[okay listen this fake ah crew jeremwood fic has become the self-indulgent cliched tropey silly fun fic of my dreams here look]
Despite how well everything’s been going so far—for a given value of well, if well involves tripping over Jeremy’s polished shoes every fifteen seconds as they search the back rooms, or earlier during the gala when Ryan got startled and in a terrifying moment of blind reflex nearly embedded an hors d'oeuvre utensil into the throat of a poor, awkward, terrified bureaucrat like some kind of horrifying impromptu tracheotomy—
Despite that, Ryan is beginning to think that their luck may have run out.
“Jeremy,” he says, muscles coiled tight like he’s ready to run or fight or—or stay still, apparently, which is what he’s currently doing, because Jeremy won’t step away from the computer where the drive is flashing as it gradually copies and stores the information.
“It just needs another minute.”
“We don’t have a minute,” Ryan says. He presses an ear against the door and shuts his eyes, tense, waiting, mapping out a dozen escape routes in his head. “We have maybe thirty seconds. Does that work?”
“Look, the thing—it says it needs fifty-three seconds, okay, do you want me to argue with the computer?”
“Well, yeah, that’s what Gavin does!”
“He—okay, wait, no? He definitely doesn’t just argue with the computer, what the hell, what exactly do you think Gavin does when he’s—” Jeremy cuts himself off, goes still and quiet when heavy footsteps start approaching from down the hall.
“Alright,” Ryan murmurs, shifting to move into a better position to intercept the guy when he comes through the door. “I’ll try to take him down quietly and maybe we won’t, uh, no, what are you doing,” he says, bewildered, when Jeremy vaults himself over the desk neatly and starts moving in Ryan’s direction.
“I saw this in a movie once,” Jeremy says seriously, and then he’s grabbing Ryan by the lapels of his ill-fitting suit and hauling him down to kiss him.
Fully. On the mouth. With tongue. It’s a little dirty.
Ryan wants to say he plays it cool.