ah yes we are the same

Humans are Weird - Culture

Okay so I absolutely LOOOVE the Humans are weird/space orcs conversation going around (I just reblogged a bunch of them). Anyway, it got me thinking. In MOST science fiction, every alien encountered that is intelligent enough to have a culture, has one culture throughout the entire species. What if it wasn’t just lazy writing, but that Humans are totally unique in that. Not only do we have many different cultures, but the complexity increases every time you get mixtures of them because of people living in different places or being born into mixed families etc. It would confuse the FUCK out of aliens the moment they encounter more and more Humans and NONE of them have ANY consistency. 

Alien: *makes the two-finger peace sign*

Human: Woah, hey can you not do that, please?

Alien: Do what?

Human: That hand sign. It’s very rude.

Alien: But… that other Human said it meant peace. 

Human: Oh, for them it might be, but not for us.

Alien: I don’t understand. 

Human: Where I come from, that sign is rude. It might be fine for where that other Human came from so they probably thought nothing of it. 

Alien: But… you come from the same place?

Human: Yes and no. We both come from Earth, but from two very different parts of Earth. We do things differently. Sometimes it feels like we’re just as alien to each other as you are to me.

Alien: Wait, there are two groups of Humans who just do things completely different ways for no reason at all.

Human: Ah, no mate. We’ve got HUNDREDS of different groups. 

Alien: ???

it’s really fun to imagine fake ah crew ryan and jeremy being on the exact same level of “look how covert and ingenious and TOTALLY SUPER A SECRET my alter ego is”

and meanwhile, every civilian and cop and criminal in los santos: “of fucking course we know who the vagabond is. haywood goes out in plainclothes striking up conversations about the decomposition process with the dude serving him ice cream at twisty cone. rimmy tim? dooley fucking walks around with orange and purple hair.”

and ryan and jeremy are just like yes good job a+ we’re so good at being subtle

#the cursed child#write more bibliomom#write about draco spatting ‘potter’ when he spots harry at Albus’ and Scorpius’ wedding reception#lmao#they see each other several times a year#and draco always greets him with that#and harry always hisses 'malfoy’ back#al and scorpius roll their eyes#they know they just do it for the vine

@plumadesatada well, you kinda asked for it and this is where my head went. maybe I’ll make it a series of drabbles :p

(Apologies for the lack of cut, I’m on mobile but I can add one in later)

The platform seems unusually busy this year, and for a moment Harry wonders if it’s just his imagination but he knows it’s not. He’s had the conversation with Hermione in her office about the sudden increase in the magic population in the UK. It’s taken almost twenty years, but the birth rate has finally gone up and they’re starting to recover from the death tolls of the Wizarding Wars.

These are the children born in the aftermath. 

The realization is making him weirdly emotional. But maybe that’s just seeing Lily with her own owl on her arm, her luggage being pushed by an obliging Teddy Lupin who despite being graduated for the last three years, showed up to see her off.

It’s likely a mixture of things. He’s about to turn to his two boys and ask them if they’ve got everything (for the millionth time because inevitably something has been forgotten—there’s always something forgotten) when Albus pushes past him with a happy whoop, wheeling his cart recklessly through the crowd. It takes him a moment to realize what has caught his attention, when he spies the blond hair and feels some of his nostalgia curdle. 

Malfoy’s face—caught off guard in an indulgent smile—also stiffens, the two fathers drawn together as their sons reunite animatedly. It’s only been three weeks since Scorpius had joined them for the Quiditch match up in Brighton, but you’d think it had been an eternity from the way Albus practically flings himself bodily at the taller boy.

Potter,” the other man spits, seemingly unable to say his name any other way.

“Malfoy.” Harry acknowledges him shortly. 

Somewhere behind him, James makes the wise decision to follow after his sister than hang around listening to his father and his oldest rival spit civilities at each other like hissing tomcats.

“Busy this year.” Malfoy comments, grey eyed gaze darting to his son when Scorpius laughs loudly at something Albus has said.

“Seems so.” Harry agrees, forced to smile hurriedly as someone recognizes him, squeezes his arm and says a hurried thank you before rushing on with their offspring towards the train.

“Still Mister Famous then.” Malfoy notes, thin smile ticking up a notch. “I do wonder people don’t have better things to talk about.”

Still infamous then, is on the tip of his tongue when he notes the wide berth people are giving the Malfoys, but he clamps down on the impulse. Scorpius might hear him, and from what Albus has told him the boy gets enough bullying from his peers without hearing it from his elders. And he promised himself long ago he’d never be That adult.

“Yea well,” Harry replies, flashing him a grin that borders of friendly but not quite. “We can’t all be married to the new Chief Sports Editor of the Prophet.”

Malfoy snorts at that, eyebrow raising as he gives Harry what he’s almost sure is an amused look. “Too true.”

“Ugh,” Albus says from somewhere near Harry’s shoulder, “Come on, they’ll be at this all day, lets get some sweets for the train.”

“You’ve already got sweets for the train.” Scorpius replies, but following after Albus anyway, dark and fair heads bobbing together as they move around each other, like planets orbiting one another, bound by an invisible force. 

“He’s getting tall.” Malfoy says, also watching the boys go and idly catching his son’s abandoned luggage cart with his foot, reminding Harry to do the same, managing to stop the listing cart before it rolls away.

“So is Scorpius.”

“Do you think we were that tall at their age?”

“I think others probably thought so.”

“Hm.” It’s a polite, almost congenial sound which Harry takes as his opening.

“I hear congratulations are in order.”

Malfoy turns to face him again, pale eyes wary but curious. “Oh?”

“I hear Astoria is expecting again.”

