agree to deal

so someone has leaked information about trump’s phone call with mexico’s president last week, and it’s equal parts terrifying and embarrassing

mr. pissboy in charge reportedly told the mexican president “i don’t need the mexicans. i don’t need mexico,” and “we are going to build the wall and you all are going to pay for it, like it or not”. which is bad enough, but then trump really outshitted himself by suggesting that unless mexico were able to combat drug trafficking, he would send US troops to take care of it

if this is true, the american president literally just threatened to invade an allied country. let that fucking sink in for a while

washingtonpost.com
U.S. women’s soccer wins higher pay, improved support with five-year labor deal
The U.S. women’s soccer players’ union and the sport’s governing body have agreed to a five-year collective bargaining agreement, improving standards for the national team and pro league and ensuring labor harmony through the next World Cup and Olympics.
By https://www.facebook.com/SoccerInsider

“In a joint statement, the U.S. Women’s National Team Players Association and U.S. Soccer Federation said they have “ratified a new collective bargaining agreement which will continue to build the women’s program in the U.S., grow the game of soccer worldwide and improve the professional lives of players on and off the field. We are proud of the hard work and commitment to thoughtful dialogue reflected through this process, and look forward to strengthening our partnership moving forward.”

In recent years, the players have raised issues about compensation and working conditions compared to their male counterparts, casting a shadow over the efforts of the most successful women’s team in soccer history and pitting the federation against wildly popular athletes, such as Carli Lloyd and Alex Morgan.

In March 2016, the players  filed a federal complaint with the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission, charging the USSF with wage discrimination. The case remains active.

Financial specifics were not immediately available, but people with knowledge of the pact said it includes:

  • Increase in direct compensation
  • Increase in bonus compensation
  • Enhanced benefits related to travel and hotels
  • Per diem equal to the U.S. men’s team
  • Greater financial support for players who are pregnant
  • Financial support for players adopting a child

Also, in a key gain, the players’ association will now control group likeness rights for licensing and nonexclusive rights in sponsorship categories where USSF does not have an agreement.”  

Read the full piece here

GOOOOAAAAAALLLLLLL!!!!!

See the full gifset here

More posts on women’s soccer

Solo: A Memoir of Hope, by Hope Solo

When Nobody Was Watching: My Hard-Fought Journey to the Top of the Soccer World by Carli LLoyd

The audiobooks for Solo: A Memoir of Hope and When Nobody Was Watching: My Hard-Fought Journey to the Top of the Soccer World are both available as free downloads via an Audible.com promotion! More info on the promotion, plus a huge list of available feminist books here.

Tfw when u been in classes for 6 hours and u finally escape and put your headphones on and let the musical relief flow over u reblog if u agree

On the Devil himself

Hey I’m in a rare mood bc I just thought on this for a long time now and I love the Devil a ton even if I don’t draw him as much. So just take this with a grain of salt, and hear my HCs and portrayal of him out:

Anyways, I’ve recieved asks about what I see Cuphead and Mugman as and I’m gonna say they have always been adults to me - they drink alcohol and gamble. If they had an age I’d say 20 to 22, legal but young and foolish enough to get into trouble (of course, if you see them as kids then yeah that’s great too, even if that’s not my views)

So here’s the thing: The Devil was just doing his job?

Like sure he’s Satan and the villain of the game, but Cuphead and Mugman choose to challenge him themselves. The devil didn’t taunt them nor trick them into this - no, Cuphead got too greedy and went ahead anyways, and gambled his soul away

And I’m pretty sure the rest of the bosses in game chose to find the devil to make a deal with him using their own soul. They did it via a conscious choice. All the devil did was to accept it bc hey!!! It’s a soul so why wouldn’t he?

He’s a business man first and foremost and the ruler of hell and the casino. Honestly, I see him being a pretty fair boss to his employees - like he’s Satan, not a heartless Monster, thank you very much. I feel that you can ask to work at the casino and all you sign is a job contract, not a soul one

Obviously the Devil’s pretty ruthless and cunning bc running a business does need that trait. But anyways, yeah I don’t see him as a 100% villain bc it’s all Cuphead’s and the rest of the contract signer’s fault for being too greedy and made a deal with him in the first place. You are your worst enemy, after all.

And the fact that he’s a crybaby? I adore this. I really do bc it just makes him not a flat character? He’s the scary boss of the entire Casino and he’s got everyone wrapped around his finger, but he’s emotional and not exactly an evil being in regards to contracts and that makes me cherish his character so much.

100 Scurvy Pirate Prompts

Me amigos, ‘tis be ye cap'n @promptguy. Thank ye fer all th’ submissions. I translated some to be more scurvy pirate. 'tis might be th’ best list so far.

