The Pasadena Club

This is my fic for #CM2k17 for Meg, @imagicana. I hope Meg and all readers enjoy. 


Derek Morgan held open the black tinted door for Emily Prentiss and Spencer Reid. The door closed silently behind him after Emily and Spencer had passed through. The neon red letters above the door reflected “The Pasadena Club” on the glass.

Derek nudged Spencer’s shoulder, joking, “So, Reid, this,” he gestured to the bar and the busy attendants, the filled tables, and the red curtained stage, “is a burlesque club.”

“I know,” Spencer said, stepping away from Derek’s arm.

“Prentiss, did you hear that?” Emily looked over at Derek as he continued, “Kid over here knows what a burlesque club is.”

Emily smiled and rolled her eyes as Spencer raised his eyebrows and his voice rose, “burlesque is a-”

“Yes, yes, Reid. We know.” Derek looked around, “now where can we find our Steve Hoffman?”

Emily and Spencer glanced around the club, squinting as the lights began to dim. “There!” Spencer exclaimed and pointed to a figure gripping a microphone on stage with a smile.

“We have to get to him,” Emily said, stepping in front of a table, beginning to walk to the stage before Derek grabbed her arm.

“Prentiss, wait until he announces the dancer and we’ll find him off the stage. We don’t want him to run.”

Emily sighed as Steve Hoffman, the manager of the club who the team was pursuing as they believed that he was the unsub of the current case, said, “Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. Welcome to The Pasadena Club. The curtains will open in just a moment for Miss Tease.” Steve was interrupted by applause and excited chatter from the crowd sitting at the tables in front of the stage. “As you all obviously know, you will most definitely enjoy the show.”

The club lights dimmed all the way to be off and the red curtain inched open. In the middle of the stage was a black velvet seated chair and a woman behind it, holding a large white feather fan. The lights on the stage flicked on and the woman quickly moved her fan in front of her. She peeked out behind it with a facade of surprise. The crowd laughed and cheered and her eyes widened, dropping her fan to pivot on a black stiletto heel, seeming to look for the cause of their reaction. She turned back to the crowd, and pointed at herself questioningly. The crowd hollered and she looked down at herself and feigned horror. She ran a hand down her black button up blazer and pulled on the fabric of her black zip up skirt. She bit her white gloved pinky finger and fell to sit on the fan with a sigh.

She laid on the floor, and rolled to face the crowd. She scanned the first row of tables and pointed at a man. She crawled to the chair, and placed her hands on the seat and stood, sticking her butt out. She promenaded to the edge of the stage and stood, popping one hip. She tapped her chin with a gloved finger and looking questioningly at the crowd with squinted eyes. She put her gloved middle finger in her mouth and took the fabric between her teeth. With a smirk she slowly pulled the silk glove off her arm. The crowd screamed as it dropped to the floor in a shiny lump.

She dropped to the floor on her knees next to the discarded glove and leant forward on her bare hand. She extended her gloved arm to the man and raised her eyebrow. The man, while staring at her, pulled the silk glove off.

She took it out of his hand and put it between her teeth as she unbuttoned her blazer, slowly popping each button one at a time with a sly smile. Once the blazer was unbuttoned, she pulled the chair from behind her and used it to stand up, the sides of her blazer waving on the sizes of her torso. She stood up, popped a hip and turned the chair backwards.

She sat down with her legs open, one on each side of the chair. She tapped her finger against her mouth and looked surprised as she touched the glove in her mouth and the crowd laughed. Taking it out from between her teeth, she threw it to the floor beside her.

She moved so she was sitting correctly in the chair, her back to the crowd. The lights flashed off for a second, and when they turned back on, her legs were spread and her jacket was off her shoulders. The lights turned off again and back on, and now she had the jacket off and held by one finger. The lights went off again and when they turned on, the jacket was on the floor, her knees on the chair, a smirk on her face and her chest covered by a black lace bra.

