again... in my point of view that is

my dad just told me a story that back in Cuba my grandparents lived next door to a lesbian couple who my grandparents lost touch with after they fled when C.astro took power. 30 years later, my dad had to go to Cuba for a work thing and my grandfather asks him to go see them and say hi. When he went to see them, they were still living in the same location, and they were so overjoyed. They started telling stories about his parents and my dad was cracking them up with his own stories about his parents. But halfway through this meetup he pulls out a cell phone that costed a pretty penny, said fuck it, dialed my grandfather unexpectedly, and allowed them to talk to eachother after 30+ years. they were crying from sheer joy that they got to speak to their friends again who made it out; who they never thought they’d hear from again.

Point of the story? My grandparents were roman catholic latinx and managed to be 100% loving and cool with this lovely lesbian couple in a time where you’d think that would be unheard of. If they didn’t hate gays, don’t give a pass at your grandparents for engaging in homophobic behavior. “They’re a product of their time.” Bullshit. They’re bigoted and unwilling to look past their narrow minded view of the world, Susanne and you’re enabling behavior because they can’t piss the same anymore. Don’t make excuses for them. They’re old, not incapable.

Lurker Speculation:

DISCLAIMER: This is my personal opinion. In no way am I stating what I say here is canon or completely accurate. if you disagree with my opinion, that’s perfectly fine! Everyone has a different point of view, but if you are going to send me messages trying to argue points of view with me or send me hate messages, do me a favor and please just don’t even bother.

I am yelling rn, okay. Y’all remember this guy, right?

Wtf FUCKING JESUS I’m really starting to wonder who this is. Obviously it’s someone important because, hello! Here he is again this month:

And Falco speaks to him, Grasping at straws here I’m really starting to believe this might very well be Eren. It’s either him or another extremely relevant character. Half of their face is hidden by bandages or entirely thanks to the way Isayama chooses to draw them. Obviously purposefully wanting to hide their identity. His armband is on the wrong side, and we’ve seen him lurking in two chapters. Is this really Eren???????????? I have my doubts tbh because it seems too easy and entirely too risky, but BRUH this long haired dude popping up in covertly drawn manners in two chapters now is too eerie to ignore. 

WHO ARE YOU LONG HAIRED BEARDY MAN?!

This is what “balancing the Force” looks like:

I wrote a 25-page paper on Star Wars arguing that “bringing balance to the Force” didn’t mean “the Jedi will be 100% in control” (and of course not the opposite) but bringing the two aspects of the Force into alignment, using Anakin as a case study. Brief recap of my paper:

