the distance, roared for him to hurry up and get it over with.

Nonetheless, he persisted. How could he dare leave her behind after all they’ve done together, all they clearly felt for each other?

He glanced desperately at the impatient beast of a boat, trying to seize every moment he had with Tina.

His Tina.

He tried to ignore the soft sound of her swallowing back her tears. If he were to acknowledge it then the boat would’ve left without him as he would’ve held her to him and never let her go.

He forced himself to stay civil, for her sake.

“I’ll send you a copy of my book, if I may,” he said, almost aggressively.

Tina gave him a watery grin. “I’d like that,” she consented.

Newt gazed upon her in a way that can only be described as the gaze of an infatuated schoolboy. He was besotted, awestruck, choking in her, in her realness.

And my, did he love every goddamned second of it.

Suddenly, he felt as though all feeling of his left arm went cold. To his internal horror/joy, it were moving of its own accord. He awkwardly tried to tuck a strand of Tina’s black coffee hair behind her ear but failed, letting the strand loose, all the while caressing her soft cheek with his callused fingertips.

Tina’s face betrayed her.

She was just the same as him: speechless yet bursting with millions of conflicting emotions that can be solved if he just came a bit closer, a bit nearer-

She gave another breathless gasp, as if she had nothing else to say.

Her face broke into a contended smile, her simple way of saying a sweet goodbye.

But… he couldn’t leave. Not now, when he had so much to say to her before he went on with his miserable life.

No. It was too late.

He wrenched himself away from her before he had the chance to do something stupider. He walked a few steps away before having an epiphany.

What if-?

He turned around, breathless, smiling as widely as he ever had before at the sight of Tina tenderly touching the place where his hand was.

“I-I’m so sorry- how would you feel if I- if I gave you your copy in person?”

The surprised glint in her soulful black eyes, the giggle that escaped her was music that danced into his ears and made itself a home in his happiest memories.

To Newt, she shone. She was a beacon of hope amongst the dreary people on the dock in this grey city.

She was a promise he made, and a promise he intended to keep.

Her beam was what motivated him to finish his job once and for all.

“I’d like that, very much!” Tina declared happily.

She gave him another breathless laugh .

Oh, he was so deeply entrenched in her affection that he nodded like a fool to her sacred words. She gave him one last happy sound before he turned around to leave again.

His mind was so blank with want of return that he stopped in his tracks right in the middle of the boat’s platform.

He wanted to look back.

He wanted to return.

He wanted to tackle her, to spin her around like a trophy, to kiss her until their lips were numb and watch the boat leave without him together with her.

He shook his head sadly to himself, knowing that if he so much as lingered for another second, then there would be no return.

But she was his return.


Love now begins to intensify and have a physical affect on the lover.

Hey LoK characters, is the dress blue and black or white and gold?

As basically everyone knows, two weeks ago people were raving about whether the dress was this or that, both or not, warring and not caring, etc. So of course, the LoK characters find this out a little late, and react … in a variety of reactions.


1. Korra

At first sees blue and black. But…

Korra: This dress is obviously blue and black.

Korra: [looks again]

Korra: Wait it’s white and gold now.

Korra:

Korra: [keeps looking]

Korra: WHAT THE HECK IT CHANGED RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY EYES!


2. Asami

Korra tells her about the dress.

Asami: Hm, I see white and gold.

Korra: Keep looking…

Asami: Korra? I see white and gold still.

Korra:

Korra: AM I GOING CRAZY? Asami, don’t you see it changing colors before you’re eyes??

Asami: Sweetie, it’s white and gold.

Korra: [twitching] …O-okay, if you say so. 

Asami: Are you…twitching?


3. Mako

Seems to not care, as “he is above the craze”.

Korra: Hey Mako! What color is this dress?

Mako: Why are you asking me? Do I look like a fashion expert to you?

Korra: Well…

Mako: Don’t answer that. Just ask Asami.

Korra: I did! You’re no help, I’m going to ask someone else.

[Korra leaves picture with Mako]

Mako: [makes sure Korra left]

Mako: Never mind the color, that dress is atrocious.


4. Bolin

Doesn’t really know.

Opal: Bolin, Korra just showed my this picture. Do you think it’s blue and black or white and gold?

Bolin: Uh.. What do you think?

Opal: Hm, I see blue and gold personally.

Bolin: Ahahaha.. So do I!

Opal: Bolin…

Bolin: Sorry, I have no idea.


5. Zaheer

Believes the dress has the freedom to be whatever color it wants to be.

Zaheer: Unlike other people who insist on labeling the dress a specific color, I think it has its own right to be whatever color it wants.

Zaheer: It can be black and blue, white and gold, purple and green, orange and red, if it so chooses.

Zaheer: Now this dress is an example for us all. It defies the expectations of society!

Zaheer: This dress is a symbol of freedom of choice!

Mako: … It’s a dress.


6. Kuvira

Sees the dress as blue and black. Forces everyone in the Earth Empire to think the same.