She stood and pushed the chair away from her. She walked the stage with a smile she flashed slyly to the crowd. She walked to the middle of the stage and turned so her back was to the crowd. She bent down and tugged slowly on zipper of he skirt. She pulled on it lightly and it crept up to reveal her black lace underwear. The zipper came undone all the way and the skirt fell to the ground. She spun on her heel and faced the crowd. Walking the stage again, she swung her hips more. She bent down, sticking her bare butt out, and picked up the feather fan. In a quick movement, her bra was off but the fan was covering her chest.

The lights went off and the woman’s smiling face was unable to be seen. The red curtains drew and the crowd clapped and whistled.

Derek, Spencer and Emily looked at the drawn curtains in silence. Derek began to clap and whistle, Spencer furrowed his eyebrows and mumbled under his breath, and Emily nodded her head.

“Alright,” Derek said, “let’s go talk to Mr. Hoffman.” The three walked over, moving between still clapping tables.

“Steve Hoffman?” Emily asked when they got to him. The man nodded. “I’m Agent Prentiss, this is Agent Morgan and Dr. Reed. We’re with the FBI. We’re here to-”

“Excuse me, Mr Hoffman, but what is Miss Tease’s real name?” Spencer asked, interrupting Emily.

“Reid, what?” Derek asked and Emily looked at Spencer oddly.

Spencer sighed, “she looks very familiar, but I can’t-”

“Spencer Reid? Is that you?” A voice interrupted Spencer before he could finish. Spencer, Emily and Derek turned around, looking at a beautiful woman in a black silk robe and black slides - Miss Tease. Taking a step forward, she embraced Spencer and kissed his cheek. “My god, I haven’t seen you in what? Seven years? How’ve you been, Spence?”

“Megan Jones?”

“Yeah, Spencer! You’ve already forgotten about me?”

“No … I just couldn’t recognize you with the lights and the makeup.”

“Oh, good. I was thinking, you told me all about your memory and smartness,” Megan tapped the size of his head, “and you can’t even remember my name.” Megan smiled, all teeth and wrinkles, and kissed both of Spencer’s cheeks. “I’ve missed you, Spence.”

Spencer raised his eyebrows and said, “I’ve missed you too, Megan.”

“Spencer? You wanna introduce me?” Derek asked, standing beside Spencer and looking at Megan, his eyebrows raised.

“Right,” Spencer mumbled, “Derek, Emily, this is Megan Jones. I went to California-Tech with her and we met in Chemistry class.” Spencer looked at Megan, saying, “Megan, this is Derek Morgan and Emily Prentiss. They’re my co-workers at the Behavioral Analysis Unit.”

“The Behavioral Analysis Unit? Of the FBI?” Spencer nodded and Megan continued, “how the hell are you working for the government and I’m a glorified stripper?” Spencer smiled nervously and Derek laughed. “Well, either way, I’m so proud of you!” She hugged him again.

“Anyway, hi! As Spencer said, I’m Megan Jones.” Megan shook Emily and Derek’s hands. “It’s great to meet you,” she said with a smile. Turning back to Spencer, she asked, “would you want to get lunch with me to catch up?” She glanced at Derek and Emily before continuing, “unless you have work to do.”

“We can handle it, Reid. Have a great lunch. See you later,” Emily said, walking with Derek past Spencer and Megan to Mr. Hoffman.

“Let me change and I’ll meet you outside by my car. It’s the same one from college and it still has the dent from after the party. You still need to pay me back for that, Spencer Reid.”

“I’ve missed you, Spence. It was good catching up,” Megan said, pushing her empty plate away from her and wiping her mouth. Their lunch had lasted two hours and Megan’s mouth was sore from smiling.

“Yes, it was,” Spencer replied. His phone buzzed in his pocket, and he took it out, the light illuminating his face. He read the message and sighed. “I have to go. Derek and Emily are waiting at the airport for me.”

“That’s okay, Spence. Lunch was great. But can I at least drive you back?”