  • EPISODE I
    • The Jedi literally don’t know that slavery still exists in the galaxy and are shocked when Shmi says “The Republic doesn’t exist out here… We must survive on our own.” So like… the fuck.
    • Anakin asks Qui-Gon “Have you come to free us?” and Qui-Gon says “No, I’m afraid not,” to which Anakin replies, “Why else would you be here?” Here we can see the innocence and goodness in Anakin juxtaposed against the moral ambiguity of the Jedi. They’re there for repairs on their ship - nothing more, nothing less. Witnessing slavery does nothing to change those priorities.
    • The Jedi take a child away from his mother, and when Anakin is (rightfully) scared for his mom, who has been left in slavery, the Jedi are still like well, you know, ¯\_(ツ)_/¯, enforcing the laws against slavery seems kinda like a lot of work so we’re just not gonna get involved. That’s like… not quite what you would expect from the “Light” Side.
    • Anakin is literally a child whose mother has been left in slavery and, understandably, he’s kind of freaked out. Instead of acknowledging Anakin’s pain as legitimate and working with him, the Jedi take an oppositional stance, telling Anakin that “Fear is the path to the dark side” - a phrase that was much more apt in the Original Trilogy than it is here, where Anakin is only nine, and his fears are 100% rational.
  • EPISODE II
    • Obi-Wan asks Anakin if he’s sleeping poorly because of his mom, Anakin basically admits yes, and Obi-Wan says “Dreams pass in time.” Uh, Obi-Wan, I’m sure you have good intentions and all, but the problem isn’t in the dream world. Anakin’s dreams are a reflection of the actual, legitimate, very real danger his mother is in, and Obi-Wan’s response only dismisses Anakin’s fear and drives him further away from the Jedi Council. And, again, the Jedi could have fixed this entire situation by either rescuing his mother or actually trying to stop slavery instead of just paying lip service to the idea.
    • Anakin and Padmé fall in love, and Padmé is like “yo is this, like, allowed to happen for you??” and Anakin says “Attachment is forbidden. Possession is forbidden. Compassion, which I would define as unconditional love, is central to a Jedi’s life, so you might say we’re encouraged to love.” So… Taking a woman’s child so he can fulfill their prophecy and leaving that woman alone and enslaved on a desert planet is compassionate behavior now? Right. Sounds fake, but okay. Also, Anakin is literally pointing out the hypocrisy in that statement - so you can love humanity and people, but you can’t love a person? That’s super weird.
      • Falling in love is like… not really something you can help? Especially not the first time. Just, you know, speaking as the classic lesbian who has fallen for a straight best friend… just saying “don’t do that” is not really going to help. At all.
    • At this point, the Jedi have created a situation where if Anakin falls in love (as he is wont to do as a literal teenager who was not brought up in the Jedi Order of his own volition), he has to keep that love secret or a) risk expulsion from the Jedi and b) prove them “right” that he can’t be trusted. Which, you know, nobody wants to do.
    • Padmé tells him that he “had a nightmare again last night,” and Anakin says, “Jedi don’t have nightmares.” Yo, what the fuck. This kid is a teenager, his mom is on a desert planet and enslaved, and now he feels like he’s not even allowed to have nightmares? Which are not conscious? I get that the Jedi are supposed to have total control over themselves, but first of all, that’s a completely unrealistic expectation to have of anyone, much less a teenager, and second of all, that’s a real fucked up thing to imply on a mental health level. “You’re guilty, even for the pain that your brain is inflicting on you from childhood trauma in situations (i.e., unconsciousness) that you can’t even control!” Yeah, no. There is no way that could possibly go well. 
      • If Anakin is made to feel guilty for being scared or having nightmares or missing his mom from whom he was taken when he was not even ten years old, and Jedi are pointing to those feelings as evidence that he is dangerous and untrustworthy, he is put in a situation where he cannot admit that he needs help and therefore cannot access help. Like, just get the kid a shrink! And maybe rescue his mom! There are ways to address this and help Anakin stop having feelings, if that’s something we really have to do, without shaming him, which is gross and also distinctly unhelpful.
    • Anakin goes back to Tatooine to find his mom, she’s been kidnapped and tortured by Tusken Raiders, she dies in his arms, and he slaughters the Tuskens and vows to become so powerful he will be able to stop people from dying. Which, like, is not ideal - not condoning murder - but he’s also seen his mother for the first time in years, like at least half a decade, and he is a) completely overrun with survivor’s guilt and b) rightfully grieving and c) also rightfully pissed the fuck off that he finally sees him mom again only to have her die in his arms. Like, I’d be pissed, too. And you know what helps with grief? Talking it out!! Therapy!! Friendship!! You know what Anakin doesn’t have? Literally any of those things. He can’t admit that he’s grieving his mom because it would threaten his place in the Jedi Order. The Order’s strictness continues to place him in a catch-22 where admitting he needs help is already condemning him.
