ah yes today was a good day

HAPPY CARYL DAY, EVERYONE!

The Emoji Movie Script

the world we live in. it’s so… wonderous. mysterious. even magical. no… no no no.. not that world. i meant this one. the smartphone. each system and program app is it’s own little planet of perfect. technology. all providing services so necessary, so crucial, so unbelievably profound. look who just sent me a text! addie mccallister? it must be a mistake. or a joke. or a scam! don’t send her your social security number. she’s right there! that’s our user, alex. and, like every freshman in high school, his whole life, everything, revolves around his phone. and, because the pace of life gets, faster and faster… phones down in five. and attention spans get shorter and shorter… and… you’re probably not even listening to me right now. who has the time to type out actual words? and that’s where we come in. the most important invention in the history of communication! emo gees. that’s my home! textopolis. here, each of us does one thing, and we have to nail it every time. christmas tree just has to stand there, all festive. merry christmas! it’s still september, tim! and princesses… i am so pretty. they just gotta wear their crowns and keep their hair comb. we are so pretty. devil, poop, thumbs up, they just show up and they’re good to go. but for the faces, the pressure is on. cryer always has to cry, even if he just won the lottery. hurray, i’m a millionaire! laugher’s always laughing, even if he’s just broken his arm. ahh!! ah! i can see the bone!! ah ah ah ah ah… and me, i’m a meh. so i gotta totally be over it all the time, you know? like meh, who cares. which is not as easy as it sounds. i gotta be mehhhhhhhhh i GOTTA! be! mehhhhhhhhh morning misses D, i see you have the little minis with ya! oh, they’re so… cute! NYAH, SO ADORABLE, I CAN’T TAKE IT! I WILL NEVER GET THEM TO SLEEP! STICK TO YOUR ONE FACE, WEIRDO. OLE! OLE! OH NO! OH NO! it’s hard to only act blasé. when, living in textopolis is…. just so exciting! hah low good simeans! those ah some shalp attach shays! yes, well we have business to attend to. whot kind off business? monkey business. ha ha ha ha, i sounded british. meh… Oh, that was really good.. meh ? meh … meh ha ha… what the freak ya doing there, mate? practicing. today is my first day on the phone. oh, droit. i’m gonna be so.. meh. what are you going to do? blah! me and the boys are gonna throw ourselves on the barbie! woo! puh-zow! gooday, mate! hey, koh knee chee wah! sorry emote icons!! oh, I hate knocking over the elderly.. let me help, let me help… oh, my colon!!! ducks… hey, is that the time? HEY, my eyes are up here, pal! woo ooh hoo! woo hoo! right on time! and last week, Alex sent me next to THIS text! huh? huh? HA HA HA THAT ELEPHANT PISSED HIMSELF HA HA HA AH HAH HA HAH HAH UH HUH HUH why are YOU laughing, freak? ho ho ha ha ha! now, unlike me, my parents are total pros. gene, please tell me you weren’t laughing just now. gene so help me i swear oh, he was, I remember. let’s go see if you can get it right. i have some bad news, gene, and i’m afraid that you’ll have the wrong reaction. ok, what’s the wrong reaction? anything other than meh. come on! i don’t want to be late! i’m not letting you go to work today. wait, WHAT? you’re just not ready, son. come on!! working in a cube is an Emoji’s whole purpose in life! everybody my age is working on the phone except for me! oh sweetie, that’s not true. ow! YEAH! i’m going to work on the phone and I’m only ten! that’s because I believe in you! should we wash our hands? ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! we’re number two! we’re number two! see? i, i know i’m different, ok? but, i need to… i can be meh… i just… want to be a working emoji, you know, like… everybody else… and then… i would finally fit in, you know? ah, you fit in, honey. no I don’t, mom. I never have. but I could change all that if you just let me! just give me a chance! but what if you get sent out on the phone, making the wrong face? no dad, i’ll make the right face! look! maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah? you’re so handsome when you make that face. i think he’s ready, mel. meh. come on, dad. let me prove it to you. if you really think you’re ready… YES! yes i am! i promise i won’t let you down! wow! Congratulations, everyone! What an exciting day for all of you! oh, it’s really her! oh, pizza! first day on the job, hi, hi! don’t be nervous! i won’t bite! hi, i’m smiler! ho ho ho ho ho… DON’T TOUCH ME! Hi! i mean.. hey.. as you know, i’m smiler, i’m the system supervisor here, because I was the original emoji. here’s how it works. it’s nothing fancy! wait a minute… it’s really fancy! you each have your own cube on the emoji bar! if alex chooses you, should you be so lucky, your cube will light up! it’s showtime! the scanner will scan you, and that scan will get sent right up to alex’s text box. and let me tell you guys, there is nothing like getting scanned for the first time. a har, you’re gonna love it. now over here is the favorites section, where you’ll find all the most popular emo gees. and of course, you’ll find my cube here. whoo. you are smooth. just doing my duty. ha ha ha! what did i say? come on, tell me you aren’t just a little bit tempted? steven, for the last time, i don’t want to buy a timeshare. come on, man, it’s high five! you know me! i’m a favorite! Alex hasn’t picked you in weeks. when he stops picking you, you’re no longer a favorite. there’s gotta be some sort of mistake, i mean, look at me, i’m an attractive, hand-giving high five! oh! fistbump! come on in! hey, ladies! FISTBUMP? he’s a knucklehead! literally! look at him, I can look like that! ugh, ow, cramp.. big mistake.. oh… help me.. help up a hand.. oh… here you go… thanks mate… hey, little man, how about you create a distraction, and i’ll just slip under the rope! uh, oh, is someone lost? smiler, hiya, just leaving. yeah, you know, just killing time before i go back to my cube in the far corner where Alex can’t even See Me ANYMORE! you may not be a favorite anymore, but you will always have a place, in a cube! yeah, in the nosebleeds… uh, i’m standing right here? words hurt. the most important thing I can tell you is to just be yourself… basically, happy itself… i am always smiling… places, please! emo gees to your cubes! attention, we’ve got incoming! gotta be meh, gotta be meh. oh my gosh, my own cube! i can’t believe it… oh, i could put a plant over here, and over here could go an inspirational calendar, okay, gotta be meh… look at our son get on there, i’m beaming… with pride! you don’t think he’ll actually get picked, do you? heiroglyphics. heiroglyphics was an ancient language of picture forms. does that remind anyone of anything. hello. a language of pictures… anyone? early heiroglyphics back in ancient… i gotta reply to addie’s text! what should i write? nothing! nothing? words aren’t cool. ok, be cool, be cool… alright, alex is not sure how he wants to play this… oh! i would really love it to be me! beam me up! beam me up! i need thumbs up on standby! oh yeah! thumbs up is going in! wait! alex is changing his mind! he’s moving! ok, looks like it’s gonna be meh… i’m so nervous, i could almost shrug. we are go for meh! initiating scan! okay, you can do this. ah! i can’t do this! i can’t do it! stop the scan! i can’t, it’s too late! oh! what’s he doing? he’s making the wrong face! good for him, little… wait, what? ugh. abort, abort! oh, shi… shut it down, shut it down! ah! what is that emoji? all the emo gees present, evacuate the cube! evacuate the cube! i gotta get out of here! i’m trying! oh, jeez. sorry, everybody. that is not what i meant to do! i kinda.. i kinda panicked.. are you even a meh at all? uh, who, me? like you are, is a malfunction! a malfunction? no, i can be meh, just give me one more chance? you know what would be really fun? a board meeting, where we can find out what to do with you! i just wanted to be useful, you know, fit in! now everybody’s calling me a malfunction. i am a malfunction. even if you are a malfunction, gene, your mom and dad still love ya. i knew you weren’t ready. let’s get you out of here and take you home. one day, all of this will blow over, and everyone will almost forget about what you did. until then, you should probably stay locked up in the apartment. wait, you’re gonna hide me away? you’re embarrased of me. it’s for your own safety. we’re trying to protect you, son. gene, where are you going? i’m not going to run away from this. i’m an emoji, and, even though i’m not exactly sure which one… i’ve gotta have some sort of purpose here, i know it. gene, no! sweetie, please! so, how’d it go, gavel? hey, lightbulb, tell me what’s going on in there. what… poop… what is it? tell me turd, tell me truth. what happened? i know it was an accident. we all have accidents you’re so soft, poop. not too soft, i hope. i came up here to defend myself, but, uh, you seem pretty happy. so, good news? i’m always happy. oh, right, yeah, truth. but the only thing that could ever make me unhappy, is if one of our emo gees has made a mistake. which would cause alex to lose faith in the phone… and then, our whole gets wiped out! smiler, i devil pinky swear promise to you that i will never, ever make a mistake in the cube again. oh, we know you won’t, gene. we know you won’t! ha ha, you know, the first time you said it it sounded genuine, but then you repeated it, and, and then, now it’s weird. we’re setting you up! with our best anti virus bots! so they’ll, like, uh, they’ll just, they’re gonna fix me? actually, delete you. but yes! wait, what? if you get deleted, you