“Ah, yes.” Malfoy smiles, and this time there is no malice, no pretense at haughty collectedness. It reaches all the way to his eyes with a pure kind of joy, and for a moment Harry can see Scorpius’ face so clearly it hurts him to think of the kind of childhood either of them could have had were it not for the circumstances of their birth. “Yes. March of next year, we think.”

“Congratulations. I hope she’s doing well.”

Malfoy inclines his head again, his joy tempering into something gentler at the real implied meaning. “Yes,” he agrees. “Things are much better this time.”

There’s a crash by the convection stand, and without even turning Harry knows it’s something he’s going to have to pay for.

“Kids, eh?” he says, feeling sheepish at the look of paternal horror dawning on Malfoy’s face as he peers over Harry’s shoulder.

“Boys, here now.” Malfoy says, calling them like they’re well trained hounds as he pushes past Harry towards the stand. “I’m so sorry, do allow me to make amends.”

“Oh, no!” Harry rounds quickly, “My fault…probably…allow me.”

“Absolutely not, Potter, I wont hear of it.”

“Oh yes you bloody will.”

Covered in foaming pumpkin juice and sparkling tongue dancers, Scorpius and Albus share a look. 

“Do you think they’ll always be like this?” Albus asks, taking an experimental lick of his sticky hand, the juice and dancers apparently melding to make some sort of growing taffy. It’s surprisingly good. He should tell uncle Ron and George about it for the shop.

“Probably.” Scorpius replies, attempting in vain to scrape himself clean.

“Where on earth is oh.” Albus smiles sheepishly up at his mother as she comes to a halt in front of them. She glances between the boys, and then to her bickering husband who is all but manhandling Scorpius’ father out of the way. “Merlin’s Beard. Right, you two.

“Is she talking to us or them?”

“Them,” Albus says with certainty. He knows when his mother is directing that tone at him. “Definitely them.”

“Finn could not simply be a sidekick or key ally in the story; he needed a story arc of his own. For the first time, The Force Awakens offered a Star Wars film in which two characters, not only one, are undertaking the Hero’s Journey.”

“Each of these archetypes appears in the Hero’s Journeys of Rey and Finn – but not always in the same way or with the same character in the respective storylines. This makes The Force Awakens an interesting study in the use of archetypes.The Hero, of course, is the central protagonist of the journey. In Rey’s adventure, she is the Hero; in Finn’s adventure, he bears that mantle and Rey fills a different archetype.”

This appeared in the official Star Wars magazine and I can sleep well tonight and my smug smile is so broad, I might still have it when I wake up…

170813 The War fansign: Kyungsoo fanaccounts

@Dyobonbon: Kyungsoo says he’s Meokmul’s and Huchu’s older brother TTTTT he’s their older brother because his mom is raising them TTTTTTTTTTT I couldn’t ask him to draw a ring on a finger TTTTT it was so hot outside and I was so flustered 

@luckyoneD12: I told Kyungsoo some of his nicknames are penguin, maltese, and peach and asked which of those three was his favorite. He said peach 😭😭 and drew me a heart that looks like a peach 😭😭❤️

@J21_J88: I asked Kyungsoo what film genres he liked and he replied that he likes movies indiscriminately. I also asked for a film recommendation so he asked me if I’ve watched Dunkirk, that I really should TTTTTTT

@__pocoapoco: Ah Kyungsoo turned the mini fan in front of him to the fans like he was trying to cool us. Even though its breeze didn’t reach at all, his heart was so lovely I got emotional..( ꈨຶ ˙̫̮ ꈨຶ )

[more under cut]

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BTS Reaction - You being an exchange student and they develop a crush on you

A/N: You all are in high school, senior year! You came from the country England.

Masterlist

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people really need to understand that lesbians and gay men really are no more “visible” or “represented” than bi/pan people. you have a fundamental misunderstanding of how homophobia works, and how gayness is seen by most people (especially homophobes)

like, give me a list of at least ten characters who get to say “i am gay/lesbian”. i cannot really think of many, because most of the time characters are not explicitly one identity. they are hinted to be same gender attracted through stereotypes or some kind of “well, y’know…”, and most of them are jokes or they die (bury your gays has always been a moral lesson on how being sga leads to unhappiness)

when homophobes talk or think of “h*m*sexuality”, they do not think “man who exclusively loves men”. to them, it’s a condition or an act, the same way “s*d*m*te” was a person who had strayed to committing sins (eg anal or oral sex [between the same gender]). they do not think, ah, yes, gay men are 100% sinful while bi men are only 50% sinful. we’re all just s*d*m*tes to them in an equalmanner

so when homophobes speak of h*m*sexuality, it’s not gayness being visible or represented. and acting like it is and we somehow benefit from it is incredibly homophobic and benefits no one but homophobes. like, if these people truly saw gayness as an identity, why would they believe in conversion therapy and shit like “lesbians just haven’t met the right man”? but sure, because the porn category is “lesbian” and not “bi women”, even when it’s porn for men and othen including men, it proves lesbians are more privileged

might write more on this later but yeah, sip on that my friends

cave-in (langst fic)

Lance trying to survive a cave in, communications cut off, and the only way the team knows he’s alive is his suit, but they think he’s back at the village bc that’s where Blue is.

thanks for the prompt @tokyoteddywolf!! (this ended up way longer than i planned it to be)


“I am sending you on a different mission than the other paladins, Lance.”

Lance stares at Allura like she just grew another head- which isn’t all too bizarre, considering she is a shapeshifting alien princess.

“Why?” Lance asks. The other paladins agree, looking to the princess for answers.