  • EPISODE III
    • Anakin beats Count Dooku in part because he is furious that Palpatine has been “captured” and taps into the Dark Side with that emotion. THEN, Padmé’s like “surprise, I’m pregnant,” and Anakin (again, understandably) flips the fuck out. He has nightmares about her dying in childbirth, and guess who he can’t go to for advice or help or even consolation? The Jedi!! Wow, this is going so well for everyone, what great policies we have here.
    • The Jedi Council want Anakin to spy on Palpatine, and Anakin (correctly) points out to Obi-Wan that this goes against the Jedi Code, against the Republic, and asks why Obi-Wan is asking this of him… to which Obi-Wan replies, “The Council is asking you.” So, you know, this doesn’t exactly endear Anakin to the Council, who have already been pretty shitty to him and are now seemingly hypocritical as well.
    • Palpatine says to Anakin, “Be careful of the Jedi, Anakin. They fear you. In time they will destroy you.” and yeah, he’s playing on Anakin’s confusion and suspicions and totally using him as a pawn here, but he’s also right. The Jedi have proven themselves to not have Anakin’s best interests at heart, even if they have good intentions. And they do fear Anakin, so, you know, that whole “non-attachment prevents fear” thing isn’t really working out for them either.
    • Palpatine tells Anakin that the Dark Side can allow you to control death, and Anakin (who, let’s remind ourselves, has watched his mother die in his arms) begs to know how so he can save Padmé should his nightmares come true and she die in childbirth. And, again, since he can’t go to the Jedi for any help with this, he feels he has no choice but to trust Palpatine.
    • Here we get to a real fun sequence of events. Palpatine tells Anakin he’s a Sith. Anakin threatens to kill Palpatine, but doesn’t, so he can maintain the possibility of learning how to save Padmé. He goes to tell the Jedi, who rush into action and don’t allow him to join them because they think his fear will cloud his judgment, ignoring the fact that a) they’re scared out of their asses too, and b) he literally just betrayed someone close to him??? for people who have really been nothing but shitty??? So I feel like Anakin’s doing surprisingly well rn and the Jedi are basically like, “Yeah, great, but also fuck you and stay here.”
    • Soooooooo, Anakin goes to save Palpatine (again, to then save his wife), and in order to save him he kills a Jedi. At this point, Anakin’s like “I’m completely fucked,” which is true (although he’s been fucked from the beginning because the Jedi suck), and he pledges himself to Palpatine because he doesn’t think he has any other option.
    • Okay, then he goes and murders a bunch of kids, so like. That’s not great. Not gonna condone that. This was A Mistake™. I think we can all agree on that. Moving on.
    • Obi-Wan and Yoda see footage of Anakin’s fun murder time and Obi-Wan goes to try to find and defeat Anakin. In order to find him, he tells Padmé what happened and then hides away on her ship.
    • Padmé talks to Anakin, flips out when she realizes Obi-Wan was telling the truth, and as she tries to talk Anakin down from his panic- and grief-fueled descent into insanity he says, “I won’t lose you the way I lost my mother! I’ve become more powerful than any Jedi has ever dreamed of and I’ve done it for you. To protect you.”
      • Side note, at this point I get annoyed because, like, Anakin, she literally Did Not Ask. Buddy, pal, friend, she specifically told you not to do this. I know your heart is in the right place, but like, this really could have all been prevented if you’d just listened to your wife. Why are the women in Star Wars consistently the only people who know what the fuck is going on?
    • Obi-Wan reveals himself, Anakin thinks Padmé betrayed him, and Force-chokes her. So, like, again, the anger is understandable, the Force-choking is not. Not going to defend that.
    • As Obi-Wan and Anakin fight, Anakin says something extremely telling: “From my point of view, the Jedi are evil.” He isn’t lying. He isn’t even exaggerating. The Jedi have fucked him over at every turn. And the point that is being made here is that Anakin descends into madness because he, like the Jedi, lives at moral extremities. He goes mad and gives himself over to the Dark Side because the Jedi have thoroughly erased any possibility of a middle ground. 
      • The utter distrust that the Jedi Council have of “Gray Jedi” and the fact that “Gray Jedi” means both people who walk the middle ground of the Force and people who don’t answer to the authority of the Jedi Council also point to this. We can see this with Jolee Bindo and Qui-Gon, among others. If you walk the middle line, the Jedi will turn their backs on you. (Pro tip: if nobody is allowed to disagree with you, you’re probably not the good guys.)
    • Aaaaaaaaand finally the whole fight ends and Anakin becomes a weird lava-deformed creature of the night and when he finally wakes up and asks Palpatine if Padmé is okay, Palpatine says, “It seems in your anger, you killed her.” So, Anakin at this point a) is consumed with self-hatred, b) has nothing to live for because all of his loved ones either hate him (Obi-Wan) or are dead (Padmé, theoretically), and c) feels like he has no way out of the horrifying mess he’s put himself in. And here the prequels end.