don’t have to worry about department heads, or the future, or lying about being a malfunction! because you’re deleted, right? right! good job! bots! no! stop, he’s escaped! party time! oh, wait a minute… the air is better here! beer, tea… i’m coffee! sorry… ish… so ish e. my old cube! ugh, pinkeye. mike! my name’s not mike… ah! there’s AV bots coming! what, me? just because i’m in the wrong section? holy toledo! what do we do? quick! this way! let’s go! don’t tell anyone you’re about to see this. they’ll never find us down here. where are we? the basement? nope. welcome to the loser lounge, where the emo gees who never get used, hang out. go fish! fishcake with swirls sweep so you won’t cry. sweep so you won’t cry. sweep so you won’t cry. i almost got deleted! me! high five! hey, what’s up high five? they weren’t trying to delete you, they were trying to delete me. you? what’s so important about you that they’d send out an entire team of bots? they say… i’m a malfunction. gasp oh, you bringing malfunctions in here now, high five? for crying out loud, abandoned luggage, that had better not be my leftover chinese food… uh… what chinese food? huh ha! do you have any idea what it’s like to be living large? hashtag blessed? the favorite of the favorites, and then demoted to this pit of despair? here, will you hit my callouses for me? at least you’re a working emoji, that’s all i ever wanted. well, if that’s all it will take you to be satisfied, then just find a hacker and get reprogrammed. it’s not that complicated. where would i find a hacker? in the piracy app, duh. ugh. and who took my clear nail polish? piracy app? to get there, i mean, i have to leave textopolis. so? i’ve done it. would you be a brother. one of the princess emo gees left the phone altogether, now she lives on the cloud… mmm… ooh, that is good. i’m sure the hacker that helped her do that could easily reprogram you. The name’s jailbreak. jailbreak? that’s great? reprogrammed. i just need to get reprogrammed, and then i can finally be the meh i was meh to be! help me find that hacker high five, will you? please? maybe this hacker can help you, too? like, rewrite some code? get you into the favorites sections? wait a minute! ow. i’ve been trying to use my charisma and sensitive entitlement to get me back on top when all I need is a hacker! today’s your lucky day! let’s roll! hey, can i come too? talk to the hand, bretheren. i thought i was… bye, felicia. ciao, fishcake with swirls. daddy’s headed back to the VIPs where he belongs! wait, what about the bots? good point, good point. ow, ow ow, ow… hey… i shouldn’t have picked the cactus. i shouldn’t have picked it. you didn’t even try to get the tree, it’s baffling. let’s go. high five? hello? high five! where are you? i’m right here! here we are! end of the text aisle. no way. come on, gene, it’s perfectly safe! ah! gene, help me! high five! oh no, this is all my fault, high five, I… i’m just messing with you! it’s just one of those rubber finger monster puppets from the eighties, i collected the whole set! alright, you coming? uh, what do i do? what do you mean? just take a step through the other side. this, is it. the next time i come back here, i’ll be a real meh. high five? woah! are you finished? where, where are we? welcome… to the wallpaper! wow. this place is incredible! each app is a whole new world. ow, that’s my face, get off my face, thank you. what is this place? WeChat! it’s like a whole other world! oh, it is. what are they? they’re bubble pups, they might be cute, but man, are they clean. bubble pups? they’re stickers, gene, try to get with the program? this is so cool! wait, what’s in that one! everybody’s talking about themselves! how does he know so many people? none of these people know him, but they like him, and that’s what matters in this life, popularity. uh, i, i think i’d rather just have a real friend. a real friend? how’s that going to get you anywhere? what you need are fans! they give you complete and unrelenting support! as long as you’re on top. poor gene, i blame myself. i blame you, too. i just wanted to be supported. you just wanted a vacation. you take that back, mel. bots, they haven’t found gene by now. he must have skipped town. you mean the wallpaper? our boy’s on the run. how about we find him ourselves? yeah, sure. tell those bots to follow those mehs. i’m sure they’ll know about all those freaky deaky apps Gene would hide out in. i’m really good at making plans, you guys, right? here we are, the piracy app! this is where we’ll find jailbreak. um, but this is, the dictionary app. that’s just what alex wants his parents to think. this is called a skin. really? what could a teenage boy possibly want to hide from his parents? just try to keep up, this place can get a little rough. ahoy mateys, look who’s back! high five! i’m a bit of a celebrity here, always welcome. ow! loser! come on, follow me. oh, great, emo gees! i thought the conversation just got dumber. ugh, internet trolls, just ignore them. eventually, they’ll get a job, or a girlfriend, or some sort of purpose in life, and then they’ll stop. virus, we’ll just, we’ll just walk over this way… hi! it’s so great to see you again! do i know you? it’s spam! just sign here and i can get you special discounts on vitamins and coupon offers that can save you up to 25 percent! 25 percent? nonono no no, don’t get sucked in! back off, spam! it’s the only way to do it. back off! thank you very much! you can illegally download our CD right here! hey, trojan horse, how are you? yeah, what’ll it be had? i’ll have a bottle of… hack, daniels, hmm? maybe with a plate of… cheese, and hackers, kapeesh? you try to buy a hacker, you can just ask, you know. oh, sorry, um, yes. we’re looking for a hacker named jailbreak. oh, i know a guy who could hook you up. right over there. oh, yes. patable. no, not him. her! wait, he’s a she? hey! jailbreak! mind if we join in? yes. that’s the thing about the internet, is that you never know if someone’s being ironic or sincere. i sincerely, unironically want you to go away. ha ha ha ha, so good… so here’s the thing, my friend gene here has a little problem. well, see, i’m supposed to be a meh, but i don’t really feel… yeah, yeah, and we thought that you could help… the princess, you know, off the phone… woah, hold up, that’s not a meh face. bots, they’re after me! how are you doing that? look, it’s just something that i can do, can you help us? follow me. bots, delete my history! i need to wipe my entire hard drive! i made the most delicious cinnamon buns! maybe if there was something to uh, jog my memory? come on! move! hey trolls, wipe our mailbox wearing a tuxedo! hi, it’s so great to see you again! this tunnel will get us out of here! move! get us out of here! move! did that cloud taste sweet to you? ow. ow. ow. help me. help, i’m stuck! sweet motherboard! where am i? candy crush! get me out of here! hey, cornface! try getting him out the top! already on it! hold tight, gene! woah! woah! this feels very off.. and smells. i mean, it smells delicious, but, i still don’t like it! the game obviously thinks you’re a candy, even though you’re, weirdly misshapen, you know? what do i do? stay very still! don’t worry, we’ve got your back! right, high five? hey, fingers! you wanna focus? for your information, i happen to have a sugar addiction, and it’s a very, serious… hey, finger head, we have to get Gene out of the game without blowing him up! i don’t want to blow up! we have to match up the candies so that Gene will drop to the bottom. and we can’t match him with any yellows, or else… oh! don’t do that, please don’t do that. watch. got it? knock 3 in a row, don’t blow gene up, got it. and, we have to be careful. yeah yeah yeah. careful! woo hoo! candy! yo! no no no! don’t do yellow! do NOT do the yellow! i said careful! hey, addie! i… i was just wondering, if, you are… tasty. what? um… delicious. excuse me? sweet. hey addie! uh… hi nikki. see you later, alex sugar crush. ah! i’m so over this. Wireless Repair Service, how may I help you? i’d like to make an appointment. it’s like this phone is playing games with me! woah! hey, what does this do? get me out of here! ooh… suck it in… stop it… stop it… ow ow ow… it’s not working! well, there’s one option left. we line you up with the yellows. but you said not to do that! special candies get transported to that jar. the game might think that you’re a special candy. and… what if it doesn’t think i’m a special candy? well… ah! jailbreak, hello? hello, jailbreak? uh, sorry. what if it doesn’t think i’m a special candy? oh, i’m not too worried about it. alright, just do it. gene, gene! you’re alive! you were trying to see if i had somehow turned into candy, weren’t you? yes i was. and you have not! hey, looks like something popped up on alex’s calender. ah, i’m sure it’s nothing. uh, alex made an appointment at the phone store? calm down, everyone, calm down. don’t worry, everything is fine. maybe alex just wants to buy some accessories. uh, his appointment is with techinical support. well, i’m sure we’ll have plenty of time to figure this out. uh, his appointment is for tomorrow. then maybe it’s just for some routine maintenance? uh, actually, it’s to erase the phone. listen, gene, i’m about to become your knight in shining armor. you are? oh yeah. but first, we need to get uploaded to the cloud. that’s where we’ll find the source code to reprogram you. the… cloud? isn’t that off the phone? ding dingding ding! you got it! mmhm, yeah, the cloud! off the phone! uh! we’re in candy crush, oz, i know a shortcut to just dance, which is right next to dropbox, where