“This mission is…” Allura hesitates, pointedly looking down at her clasped hands. “… well, to put it simply, it is…”

The princess takes a deep breath. “Well, Lance, this mission requires a certain level of… seriousness… that I am not certain you can achieve. You see, this is a  very powerful kingdom that could be a potential ally of Voltron. And it has… it has a princess. I am very sure she, and her parents, would not appreciate your-” Allura coughs. “-romantic advances. However, the mission you will be carrying out is of much less importance, and therefore should be quite difficult to mess up-”

Lance interrupts Allura with an uncharacteristically emotionless and quiet tone, though the hurt is clear in his eyes. “So you’re not letting me go because I’ll flirt?”

Allura nervously glances up at Lance from her fidgety hands. “I don’t know that you will, but we cannot afford to lose this opportunity.”

Hunk cuts in, his expression dark. “Allura. You know Lance can’t jeopardize the mission, don’t you? He can handle himself fine. Right, Lance?” Pidge nods rapidly in agreement, and Hunk’s expression softens as he looks to Lance, though Lance isn’t looking back. He’s calmly glaring at Allura, who is anxious but clearly standing her ground.

“I can control my flirting, princess. I’m not stupid.”

“I don’t mean to offend you, Lance. You are a capable paladin with many abilities, but seriousness is not one of them.” Allura’s voice is gentle and sincere, but also firm, as if speaking to a mere child. She patiently returns the stare with an equal amount of coolness that amplifies her royalty. “You being there could risk us a very important advantage that could further our progress to defeat the Galra. I’m sure you understand, Lance.”

“So by existing-” Lance gestures to the other paladins, who are concerned and surprised by Lance’s change in mood- “- I’m holding back the team? I thought I was part of you guys.” Lance’s voice betrays him by cracking at the word ‘part.’

Allura is horrified. “No, no, Lance, I don’t mean to say that you are not part of the team, I just mean-”

“-That I don’t belong? That I’m not important enough to go on the important missions? Isn’t that why I’m the only one that has to go on the easy mission so I don’t mess up everything like the stupid mess up of a person I am?” By now the tremor in Lance’s voice is blatant, rising in pitch with every word he spits like venom. Allura shakes her head wordlessly, tears spilling from her eyes.

“I’m sorry,” she finally says. “I-I…”

“Lance. You know that’s not true,” Shiro intervenes softly. The other paladins are all gaping in disbelief and sadness. Lance turns away, not wanting to be pitied by his friends.

“Just brief me on the mission,” Lance says curtly to Allura, who nods shakily in response.

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BTS reaction to you calling them daddy

As requested by @totoros-flying-delivery-service​ here you go my love :)
AND as usual hope you all have a good day, please send me some requests for reactions/preferences or just send me a message if ya wanna chat, I DON’T BITE

though it would be hella nice if I did

the following content is for mature minds only ;)


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anonymous asked:

do you have anymore 1990's and 2017's pennywise headcanons? when i first read the ones you already posted, i fell in l o v e with them! i need moooooore 😩

AH YES, ANON!!! I see that a lot of people are liking my previous hcs for these two so, it’s about time i elaborated on them some more:

There’s gonna b more domestic types of hcs (like if they shared the same fucking sewer like it’s a fucking house or something, lmao) included in this, soooo UHHH yeah here we go!!


Old penny-

  • He definitely has some chub, lemme tell you. This guy has basically a dad bod- like beer belly and all and is a gold ol hairy ass idiot.
  • He’s also super fucking hairy– like this dingus is a big ol bear ((NOT in a sexual way though- like he’s literally a furry someone get his ass some water)), ok??
  • He’s also more sophisticated (from my take between the old and the remake) than New penny (he’s less rambunctious and is more likely to be calm in certain situations… this doesn’t stop him from being a grumpy ass fart tho). 
  • He’s so fucking old school with everything and “doesn’t understand these millennial terms”. 
  • Probably can waltz really fucking good and would be the life of a fucking shindig. 
  • But is also a terrible and awkward dancer when he wants to be (it pisses New Penny the hell off).
  • Smokes like a fucking chimney™.
  • Couch potato ass bitch- ™.
  • Is a very good cook, cooks for New Penny. 
  • Does a lot of the dirty house chores (dishes, cleaning shower/toilet, etc.) and is also super handy and can fix a leak in 0.05 seconds?? (lmao bitch literally lives in pipes im-.)
  • Watches really stupid shit on tv, like dumbass soap operas, and gets really into it.
  • “Call me old one more fuckin’ time- I dare you.”
  • Hates anime ™ .
  • Cynical and sassy as FUCK.
  • When he does use “millennial terms”, he uses em’ all fucking wrong and he basically sounds like a “cool dad ™ ” (New Penny HATES ITTT) .
  • Socks w/ sandals ™.
  • Stained tank-top + heart-print boxers ™.
  • Refuses all of the pointless things that New Penny puts in the shopping cart— eventually caves and makes a $100+ dollar purchase because of that dopey-eyed begging

New Pennywise-

  • Instagram baddie level of millennial ™ .
  • Dankest of all memes ™.
  • H-Hewwo…?” *Old Penny prompt yells @ him to shut his fucking mouth*
  • Bean pole ass binch. 
  • Is actually really good at sewing, crocheting, knitting, etc…???? (Will fix tears in both of their suits and would probably make old penny socks- bec get you a man who can make socks…) 
  • Is actually a lil’ hairy- has very fine hairs tho (all the same color as the ones that are barely clinging on to his mile long head).
  • Is more primal and quick to anger than Old Penny (which is really something, considering that Old penny is a big fucking grouch).
  • Will throw a temper tantrum if he doesn’t get what he wants. 
  • Cheeky shit thinks he’s smart— but he’s not
  • Loves reality TV and gets really into shit like “The Bad Girl’s Club” and screams n roots @ the TV when they start to fight (would also die for “Rupaul’s Drag Race”). 
  • Does household chores like laundry, vacuuming, dusting, etc. 
  • You might just find his ass asleep in the weirdest/ most contorted position ever one day. 
  • Snuggles like a dumb cat. 
  • Runs into things easily because of his walleye. 
  • Cries easily and is so fucking dramatic
  • Fucking can club dance damn good and Old Penny would yell @ him to stop. 
  • Super flexible- exercises by doing yoga?? Stretching?? randomly dropping into splits??
  • Loves anime™
  • Eats so damn much- even more than Old Penny. 