What I’m trying to say here is that the Jedi aren’t perfect, and they don’t always use the Force for good. (See: “slavery is cool, we guess.”) Their emphasis on shutting out your emotions is ultimately what drives Anakin to the Dark Side because they allow no room for mistakes and therefore erase the possibility of Anakin ever getting help. Or, you know, compassion, which is supposed to be the Jedi version of love. So… The Sith suck. But the Jedi also suck. Not as much, for sure, but they are definitely guilty of some real fucked up things.

Now for the fun part!!!!! Rey, in Ep. VII, wins her battle against Kylo when she gets pissed. You can also see in that scene that when he’s overpowering her, you can see both the red and blue light reflected in her eyes, and when she closes her eyes and thinks “use the Force” and opens her eyes again, you only see the red.

What that piece said to me, and what this trailer and the poster say to me, is that “balancing the Force” means recognizing that emotions are not evil unto themselves, that you can love people and use that love to fuel goodness. Rey has the potential to balance the Force because she has already proven that she can harness emotion, be driven by emotion, and still use that for the Light Side.

Anyway, I fucking love Star Wars, meta is great, Rey can kick my ass any day, and if I’m right and these trailers are backing up my theory I am literally going to lose my mind.

Sangwoo’s Reaction in ch. 26

I didn’t really want to write anything for this chapter because everything was so clear to me but friends asked for my opinion and i saw some posts that annoyed me again so here we go.

I’m going to write this from a personal point of view because I have reacted very similar to this before when I was given specific news/information. His reaction starts with this:

He’s quiet while distracting himself by playing with a piece of cake. He is upset and annoyed by this new information (not sad or sympathetic!). It’s taking him time to digest it because he didn’t predict this and even thought Bum was a virgin so he was wrong! Sangwoo being wrong is a big deal. He is annoyed and he unintentionally/subconsciously changes the subject. This is all giving him time to digest this new information. The next reaction,

is him digging his fingers into the cake and starting to eat it. He’s taking out his irritation out on the cake and he’s not even thinking about it. He’s thinking about Bum and his story. He gets even more irritated when Bum refuses to eat the cake, and then finally, he’s done thinking, “I don’t get it…

…what the hell was I thinking!” suggests that Sangwoo is disappointed in Bum and Bum knows that because he knows Sangwoo to some point. So he starts calling his name because he’s both scared and trying to manipulate him. He knows Sangwoo likes it when Bum calls his name (remember when he was hanging Bum and stopped when Bum called his name) so he calls his name over and over again but Sangwoo is not an idiot, he knows he’s being manipulated,

After this he listens to Bum with an unamused expression. Bum is being clingy and annoying and loud so he wants to leave until either Bum calms down or whatever because he doesn’t care. He stands up and starts to leave but stops when Bum says ‘If hitting me will cheer you up, hit me.’. He listens. It’s not that he actually wants to hit Bum but it’s a nice offer and reminds him of who Yoonbum is. Probably someone irreplaceable and hard to find. Someone who allows him to be abusive and sadistic and still loves him. But then Bum starts talking nonsense, so he looks back and,

Yes, this is shock! He doesn’t understand why Bum is cutting his wrist. Really trying to kill himself? Or trying to draw attention? Or…
He just simply doesn’t understand it. And he literally just freezes there. Even after Yoonbum collapses, he’s still standing there, wondering ‘what just happened and why’.