we can get uploaded to the cloud. mmhm, of course, just go dive into the dropbox and vroom! hold up, here’s the stinker. before they let us into the cloud, we have to get past this… firewall. the firewall uses face identification. it’s really annoying, because i’ve already tried to get through. guessed wrong once, and now i’m locked out for life. locked out for life? you’re thinking, because i can make different faces, the firewall will think i’m different emo gees! yeah, i wanted to say it, because it was my idea. you know, women are always coming up with stuff that men are taking credit for. you know what, well, let’s hit the road. high five, you coming? i’m coming! why do i always think i’m going to come around on black licorice? ah! oh! my precious… move it! sudden death, here we come! let’s try this one… you tube? wow, what an original treat, and i don’t even need a remote. that guy is so expressive. he reminds me of gene. yes, something’s really wrong here. our son is a malfunction, and you should have never let him go into that cube. don’t blame me for that now, i am hopping mad at you. see? mary, i think we’re being followed, but don’t overreact. uh oh. i told you not to overreact. what are you doing now? i could be in there for hours. hey, where are you going. i think we should go our seperate ways, mel. i thought i knew the meh that i married, but maybe i don’t. but, mary? this tunnel will help us avoid the bots. thanks for helping us. it’s really, really nice of you. NPD, dude. you’re helping me! move along, move it, why so slow? high five, stop, why are you getting so close? back off. i can’t stop now, i’m having a sugar rush! i’m going to go around you. if i stop moving, my heart’s going to explode! coming through, jailbreak! watch out! hey! watch it, knuckle butt! i can’t feel my face! ha ha! jailbreak, you said back there that i’m… helping you. i’ve been trying to get past that firewall for months! ha ha ha ha ha, come on, come on, the faster we go, the faster I can become a favorite! ah ha ha ha ha ha! woo hoo! look at me i just want to bounce out of here, get off the phone, and live on the cloud! hee hee! ow! what just happened! you know, you don’t like it here? there are so many rules here! what is up with that? the cloud’s supposed to be amazing, it’s full of dreams too… oh, sugar crash. i can’t hold on anymore. catch me, gene, catch me! and you can be whoever you want! thanks. we’re free! come on! oh, oh my gosh, my hands are sweating. you know what, come to think of it, i don’t really remember there ever being a hacker emoji. oh, um, you know, you’re taking too much of my brain space, let’s try to keep the chit chat to a minimum. ooh, someone likes you. what are you talking about? this just like when peace sign gave me just one finger, i knew she was in love with me. let’s go! ugh, i’m never eating another piece of candy ever again… high-five, don’t do it! don’t you do it! it’s already been in there once. don’t do it. wow. move it! are my fingers getting fat? i’ll tell you what, this bandage wasn’t so tight before. okay, we get through this app, and dropbox is right on the other side. we just need to keep it super DL in here. and no matter what, we can’t, turn it, on. OMG this turned it on! what? i’m a hand, it’s a big red button! woah. no no no no! what’s happening! welcome to just dance! follow my moves and you get to move forward! do the wrong moves and you get an X! three strikes and you’re out! out? what does she mean by out? digital death. thanks to you, fingers, now we’re going to have to dance our way out. which is alright with me, because I can shake it like michael. or michael’s glove, anyway. Are you ready to daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnnnnccccccee? this is bad, gene, i can’t dance, i got no groove! come on, everybody can dance! not me, okay? i’m really stiff… see? you don’t… understand? okay, no no. stop, stop. you have to stop. i see now what you are saying? just follow her moves. ready to dance in three! this i can’t do! two! dude! just shut up and… dance! i’m just doing it! hee hee! shamon! jailbreak! i got you! look, just do the music, express yourself! dance? yeah, you got it! now throw some sauce on that dance burrito! woo hoo! i’m doing it! i’m finally nailing this dance! you got it! hee hee! oh ho ho! great job! now you’re moving on to free dance! impress us with your moves to move forward! more dancing? you’re killing it, gene! nice! take it gene! you can break it! wait a minute! i’ve never seen that dance before! what’s it called? the emoji… bob? i love it! you do! everybody! do the emojiiiiiiiiiii bob! ha ha ha! woo! oh! princess! woah! you’re the princess emoji! you never got off the phone! new player! who? oh no! we gotta go! no worry, they’re robots, they can’t dance! downloading thought protocol… can’t dance, he says. heh. hey alex, you gonna dance for us? alex, that’s extra homework for you. yeah, alex’s getting wicked, ha ha ha… alex must be deleting the app! watch out! we gotta get out of here! come on! hoo! this song is my jam! high five! come on! let’s go! hurry! gene! i got you! gene! gene… hey, wait a minute, where’s high five? alex trashed the app.. and high five right along with it. wait, what? wait, trashed? high five is in the trash? he wanted to dance… but, i knew it was a bad idea… i’m so sorry… we gotta get him out of there. gene, dropbox is right here, we have to get to the cloud! and the trash is on the other side of the phone! we don’t know how many other bots are out there! i’m sorry! no, wait! i can’t go without high five. i don’t care how far away it is. gene… that’s my friend down there. i’m not going to just let him get deleted. what, what is it? i’ve always just thought, you’ve got to look out for number one… but what good is it to be number one, if there aren’t any other numbers? wow, okay. i’m sorry, this is, this is my malfunction, i just, i can’t be meh about anything, this is why i’m going to be reprogrammed. well, actually, it’s kinda cool. wait, really? no, i think i know a shortcut. we can take the music streams in spotify. let’s go give that big hand a hand. come on! now it’s trashed the just dance app, and our bots are offline, and it’s giving me a real headache… i am so angry! i really need to stay happy. can we please lighten the mood? no one can resist la fiesta! ole! not that happy. ow! we’ve only got four hours before alex’s phone appointment. if they find a malfunction on the phone, we are all going to be wiped! she said wiped! aim higher, steven. i didn’t want to have to do this, but it is fun to press buttons. the illegal upgrade! now that makes me happy! ah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! i just want to dance.. dance… argh! quiet, you saucy gypsy. ugh, where am i? hi! it’s so great to see you again! you’re in the trash, fingers for brains! get away from me, troll! hi! it’s so great to see you again! i’ve got to get out of here. you can’t! and at the end of the day, the trash gets emptied, and we’re all going to die! oh no, no, no! this is the last face you will ever see! this is spotify? yep, every one of those streams is a different song. is it safe? are you sure that this is a good idea? that’s the point of the wave, dude! can we at least pick a… a colorless stream? okay buzzkill… alex, a bunch of people are hitting the promenade, and i think addie might be there, too… that’s perfect! i have an appointment down there, anyway! i’ve got to get this phone fixed! hey, bubble butt! yeah. ah, much better. so, i gotta ask, is it true that when a princess whistles, birds fly down from the skies.. hello, stereotype, that is a complete and total myth! i’m sorry. did you realize that in the first emoji set, a woman can either be a princess, or a bride? that’s why I need to get to the cloud, where you can be whatever you want to be! get ready! whale song coming! wait, wait, whale what? whale song! from alex’s biology DVD! woah! wow! woah! ha ha ha ha. you’re not going to see that sitting around in a cube. funny, you went out of the cube, and I went in. gene, that means you can’t be yourself. what’s the point? you know, i think you’re pretty cool just the way you are. we’re, we’re going to need this. nobody knows, the touchscreen dramascene. nobody knows my screenshot… trash? me? i used to be somebody. here i am, in an old email Alex never sent. addie, blah blah blah blah blergh… and then there’s me! high five! right there! doing my job! FYI, nobody cares about you. just leave me, troll, and let me die! in this dump alone! let me look for the world’s smallest violin in here, so that you can play it! is that the hand angel of mercy? has she finally come for me? give me your hand! i mean, give me yourself! take my hand, angel! i’m ready to take my place amongst the other great hands of the past. it’s me, gene! gene? the one and only. gene! i got him! take me with you! high five! let go of me! you’d leave me down here? you were wrong, troll, people do care about me! and i’m not upset, troll! do you see how not upset I am? gene! you came back for me! you saved me… it wasn’t just me, jailbreak helped, too. she’s a hugger. give her a squeeze. oh, nonono no. not really, nothing great. i’m not feeling your feelings, relieve me! you filthy trolls, I inhaled your stench, and I was once one of you, so I feel your pain. so now, go. be free! smooth sailing from here. huh ha ha! ugh. gene! gene… gene? are you insta gramming? oh, where is my gene… oh, mary, you’ve really done it this time. no, you haven’t. mel? what are you doing in alex’s trip to france album? i was looking for you. none of this is your fault, mary. it’s