  1. “Which lovely booty ye be eyein’? th’ curvy wench’s or th’ shit-barnacles ye can’t spy wit’ ye eye in yon chest?”
  2. “oh me god! th’ boat be leakin’!” “No, that’s just bilge rum”
  3. Scribe 'bout a scurvy pirate that be scared 'o th’ ocean
  4. Ye discover that Prompt Guy be actually th’ Flyin’ Dutchman
  5. A pirate ship encounters sirens who use their song to lure them. th’ band 'o pirates give a go’ to escape but 'tis later revealed that th’ sirens don’t want sink them but join them
  6. 'tis ye first day on ship, 'n ye’re in learnin’. All th’ other members on board be experienced 'n professionals at their ship except 1. That one be ye “trainin’ laddie”… a child Jack Sparrow.
  7. “walk thee fuckin plank ye scallywag”
  8. Ye be th’ cap'n 'o a crew 'o Githyanki band 'o pirates, 'n ye be huntin’ ye quarry in th’ astral plane. th’ problem be, ye quarry consists 'o a ship full 'o illithids, or mind-flayers, who had previously enslaved ye kind wit’ their mental powers
  9. Ye got captured by band 'o pirates. be tellin’ a story on how ye end up becomin’ cap'n fer that scurvy pirate ship. Bonus points if ye scribe a way ye do it that dont murder anyone nor end up wit’ physical harm.
  10. Bin got a pair words fer ye scurvy dogs: “Shark Bait.”
  11. Poseidon, th’ God 'o th’ Sea, has chosen ye as his vessel. He whispers in ye mind, “by sea be th’ only way to travel.” ye embark on a journey, killin’ anybody who dares take an airplane or car.
  12. Ye’ve always thought that havin’ a peg leg’d be cool, but arh, the maintenaince yeh have to do to keep up yer cool appearance!
  13. “ye’re seriously makin’ me swim th’ plank again?!”
  14. A pirate cap'n goes on a mission to reclaim th’ pirate ship that was stolen from him 'n free his crew members from imprisonment
  15. Ye have traveled long 'n far in search 'o an infamous treasure that ye 'n ye crew have be searchin’ fer fer 16 years. Upon discoverin’ it, ye open th’ chest only to find a map leadin’ to another treasure. th’ value 'o friendship.
  16. They shout that treasures best be hidden on land. Yer cap'n be sayin’ they’re all lyin’. Yer cap'n be sayin’ th’ best place to be hidin’ treasure be in th’ heart 'o a storm.
  17. Ye ship be sunk, ye maties abandoned ye, but ye still have th’ gold… 'n spiced rum.
  18. Ye be kidnapped from ye home in th’ dead 'o nightfall 'n brought onto a ship wit’ a crew 'o 100 band 'o pirates. As ye look on in fear, they all bow below before ye. One 'o them introduces themselves as ye First Matey. ye be now their cap'n.
  19. Ye muster onboard a scurvy pirate ship, hopin’ to get some doubloons 'n th’ comradery ye sorely missed in th’ navy. But turns out th’ ship ye ended up on has a secret ye would never have guessed…
  20. A forbidden lust story between a sea cap'n 'n a siren he meets at sea.
  21. Ye’ve always wanted to be a scurvy pirate. ye even got ye chance when a fleet 'o them attacked ye town. th’ problem? ye’re a 'land-lubber’ 'n 'tis isn’t a nice world. ye’ll have to prove ye can handle bein’ a scurvy pirate just to make it out 'o th’ brig
  22. Ye’ve just taken control 'o a merchant ship only to find that th’ entire crew be more scared 'o th’ 4 year barnacle-covered girly offsprin’ 'o th’ wealthy tradesman ye’ve locked away. When she smiles, ye spy wit’ ye eye storms in her eyes - 'n then she laughs…
  23. Ye find a cursed treasure. When a piece 'o gold be spent it disappears. How do ye spend ye loot.
  24. “No women allowed on board!” says th’ cap'n. He finds out, one by one, that every member 'o his crew be a woman wit’ a fake beard.
  25. That scurvy scalawag Blackhearted Benton just stole yer ship wit’ all yer lovely booty! GET IT BACK!
  26. “Stop playin’ yer dratted cello, matey, 'n help me sword fight off Blackbeard!”
  27. Ye be th’ first astronaut to be sent to explore th’ galaxy. Suddenly, ye re stopped by space band 'o pirates, 'n be forced to choose between roamin’ aimlessly forever or joinin’ their crew.
  28. Ye got into th’ piratin’ business fer one reason - so ye can afford a ship in Malibu.
  29. “Remind me; if women be bad luck, why do we have a female cap'n?”
  30. Mermaid band 'o pirates. They find new islands 'n take down their enemies wit’ th’ help 'o sea creatures. Their ship be called “Poseidon”
  31. Band 'o pirates that set out to be villains accidentally return as jolly guys by screwin’ plans up
  32. Ye be a feared scurvy pirate who can control all th’ monsters roamin’ th’ seven seas, however ye worst enemy can control th’ oceans themselves.
  33. tell an entire tale in pirate talk, me hearty…
  34. Ye character just got accepted into MIT 'n be sailin’ towards th’ “scurvy pirate Certificate” (pistols, riflery, rowin’, fencin’.) wee do they be knowin’ that these courses be taught by actual band 'o pirates.
  35. An underground illegal racin’ rig has be started that involves scurvy pirate ships battlin’ though a rum track in a Need fer Speed style wit’ steampower-ups included
  36. Ye awaken on a scurvy pirate ship, last thin’ ye remember before 'tis was shoutin’ to a guy in th’ tavern at port. th’ cap'n had bought ye 'n ye be now sailin’ on th’ ship, what happens while ye be at sea?