HOLY SHIT—-…

That’s about all i got for rn anon!!! Thanks for the ask!!

((and i purposefully left out my miles, n miles long NSFW HCs for these two– might put ‘em in a separate post because it gets…. complicated ;ppp ))

“We certainly could do with [a loan],” said Lord Vetinari. “We need the money. I was about to say that we cannot afford mercenaries.”

“How can this be?” said Lord Downey. “Don’t we pay our taxes?”

“Ah, I thought it might come to that,” said Lord Vetinari. He raised his hand and on cue again, his clerk placed a piece of paper in it. “Let me see now…ah yes. Guild of Assassins…gross earnings in the last year: AM$13,207,408. Taxes paid in the last year: forty-seven dollars, twenty-two pence and what on examination turned out to be a Hershebian half-dong, worth one-eighth of a penny.”

“That’s all perfectly legal! The Guild of Accountants-”

“Ah, yes. Guild of Accountants: gross earnings: AM$7,999,011. Taxes paid: nil. But, ah yes, I see they applied for a rebate of AM$200,000.”

“And what we received, I may say, included a Hershebian half-dong,” said Mr. Frostrip of the Guild of Accountants. 

“What goes around comes around,“ said Vetinari calmly. He tossed the paper aside. "Taxation, gentlemen, is very much like dairy farming. The task is to extract the maximum amount of milk with the minimum amount of moo. And I am afraid to say that these days all I get is moo." 

 "Are you telling us that Ankh-Morpork is bankrupt?” said Downey. 

 "Of course. While, at the same time, full of rich people. I trust they have been spending their good fortune on swords.“

 - ‘Jingo’ by Sir Terry Pratchett

cartoonphysics  asked:

in response to the "why you know so much about everything" post, i would like to inquire about the aforementioned banana famine

Ah, yes, the great Banana Famine. Dark, dark days indeed. Gather round my children, I am going to tell you a story of great tragedy.

Eons back, in a strange far away land, in a world now long gone (circa 1950), the Gros Michel reigned supreme. It was the one Banana to rule All bananas. Gros Michel (literally Fat Michael in French, also known as “Big Mike”) was the main banana cultivar grown in Central America and sold around the globe. A noble specimen, it’s thick peel and dense bunches made it resilient, easy to ship, and yes also fat. Look. Look at it. This banana is thiiiiiiiicc

hard to find good photos. it would have also resembled the goldfinger banana. looooook et it, it so thicc

so thicc. 

Ahem.

And all was well and good and peaceful.

Everything changed when the Panama disease attacked.

Ah, the Panama disease. The great banana plague. The Banana Blight, if you will. Songs were written in elegy to the terrible destruction it wrought. Like, actually. Here’s the “Yes we have no bananas” song:

It was Chaos.

Vast tracts of plantation banana trees, noble warriors, slaughtered, cut down in their prime. Ah! the grief. Ah! the loss.

But, amid the havoc of what wikipedia and I refer to as the Gros Michel Devastation Era, an unlikely hero arose. You know it as simply a humble banana. But our hero has a name:

cavendish, it’s named cavendish. 

The Cavendish banana, a cultivar that had been mass produced since the turn of the century, but only just then got it’s Time to Shine. For whatever reason, Cavendish bananas grew just fine in the same Panama disease-ridden soil that destroyed Gros Michel trees. So yeah, we planted them, fought the blight, won the war, got bananas back. 

But every war has casualties. 

Never again were bananas so tasty. Never again, were bananas so thicc.

I warned you this was the story of a tragedy. A moment of silence for our fallen comrade, please. Raise your wands to our late, great hero, Gros Michel.

(You can still get em in some places tho. Or like hybrids? idk. ) 

And kiddies, that’s the story of the banana famine as i know it.


Other deets:

BANANAS HAD SEEDS HOLY SHIT LOOK AT THIS

LOOK AT IT

bananas were cultivated over time to be seedless. 

Bananas were deboned. dwell on that.

unnfff yeah

feels so wrong but so good

unnnfff

misc stuff 

  • cavendish bananas may or may not be dying. We may or may not see the dark days of plague descend again. idk, look it up.
  • There’s a story (not proven) that the reason artificial banana flavor tastes weird is b/c it was based on the flavor of the Gros Michel. If so, it might be cause Fat Mike had a stronger taste (due to higher levels of isoamyl acetate). idk.
  • the “Yes we have no bananas” song was written in 1922 during an earlier outbreak. src.  like any good plague, panama disease has a history of hovering over it’s fearful victims, sometimes for years, before striking the final blow.
  • sources are in the links above, also see the links on these wiki pages
  • i swear if i get hate mail on a banana post i don’t even know what i’ll do, probably stab a wall with a fork and eat it.


I want to share one more thing with you.


I saw this with my own two eyeballs. now you have too. we never speak of this again. we take this to our graves


shhit I’m tired. 

you guys owe me a reblog on this one. Honor system, don’t mooch.

-BGP signing off

quackertrash  asked:

Hey September. I just found this blog about you and love your new little sweater. I was wondering if you still sleep in your tissue bed or if you've found or made a new one. Also, do skeletons sleep a lot?

Ah, yes. About that tissue bed… September insists on using the same kinds of items I use. He doesn’t want special doll furniture or anything. So I had to get a little creative.


Hey, September.


Look, I want to show you something.


I found this little sponge I thought we could use as a bed for you.