mine. what do you mean? is that a tear on your cheek? it’s my fault gene is the way he is. i have other expressions, too. i think they’ve just been buried away. but with gene going missing, and thinking i might have lost you, too… oh, mel, why didn’t you tell me? i didn’t know myself. right now, i’m so overwhelmed with passionate feelings for you. mary, my love for you burns with the intensity of a red hot flame. oh, i like it. let’s go find our son. together. we’ll always have paris, mary. so you’re a princess. so you have a little tiara, very fancy. is it true when a princess whistles, birds fly that’s what i said! no, guys, that’s a stupid myth! what awkward virgin haven are you living in? go read an e-book! educate yourself! uh, jailbreak? what the? what is that? smiley must have upgraded her bots! let’s get out of here before it… hi, do you remember me, it’s smiler! i’m coming to you live from the amphitheater, why don’t you come back to textopolis and we can talk through our differences, okay? my friend here will escort you, alright, i’m gonna see you soon, buddy, bye now! we’re actually going to delete them in front of everyone. psst, it’s still on. it’s still on? oh! jiminy, attack the frauds! seperate! take a look! jailbreak! gene! this way! it’s still onto me! over here! let’s go! we have to make it to dropbox! yes! no! go low! woah! don’t worry, it can’t get in. it’s illegal malware, and this app is secure. come on. welcome to dropbox! you are about to leave the phone. remain seated, please! permanecer sentados por favor! might want to hang on! why do they call it dropbox, anyway? oh, this is why! i see why now! i’d better not see that candy corn again! we made it! you guys, chill. we still have to get past… that. oh… shaw. welcome to the firewall, how may I help you? alright, here goes! what should I do? sit in the corner, and don’t say a word. keep those soft fingers to yourself. yes, your majesty, princess of nightmares! now gene, step onto the password icon, and i’ll feed you the passwords. okay. okay. ten, eleven, two thousand and two. ten, eleven, two thousand and two. ow. cough. access denied. okay, try a different expression. is it going to blast me every time i messed up? yeah, kind of. what do you mean kind of? ready? welcome to the firewall. his favorite food. chimichangas! chimichangas? ow. access denied. huh. this might take a while. oh boy. krav maga! krav maga. major lazer! major lazer. what did i do now? ow. skate, or die! access denied. denied. denied. denied. i don’t get it! we’ve tried all of the important things in alex’s life! his favorite pet, his sport, his favorite grandma… i’m sorry, gene. i let us all down. now, if I had to come up with a password, I’d probably use the name of a girl I like. i’ve been all over the phone! he’s never mentioned a girl. yes he has! hi. when I was in the trash, I read a very interesting email, but, i’m just a dunce, in the corner, forbidden to speak… what email? sorry, what? what email? uh, took it out, at school, he was declaring his feelings of love for her, i guess instead of sending it he tossed it in the trash. high five, this is very important. what is her name? her name, yes! excellent question. it… was… tina. karen. marge. lint, lindsay. ack, allison. sarah, or, lupita. i want to say lupita, but that doesn’t feel right, now i’m saying it out loud. ugh.. gotta find that email, i think i can access the trash. i got it! addie! yes! yes, that’s it, addie! i knew i’d get there! dear addie, you and I, we are like diamonds in the sky. you’re a shooting star I see. a vision, ecstacy. shining bright like a diamond. he used a high-five, see? guess now we know why he trashed it. ooh, shade. guys, should we try this? addie! access granted. oh snap. this place, is, amazing. wow, i can’t believe it. woah. one little emoji could sure get lost in a place like this. i… i guess we should, make you, a meh before that bot comes back home. oh, oh, so we’re gonna do that now. we had a deal, right? yeah, okay. right. i, uh, guess i’ll start hacking. ha! we did it, gene! all our dreams are coming true! i’ll be alex’s favorite again, and you’ll be a real meh! ha ha, yeah! do the hand dance. do the hand dance. and pinky. pop it with the pinky. pop it with the pinky. yeah, but this all seems kinda super fast now, doesn’t it? i didn’t expect to be having these feelings right now. well, maybe you should go and express them while you still can. so, uh, i’ve been thinking, um, ever since we. jailbreak, you’re the coolest, most interesting emoji i’ve ever met. and, after all the adventures that we’ve had, i’m just not sure that i want all of that to go away. because, my feelings, right now, are, like, huge. i just think that they could be enough for me to want to stay the way that I am. if it means that i could stay here, with you, like, forever. forever and ever. and ever. maybe longer than that, even? like in the fairy tales. uh… wait, wuh, what is that? gene, if this is about you deciding not to be meh, then, i am all about that. i like you just the way you are, but i had a plan. right. i’m not just some princess, gene, waiting for my prince. i mean, uh, what you said was beautiful, but, gene… ha ha ha! you’re all… meh! the source code worked! turns out I didn’t need it. for the first time in life, meh is all I feel. oh! gene! i have an appointment. i’m a little early. no prob. i can take you right now. jailbreak! ah! don’t do that! that freaking huge bot has got gene back inside the phone! what? he left being more meh than the meh-est meh face i’ve seen! what did you say to him? it’s what I didn’t say. we gotta go get him. how are we going to get there in time before he gets deleted? ugh.. i can’t believe i’m doing this. you tell anyone you saw this and I’ll crack more than those knuckles. woah. birds do like princesses! it’s not a myth! it’s not a myth at all! what happened with becoming a favorite? because i’d rather have one real friend. let’s go get him. i can’t wait to see that emoji’s face! look at that expression! is that for realizing that you’ve put all of textopolis at risk? causing Alex to question our reliability? hmm? hey, now that’s going too far, even for me! if we could delete this malfunction, before he gets dissapointed, Alex will realize there’s nothing wrong with the phone. and any last words? meh. well, it’s too late for that. delete him! wait! you delete gene, you’ll have to delete me, too. what? i have the same malfunction gene has. dad? oh gosh, i don’t know what to do! yes i do! BOTS! sorry misses meh. wow. i did not see that one coming. smiler, I think you might be making too much stink out of all this. oh really? how about you’re next? i was wrong, gene. i should have believed in you all along. oh, what a touching daddy son reunion moment! it reminds me of the time I deleted you both! oh wait! that’s this time! delete the two malfunctions! How’s that for an entroof gasp oh, great. I can’t reach! oh no! what did you do to my beautiful monst Ow my tooth! hand, button! jailbreak? oh, gene… you really are a meh… what happened to looking out for number one? being number one doesn’t matter if there aren’t any other numbers. alex’s appointment! he’s deleting the phone! nononono no no no no! show me alex. are you sure you want to delete everything? do it! red alert! alex, no! game over. fellas, i’m afraid this is the last call. dude, addie’s here. you should go over. every time I try, i screwed up! i don’t even know how to tell her how I feel! if we help alex connect to addie, maybe he won’t delete us. i might be able to bypass the wipe and get a text through to him. but we’ll only have time to send one. maybe I should go! he has love in his eyes. send me! alex looks nervous, too! he’s more shy than nervous! stop! it’s gene. he’s all of those things! emo gees should only be one thing! oh, really? gasp the princess! linda? not now, mom! gene, you got this. that’s not me anymore. but I have to try. it’s starting! no! it’s ending! almost in? working on it! mom? dad? no.. i’m in! last time I was in this cube I screwed everything up. gene, why do you think I came back? it’s because of you. me. it’s all inside of you, gene. just try to bring it back. and do you. high five! i don’t want to wave goodbye! it’s now or never, gene! jailbreak, now! woah! she got this emoji! no way! hey, i got your text! that’s one super cool emoji! i know, right? a lot of feelings in one! i get it! i like that you’re one of those guys who actually expresses feelings! yeah, that’s me! so, do you think you cou yes, i’d love to go to the dance with you. we made it! oh, i could have lost you, peter pinky finger… oh, you wretchy ring finger, even you, tiberius thumb… change your mind? yeah, maybe it’s weird, but i’m going to hold onto it. gene, you did it! you saved us all! oh, mel… gee hee eene! gee hee hee heene! gene! gene! gene! gene! gene! gene! gene! gene! gene! gene! gene! gene! gene! gene! gene! gene! and us! and high five! and high five! and high five! and high five! hey, what happened, gene? slap me some skin! and a little orange for the pinky! hey high five! save a little hand for later! unless you know the hamburger! back on top of the hand pile! you’re not on the list! wait, what? what’s going on? ha! from now on, everyone is welcome! wait, what is all this? it’s for you, gene! everybody! the emoji bob! this is so jazzy… go eggplant! go eggplant! go eggplant! we are out of Alex’s pocket, emo gees! this is not a butt dial! to your cubes! are we up and running? roger that. good, because we got incoming! looks like it’s gonna be gene. hey gene, ready to try out your new cube? in 3, 2…