  37. “HAND ME THAT MAP OR SO HELP ME I’LL CUT IT OFF YA HANDS!”
  38. You turn on the Pirate Speak in Minecraft under language options as a joke, but then ye start findin’ that yer land lubber mates in reality arrrre beginnin’ ta talk like ol’ sea dogs, and even tha signs ‘round yer town turn inta Pirate Speak. Soon a squaky bird takes to perchin’ on yer shoulder. Tha townsfolk begin ta ask fer yer okay on things o’ trivial matter. Yer first mate, who lost 'is leg years ago ta scurvy, suddenly had a peg 'stead of a prosthetic. Congrats, matey– yer tha cap'n of tha town
  39. “Arrrr! the hour to loot EA 'o their precious Sims lovely booty!!”
  40. 'tis not uncommon fer a scurvy pirate to loose a hand or a foot on his travels. ye 'n ye crew dig up a chest full 'o hands 'n feet.
  41. Ye swore on a loved one’s grave that ye would someday sail to th’ legendary Grand Arcada, an ocean which none have ever found. this day, ye awoke to find ye ship stolen from ye - 'n th’ strange people seem to be changin’ ye course…
  42. A pirate loses his scurvy pirate accent 'n has to go find a different ship because they don’t fit in anymore.
  43. Ye find an ancient treasure map, 'n indeed, under th’ “X” thar’s buried treasure. But what’s under th’ “Y” 'n “Z”?
  44. Ye cap'n has caught a deadly disease, 'n be on th’ verge 'o Davy Jones’ treasure chest. ye 'n ye crew decide to pull one last raid wit’ them. th’ big one.
  45. Th’ band 'o pirates 'n th’ vampires have come to together to stop th’ ultimate evil. How do ye defend yourself?
  46. Cap'n Gus has a secret, his magic beard grows more wild 'n tangled wit’ every wind it ensnares. Cuttin’ a hair causes a mild breeze, a lock 'o his beard unleashes a strong wind. Now, captured 'n condemned to execution, he asks if he could shave
  47. Ye be th’ cap'n 'o th’ most infamous scurvy pirate ship on th’ seven seven seas, ye 'n ye crew have be through pretty much everythin’ together. Currently ye be on th’ hunt fer mer-people, they fetch high prices on th’ black market fer their beauty. What ye crew dont be knowin’ however be that ye be a mer-person 'n ye 'n ye kind only have tails when ye peglegs get wet.ye’re in th’ middle 'o a bath in ye quarters when ye first matey bustles in to speak to ye 'bout th’ ship’s course.
  48. Ye be a notorious scurvy pirate. ye’ve always be able to outrun th’ navy, but 'tis the hour they’re gainin’ on ye. ye agree to make a deal wit’ one 'o th’ lesser captains. What do they shout to ye?
  49. Arr, ye main character be kidnapped by a scurvy pirate at sea! It turns out th’ sea isn’t what it seems to be when he throws ye overboard to die….
  50. Ye cap'n has be noticeably feelin’ down, how does one scurvy pirate cheer up their cap'n back to their jolly self?
  51. What do ye do wit’ a drunken sailer?
  52. Ye’re a pirate who’s totally new to th’ business 'o stealin’ treasure from authoritative figures 'n don’t really be knowin’ what ye’re doin’. Suddenly, a dragon shows up 'n offers to tutor ye in piracy. What next?
  53. “What be land? I have forgotten.”
  54. Ye’re an undercover employee 'o th’ british government onboard a pirate ship on 'tis way to an uncharted island. ye mission be to find out what th’ band 'o pirates be goin’ thar fer.
  55. A pirate wit’ a rubber duck hand instead 'o a rusted hook
  56. Lesbian pirate flirtin’ wit’ sirens
  57. Ye were sent by th’ British government to spy on a notorious cap'n. ye join his crew 'n climb up th’ ranks 'til ye become his first matey. A few days before ye be to betray him, he tells ye a secret that changes everythin’. What be it?
  58. Th’ cap'n has gone missin’ overnight. ye, a mere chef, be th’ only one who can manage to control th’ crew. ye need to find whar ye cap'n has gone to.
  59. She was they best cap'n to sail th’ sea’s. She was Black Beard.
  60. Band 'o pirates be pillagin’ ye village, lookin’ fer somethin’. What they’re lookin’ fer be a wee unorthodox
  61. Th’ year be th’ far future, 'n space travel has be achieved. th’ human race has be denied entry into th’ galactic federations set up hundreds 'o years before their time. So, instead, we become space band 'o pirates. All 'o us.
  62. All ye pirates be sufferin from th’ evil scurvy, no matter how much citrus or undercooked meat they brin’ on th’ poop deck. they shout yer crews favoured wi th’ devil, but wee do they be knowin’ ye’ve just found th’ third cure to th’ scurvy
  63. “fer th’ last the time, don’t be puttin’ me tattered eyepatch in th’ dryer!”
  64. Ye look almost exactly like th’ female version 'o ye twin brother. Unfortunately, ye twin brother just so happens to be th’ notorious cap'n 'o a pirate crew. One day, he be killed, 'n th’ crew asks ye to pretend to be him so as to continue
  65. Th’ mermaid they pulled from th’ ocean turns out to be a jolly fighter. Maybe too jolly. Sh just killed th’ cap'n.
  66. Ye got scurvy. How ya gonna hide it from th’ cap'n?
  67. Ye pirate ship be stuck in 5 O'clock traffic. Somehow.
  68. Ye’re a stowaway on th’ dreaded cap'n LongBeard’s ship, tryin’ to find out whar he hides his treasure. Only problem be, ye’ve gotten caught sneakin’ around below deck.