What do you think?


Soft enough?


I take that as a yes.


Let’s cover it with some snuggly fabric then. Sleeping on a bare sponge is not very comfy.


How neat you are. That looks very good, doesn’t it?


So, now this person asked me about -


…September?


Uhm.


Oh, so you’re just - 


Well.


I don’t know about other skeletons. But September sure sleeps a lot…

Harsh Words Pt. 2

Requested By: A lot of people

Pairing: Peter Parker x Reader

Description: You and Peter were what you would call “frenemies,” you despised him, but he wanted to win you back, that is until he found out you were the new villain in Queens, the one he’s been fighting.

Warnings: Swearing, could still possibly be triggering for some people, beware ending, pls don’t hate me oh no

Word Count: 2,995

Tags:

@kaylaleslie1120 @sweetbadheart @valecerron @randisnotonfire @looking-for-my-pixie-dust @timmers18 @hocotom @multifics

@davros2004 @fragilefrances @everythinguncharted @j-k-aesthetics @5foot2butdontmesswither @yoyococo18 @freyyia

I hope I tagged everyone omg, sorry if I missed you!

A/N: AHHHH SO MANY PEOPLE LOVED HARSH WORDS PART ONE!! I’m mind blown how much you all enjoyed it, I really wasn’t expecting it to blow up as much as it did, so I’m truly honored and appreciative that you all took the time to read what I wrote and left amazing comments that made my day, therefore, I love you all. Also, I left it on a really intense cliff hanger, that way if people liked it enough again, I’d do a part three if requested enough. :)

Part one

Originally posted by misunderstood-adventures

There was never a moment where Peter would have thought you two would stop being best friends, but what topped that was seeing you that night, holding those people hostage.

You were the most down to earth, kind hearted person Peter had ever known, and to see you being this dark, dangerous, well, villain, broke him inside.

“Peter, I brought you some ice, now would you like to tell me what happened?” Aunt may questioned, handing him ice wrapped in a cloth for his black eye that was forming.

“It was nothing really, I’m just really clumsy May, you know this.” Peter mumbled, thanking her for the ice, before placing it on his throbbing eye, which he had you to thank for.

May didn’t look convinced but she let it go, not wanting to stress Peter out anymore than he already was.

It had been almost a full month since the hostage incident, Peter remembered it perfectly, his Spidey senses were tingling, he swung to where he sensed the issue, finding the villain he had been fighting against for weeks.

There was a moment where he thought something felt off, but he pushed it to the back of his head, he should have listened.

He knew the second he heard your voice, but he didn’t want to believe it, he didn’t want to believe it was you, so he did the only thing that could prove him wrong, to prove to himself that it wasn’t you, so he asked the most simple question.

Who are you?

What happened after that was a bit of a blur, he remembers hearing the laugh, your laugh, and then getting hit a few times.

He remembers holding his stomach in pain, glancing up to see you backing away into the darkness, hearing his name fall off your lips, and it was then that he had to face reality, it really was you.

After that was more than a blur, it was disbelief, he remembers his heart pounding erratically in his chest, before flying through his window, scaring the shit out of Ned who looked just as panicked once he saw Peter’s face.

But it was the moment that Peter told Ned everything that happened, that it hit him that this was all really happening, that it was you, his ex-best friend that was now his enemy.

The only difference was, he wasn’t going down without a fight, he said he’d win you back, and he meant every word.

Three months had passed since the incident between you and Peter, you’d give him glares in the hallways, as he gladly returned them, Ned would awkwardly look between the both of you, while Liz and Michelle would help boost your ego even more.

Liz and Michelle had become your all time best friends, you all did every thing together, whether it was going shopping, eating, even movie nights, you all did it all.

However, there were moments where you missed the old times, where it would be Peter, Ned and you, doing all those things together.

But, things happen, people change.

You were in your first period, of course, the class with Peter and Ned, you made sure to sit as far away from the two of them as possible, as they did the same.

“Okay, good morning class! Today we will be doing a fun little experiment, but to do it, you need a partner,” Mr. Scott started, but waved his hands seeing everyone automatically trying to pair up, “But I will be assigning partners, I know how you all get when you’re with your friends.” He eyed everyone, pointing his fingers, making some of your classmates laugh.

“Alright, lets start with Ned and Amy,” He trailed off, Ned giving Peter a wide eyed look, and then your name was called, “Y/N and… Ah! Yes, Peter!” He smiled cheerfully, as you looked across the room at Peter.

He could have paired you up with anyone, LITERALLY ANYONE and he chose Peter, just your luck.

Mr. Scott soon dismissed everyone once they had a partner, but you and Peter just sat at your desks, refusing to move first.

“Y/N, Peter, get to work.” Mr. Scott scolded, making you roll your eyes, as you gave Peter a look, basically implying ’get your ass over here before I throw a chair at you.

Peter let out a huff, before grabbing his belongings and moving to your desk, the feeling of satisfaction running through your body as he slumped into the seat next to you.

You glanced at him, observing his features, something you hadn’t done in a while, you hated to admit it, but he looked good, like really good.

“Alright so um.. Lets just get this over with.” Peter muttered, making you nod and start the experiment.

You two didn’t talk the entire time, actually getting the experiment done for once, unlike last time, that is until halfway through.

“You want to tell me what you’re up to?” Peter muttered, his eyes never leaving the bubbling liquid in front of them.

“In you dreams Parker.” You muttered back, putting another chemical into the liquid in front of you.

“How’d you know I dream about you?” Peter whispered jokingly, making you freeze for a moment, making Peter smirk slightly.

“You know what I meant you dumbass.” You grumbled, placing another chemical into the beaker.

You both then went back to silence, until Peter broke it, again.

“You’re so much better than this you know.” Peter pressed on, making you roll your eyes, something he caught out of the corner of his.