Just Ask - Part 4

Originally posted by tumb1rthecreator

Pairing: Steve x Reader

Summary: “The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.” You think, after being alive for this long and leading an team of superheroes, Steve Rogers would’ve perfected his communication skills, but apparently, when it comes to women, he just likes to assume, and that is never a good thing.

A/N: Sorry this took forever to post, I went home to my parents’ for the weekend and I’m in the process of moving so there’s just a lot going on and I’m just broken. I’ll have the next few parts queued up :)

@bovaria totally called it, damn!

Part 3

Keep reading

New Power?

Danny has lately been feeling odd tensions in the air… What could they be??

Human emotions. Yes, Daniel James Fenton has gained a new power, the ability of an increased sense to what a human being feels; at school he would find it difficult to leave the building at the end of the day without a migraine. At home.. His parents are loud, (Mostly on Jack’s part.) so he always answers the door grumpy, just wanting the daily headaches to go away.. But what even puts Danny in a grumpier mood is when a certain lonely, fruit loop stands at the front door step…

Ding Dong

“Danny, could you get the door!?” His mother called out from the door to the lab; she was working on a new invention, one that will for surely mess with Phantom, their’s and the town’s #1 Enemy.

Danny laying on his front side on his navy blue bed, arms resting to his sides, and head dug into his pillow, groaning the teen lolled his head back, to what seemed like one of annoyance and fatigue.

“Okay.” The raven haired teen drawled out exhausted, words just loud enough for his parents to hear the tired voice from upstairs;

school’s a living hell, in other words: it’s his daily dose of Angst, and today he was not having it, considering he just came home from school.

Seconds later, trudging down the stairs he opened the door rather harshly, surprising the visitor. “Yes?” Danny said sharply, as clear annoyance dripped from his words.

“Daniel, you seemed to of had a good day.” That voice, was the last thing Danny needed right now. Slowly looking up he scanned over an expensive black suit toward the face of the unwanted guest, only to reveal… Vlad Masters.

He rather a G.I.W agent to have arrived.. But as implied, today it was just not his day.

“What do you want?” The teen rushed wanting Vlad to exit the premises as soon as possible, “Ah, Daniel, I just wanted to stop by. See how you and Jasmine have been holding up.. As well as your mother..” He mumbled the last part, though it didn’t go past Danny.

Anger and Amusement. The waves of emotion informed.

“Yeah, yeah.” The teen began to make a shooing motion towards the billionaire, only to receive a fake ‘hurt’ look.

Now just Amusement. The air read.

“Daniel.” The elder Halfa scolded, “That’s no way to treat a guest, and if you don’t mind me asking..” He continued with slight hesitation..

The rippling of emotions twisted into something strange..

The billionaire dusting off invisible dirt out of nervousness said awkwardly, “Are you okay-..? You have been acting odd.” That was it?

He was… Sincere? The aurora told Danny.

Raising a brow feeling the need to gawk, the boy mentally shook his head, “I’m fine..” his expression softened into that of a sad one as he averted his eyes, maybe Vlad wasn’t going to be an overbearing fruitloop today. He hoped.

“If I let you in..” Danny looked back up at the billionaire, “-you promise to not of been making any plans that involves you being here?” The teen said with vague suspicion as it then replaced the depressing look.

“I promise my boy.” Vlad said readjusting his slightly relaxed posture, though his hand fretted to straighten out his tie to show his hesitation and nervousness.

This time the aurora read..

Bullshit.

Although, Danny felt it didn’t matter now. And let him inside.

A/N: Oh Danny, you can’t trust a Frootloop!

Fanfiction - A Lifetime of Her (Part II)

Part II – “In slow motion the blast is beautiful”

Twenty

I watched as people walked in the gardens outside the hospital, struggling to distance myself from the acute sound that seemed to be permanently whistling inside my ears. It was the sound of immediately before – the universe’s cry of warning that catastrophe was imminent. I found myself trapped in that moment, long after the physical pain was gone – after weeks in the intensive care unit, I was finally starting the skin grafts on my back –, paralyzed in a life-changing moment. Doomed to stand in the frontier of what I had been and what the blast had made me become.

A couple was strolling nearby, the woman holding the bundle of their newborn baby, the man enraptured, dutifully keeping watch over a couple of celebratory balloons, announcing a perfect boy in impeccable blue.

I had seen myself in that life, before. My hand entwined with a faceless woman – her eyes mysteriously the colour of strong whiskey, enough to inebriate me with its fumes -, mindlessly walking towards a shared house, a shared life. I couldn’t fathom such a thing now – the explosion, caused by a gas leak at my apartment building at the university, had tarnish skin and dreams alike.

The breeze kept everyone outside mercifully comfortable, under an otherwise hot sun. It was only the second time I had ventured to go outside, wearing the notorious grey pajamas from the hospital, which marked me as belonging somewhere else other than sitting on a bench under the leafy tree.

The sense of disconnection from everything around me was crushing – I felt like I was standing inside a glassed cage, looking at people with normal lives, unable to find an escape to join them. Jenny and Ian visited me daily, trying their best to cheer me up and to bring me back to myself – I had no heart to tell them that only dust and fragments had remained from that man. I was alive, thankfully – but had no notion of what to do with that surprising gift.

“May I sit down?” A woman asked me. I nodded, not bothering to look at her – instead I curled more into my robe, making myself invisible, biting my bottom lip to avoid moaning with pain from the stretching skin. Breathing, moving, walking – everything came with a renewed cost, as if to remind me that my survival still demanded sacrifice.

She sat on the other end of the bench. I saw her blue sneaker dangling spiritedly on the periphery of my vision, as my nostrils were filled with the smell of rosemary and lemon.

“Excuse me.” The voice next to me said, somewhat timidly. “I could swear I know you, but can’t really figure out from where…”

I tilted my head and looked straight into the sun.

Her eyes were the exact same shade as ten years before – I would recognize them anywhere, even if I couldn’t recognize her brown curls or her tentative smile. My jaw dropped an inch, as I stared flabbergasted at the girl from the graveyard.

“You!” I babbled, nervously fumbling with the catheter, skilfully taped to my forearm by a kind nurse. “Ah – yes!” I tried to recover seeing her confused look, silently kicking myself for blurting. “We have met once – many years ago.”

“You’re the boy from the cemetery.” She said slowly, her hawk eyes studying my face. She had an adorable wrinkle of concentration between her brows. “Ellen’s son!”

“Aye.” I smiled, shyly. “I dinna think ye’d remember that.”

“Of course I do.” She nodded, offering me a kind smile. “I always pay my respects to Ellen, whenever I visit my parents.”

I couldn’t answer – my throat suddenly thick with emotion, as words and feelings nestled like a snake around my vocal chords. That she remembered her act of kindness as vividly as I did – and that she had kept watch over my mother – deeply moved me. I gave her a – I hope – grateful nod and looked away, composing the emotions that ran wild, raw and untamed, after the accident.

“Are you a patient here?” She asked. I raised my eyes to look at her again and noticed she was wearing a white uniform, akin to the nurses I was used to see, with an identification card that read “C. Beauchamp. Trainee.