Kuvira:This dress is blue and black.

Kuvira: If anyone is found spreading lies that the color is white and gold, then they will be sent to a reeducation facility. Understood?

Kuvira’s Army: Yes, Great Uniter!

Soldier #79: [whispers] In my opinion, I see blue and gold.

Soldier #80: WE HAVE A DISSENTER!

Soldier #79: AHHH! WHAT HAPPENED TO “In my opinion”??


7. Desna and Eska

They make factual observations.

Desna: It is a dress.

Eska: Indeed. A subject quite small to be the center of such a large controversy.

Desna: Yes. It appears the lighting is what causes the appearance of the number of different accounts on its hue.

Eska: It’s humorous that this could cause our own cousin to break into hysteria.

[Desna and Eska laugh]


8. Toph

Bolin goes to ask her thoughts on the subjects.

Bolin: What do you think about the dress?

Toph: Ah, the dress, I can feel everyone across the world going crazy about it.

Toph: I see a sparkling purple dress with wings attached to it.

Bolin: …What?

Toph: I’m BLIND you idiot!


9. Spirits

Believe the humans are being ridiculous. Until they themselves get dragged into the argument as well.

Aye-Aye spirit: Can you believe these humans? And the Avatar too! Gah, the dress is only one color and that color is-

Baboon spirit: White and gold.

Aye-Aye spirit: No, you baboon, black and blue!

Baboon spirit: Who you calling baboon… anthropomorphic lemur??

Aye-Aye spirit: You, obviously! IT’S BLACK AND BLUE JUST LIKE YOU’RE GOING TO BE!


10. Azula

“What dress?” Says she.

[Azula burns photo of dress]

Azula: As you can see, there is no dress to be spoken of.

Azula: Now stop talking about it unless you wish to be ashes just like it over there.

Azula: [sees another photo]

Azula: HOW DARE YOU RISE FROM THE ASHES! YOU HAVE BEEN SHAMED!

[Azula burns other photo]


11. Airbender kids

2 vs 1, majority rules, but Ikki’s not taking it.

Ikki: The dress is black and blue!

Jinora: Ikki, it’s white and gold.

Ikki: Na uh!

Jinora: Meelo believes me.

Meelo: It’s white and gold, woman!

Ikki: But-

Meelo: No, you’re a girl, so you can’t tell that it’s white and gold. Girls can’t tell what the right colors are.

Jinora:

Jinora: Nevermind, it’s black and blue. Now what were you saying about girls, Meelo?


12. Vaatu

Doesn’t care. Just cares about the fighting.

Vaatu: Ah, the chaos from this dress is delicious!

Vaatu: Yes, yes, continue arguing!

Vaatu: I will grow strong enough to overpower you Raava!!

Vaatu: MHAHAHAHAHA!


13. Amon

Says that the white and gold believers are opposing anyone who believes otherwise. Begins another revolution. Over a dress’s color.

Amon: As you can see, the tyrannical white and gold have suppressed all other opinions!

Amon: We must strike back, not just for what we as individuals believe in, but as a whole that despises white and gold!

Amon: They must realize that we are all equal, that they are not better than us!


14. Shiro Shinobi

Commentates on the dress’s color and the reactions to it.

Shiro Shinobi: The dress appears to be black and blue.

Shiro Shinobi: Wait, it has no changed to white and gold.

Shiro Shinobi: I have no idea why it is doing this.

Shiro Shinobi: From the cries across the city, neither does anyone else.

Shiro Shinobi: Fights are breaking out everywhere! Everyone is going crazy of what the dress’s real color is!

Shiro Shinobi: The dress appears to be black and blue again.

Shiro Shinobi: I believe I’m going crazy. That’s all for tonight, Republic City.


15. Varrick and Zhu Li

Plans to make a mover from it.

Varrick: Zhu Li, do you have your notebook?

Zhu Li: Yes.

Varrick: Okay! So there has been a conflict that has lasted generations! The Bruises and the Fairs are represented by the colors black and blue and white and gold, of course. Are you getting this?

Zhu Li: Yes.

Varrick: The continuous war was due to who was right and wrong about which side killed their leader, see, they used to be one people, but then started having different opinions and such.

Varrick: There was always one, though, that always changed sides for some unknown reason, probably since the poor guy wanted to tick everyone off…

Varrick: And so this random soldier switch back and forth between sides, having his descendents do the same.

Varrick: But then, he realized something! That the BRUISES were right all along!!

Varrick: And then he made a whole lot of peace and saved the day. The end.

Zhu Li: “That the FAIRS were right all along!” Done.

Varrick: Did you say Fairs?