“Like you’re one to talk.” You huffed, making his head turn slightly, looking at you in bewilderment.

“What is that supposed to mean?” Peter fired back, his eyebrows furrowing in confusion.

“A few months ago, you ruined my life, and now that it’s happening to you, you don’t like it, ironic isn’t it?” You smiled, looking at the brunette haired boy, watching as his face scrunched up in anger.

“I won’t let you hurt anyone Y/N, no matter what.” Peter spoke lowly, making you smirk and let out a laugh.

“What makes you so sure Peter?” You raised your eyebrows, moving closer to him, his heart beating rapidly in his chest, his breathing becoming heavier.

“Because I know you, and I know somewhere deep down in there,” His hands motioned all around you, “That my best friend is still in there, and she’s hurt, because I hurt her, when all she did was care about me.” Peter declared, and for a split second he saw something change in your eyes, but quickly disappeared.

You blinked a few times, turning your focus back to the experiment, this time, satisfaction was going through Peter’s body, not yours.

The school day ended quicker than you anticipated, Peter’s words still swarming your head, you couldn’t get them out, no matter how hard you tried.

Everywhere you walked, Peter was there, watching you, making sure you didn’t harm anyone, which made you anxious.

Until you arrived home, and you put your outfit on, your mask hiding your face, and the confidence and darkness returned to you.

You weren’t sure how this happened really, after Peter broke your heart you needed an outlet, and what better way than to cause a ton more issues for the one and only Spider-Man?

You went out your window, and before you knew it, you were causing so much commotion, and you were positive Spider-Man was on your trail, which only made it even more of a thrill.

The thing was though, you didn’t actually harm anyone, you never laid a finger on one person, you just did enough to cause an issue to trigger his Spider-Man senses.

You were now running, mainly from Spider-Man himself, you knew he was around, it was late, making it the perfect time for Mr. crime fighting spider to appear.

You ran to a familiar place crowded with people, making them all get on the ground, your threats coming out harsher than you intended, and sure enough, Spider-Man appeared.

“I thought I told you, I wouldn’t let you hurt anyone, therefore, you need to step back before this gets ugly.” Spider-Man threatened, making you laugh darkly, sending chills down his spine.

What was happening to you?

“I guess you don’t pay attention much do you?” You crossed your arms, looking at the masked figure in front of you, before motioning around you.

You were on the boating dock, people on the ground, shaking in fear, unsure of what you would do.

Spider-Man took a look around, his eyes widening on the mask, it was the dock where he cut the boat in half, guilt instantly hitting him, and you knew it did.

“P-Please don’t h-hurt us..” One of the hostages choked out, making your heart break the slightest bit, before you went back to your alter ego.

“This needs to end, now.” Spider-Man growled out, he knew exactly what you were up to now, the dock, the people, everything clicked.

You were using his own fear against him.

“Everyone get out of here now!” Spider-Man shouted as he shot a web at you, but you dodged it swiftly, as everyone started running, getting out of there as quick as they could.

“Did you really think this would work? Huh!” Spider-Man shouted, clearly angry, making you grin through your mask.

“Didn’t it?” You shot back, making him freeze for a moment, which you took as your opportunity to attack him.

You caught him off guard, hitting him in the stomach and face, as he groaned in pain, holding his stomach.

“This can either go two ways..” He groaned out, webbing your arm and yanking you down to the ground.

“Either we fight until one of us can’t anymore, or we settle this the way we should of months ago.” Spider-Man shouted through his mask, and for a moment you wanted to take the second option, but you held a grudge, and you weren’t giving up that easy.

You stood back up, a few feet away from him, before charging at him, he shot webs at you, some hitting you and some not, and you made sure to hit him a few times before he hit you back, knocking you to the ground.

“Please, d-don’t do this..” He groaned out, as you slowly stood back up, you knew you were going to be severely bruised in the morning.

“Don’t you get it!” You shouted, ripping your mask off, revealing cuts and bruises already forming, as your eyes started watering.

“I want to forgive you so bad.” You choked out, a tear slipping down your cheek, as you watched him slowly slip his mask off also.

“Then why don’t you?” He pressed on, watching you sadly, he hadn’t seen you this vulnerable since that day in the cafeteria where he humiliated you in front of everyone.

“Because you broke my heart Peter.” You whispered, tears now falling down your cheeks, your lip trembling.

Peter stood there shocked, were you implying you liked him? Or more so, loved him?

“Y/N.. I didn’t.. I-I didn’t know..” Peter stammered, trying to find the right words as you laughed bitterly.

“Maybe once you cared about me, but after you shut me out, all of that went to hell, I was alone Peter, I had nobody.” You looked at him angrily, more tears falling down your face.

“I-I told you, I-I thought I was p-protecting you!” Peter tried to defend himself, stepping forward slightly, but you stepped back, raising a finger at him.

“No, Peter,” You took a deep breath, “You chose that day what you wanted, and it was clear, you didn’t want me.” You gave a sad smile, shrugging your shoulders as Peter shook his head frantically.

“No, Y/N, that’s not true at all!” He shouted, running his fingers through his hair, pacing back and forth.

“How am I supposed to believe you Peter?” You choked out, watching the brunette haired boy in front of you.

“Because, if you give me another chance, I can prove it to you, I-I can be a better person, your person.” Peter’s spoke softly, his own eyes starting to tear up as he observed you carefully, his heart beating so hard you could hear it.

“Promise me.” You whispered, shutting your eyes tightly, and for a second you heard nothing, until he breathed out the words you’ve wanted to hear.

“I promise Y/N.” Peter whispered back, and for a moment the old you was back, and Peter recognized his best friend again.

But then a loud sound filled the air, something, or someone flew through the air, shooting into a building, making it catch on fire.