“Aye.” I swallowed hard, attempting at nonchalance. “I have the pleasure of being a guest of the Burn Unit.”

“Ah.” Her eyes softened – it marvelled me how they changed so significantly, reflecting her states of mind. I was prepared to see the pity that always followed such a statement – but it never came. Her face was a mirror of sympathy and concern – but she wasn’t about to treat me as an invalid. “Good thing you’re able to come outside, then. Such a splendid day, today! I had been dreaming all morning of eating my sandwich outside.”

“Do ye work here?” I questioned, watching as she unwrapped and bit her sandwich – egg and tomato on rye bread – with a satisfaction that made my own mouth water.

“Nurse in training.” She explained, closing her eyes in delight for the utter brilliance of her simple pan. “Actually it’s my last day here.”

“I wish I could say the same.” I gave her a lopsided smile and she laughed – a bit too loud and carefree, like a delighted child. For a moment I forgot where I was and why I sat so uptight – she made me forget things. She made me remember others too – transparent things, important things, that could carve the exit from my self-imposed prison.

“The food isn’t that bad.” She joked, offering me some salt and vinegar chips that she had started to munch. Her eyes searched the plastic bracelet on my arm, easily reading my name there. “Jamie.”

“Hmmm.” I smiled, conceding at the personal treatment. “I’m afraid I miss my morning parritch…” I looked at her expectantly, waiting for her to reveal her identity in return.

Claire.” She laughed, playfully saluting me with her joined fingers like a soldier. “Nice to meet you. Again.”

We stayed in amiable silence, as she completed her picnic-style lunch and I continued to study the world around me, through the eyes of a dead-man walking. But the trees where suddenly greener again and the distant voices seemed to speak to me, teasing me but finally within my reach.

“Thank ye,” I said slowly, tapping my fingers on my leg – much thinner than usual, muscles having been consumed in the furnace of my recovery. “For not asking - about what happened.”

Claire glanced at me – I saw again the same wise-beyond-her-years look, the soul that knew pain and how to heal it, which had held me together ten years before. “I didn’t think it mattered.”

I raised my brows, surprised. “It’s all everyone wants to talk about.”

“You can tell me, if you want to.” She licked her lips for crumbs and smiled, tilting her chin to expose her face to the sun. She resembled a lazy cat, stretching under the warmth, gathering enough energy to wreak havoc afterwards. “But I know you’re here and whole and that’s enough for me.”

“Is it?” I whispered, smiling beyond myself.

“Yes.” Claire threw me an evaluating glare, like she could read into my soul and was ready to challenge the defeatist thoughts that resided there. “Is it enough for you?”

“It hasn’t been…” I admitted, brushing my unusually short hair – another thing lost during the first days in hospital care. “But perhaps I’m beginning to see things differently.”

“I’m glad.” She smiled tenderly – and she seemed truly content. For the first time in weeks I noticed my heart galloping inside my chest, strong and lively, as able to be moved and broken as ever before.

“Jamie!” Jenny waved at me from the door, calling me to get back to my room – it was time for another dose of intravenous antibiotics and physical therapy. I raised my hand in response and slowly got up – whimpering and trembling a little, to my mortification. Claire’s hand quickly came to help stabilize me, holding my chest, as if she had guessed that my back was the source of all pain.

“Ye should be a doctor.” The words burst from my mouth, sounding strangely calm and confident. “Ye’ll be a wonderful nurse – but ye could be a brilliant doctor.”

She looked surprised – an image that suited her, for it was screamed from every trembling muscle, flutter of lashes and promise of smile in the corners of her mouth. Claire’s face spoke of truth as mine spoke of loss and of gratitude to her.

I waved in short goodbye and walked away slowly, holding my crutch for support.

When the physical therapist pressed me to give more, I gritted my teeth and did it, even if cursing every generation before him inside my head. When the nurses applauded the results of the healing grafts, I allowed myself to share the happiness, instead of focusing on everything still left to be done. When the quiet night came, I closed my eyes and dared to plan a life to come.

Claire Beauchamp. The woman who seemed to appear when my need was greatest. I wished I could talk to her and tell her that I had been scared – of living and failing to be enough – but she had healed me, like new and joyous blood cast into my veins. Unfortunately, I had only her name – no phone or address I could use to contact her.

The next time I saw her, she was wearing a black dress, in the middle of a night with no stars.

anonymous asked:

Glad I could do somethin'. ☺️☺️ Hope you've been having a good day, and wanted to ask what your favorite headcanons regarding Washington and Mulligan were. (Either together or separately, your pick. And feel free to go as in depth as ya want 🙃) lots of emojis today, pretty odd. Ah well. 💙 SMORCH

:0 oh !! thank u ! and ye, here’s some of my favorite hcs for the best boys,,,,


hercules mulligan

  • he’s on the autism spectrum! you’ll often find him making the “brrah” noise under his breath,, he’s stimming
    • his special interest is color theory!! and he loves being asked and he’s more than delighted to tell !! he kind of likes being considered The Expert™
    • (john asks him about color theory often and this makes hercules really excited! john also takes notes while herc is explaining)
    • he has a lot of recipes for slime / floam !
  • he’s taller than laf by one (1) inch and he loves making jokes about it 
    • (”laf probably couldn’t reach this but i sure can”)
  • he likes being creative, be it knitting or doodling or sewing or cooking,, he just really enjoys making stuff with his hands! makes him happy !
  • he doesn’t remember much of his childhood, save for the fact that he immigrated over from ireland when he was really lil,, that’s practically his only memory before the age of eleven
  • herc’s a really positive person!!
    • if he thinks you’re feeling down, he has a knack for knowing just what to say to help you feel better!!
    • he has the most blessed laugh Ever
  • he likes to go to the gym!
  • often comes off as more boastful or cocky, but it’s honestly him being genuinely proud of something he’s done!! he just likes to share,, hercules has done lots of things that he’s got every right to be proud of, and he knows it !
  • he likes to take aesthetic pictures of himself !!

george washington

  • if you call him cute he might actually pass out (wosh.exe has stopped responding)
    • despite the amount of compliments he gets, he’s surprisingly self-conscious / insecure about,, practically everything involving him
      • (he never vocalizes this and you’d only know if you’re good at reading his body language)
      • (he internalizes a lot of stuff)
    • he doesn’t know quite how to react other than just kinda clearing his throat and saying thank you (but he appreciates this v much)
  • he actually smiles more than you’d think he would ! he tries to maintain a certain composure (especially during the war) but he sometimes can’t help himself!!
  • sticks out his tongue when concentrating (don’t comment on this he gets embarrassed and he never really realizes that he still does it,,,)
  • likes to give christmas gifts to everyone he works with!
  • due to his upbringing, he’s quite harsh with himself when he shows any emotions he may perceive as “weak”. he’s learning more every day, though, and while it’s likely there’s always going to be a little voice that chastises him if he ever cries, he’s getting better at telling it to stay quiet,,
  • he likes boxing!
  • sometimes he draws, and he’s honestly better than you’d expect!! he has a super cute drawing style,,
RFA+V+SAERAN: If they’re a doodler or a writer

Spoilers: Maybe slight NSFW-ish mention? Again (and most likely always), name reveal! Also, some after story spoilers!

A/N: Omg I left for the night and came back to people actually following our blog, I dunno where y'all came from but i loVE YOU ALL, THANK ~Admin 404


*YOOSUNG:

           -DOODLER

           -IT’S EVERYWHERE

           -His homework? DOODLES! School book? DOODLES! Letter that MC is making him write to his mother? DOODLES!

           -He’ll doodle his LOLOL character, him and MC, or just some random cute animal faces!

           -You know, every single piece of paper he’s ever come across has a star on it somewhere

           -His signature has a star incorporated into it!

           -Takes this habit with him when he graduates and gets a job as a vet

           -“Yoosung, you can’t keep drawing dogs on the patients charts.” “Why not! I work with animals all day!! It works out!” “This chart’s for a bird, not a dog”


*ZEN:

           -Writer!

           -He works with stories all the time as an actor! It’s only natural to want to make a few of his own!

           -Despite dropping out of school and all, he isn’t half bad

           - Never finished writing an actual story in his life

           -He’s the type to start a story, but lose interest in it fairly quickly

           -You’ll find all the stories and vague ideas written nicely in a notebook or two

           -“ONCE UPON A TIME-” “Zen, please, that line’s so overused.” “But princess :(”

           -Even tries to write his own play a few different times!