Zhu Li: …No dear.

want to go deeper?

for many years i have tried so hard to go deep into hypnosis, i would feel relaxed i would feel everything i was being told to feel but it felt so light. i need it to hit me harder to the point i would not be able to fight it.

then just 2 years ago i started smoking marijuana. my first thought after feeling the high, i started to look for a hypno you tube video. I picked a random one plunged in my headphones as i sat in the chair in front of my computer staring at the spiral so focused on the words, when i was told to forget my thoughts, i could feel them slipping away from me. i could no long remember my name, who i was or how old i was all i cared about was being a mindless slave it was shear bliss when i was told to sleep i slumped over in my chair and im sure if i was not high i would have felt uncomfortable and fallen out of trance. but i stay like that for what seem like 20 min or so and when the key word was said i was that slave.

 i can honestly say that weed help me to go deeper if the key word is said while im sober i feel like i want to obey but i still have full control. while im high if the key word is said i drop into trance like nothing shear bliss i tell you. so if you want to feel the best high in the world weed alone wont do it but mix in some hypno and open up your mind to it OMG mind blown.

i wanted to do a test, to see if this would work on anyone who has never even thought of hypnosis before but was already a stoner. so i hopped onto the app whisper and started looking for stoners and i found a few only one was willing to give it a try. he had never thought about hypnosis and thought i was full of shit…. ahahaha little did he know what was about to happen we skyped while he watched the video i had send him to put him under to be a slave, to trigger him i would have to say “who do you obey?” he would they reply with “i obey you master” i waited for  him to be done with his session, he came too and i asked how he felt “i feel good well res….” before he could even finish what he was going to say i said the trigger….. their was a pause then he giggle “woooo that feels so weird” “what dose?” “it feel like i want to give in” “so let it…. who do you obey” he gave me his reply in an almost robotic voice i could hear his breathing deep and slow, i had him do a few thing and he just did it with out thinking i woke him up and he was himself. he was tripping out i knew now that this could work on anyone who is high and has an open mined. 

if you have given this a try or are going too share your session with me. i would love to hear from anyone 

anonymous asked:

(modcherrio) omfg can i request osomatsu going to dinner with his s/o and their parents but when his s/o is like "daddy could you pass the salt" both him and their dad reaches for the salt

IM ACTUALLY LAUGHING SOO HARD OH MYGO MY GODDDD IM DYING HDSJFHDKSJDJFHDSKF IM DEAD THIS ASK KILLED MEEEE

Osomatsu, despite being bad at everything else, is a good people’s person. He’s confident, funny, and good at twisting the truth in a way that it’s kinda true, but really isn’t. Your parents fell for his act immediately, believing him to be a normal person who is on “paid vacation” since his poor little parents were, according to him, horribly, terribly sick. You subtly roll your eyes over that line, so very Osomatsu-like. 

Osomatsu spoke to your dad the most, since he was sitting right in front of him. What he was actually saying, you didn’t really know, but you hope to the heavens that he didn’t say anything that would make your dad mad. You made small chat with your mom, who was just happy to see their little ____ become an adult with a partner so caring.

You started to drink the soup next to your main dish and it was a bit blander than you anticipated it to be. Seeing that your dad was closest to the spices, you ask him if he could pass the salt.

“Daddy, could you please pass the salt?”

Both Osomatsu and your dad start to reach the salt-

“What.”

“What.”

You pinch the bridge of your nose in exasperation. Oh god he did not just do that.

“Ahahaha, s-sorry sir! I-I thought they said, uh, um, Raddy-”

You step on his foot and Osomatsu jolts up slightly in pain. You whisper out of the corner of your mouth, “You’re making it worse.”

He whispers back, “It’s not my fault you call me daddy when we-”

You stomp on his already bruised foot again and he yelps out in pain. Your parents look at you two with extremely confused expressions. You laugh and ask again,

“Could you just past the salt, please?”

llllllets-not  asked:

Imagine the conversation that went down when Ford found out Stan married a statue 😆😆

“Stan, I’ve almost finished packing for the voyage, do you nee- Stan, what is that?”

“Ford, meet Goldie! He’s a classic, I’ve had him for years.”

“Too many years, apparently. Get rid of that creepy thing.”

“Now Ford, how can you be so heartless? Me an’ Goldie have history. And uh, I also just remembered, we may be or may not be…married.”

“Heh. What? What do you mean, married? I’ve heard of that odd woodpecker wedding law but this-”

“Two words: Las Vegas.”

“Ah. Figures. Well, why didn’t you ever get it annulled?”

“Didn’t see a point. Plus, the paperwork would’ve been a pain in the ass.”

“Paperwo - wait. Did this union happen before or after you began signing my name?”

“Uh…”

“Stan.”

“Give me a second, my memory ain’t what it used to be.”

“Stanley.”

“Pfffft, oh, my mistake. Looks like Stanford Pines is the lucky groom! Mazel tov!Ahahaha come on, I saw you smirk when you thought I married the statue! Where’d that sense of humor go?”

“Out the window, when I discovered that I’m married to a statue. Stan, what are you, no - If you bring that thing on the ship, I’m throwing it overboard.”

“Love trumps all, Sixer. You’ll have to throw me with him.”

“That can be arranged.”