You flinched, watching in horror as the building started to become more and more dangerous.

“Peter.” You whispered, looking at him wide eyed, you were right in the path for the building.

His eyes widened, realizing what was going to happen, you stood there, your body trembling in fear, you screamed at your legs to move, but they didn’t.

And then it happened, a loud explosion erupted, echoing throughout the dark sky.

Peter started sprinting to you, the sound of the building falling getting louder, metal and dust starting to cloud the air.

“Y/N!” Peter shouted, his eyes searching frantically for you, his legs burning from running so hard.

You tried to run, the best you could, before making eye contact with Peter, your eyes filled with fear, as was Peter’s.

“Peter!” You screamed, as he ran to you, pushing everything he had left in him to get to you, he had to get to you.

The air was getting worse, and before he knew it, the building fell completely, and so did his heart.

His eyes searched for you, his mind moving at warp speed, this couldn’t happen, not now, not after everything that’s happened.

And then there was silence, Peter’s heart breaking at the scene, he was too late.

That night in Queens, it was as if time stopped, and all that was heard was Spider-Man’s strangled sobs and screams.

fic: Yin and Yang

title: yin and yang

genre: fluff/tiniest bit of angst if you squint

warnings: swearing | word count: 1500

description: a sunset beach walk after phil’s thirtieth birthday brings talk of things to come and decisions they figure they need to discuss. plus there’s this metaphor about the sunset.

yin and yang; light and dark, day and night - two opposites that are made to be together.

“I think you’d be a sunrise,” Phil says.

Dan quirks an eyebrow and prompts him to elaborate. “I’m all gloom and darkness, I’m definitely a three am sky.”

Phil frowns. “Maybe, but you’d be scattered with stars. And you’d be five in the morning, not three, the sun would be just about ready to rise. There is some light in you, Dan.”

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magnusbaene  asked:

also consider this: after the wedding they both take every single opportunity to say the words 'my husband'. doesnt matter if everyone already knows who theyre talking about (mostly bc the other is right next to them.. which is added incentive bc they get to see the joy and love on their husband's face)

ellie please i’m so weak

the thing is that everyone knows who they’re talking about, there isn’t a soul in the shadow world who doesn’t know that magnus bane and alec lightwood got married. their names are widespread and doesn’t matter if it’s shadowhunters and downworlders, there’s no one that doesn’t know who they are. there’s no one who doesn’t know who they are talking about, but does that stop them from making that distinction every single god damn time? no of course not

every single time it’s “oh have you met my husband, magnus?” and “ah excuse me for a moment, my husband alec is calling me.” and everyone around them just wants to roll their eyes out of their head because yes of course we know who you’re talking about. but at the same time it’s definitely pretty damn cute. it’s my husband in a way that lights up in their eyes like little shards of light. it’s my husband in ways that makes them both stop and just stare at each other as though they remembered again for the thousandth time oh, we’re really married aren’t we? we’re really married. we really did this. we’re together, forever, you and i. and it lights them up something awful like kissing for no reason in the middle of an event where they should be mingling with other people. it’s magnus’s hand pressing into alec’s back and pulling him close because alec’s eyes are shining like he just remembered the weight of those words again. and it’s smiles, huge smiles across the room when they overhear each other or when someone else says it. “this is magnus bane and his husband, alec.” “ah yes have you met alec lightwood and his husband, magnus?” and it’s just sweet candied sugar on the tongue and a feeling like unity.

but the worst part of all is when they’re alone. when they’re alone it’s “good morning mr. lightwood-bane.” it’s “what would you like for breakfast mr. lightwood-bane?” it’s “i missed your mouth mr. lightwood-bane.” and sometimes maybe “i want to sit in your lap, mr. lightwood.” or “you look good all laid out like this underneath me, mr. bane.”

REASONS WHY LESBIANS HIT THEIR HALLELUJAH:

CLEXA (please be endgame)

CAMREN (wish they’re real but they said they’re not lesbians so chill) bruh. DELUSIONS! They’re separately single! they are real!

FLEURMIONE (OMG please read their fanfics they’re so compatible)

SHOOT ( JUST SHOOT ME IN THE FACE!)

BRITTANA (ENDGAME BITCHES! where the hell is the spin-off?)

HEYA (”maybe” there’s something going on before. I dunno ask their trailer.)

ACHELE (they we’re real at some point. Do not argue with me.)

FABERRY (should’ve happened. they made a mistake.)

BECHLOE (ugh. please let them happen already geez don’t you feel the sexual tension?)

KAYLOR (again. same as Camren they are not lesbians. *cough* wish they were *cough* ugh they’re so fuckin’ cute!)

COPHINE (ah the puppy and the geek monkey. hon hon hon baguette croissant moot moot)

SWAN QUEEN/SWEN (there’s so much potential here. Do not let it go to waste. ugh. So frustrating.)

HOLLSTEIN (soy melk, yellow pellow, jawlines, the baeman, the black cat, murder her for christmas!)

SLEEPING WARRIOR (where the heck are they?! we need more!)

RED BEAUTY (ah. so adorbs! the bookworm and the big bad wolf. who wouldn’t ship them? They’re the real Beauty and the Beast)

SPASHLEY (yes. spashley, <3)

TILLOW (y’all let’s not forget the lesbians in the late 90′s! where’s the respect?!)

RIZZLES (lesbian subtexts subtexts subtexts subtexts subtexts)

GAILLY (yass. yass. yass.)

SANSAERY (QUEENS! nuff said)

VALKUBUS (suck me dry. k. bye. )

DOCCUBUS (let’s play doctor. oooh kinky!)

KARMY (*playing in the background* what if we were made for each other? born to become bestfriends and lovers? -what if by: colbie caillat)

REAMY (heyooooo shrimp girl! FCUK REAGAN Y U EYEBROWS SO ON POINT?)

