Why Agent Maine is a dork

-His goofy attempt to get up after Texas kicked his butt.

-He picked his brute shot like a kid in the candy store

Originally posted by enby-taako

-After the above he showed off to Wash to make sure it looked cool.

-4 words: He’s scared of heights.

Shout out to @a-horse-in-a-jacket. Sorry it’s so short.

New rule for why x is y: feel free to recommended what you want the character to be as well, that was dumb of me to not let people do that, sorry. If this disappoints you jacket, feel free to recommended again.

things to think about:

  • maine
  • agent maine
  • agent maine of project freelancer
  • arguably the most intimidating freelancer
  • the freelancer who doesn’t like needles and probably doesn’t like heights either
  • the freelancer with the fishbowl helmet
  • the guy who took a bullet for carolina
  • the freelancer who straight up posed with the knifle to see if it looked cool
  • the only one heavy enough to counter-balance the sarcophagus
  • the guy who drove a car through the air to catch carolina and york
    • and had rap music playing
  • the person carolina gave up her ai for
Why Lopez is Great

Originally posted by 1andonlykys

-Let’s get this out of the way right now, Lopez is the only member of the BGC who was a badass from the start.

-He was able to fire a turret despite only being a head.

-Though O’Malley reprogrammed him, he still had enough self-control to mess with him. (Ex. He made him insult himself in Spanish, he also made sure the Lopez army would take a literal day of victory.)

-Pretty much the only character destined to survive, he makes backups of himself when he is in danger.

-HE FOUGHT OFF THE META TO SAVE SIMMONS AND WON!

-He survived getting shot in the head by Washington and being made into a scarecrow by Doc and Donut.

-Didn’t give Wash any crap for shooting him.

-Never balks at the prospect of helping the people of Chorus.

-In probably my favorite moment in the entire series, after getting decapitated yet AGAIN, he figures out that he can still move his body and proceeds to knock out the Space Pirate that shot it off with one punch.

-NOTICED DOC WAS MISSING, NEXT TO DONUT.

-Figured out the blues and reds were bad before the rest of the BGC did.

-Trusted Locus, even after everything he did.

-Most importantly, he sticks with the BGC even though their a bunch of idiotic jerks because at the end of the day, Lopez is a nice guy who still cares about them.

Shout out to @vanessakimballs 

P.S- Feel free to recommend more characters to make these.

Headcanon:

Agents Maine and Washington are the only ones on the Mother of Invention who know sign language. And, like, they’re ALWAYS TALKING IN IT like super long, fast conversations. Wash will be talking to Connie and simultaneously signing to Maine at the same time. Maine will laugh. (Well. Chuckle. Maine doesn’t -laugh-.)

Everyone is really fuckin curious because Maine doesn’t talk, except he and Wash have conversations that last hours and no one understands what they’re saying (except maybe Florida? But who knows with that fucker)

So, like, Maine and Wash get sent on this super long mission, like a few weeks. And York spends the entire time on the internet learning sign language. He’s determined.

Finally the pair gets back and York is ready, so fuckin ready to see -

- and Wash and Maine are signing the bee movie to each other.

(York runs crying into North’s room. North throws him a bottle of vodka and sighs.)

who u should fight rvb freelancer version
  • York: York’s a great guy who could also probably like, rip you in half but tbh I feel like he’s that guy in the group who makes endless puns and dick jokes so, hey, punch him and then run away, lock a door behind you, and you’ll be fine. Fight York.
  • Carolina: I mean. I don’t know what show you’ve been watching, I really don’t. Jesus Horatio Christ on a popsicle don’t fight Carolina.
  • Washington: Wash has had the shittiest life ever. Of all time. Do not fight Wash give Wash chocolate and love.
  • South Dakota: True, South will rip you to tiny bitty little shreds, okay yeah but she got North killed and Theta lost and just... if you can fight South pls go for it
  • North Dakota: Why would you fight him. Why. North wants to give you a blanket and a cup of tea and talk about Grifball with you why would you fight him? Also if you did fight him he'd shoot you from three miles away. You're not nearly good enough to even get near him to actually fight him so don't bother. Don't fight North.
  • Texas: IF YOU FUCK WITH TEX YOU'LL BE ON YOUR KNEES FOR SURE
  • Maine: If you want death, then yes, fight Maine. But don't actually. Either he'd punch you once and you'd explode or he'd pick you up by the scruff of your neck and place you on a really high shelf or something. Don't fight Maine.
  • Connecticut: CONNIE IS A GOOD HUMAN BEING WHO'S TRYING TO DO THE RIGHT THING DON'T FUCKING FIGHT CT
  • Wyoming: Please rip his mustache off. Fight Wyoming.
  • Florida: That's like the worst idea ever ok look Florida is a chill honestly nice dude who will slather you with compliments and mean them but you will not last 0.0002 seconds in a fight with him. Nah he isn't on the leaderboard but that's probably cos he's like, way too cool for that shit okay don't fight Florida. Let Florida hug you.
  • Iowa: why would you do that that's like fighting Caboose except a Caboose who's never killed anyone okay it's like fighting Caboose's more innocent twin if that's possible DON'T FIGHT IOWA
  • Georgia: Yeah go ahead fight Georgia he seems like a dick. Also he probably sucks I mean we all know what happened to Georgia you might even win. Fight Georgia.
  • Ohio: bruh don't fight Ohio, set Ohio up with Sherry
  • Idaho: ehhhhhhhhhhh I feel like that would be a dick move. Don't fight Idaho.
  • Utah: how can you fight utah you don't even know what utah looks like