“I’d love that, Megan.”

“Keep in touch, okay? I don’t wanna fall out of contact again,” Megan looked sternly at Spencer. Derek and Emily stood to their left by the stairs leading up to the jet, looking at them as they said goodbye.

“Okay, I will.” He glanced at his partners before awkwardly kissing Megan’s right cheek.

She laughed, “Spencer, what the hell was that? That was the single awkwardest thing I’ve ever witnessed. And I saw you all through college.” With a smile, she continued, “also, you missed.” She leaned up fully kissed his lips. “Bull’s eye,” she mumbled against his lips.

Megan stepped back and laughed when she looked at Spencer’s surprised expecting. “What are you looking at?”

“Nothing. I just,” Spencer looked at Derek and Emily again and leaned down to kiss Megan’s lips. He stood back up after a few seconds - three, actually. Spencer couldn’t help but count. “Uh, yeah,” he mumbled.

Megan smiled and fully laughed. On her tippy toes, she kissed his cheeks. On his left, she kissed his soft skin quickly, and on his right, she kissed the corner of his smiling lips and the smiling wrinkles around them. “See you later, Spence. Visit me soon, okay? I don’t want to miss you too hard.”

“Okay, Megan. See you later.” He walked to Derek, who clapped him on the back and smiled with his brown eyes wrinkled, and Emily, who had her eyebrows raised and mouth frowned impressively. She waved at Megan before turning to walk up the steps behind Derek and Spencer.

Megan walked away from the plane as the engine started with a scream and the turbines blew her hair around her head and into her eyes. She skipped to the airport building, enjoying the feeling her pumping heart, bubbling stomach, and less glossed smiling lips gave her.

She hoped to see Spencer soon so that her smiling lips could be dressed with no gloss and his would be instead.

My Inner MST3K


Agent:  The review board unanimously approved your reinstatement.

Spencer:  Thank you!  Thank you, so much.

Agent:  There is a condition, however, and you may not like it, but it’s non negotiable.

Spencer:  What is it?

Agent:  That I tell you the narrative about the other agent in a strikingly similar situation to yours, which means you will automatically find yourself in a hostage situation on your next mission.

Spencer:  Why would you say that?  I don’t see how…

Agent: Foreshadowing, Dr. Reed.  The writers love foreshadowing.  That and we need to give you a way to prove yourself so the fans won’t be concerned that we’ve somehow seriously altered your character or that we’re setting you up to leave the show.

Spencer: …

Agent:  So, when this inevitable hostage situation occurs, remain calm and remember, it’ll all work out - our ratings can’t afford to lose you.  We’ve already taken enough heat over ending your decade long bro-mance with Agent Morgan.

Spencer:  No, sir, he… We were just friends, closer to family, really.  There wasn’t any kind of romance between us.

Agent:  Not if you read the fanfiction.

Spencer:  The what?

Agent:  Sorry, fourth wall joke.

Spencer:  I’m just… I’m gonna go.

Agent:  Be careful out there, Dr. Reed.


Root and Shaw AU- 6 / ? : Random (21) -

-I read your file, and I’m kind of a big fan.

Cellist!Root x Fan!Shaw
Singer!Shaw x Fan!Root

1 - FBI x Detective

2 - Military

3 - With hood and zip ties

4 - CEO x Mediator - Part 1

5 - CEO x Mediator - Part 2

6 - Random - (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) (11) (12) (13) (14) (15) (16) (17) (18) (19) (20) (22)


Every actor has her one actor heartbreak — you put all of your thought into [an audition] and imagine yourself as Audrey Hepburn, then all of a sudden your bubble bursts. I auditioned for ‘The Dark Knight’ and went really far and then didn’t get it. I was completely devastated. The next week or so, I remember looking out my window and they were filming. I thought it could either turn me into a depressed person, or I could take it as a sign that I need to move, so I did the latter and moved to LA and got an agent.”