That’s it. This was my personal view but it could also simply be that Sangwoo doesn’t care at all from the start so him talking about the cake just shows how shallow he is and maybe he found Bum’s story boring.

You decide ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[All images belong to Lezhin and the artist, Koogi]

All of us knows how it’s going to end the moment we heard [History Maker] for the first time, friends :) The History Maker is about Yuuri and Victor making history.

We are very close to the ‘moment of truth’. Victor and Yuuri are going to make it happen, they’re going to make history. 

The funny thing is now that we know that [History Maker] is taken Yuuri and Victor’s perspective if you read the lyric again, you might find that the first part is from Yuuri’s point of view

[Can you hear my heartbeat? Tired of feeling never enough I close my eyes and tell myself that my dreams will come true]

And the second part is from Victor’s perspective

There’ll be no more darkness when you believe in yourself you are unstoppable Where your destiny lies, dancing on the blades, you set my heart on fire

——————————————————–

Don’t stop us now, the moment of truth / We were born to make history / We’ll make it happen, we’ll turn it around 

[Yes, we were born to make history]

It’s a long ways down. This is a view from the vantage point of astronaut Shane Kimbrough during his spacewalk last Friday outside the International Space Station. Shane posted this photo and wrote, “ View of our spectacular planet (and my boots) during the #spacewalk yesterday with @Thom_astro.” During the spacewalk with Kimbrough and Thomas Pesquet of ESA, which lasted just over six-and-a-half hours, the two astronauts successfully disconnected cables and electrical connections to prepare for its robotic move Sunday, March 26.

Two astronauts will venture outside the space station again this Thursday, March 30 for the second of three spacewalks. Kimbrough and Flight Engineer Peggy Whitson will begin spacewalk preparation live on NASA Television starting at 6:30 a.m. EST, with activities beginning around 8 a.m. Watch live online here.

Make sure to follow us on Tumblr for your regular dose of space: http://nasa.tumblr.com

It’s strange but in a weird way, I miss my darkness… you know what I mean, the indifferent sadness that you resign yourself to when you’re completely and totally hopeless, when you no longer see a reason to try anymore so you kinda just shuffle along day after day, when nothing really matters because you don’t plan on living for much longer. Things that once ate away at you no long strike fear or anxiety into your heart cause “once I’m dead none of it’ll matter.” I’m told it’s fucked up to say because “Some people are dying to feel any other way! HOW DARE YOU WANT THAT BACK!!” Look at it from my point of view: when I didn’t have any purpose or motivation to exist, there was no stress about work, or school, or anything else; every problem just slipped away with my will to live. I could simply sink down into the darkness and embrace the silence. It’s different now that I’ve been “trying"again… It’s so much harder than before. It’s so fucking bright and loud!! but this time you’re not allowed to just walk away and cave in on yourself! You have to accept and acknowledge everything! And no matter how hard you try, you can no longer channel the familiar sanctuary that you’ve grown so accustomed to! You feel as though you don’t belong there, with the normal people, at all. After you’ve lived with the darkness for so long, can you ever truly return to the light? or will it always have those pieces of you, the ones that it took in the first place?
—  Thoughts I’ll never speak out loud.
(Sorry it’s so long, I’m awful at describing things so it takes me a while to do it)

This town is neat. Night Vale is neat. Love is neat. Love is, is very neat actually and um, and you are neat. That first night when we sat on the trunk of my car and looked at the lights above the Arby’s? When I got up to leave I looked at you, and I tried to think of how to say everything I was feeling. But I’ve never really been good at describing feelings, I’m only good at describing facts, and love, love isn’t a fact. You know? Love, it’s it’s a hunch at first and then later it’s a series of decisions, a lifetime of decisions. That’s love. And, I didn’t, I didn’t know how to express that and so I just said: “I’m glad I decided to call you.” And now, um, tonight, I say I’m glad again, for this decision and, all the decisions that will come every day after. Which is to say, scientifically speaking of course, speaking from the point of view of mere facts and logic and you know, what with the science and all…  I just thought that it was time for us to make a life together.