  69. Ye’re th’ only jolly scurvy pirate in ye crew. ye’ve be tryin’ to keep it a secret, but then ye ship happens to sail past a group 'o sirens…
  70. Ye command one 'o th’ fiercest scurvy pirate ships in th’ seven seas. Just th’ mention 'o ye crew sends fear into th’ hearts 'o men 'n women. th’ only thin’ be, ye’ve never stepped foot on a boat.
  71. Ye’ve be travelin’ th’ seven seas fer a while now. Nothin’ can stand in ye way; ye 'n ye crew be unstoppable. 'til one thin’ crossed ye paths. What be that one thin’ 'n how do ye overcome it?
  72. Ye be th’ toughest scurvy pirate around. ye won many fights, pillaged many towns, 'n plundered dozens 'o ships. nothin’ could stand in ye way to riches, not even- oh god be that a baby on ye ship? who brought a baby?
  73. Ye be sailin’ th’ seven seven seas when yer lovely booty grows peglegs 'n starts swimmin’ off. How do ya catch a swimmin’ treasure hoard?
  74. Ye be a sea cap'n. Suddenly, ye ship lifts into th’ air. ye’re bein’ raided by sky band 'o pirates!
  75. Due to men believin’ eatin’ fruit was too feminine, th’ seven seas be now ruled by female band 'o pirates who beat their weakened males counterparts. Now, ye’re at a parrrty drinkin’ ornge spiced juice wit’ th’ victors.
  76. All ye pirates knows only women be sailors. Can ye think 'o anythin’ more unlucky than to have a scurvy dog onboard a ship? Still, rumour has it that th’ fiercest scurvy pirate ship 'o them all has a only-male crew.
  77. Ye meet Sodomy McScurvyLegs 'n buy a fitness regime. It opens up a whole new seven seas fer ye, an endless sea 'o knowledge… 'bout lovely booty.
  78. Turns out 'tis eyepatch be cursed to ne'er come off! Too bad ye put it on t’ wrong eye!
  79. Yrr secret island has been made into a parking lot and is overrun by scurvy lawyers while you were pirating. How do you fight lawyers? Your treasure is under that asphalt.
  80. Th’ cap'n 'o a magical sailin’ pirate ship takes several orphans under her proverbial win’s as new crew members
  81. “I lost m'hand to a shark, but I lost me eye to…”
  82. A rollickin’ scurvy pirate adventure from th’ point 'o view 'o th’ ship’s sea monster: th’ cat
  83. A classic pirate adventure wit’ a cursed object. Part 'o th’ curse be that th’ scurvy pirate cap'n 'n crew can never leave th’ ship 'n must come up wit’ creative ways to plunder, pillage, 'n eventually break th’ curse.
  84. Cuddle band 'o pirates- th’ fluffiest, snuggliest scurvy pirate crew ye can imagine, inexplicably survivin’ through skill 'n pluck in a grimdark hyper-edgy universe, rebellin’ against th’ grim 'n gritty status quo wit’ unflinchin’ optimism 'n hugs.
  85. “How th’ muck did ye get onto me ship 'n why be ye naked”
  86. “So ye meanin’ to be tellin’ me th’ map, which ye bought off a street vendor at Ivery Island, be an authentic map that leads to a literal buried treasure. scurvy dog, speak 'bout cliche.”
  87. Ye be highly disappointed when ye discover that th’ famous deadly 'Kraken’ be actually just a nutcracker.
  88. Two pirates travel th’ seven seas lookin’ fer lovely booty, but it turns out all they really want be each others lovely booty
  89. Ye finally come home from a year at sea 'n have to explain to ye main wench how ye got syphillis
  90. A scurvy pirate find th’ greatest treasure to be had: an island covered in lovely booty.
  91. Ye’re a pirate explorin’ uncharted waters when suddenly a giant hand made out 'o rum rises out 'o th’ ocean holdin’ a small baby wrapped in seaweed. th’ hand places th’ younglin’ on th’ deck 'o ye ship 'n disappears back into th’ depths. ye now have a child 'n a lot 'o questions.
  92. captains, greedy 'n tough 'n mean. But th’ strange thin’ 'bout him be that he wears a metal mask, 'n no one in th’ crew has ever seen him without it. One nightfall, ye resolve to spy wit’ ye eye th’ cap'n’s real face, so ye sneak into his cabin 'n sneak a peek 'o him sans mask. 'n what ye spy wit’ ye eye makes it clear to ye why ye cap'n would hide his face.
  93. Perhaps givin’ band 'o pirates Google Maps wasn’t th’..best idea
  94. Ye somehow became a pirate cap'n. One problem - ye be knowin’ nothin’ 'bout navigation…or ships…or fightin’ in general. But ye look well in a pirate coat 'n a hat, so thar be that.
  95. Ye’ve be captured by pirates, 'n thrown in th’ brig. th’ cap'n’s trusty parrot flies in, 'n says he can help ye escape.
  96. “Matey, yer lovely booty be th’ only one I be diggin’ fer t'night.”
  97. Ye’ve found pirate treasure by sheer dumb luck, but now th’ ghost 'o th’ lady pirate it belonged to be hauntin’ ye. 'n if that wasn’t that be all you can take, she’s got a crush on ye.
  98. Yer on a boat when suddenely yer First Mate throws 'imself over with no apparent reason. You dive in after him and find a grotto. What’s beyond it?
  99. Ye be that one guy on th’ ship that can swim. Somethin’ has jammed th’ rudder, stoppin’ th’ ship from makin’ it to port.
  100. Pretend ye’re a pirate 'n ye’ve just buried ye treasure. Draw a map 'n scribe below detailed instructions on how to find it again.