           - No, Zen, you can’t play every character


*JAEHEE:

           -As much as she loves Zen’s plays and good literature…

           -DOODLER! (bitch you thoUGHT)

           -She’s always having to rewrite reports for Jumin because she mindlessly doodles all over them when she’s trying to think

           -Another boring presentation done by Jumin, another dozen reports have doodles on them

           -She’ll doodle simple things, like coffee cups, flowers, that water bottle in front of her…

           -She’d rather be dead than doodle little kitties though (Damn Elizabeth)

           -Never keeps the doodles though, so if you see one, you’re very lucky

           -It’s probably when you decide to help her with her ridiculous work load every now and then and organize her papers for her


*JUMIN:

           -Writer!

           -He reads enough romance novels, might as well write his own, too

           -“He trapped her against the wall, carefully tying the silk tie around her wrists as his tongue paid careful attention to her-” “JUMIN PLEASE CAN YOU NOT READ WHAT YOU WRITE OUT LOUD?!”

           -He puts work before his writing though, so he makes sure everything is done before switching gears to write

           -Sometimes he’s in his home office for hours, and you assume he’s just working very hard for an upcoming project

           -You make him some tea, and come in to find he’s typing away on his laptop like no tomorrow

           -“Oh wow, you’re working really hard! What is the project on this ti- Jumin, that’s not work” “Ah, yes, MC, I’m very aware. Would you like to proofread it? Or perhaps reenact the scene?”

           -YOU’RE LEFT AS A BLUSHING MESS, GOOD LUCK GETTING OUT OF REENACTING THE SCENE NOW


*SAEYOUNG:

           -He’s writing code all day long, why would he want to write MORE?

           -Therefore, DOODLER!

           -You can find pages and post-it notes all around the house with doodles on them

           -Doodles stars, space ships, and kitties!

           -You found a dickbutt on the milk carton once and threatened to throw it at him and all he did was snicker in response

           -“Saeyoung, care to explain why I walked around today with a sticky note with a diCK DRAWN ON IT STUCK TO MY JACKET?” “I was letting people know that your jacket was riDICKulous!” “Get away from me”

           -One time, you gathered all of his doodles of stars and spaceships, and spent the day sticking them all over the ceiling of your shared bedroom

           -He didn’t notice until he came in way after you had fallen asleep waiting for him

           -You know this lil tomato shed a few happy tears once he saw that you had spelt “I love you” in the stars


*V:

           -Writer!!!

           -Hello, “a picture is worth a thousand words”????

           -He likes to write little stories for each one of his photographs

           -Usually, he makes a story out of the events that happened on that day

           -Rreeaallllyy good at description words, and can paint a picture in your mind of how everything looked, felt, sounded, he had it ALL

           -If you request it, he’ll take a favourite photograph of yours and make up a story for it on the spot

           -“V, can you add dinosaurs into the story?” “If that’s what you want, sure sweetheart” (help me this is my sunshine)

           -If you’re having a bad day, he’ll pull out some of the stories and help you relive a happy moment with him

           -Sometimes he makes it into a game- He’ll read the description and you have to guess what the picture is of!


*SAERAN:

           -Okay, this little baby has to be a doodler

           -He’s not very good at expressing his emotions with words, so he finds that doodling helps him to get it out

           -Like Saeyoung, you’ll find doodles in random places, but you’ll realize that from time to time, it’s a game of hide and seek

           -He’ll leave these doodles as clues to where he is, or what he wants

           -Sometimes he’ll just stick a post-it note on your forehead with a face on it to show how he’s feeling

           -Most of the time he just likes to stick the post-it notes on your face to watch you pout at him afterwards

           -A lot of doodles of ice cream cones

           -*Dumps a purse-full of post-it’s with ice creams drawn on them onto the floor* “Saeran?” “Hm?” “Do you….do you want to go get ice cream?” “Well since you’re offering, yes, yes I do.”

Out of the Frying Pan (18/?)

She’d come back.

And invited him to Henry’s soccer game.

The kid had nearly hit his head on the crossbar, he jumped so high when Killian walked in with Emma, taking up position on the sidelines and cheering when Henry made a handful of particularly impressive first-half saves.

He did it again – diving to his left and coming up with the ball in his hands and a smile on his face and Killian felt Emma exhale against him, forehead pressed into his shoulder. “He didn’t break any bones did he?” she asked.

“No, love,” Killian answered, arm tightening out of instinct. “That’s his fifth save, you know.”

AN: @laurnorder is the BEST. Like. The BEST. She read so many of my words, it is vaguely absurd. 

Hanging out on Ao3 and tag’ed up on Tumblr

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BTS introducing themselves on Sukkiri in Japan 170510

Namjoon : Good Morning everyone. I can’t sing, which is bit painful (makes a rhyme in Jap.) I’m Rap Monster. *Hosts impressed af*

Seokjin : Good Morning everyone. I’m the face(visual) of BTS, Jin. *blows a kiss*

Yoongi : *smol smile* Good morning everyone. I’m the genius Suga.

Hoseok : Good Morning everyone!! I’m your refreshing hope, hope hope J-hope!

Jimin : Good Morning everyone.. I’m Jimin with a charming smile~ *Hosts adoring shy mochi*

Taehyung : Yes, Tuesday.. Ah no.. Good Morning everyone, Tuesday is a big day but today is Wednesday. I’m V. *Hosts amused*

Jungkook : Hello I’m Jungkook the maknae.

Hosts : That’s it? You don’t want to mention something special about yourself?

Jungkook : *Bunny Smile*

Hosts : SUCH A CUTE BOY!!!

10

Your Most Beautiful Moment in Life pt.2: Ch2
(Non-idol!AU) It’s summer when you and Jungkook meet, and immediately decide that you didn’t like each other. Jungkook proposes working together, but you have your misgivings about the prince from Seoul.

Prol. | 1 | 2 | [x]



“Saren, Y/N, your friends are here!” your mom calls from the front door of the house.

“Good morning,” Jungkook bows politely at both your mom and grandma. “I’m Jungkook–Saren-noona’s friend from Seoul.”

“You’ve come to help my girls, haven’t you?” your grandma nods. “Y/N, you’re friends with the only handsome young men in town. Why haven’t you gotten yourself a boyfriend yet?”

“Grandma!!” you cry, mortified. Jungkook has the decency to duck to hide his laughter, but Hyuk cackles right at your face. You stomp to the cozy living room. “You should ask unnie that, she’s older!”

Saren looks up from arranging the huge plastic bags filled with kid’s cereals and snacks and crinkles her nose at you. “Please leave me out of that conversation.” You stick out your tongue in response.

“All noona has to do is say the word and she has one.” Hyuk grins down at her. “Noona, Bin-hyung’s sad that you told him to stay in the hotel.”

“Because that’s his actual job. Not an ice cream man, a tutor, a janitor, or an errand boy.” She hauls up a bag with both hands, but he snatches it from her with one hand and easily lifts another one. Before she can pick up another bag, you grab it and Jungkook takes the remaining bag. Bowing goodbye to mom and grandma, the four of you trek to the orphanage.

“You know noona, Bin-hyung would much rather be an ice cream man, a tutor, a janitor, or an errand boy for the children–for you–than be a hotelier.” He winks at her. “Why don’t you just hire him then I can launch a hostile takeover and become the official owner of the resort?”

She gives him a wry look. “The orphanage can’t afford his salary, you know.”

“Who said anything about paying him a salary? Being with you would be payment enough for him.”

She mock-shudders. “It’s much too warm for this sort of greasiness.”

Trailing behind them, you pout. Isn’t Hyuk-oppa being too attentive? You take a deep breath, trying to calm your jealousy. The bag’s starting to feel heavy in your hands, no matter how much you shift it.

Suddenly the weight’s gone, and you blink at Jungkook, who’s now carrying a bag in each hand. You grab for your bag, but he swings it out of reach.

“If you’re so jealous of Hyuk-hyung paying so much attention to noona, you should just help me get her and my hyung together.” He waggles his eyebrows conspiratorially. “Then he’ll have no reason to hang around her.”

You open your mouth to deny your feelings, but with his confident smirk, you know he won’t buy it. Instead, you smile sweetly and say: “Why would I do that, when I can help him get her and Hongbin-oppa together, and have him be eternally grateful to me?”

He heaves a dramatic sigh. “Why can’t you just be agreeable for once?”

“Your reactions are too cute.” You shrug, not even realizing what you said, until he swivels his head to gawk at you with round bunny eyes.