CALZONA (oh yeah!!!)

LUCE & RACHEL (imagine me and you. piper and lena; so perf. so perf!)

TALA AND LEYLA (i can’t think straight. too hot. HOT DAMN!)

EMISON (*whispers* shayley *disappears into the night*)

VAUSEMAN (hotness overload. RUIN ME!)

.JONISS (we all know who Katniss wants. bruh.)

#feel free to add #disclaimer #gifs not mine #they belong to their respective owners #got them all from google btw

Signature Weapons

So, I don’t think anyone will argue with me when I say that a lot of Fantasy stuff draws pretty heavily from Tolkien’s work. Like, Elves, Dwarves, Orcs, Humans… regardless of your particular brand of Fantasy thing, odds are they’re gonna follow a lot of the same rules and tropes as established by J.R.R. But one thing that I rarely see emulated/copied/whatever is the idea of a Signature Weapon.

‘Cause, like, if you think about the LotR books or the Hobbit (admittedly the only 4 Tolkien books I’ve read, but I feel like most people fall into that category), the gang doesn’t really swap out their kit too much. Like, once Bilbo gets Sting, he kinda sticks with it, and then once it gets passed to Frodo, that’s just what Frodo uses from then on (until he gets kidnapped by a spider and it becomes Sam’s for a bit but that’s not really important). Aragorn maybe swaps swords while he’s in Ranger mode, but then once he gets his Legendary Family Weapon, that is his. I mean, hell, in the books he straight-up calls Sauron out by using one of the Palantir and, rather than showing himself, he shows the sword. That sword is the symbol of him and his office as future-king. That sword is him. There’s a running theme that the weapons used by these characters are, in a sense, extensions of themselves, a part of who they are, and not something to just be swapped out on the fly.

But nothing really follows that trope. More specifically (for the sake of my personal interests), no games follow that trope. Like, unless you are very high level (in whatever system/game you’re playing), odds are you’ll be constantly swapping out your weapons. Every time you beat a boss/encounter/whatever, you’ll check the weapons you got vs what you had and, if there’s something better, surprise, time to swap.

And, like, I get it. Of course that makes sense. Obviously you want the best stats and whatever, but also, like, it feels inherently wrong to me whenever I (or one of my players) is like “Well, I used this +2 Longsword to kill that dragon and that was cool but, hey, here’s a +3 Longsword so time to throw out the old blade!” Again, I understand it from a mechanical perspective, but it kills me from a narrative perspective.

Because, like, (and let’s talk Pathfinder here for a moment) yeah, you can upgrade that +2 Longsword to be better than the +3 one. Or just equal! But like, to do so requires the proper feats (either for yourself, a party member, or an NPC ally/shopkeeper), a fair amount of downtime (1 day per 1k gp of cost), and a fair amount of money. Getting that +2 Longsword to a +3 would cost 10k at a vendor (or 5k if you can do it yourself), which would also take 10 days, which is often a lot in Fantasy Time. Whereas, hey, when you killed that dragon, it had as part of its loot a +3 Longsword for free (which, by the way, only sells for 9k gp so even if you sell it that doesn’t cover the cost of upgrading your old sword).

Like, maybe it’s different for other systems, but I know in most RPG video games, I’m constantly swapping out my kit for better shit (Diablo and Diablo-like games are notorious for this, actually). But I almost always feel bad for doing so. ‘Cause I really like the idea of the Tolkien-style Signature Weapon. “Ah yes, this is my blade, DudeSlayer, that I have used to slay a thousand dudes!” (we can’t all be Tolkien-tier wordsmiths but you get my point, I hope). And, like, a lot of the time I try to do that in games, even when you’re clearly not supposed to. Like, in Elder Scrolls games, even if I don’t keep with the same weapon for a long time, I often have weapon racks and display cases in my home that I store my old swords and stuff in. Because, like, think about it. Even if it is just, like, a random sword that you found in a ditch somewhere, that is a sword that the Dragonborn used, and in a hundred years that sword will be Legendary.

I don’t really know if there’s a good solution to this. I mean, for most games/parties I don’t think this is even really a problem that needs solving. It’s just always been a thing that’s kind of rubbed me the wrong way. I’ve homebrewed a few rules in my own games (though I don’t think they’ve really come up yet), but nothing’s really clicked in a way that seems right. I know that Matt Mercer has done a lot with the Vestiges in Critical Role, which as a kind of leveling-up weapons/armors/misc can kind of fix this issue. 

“You’re breaking up with me?” she said, mouth half-open, brows fiercely knitted together in confusion, as she stared up at the man before her. 

She had been in the middle of dissecting a brain, her gloves covered in brain matter when he’d begun on his ‘speech’. The speech she’d listened to in silence and ever-growing bewilderment, scalpel in one hand, while she was donning a pair of goggles, partially not managing to see Sherlock through them.

She thought he was talking about a case when he’d stormed inside, the way he didn’t let her interrupt except with a tiny ‘hello to you too’ – until she’d caught wind of the words ‘feelings’ and ‘dwindling’. 

But all of it seemed rehearsed, stilted - the sort of thing one read from a novel.

She half-expected him to bring up notes, or read from a page.

Molly knew she should have stopped him earlier, but she wanted to hear whatever he was trying to be falsely sincere about. She wasn’t an idiot, she knew when he was telling the truth these days, too easily.

And then he’d finally stopped, letting out a breath like it was a heavy confession from his side, while she just nodded briefly, still perplexed.

“But - we’re not - together?” she’d said after a minute of silence.

He blinked, while she stared at him, biting her lip.

He just continued blinking furiously, like he properly didn’t know what to do, as his speech clearly hadn’t prepared him for this.

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