What prompt do ye like th’ most? Reblog if ye be a true scurvy pirate.

Oh joy..the “Discourse” (??) about Women in Magic is back...

First of all..this shouldn’t be discourse. It pisses me off.

Second of all, if you have something to say, things like “But everyone deals with the issues,” or “just get over it,” or “don’t be so special snowflake,” or “this isn’t even an issue,” or “feminism doesn’t belong in Magic,” or “but but, I’ve never seen a woman be disrespected!”or “women are actually the problem in Magic,” or “actually men face the same issues as women” or ANYTHING LIKE THAT

Just. Don’t. Freaking. Say. Anything. Keep your mouth shut. 

Seriously, I am not usually this blunt or mean,I try to be nice to everyone, polite and kind I hate being confrontational, but just keep your mouth shut, you’re making yourself look like an idiot and you are the problem

I. Am. Done. Dealing. With. It.

2

“More importantly, why did Andrew agree to extend the deal? Was he still punishing Aaron for siding with their mother, or did he think enough time would make a difference? The latter seemed far-fetched, but Neil was inclined to believe it. When Drake left Andrew a concussed and bloody wreck in Columbia, the only thing that mattered to Andrew, the only person he needed to see, was Aaron. His own trauma was inconsequential; he’d cared about the blood splattered across Aaron’s skin. Andrew and Aaron had done this to each other, and they were locked in stalemate. They were unwilling to reach out and unable to let go.”

