agnes the good witch

SLYTHERIN: “The men in the room suddenly realized that they did not want to know her better. She was beautiful, but she was beautiful in the way a forest fire was beautiful: something to be admired from a distance, not up close.” -Neil Gaiman + Terry Pratchett (Good Omens: The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch.)

She was beautiful, but she was beautiful in the way a forest fire was beautiful: something to be admired from a distance, not up close.
—  Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman, Good Omens: The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch
It may help to understand human affairs to be clear that most of the great triumphs and tragedies of history are caused, not by people being fundamentally good or fundamentally bad, but by people being fundamentally people.
—  Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman, Good Omens: The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch
What she says vs what she really means
  • What she says: I'm fine.
  • What she really means: I really love Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett's 1990 World Fantasy Award for Best Novel nominee Good Omens: The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch.
  • What she says: Nothing.
  • What she really means: The fact that the entire fandom focuses so much on Aziraphale and Crowley to the exclusion of the rest of the cast bothers me, but not enough for me to complain about it because they're my favorites also.
  • What she says: Whatever, I don't care.
  • What she really means: It seems like there is a lot of overlap between the Good Omens fandom and the Welcome to Night Vale fandom. Is there some link between them I haven't discovered yet?
  • What she says: I'm just tired, that's all.
  • What she really means: I legitimately cannot believe Hollywood started making movies about board games before Good Omens got an adaptation and the fact that in 2002 Terry Gilliam almost successfully got a movie made with Robin Williams and Johnny Depp still makes me angry, despite the fact that I somehow simultaneously want a Good Omens movie very badly and am violently opposed to the idea of a Good Omens movie. The numerous fakeouts on movie and TV adaptations means I didn't believe the radio show would actually happen until I heard Peter Serafanowizc start hissing out Crowley's lines.
  • What she says: I'm not in the mood.
  • What she really means: Why am I so okay with there being so few depictions of Aziraphale and Crowley as asexual in fandom despite the passage in the book that angels are sexless? Is it because no one in this fandom argues about anything? Is this insulting to asexuals? Should I be upset?
  • What she says: Don't worry about it.
  • What she really means: It's sort of amazing that a 25-year-old book manages to still have an active fandom, albeit a small one.
  • What she says: It's okay.
  • What she really means: Adam named his dog "Dog." He named it "Dog."
  • What she says: I don't want to talk about it.
  • What she really means: It's beyond disappointing when fanfic writers write a Good Omens/Supernatural crossover and slide Good Omens Crowley into Supernatural Crowley's spot without attempting to reconcile the huge differences in personality between the two.
  • What she says: It's not you, it's me.
  • What she really means: There was a stage adaptation of Good Omens?? Why have I not heard about this? Why can I not find any information about this? Why can I not see or read or hear anything from this production?
Aziraphale collected books. If he were totally honest with himself he would have to have admitted that his bookshop was simply somewhere to store them. He was not unusual in this. In order to maintain his cover as a typical second-hand bookseller, he used every means short of actual physical violence to prevent customers from making a purchase. Unpleasant damp smells, glowering looks, erratic opening hours - he was incredibly good at it.
—  Terry Pratchett & Neil Gaiman, Good Omens: The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch

Today is National Get a Friend to Read Good Omens (The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch) (by Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman)

But guess what? Tomorrow is also Get a Friend to Read Good Omens (The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch) (by Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman) day

So is the next day

Get someone to read Good Omens

Aziraphale collected books. If he were totally honest with himself he would have to have admitted that his bookshop was simply somewhere to store them. He was not unusual in this. In order to maintain his cover as a typical second-hand book seller, he used every means short of actual physical violence to prevent customers from making a purchase. Unpleasant damp smells, glowering looks, erratic opening hours - he was incredibly good at it.
—  Terry Pratchett & Neil Gaiman, 
Good Omens: 
The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch