agent mattoo

2

“He saying he isn’t interested in women, Captain”

You can literally see Mattoo thinking “hell yeah, I’m not”. I want to fic him. I want his boyfriend coming to visit him in hospital and smacking him upside the head for getting hurt on duty.

Mattoo: Do you want to explain to me why there’s a Youtube video from last week of you, Joan Watson, and a couple other ladies who don’t show up on any database singing Bohemian Rhapsody in a fancy restaurant?

Moriarty:

Moriarty: … No.

Mattoo:

Mattoo: Also what are you, tone-deaf?

(Or, what probably happened after Bohemian Rhapsody.)