Carousel | 04

Playlist | 01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06 | 07 | 08 | 09

➤ Character: Min Yoongi x reader

➤ Genre/words: Angst, Implied/light Smut, Arranged Marriage! AU / 14,964 words

➤ Summary: He is the successor of his family’s business empire, and you are the female heir of yours. After the trouble his older brother had created in the past, he now must face certain requirements needed for the sake of the family’s future and to save his rights of inheritance, and you become his only way out. Everything might seem so simple, just the way they are supposed to. But everything isn’t always what it seems, is it?



Keep reading

Age is but a Number, Love is Infinite

Dean x Reader

Word Count: 2,775

Warnings: age difference(nothing underage the reader is 21), language, implied sexy times

Request: Hey it’s ok if you don’t wanna do this but I was wondering if you could write a fic where Dean is his current age and the one reader just turned 20 but like her and Dean have known each other for a long time and have been together for a while and other people always say stuff about their relationship but they’re still just really happy together, maybe w/ a bit of smut?

A/N: I changed a few things like I said I would but overall I think I got what you wanted!! Shout out to @leatherwhiskeycoffeeplaid for being an awesome beta!! I hope you all like it and feedback is always appreciated!!! :D

Originally posted by frozen-delight

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“People often ask how to present a young, same-sex romance to a young audience without it having to be the same old ‘coming out’ story that’s been done to death. GrimGrimoire shows us that you’d write it the same way as any other young adult romance–emphasis on their feelings for each other without making it about sex or sexuality.”

I recently watched a playthrough of this game again (it’s a pretty short game; gameplay isn’t interesting so you can just watch the cutscenes for the whole story) and yeah it’s got canon F/F between the witch protagonist Lillet Blan and a homunculus named Amoretta Virgine. It’s pretty blatant and not at all played for fanservice.

Notable moments:

Keep reading

Pancakes ; Peter Parker

WARNINGS: nsfw !! au,  quickie sex, enjoy some nice n’ cute sin

summary: a game of ‘who gets turned on first’ with Peter in the avengers tower and obviously we all know who eventually will forfeit the game ;)


Today was a bountiful morning, the Avengers Tower was left all under the watch of Peter and you since Tony and the Captain had a mission to deal with. It was around 7 a.m. and you knew they wouldn’t be back until the late afternoon and since you were the mature one left in the building, you had to act as the adult who had to cook breakfast for Peter and you –because god help you if Peter was going to be the one who cooks for the both of you.

Keep reading

your fave is problematic: thomas jefferson

•fucking dickhead
•did you think this was gonna be a joke? nope
•slaves
•literally had a sex slave
•had multiple children with said sex slave
•unattractive irl
•sexist
•racist
•sure everyone was back then, doesn’t make it better
•dirty politics, seriously this guy paid journalists to dish dirt on washington and adams, literally ran smear campaigns
•yall be up here writing thomas jefferson imagines??? no no sweaty

Morning Surprise (Remus x Reader)

“Hi! I might’ve already sent this in and I’m terribly sorry if I’m repeating my self but could you do one with Remus where you stay the night in his dorm and when you wake up the boys find you and they are all like shook. :,) thank you! I love your writing by the way!!” this made me laugh out loud when I read it! hope you like it!

Saturday’s were usually spent with your boyfriend in the library or by the Black Lake, curled up with a book and content with each other’s company. Today was no ordinary Saturday, it was a Quidditch Saturday, which meant that you and Remus had to postpone your usual activities and go and support James since Gryffindor was playing against Ravenclaw.

“Hurry up, lovebirds!” Sirius exclaimed, a few steps ahead of Remus and you.

You’ve been dating Remus for a year now, and you both kept the PDA to a minimum, the marauders knew that and often teased you both, but little did they know that behind closed doors, Remus and you couldn’t keep your hands off each other.

Remus rolled his eyes at Sirius, sending you an apologetic look.

“Sorry, we don’t take the dog out too often, we think he might get lost…” Remus whispered to you, and you laughed.

Soon you and the rest of the marauders were cheering James on, Gryffindor was winning by a landslide, and somehow Sirius had taken over as commentator half way through the match.

“Ms. Lillian Evans, if the handsome Chaser scores three consecutive goals, you have to go on date with him, it is the law. Dumbledore said so.” Sirius decreed into his enchanted wand, McGonagall stood from her seat and tried to pry the wand from his flailing arms.