Was Viktor Annoyed at Yuuri? (Or why Viktor Nikiforov was such a bully in Ep. 2 and 3)

You know how we can’t seem to read Viktor’s character in the early episodes? Is he on Yuuri’s side? Or is he really a bad guy?

I think what lent to the confusion is that there were circumstances that we did not know at the time. Now though, we know that Viktor came to Japan by Yuuri’s invitation, which Yuuri conveniently forgot, leaving Viktor in the cold – confused, alone and friendless, surrounded by strangers in mother-effing Japan.

I imagine that between meeting at the hot springs and Viktor falling asleep after eating, he had tried engaging Yuuri in conversation, maybe tried getting that old spark between them back. Yuuri, though, sober and thinking that that was their first “real” meeting, probably just stuttered and ran off and just generally acted evasive and odd.

Viktor tries…

…but Yuuri Katsuki just keeps going

What does he mean what? What is even happening??

Eventually, Viktor’s fuse just sort of shorts and before he could stop himself, he is asking Yuuri about his victory-katsudon and asking why he would eat it when

Lmao, the little shit.

If we go thinking Viktor is somewhat annoyed at Yuuri’s rather cold welcome, this actually leaves us with this wonderful thought: a pissed of Viktor Nikiforov is still adorably entertaining.

Look at this dork. He is caustic,

petty,

and is just downright merciless.

Given all that though, he also drowns his sorrows alone and gets himself shit-faced when it all becomes too much.

Viktor Nikiforov is basically your standard passive-aggressive girlfriend with a side of drunk Russian.

I can just imagine Viktor drunk-slurring in Russian at the locals of Hasetsu, lamenting about their insensitive golden boy who swoops in on unsuspecting world champions, makes them fall for them, invites them to Japan and then proceeds to act like nothing happened. Can you imagine the nerve of the guy? To hell with Yuuri Katsuki! He will pay for this. Viktor will choreograph the most difficult short program in history and make him skate it!

Good thing probably no one in Hasetsu can understand Russian.

I think this was also partly why he agreed to Yuri P’s demand to come back to Russia if he wins Hot Springs on Ice. Even if Viktor later seemed to regret it (which I talked about in this meta), I think at that moment, Viktor thought that it didn’t matter much whether he stays or goes. Yuuri Katsuki was not what Viktor expected, and he no longer knows where he stands with the other boy.

Besides, Yuuri is confusing af okay. Really? Eros is katsudon? The program rings no other bells whatsoever?

Like bruh, you’re not even high??

One of my favorites is when Yuuri went like this

and it is so reminiscent of that adorable thing kids do when they want their favored person (like a parent or a teacher) to be proud of them (“so please watch me do this amazing thing okay!”). It is a sign of affection from Yuuri to Viktor, but just look at it from Viktor’s point of view. You seduce me, forget about me, and now you want my attention again – so many mixed signals, Yuuri!

Lmao, look at Viktor’s wtf face:

It’s like he doesn’t know what the hell is going on anymore and his soul just died a little.

One has to hand it to Viktor, though: he is not the kind of person who would sabotage a fellow skater by doing something awful at the start of their program. He reins himself in and somehow finds it in himself to encourage Yuuri.

Viktor also seemed to calm down at the end. He… forgives Yuuri? Here, I think – after seeing Yuuri figure out Eros.

