aged effect

Bioware: hey bethesda check it out *weird facial animations*
Bethesda: pfft that’s nothing bioware, how about this? *npc swimming down staircase*
Bioware: oh it’s on now *character walking in midair*
Bethesda: don’t start a fight you can’t win *vertical inclines intensify*
Bioware: ?! *protagonist scuttles across the screen like some eldritch abomination*
Bethesda: *npc stuck inside the floor*
Bioware: *pixilates textures of major plot animations*
Bethesda: *skin texture error*
Bioware: *screaming in frustration, jumps on Bethesda and attempts to strangle*
Bethesda: *also screaming*
Me: *sighs fondly*

Me replaying a game: Alrightee, time to begin a new journey with a different character. 

Also me: Picks same hair style, same hair color, same eyebrows, same eye color, same nose, same makeup, same romance, same dialogue options, same combat skills, same fucking everything. 

Every Bioware Romance Ever.

Love interest: let me tell you all about my trauma/tragic backstory/death of a loved one/slavery/addiction/ect.

Player: That’s really sad. You know what that put me in the mood for?

Love interest: What?

Player: Fucking. You specifically.

Love interest: I am down for some reason.

*Cue dramatic make out/sex scene*