“I’m so glad Sirius didn’t meddle with the two of us…” Remus uttered as you nodded in agreement. You witnessed as James scored three consecutive goals and how your roommate Lily was glaring at the boy, you could see that she was trying to fight off a growing smile on her face.

“Well bloody hell, Sirius does seem to have a future in matchmaking.” You said, pointing down at Lily, Remus shook his head in a mixture of disbelief and amusement.

It was no surprise when Gryffindor won, due to that Sirius and James announced that there would be a celebratory party tonight, (they would’ve thrown a part either way).

“What are the chances of us sneaking out of the party without being noticed by those two?” you asked Remus as you reluctantly made your way to the party.

“Just wait until they both had enough Firewhiskey, then we can go to my dorm and relax, there’s this new muggle book my mother sent me, I think you’ll like it.”

“Sounds perfect.” You said pecking his lips as you both joined the party.

It didn’t take long for Sirius and James to finish off a bottle of Firewhiskey, you nudge Remus and he stifled a laugh as he saw how James was drunkenly orchestrating a conga line.

“And that’s our cue to leave, love.” He said, chuckling at his friend’s failed attempts.

He led you up the boy’s dormitories, everyone was having fun so they didn’t see the two of you leaving.

He opened the door to his room which he shared with the rest of the marauders, you were always in awe of the contrast between Remus’s side of the room and the rest of the boys.

“I know what you’re thinking and I agree, they’re pigs.”

“Trewlaney better watch out because you might steal her job, your seeing eye just read my mind.” You joked, he chuckled as he walked towards his drawer, pulling out a jumper and a pair of boxers, handing them to you.

“I don’t think you’ll want to go back to a room full of tipsy girls later tonight and the guys will probably pass out in the common room.” He said as he handed the clothes to you so you could change into something comfortable. You beamed at him and thanked him, and headed towards the bathroom to change. You came out feeling extremely cozy, Remus was much taller than you so you basically swam in his jumper, it came down to your thighs.

“Well that’s not fair.” Remus said as he saw you wearing his clothes. You arched an eyebrow, confused.

“Now every time I wear that jumper I’ll know I won’t look as good as you do right now.” He said grinning, a bubbly laugh left your lips as you ran towards him, tackling him down to the bed.

“You’re so cheesy.” You mumbled as you buried your face in his chest.

“But you love me.”

“That I do.”

You both spent the rest of the night reading the astronomy book that his mother had sent him. Astronomy was your favorite subject, Remus liked it as well, and he loved seeing the way your face would light up as you looked at the pictures of the stars and constellations, and read about them.

Neither one of you realized when you fell asleep or if the rest of the boys came back.

Hours later, you were both woken up by a scream.

“BLOODY HELL, REMUS HAS A GIRL IN BED WITH HIM.” Sirius screeched.

“I’m pretty sure that’s Y/N…” Peter said.

“Keep your voice down you gits, I wanna study them more in their natural habitat.” James whispered.

“I can’t believe he did it, I didn’t think he had it in him.” He continued.

“Our little boy is all grown up.” Sirius sniffled.

You were woken up by Sirius’s scream but decided it was better if you feigned sleep, hoping that they would go away soon. Remus began stirring next to you.

“No PDA my ass, guess his wolf side won last night, huh?”

“Sirius Orion Black, if you don’t stop it with the crude comments I’ll make sure that you never procreate.” Remus snarled, his eyes still closed, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“My dear, dear, Remus, how do you possibly expect for us to remain calm when we found you two in such a compromised position?” Sirius quipped back, smirking.

“Oh shut up Pads, nothing happened, we just fell asleep.” You said, enunciating the word sleep.

“OH Y/N, I SURE HOPE HE TREATED YOU RIGHT!”

“SIRIUS, GET OFF HER.” Remus exclaimed when Sirius dramatically threw himself at you.

You were trying your hardest not to laugh because if you did they would continue and you were not going to encourage them, you could see Remus trying hard not to as well. Who knew that the rest of the marauders would make such a big deal about you spending the night in their room.

“Does that mean Y/N is our mummy now?”

“JAMES, FOR THE LAST TIME, I AM NOT YOUR FATHER DURING THE SCHOOL TERM.”

After ten minutes of nonstop teasing, they finally left you and Remus alone as they went down for breakfast.

“They are way too chipper considering they probably have a raging hangover.”

“I’m pretty sure the opportunity of teasing us gave them the strength they needed.” Remus sighed.

“If I lock the door, they would just knock it down with Peter or something…how about we get dressed and head to the lake for a bit?” you asked him, sitting up.