“We’re here!” you declare a little too loudly in hopes that he won’t pursue the earlier topic.

There’s a pink bouquet on the orphanage porch, as always. Saren stares at it, until you prompt her: “Unnie, your secret admirer left you flowers again.”

“Secret admirer?” Jungkook mouths.

“We all know it’s Hongbin-oppa.” you mouth back.

Saren gathers the bouquet and hurries inside the house. As soon as you follow her through the door, the mustiness of the dilapidated structure fills your nose. Despite how sunny the day is, the front room’s dim–the huge glass windows are cloudy with age and the lights have been switched off to save on the bill.

“It’s not in good shape,” Jungkook observes, as he and Hyuk set the bags on a rickety table that creaked under the weight.

“To be honest it’s a miracle–the miracle being Hongbin-oppa’s donations–that it’s running at all.” you admit.

The two of you watch Saren place the flowers, now in a mason jar as a makeshift vase, on a corner table, in an attempt to brighten up the place.

“Now that’s done, why don’t we eat barbecue?”Jungkook suggests. “You can eat for free today.”

Your ears twitch at the offer. Hyuk claps. “Yes. Let’s. Hyung and I ate there the other day, and it’s very good.”

Yet Saren immediately heads for a side door. “Ah, kids, I’m really busy, I still have to give the children their snacks, then tutor them, then… do other stuff, so you all should go ahead.”

“We can help, then we can all eat together,” Jungkook says.

“Yeah, unnie,” you agree, never one to say no to a free meal.

“Not today, Y/N, umm–I started a diet, so… bye for now!” Before any of you can stop her, she runs down the corridor.

Jungkook sulks after her. Hyuk cocks an eyebrow at him. “Just so we’re clear, we’re still eating, right?”

“Fine,” Jungkook mutters.

You almost feel sorry for him, especially with how cute he looks with his bottom lip pushed out, but you can’t tell him that. Of course.

Storybook Romance

Requested by Anon

Summary: “A stranger comes to Camelot from a far away place, and Merlin falls head over heels for her. She’s pretty and silly and clumsy and awkward and loves books and never seems to stop smiling. She’s basically the Girl version of Merlin. Merlin can’t help but to smile like a fool whenever she delivers books to the physician’s quarters.”

Warnings: Fluffy fluff and suspicious parental unit Gaius

A/N: This is a super cute trope. Also, this isn’t exactly like the request that was sent in, but I combined some elements of this request in one of my upcoming fic requests. Thanks for requesting, Anon!

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me: thanks for calling **** Hospital XYZ Nursing Line how can i help you

man: hi yes m’am i need blah blah blah and hows ur god today 

me: *literally does not compute religion* he’s uh, he’s good sir

man: do u know God loves you?? how do you know he loves you? give me a reason you know every day God loves you

me: uhhhh i wake up healthy everyday, sir

man: ah yes, very good very good and you know Jesus is God too you know and do you know what Jesus did for us??

me: *SIGHS LOUDLY* he saved us, sir

man: yes, yes he did. alright now you take care maybe i’ll die and not need your services. maybe i’ll go to heaven and wouldn’t that just be better??? okay thank you goodbye

me: 

me: wut


why don’t i tell these people i worship Satan or something 

Slam the Door

remember that 1am timkon au think i mentioned? this went from brief HC burble to first chapter real damn fast. 

leaving this rough for now, if i pick it up and continue i’ll pretty it up but have as-is.

premise: 

Tim Drake has no heroes.

Tim Drake never became Robin. Instead, he was abducted with his parents in Haiti, and the only survivor – struggling years later with the trauma to both his mind and body. And he really, really doesn’t want to even think about university.

He gets a letter of interest from LexCorp to join their pilot employee training program. He goes for it, gets in, and it’s the best thing to happen to him–

–until the universe, of course, comes crashing down on him again when he stumbles across Project Kr.

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Love Tranquilizer ~キミだけが知っている~ Pt.1 松澤 佐 (Love Tranquilizer ~Only you know~ Pt.1 Matsuzawa Sasaki)

2015 is coming!!! Everyone, Happy New Year in advance first! :D

THIS! was a long translation which took me 2 times longer to finish up compared to the others i have done before. I thought Otona no Renai was horrible but this was much worse… D:

i was fighting mentally on whether i should continue this since it was LONG and the speed of talking was D: not the usual pace that i was used to…. So anyway…. off to the drama cd!

Warning: This consist of R-18 scenes (you know the drill~ :D)

Also, this is not 100% translation. If there’s any mistake, please point it out to me. :) Enjoy!

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the signs sleep-deprived
  • aries: "i swear to god if one more person has the nerve to look at me one more time..,., oNE MORE TIME.,.,,..,.., SHIT IS ABOUT TO GO DOWN"
  • taurus: "ah yes how i love to Suffer"
  • gemini: never sleeps anyways so what's the point
  • cancer: "today is a good day to eject myself into the sun! :)"
  • leo: hisses at people that make eye contact with them
  • virgo: runs on 2.7382 hours of sleep a night anyways and has developed an immunity to sleepiness
  • libra: doesn't care when it is, where they are, who they're with; they will pass out on the spot and not even the force of god could wake them up
  • scorpio: "fuck you, fuck this, fuck that, fuck her, fuck him, fuck them, fuck it, fuck EVERYTHING"
  • sagittarius: throws shit and pushes people that manage to get in their "way" and wreaks havoc upon those who cross them
  • capricorn: "i'll pay you big money if you murder me here right now immediately"
  • aquarius: sleep is but a Concept™ for the Weak™
  • pisces: they're really only ever half awake anyways so what's the point
Steven Universe Imagine

I wanted to do something different from the normal. I was sick of not writing. I hope you like this, I originally had the plot twist at the end idea but shortly realized i’d have to write the entire story before the plot twist. whatever. A part two is possible but only if people really want it. i’ll shut up now. 

Words: 1600+

Warnings: None

Ship: None


You awoke to a pounding on your door, you stood up, rubbing your eyes and looked through the peekhole, only the colors black and red shown through, you yawned and opened the door. Standing tall was the one and only Garnet. 

“Good to see you again Garnet! What’s up?” You said, smiling, rubbing sleep out of your eye. 

“The gems and I need to go somewhere for a couple of days, we need you to watch Steven, it’s too dangerous for him to go.” She said, monotonous as always.

“Yeah, absolutely. No problem, when are you le-" 

"Tonight”

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SH: -And then those idiots could not grasp the concept of pointed toes! Pointed toes, John! It’s Elementary! Fundamentals! And if Anderson misses his cue one more time I swear I will-

JW: -Okay okay okay, Sherlock! *chuckles* I think I get it. You had a great time at practice today.

SH: Did you not hear me, John? It was very much the opposite of th-

JW: Sarcasm, Sherlock.

SH: ..Hm. Yes.

JW: ….Sooo, because you asked me so kindly-

SH: I didn’t ask you about anythi-

JW: -my day went pretty well. Practice was grueling, but Greg got tackled so hard I’m pretty sure he did a full flip, so that made the whole day a lot better.

SH: …..

JW: …..

SH: …..

JW: ….Lestrade.

SH: Ah. Yes.

JW: …Anyway, I left practice in a good mood. On my way to come pick you up, I, uh, stepped into a little shop and…got you something.

SH: *stares*

JW: *sweats*

SH: …your incessant shuffling and constant attempts of distracting me so I won’t look behind your back - which is a quite childish way to hide things, John - gave that away yet the object is not visible at any point therefore it must not be of significant size nor weight seeing as it has not effected the weight distribution in your steps the tread patterns in your shoes and dirt residue can only be located in-

JW: -STOP.

SH: ….*closes mouth*

JW: Stop deducing. *pinches bridge of nose* *sighs* Can’t I just surprise you once?

SH: You always surprise me, John. That’s why I enjoy your presence so much over the other idiots at our school.

JW: …Oh. Er, cheers then…Um, anyway, here. *takes out stuffed bee*

SH: 

JW: I know you hate stuffed animals and basically anything enjoyable, but I just walked past it and thought of you. Plus, I’ve seen all of those bee books you tuck in between your crimonology and chemistry textbooks. 

SH:

JW: 

SH: 

JW: …*sweats*…Are…you okay?

SH: ….*blinks rapidly*

JW: ….Okay, I mean if you don’t like it you don’t have t-

SH: …I-I love it, John….Thank you.

JW: …*smiles*….You’re welcome, Sherlock.