“But I’m comfy…” Remus whined, grabbing you by the waist and pulling you back onto his chest, burrowing his head on your hair.  

“Okay, okay! You win, but just until they come back, I don’t think I have any patience left for their teasing.”

“Agreed.” Remus sealed the deal with a kiss that left you breathless.

Luckily the boys found Filch on their way back and he interrogated them for a full hour about the loud noises that were coming from the Gryffindor common room the night before. You and Remus enjoyed a full hour of peace and quiet before they came barreling in, goofy grins on their faces when they saw you and Remus intertwine, sleeping peacefully.

“I guess the shock wears off the second time around.” Sirius mumbled, James nodded from besides him.

i came out to some of my sweeter and more entrenched in the creative-life-and-loving-of-me-and-living-in-new-york family on my dad’s side by walking into my uncle’s apartment with a buzzcut and a very luxurious scarf & when my uncle asked why i looked so different, i flung my scarf over my shoulder & said, “I’m gay!” and they were like, “oh! for real?” and i was like, “yes!” and one of my uncles was like, “i’m bisexual! hell yeah!” and then we got very drunk.

my mom and i were talking on the phone yesterday because i’m sad and heartbroken and she used all of my friend’s correct pronouns and was doing it so seamlessly and so well, and i was so fucking pumped and proud. she’s so great. i love her so much. i’m so glad that she got over her, “you’re not my daughter anymore” phase and now we can be friends again. she’s so chill about how gay i am. it’s so … cool ….. it’s so cool….. oh my god. 

my family is really great. there are many of them who i love so deeply, and who have given me the strength to be true-true-true to myself. i know that i’m so lucky. i’m not going to write about the really negative reactions i got from my family, because i don’t need to fixate on that, lol. 

Close to You (M)

You’re pulling our connections expecting me to let you go — but I won’t.

SUMMARY: You had met him when you were seven, but you fell in love with him when you were seventeen. He had been everything you’d hoped a loved one should be; until he left. Now that you’ve reached your twenty-first birthday, you’re thrown into a deal that your parents had made when you were just a kid — and that deal involved marrying the same man who had broken your heart so long ago.

GENRE/WARNINGS: Arranged Marriage!AU, Prince!Yuta — filled with angst, fluff, and smut aka my three favorite things.

WORDS: 24.1k.

A/N: I wrote this idea down in my notes and I haven’t stopped thinking about it since so I decided to bring it to life. I apologize for the excessively long length of this… Once I started writing it I couldn’t stop lmao. But I hope you enjoy it, lovebugs!!!

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time to go back to the void

2. Kissing // Nurseydex

« {Part 2 of my Valentine’s collection.} »

a/n: this is loosely inspired by that scene from the webcomic Always Raining Here because i read the whole thing a couple of nights ago and let me tell you, there were feelings. enjoy!

“Eat shit, Nurse,” Dex said, taking another swig of his beer. “I told you that you didn’t stand a chance.”

“No fair, man. I totally would have won if you hadn’t blue-shelled me there at the end,” Nursey grumbled. He set down the Wii remote and got to his feet, trying to figure out how drunk he was. No dizziness or major balance fuckery, it seemed, but his head definitely felt kinda fuzzy. Now was probably a good time to start chugging some water; he still had homework to do later. He went to fish his water bottle out of his backpack.

“I only blue-shelled you because you blue-shelled me the last lap,” Dex said. “I won that fair and square.”

“Psh. If I were sober—”

“Dude, you only had three shots. You’re 6’2”. You’re fine.”

“Yeah, but you only had, like, a beer and a half, so between the two of us, I’m definitely the more impaired one here.”

Dex rolled his eyes. “Just admit I won. Stop being such a sore loser.”

“Well maybe you’re a sore winner.”

“I know you’re an English major, but ‘sore winner’ is not a thing.”

Nursey shook his head in mock outrage. “You come into my house—”

“Your house? This is my dorm room, Nurse,” Dex laughed. “You’re in my dorm room, playing on my Wii, drinking my alcohol.”

“…Touché,” Nursey admitted, returning to his spot next to Dex on Dex’s couch. He was probably sitting a little closer to Dex than was strictly necessary. He could try to blame the shots for that, but like Dex said, he was a 200-pound hockey player. Three shots of Fireball spaced out over the last hour really wasn’t much for someone his size. If he hadn’t been a city boy with no driver’s license, he could probably still legally drive.

The real problem, Nursey thought as he glanced at Dex out of the corner of his eye, wasn’t the alcohol—it was his stupid crush on his attractive yet probably tragically straight teammate. But that wasn’t really something he liked to dwell on.

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