Did he catch a glimpse of the skater he knew, or perhaps the boy he danced with at the banquet? Or did he see something else in Yuuri, nearer to that boy in that video who seemed to understand “Stay Close to Me”?

I think eventually Viktor decided to just become Yuuri’s coach for real because he is talented and worth it; whatever is between them can be settled on a later date, when he knows Yuuri more.

Really, it was a journey becoming Yuuri Katsuki’s coach - literally (because wow, how many hours is it from St. Petersburg to Hasetsu) and figuratively (because emotional and psychological stress is a thing, and this is why you don’t drop your day job because you met a cute boy at a party).

All these books and movies and games
Telling us women are strong
As if we must be reminded
Told what we are

As if we did not carry the universe
On soft shoulders
Raise stars in our bellies

As if we did not fight
Tooth and claw
Spit blood at your feet
And swing again

Women are born strong
It is this world who tells them they are weak
Raise your girls to be warriors

Raise them to do whatever it is they wish to do
Teach them to fight for what they love
Teach them to give that love
Teach them

—  Girls are superheroes naturally

One of my favorite little changes they made to the new beauty and the beast was when the beast realizes that belle has come back. First off, I love how belle grabs the arrows from gaston and breaks them over her knee, “where is he?!” like girl…I love you so much, and then she wrestles with the gun gaston has! That was so great to see because you see how desperate belle is to protect the beast because she knows the type of man gaston is and what he can do. 

So at this point the beast is jumping from turret to turret on the castle because he’s trying to get his footing, but everything is falling apart where he lands. That’s when it happens. Belle, who runs to an opening on one of the turrets, looks out and see’s the beast almost fall and she screams “No!” and the beast stops, whispers “belle?” and looks over and there she is. She’s wearing her white under garments and against the darkness, she sticks out, the light of hope and love that the beast thought he had lost. 

He then jumps up to another turret and it’s this shot that I adore

“Belle!” he screams and it shoots back to her face and she looks so relived that he’s ok, “You came back!” and EVERY TIME I see this movie (i’ve seen it like…5 times…maybe more) I get goosebumps at that line. The way that Dan delivers his performance as the beast is fantastic. Belle then screams that she tried to stop the villagers from coming, but the beast is all focused on belle. “Stay there! I’m coming!” and he has this focus on belle, he’s completely forgotten about gaston, he just needs to get to belle, to see belle, to be with her again. 

Fast forward a bit and the beast has this great line when he’s holding gaston over the edge, “I am NOT a beast” and then it quickly shoots to belle who gets this watery smile on her face, and the beast yells to gaston to leave. And the beast is getting ready to jump over to belle and she’s all panicked, “no! it’s too far!” so worried about him, and he does make the jump, pulling himself up and then they stare at one another and it’s a moment of peace because finally they are back together. 

BAM. Gaston shoots the beast and belle quickly runs over to him and is trying so hard to get him out of harms way but he’s too heavy and he’s too hurt to move on his own, and she’s so desperate. Calling for gaston to stop, trying to pull the beast, “come on!” she says at one point (caught this on my 3rd viewing, she sounds so scared and desperate as she tries to get him to safety) and then gaston shoots the beast AGAIN and he tumbles out of belle’s arms and she runs to him. 

Yes, the end exchange between them is quick. But, for me, that makes sense. The beast has been shot 3 times in the back and had been hit multiple times. It would make sense that he is dying faster in this version. That was something that always bothered me in the animated version (which i love and adore mind you) because…he gets stabbed in the side. And maybe he gets hit in a vital organ, I don’t know. But he gets stabbed with this little knife (after an arrow to the leg and being hit a few times) and just dies on the spot. It’s an animated movie of course, so things will differ because of our suspension of disbelief. 

Am I saying one is better then the other? No, because I love both movies. I love them for all their similarities and their smaller differences. Some tweaks I like more in the live action movie, and some things I like more in the animated. But for me, both these movies are pure magic. 

hey u ever think about how the real tragedy of the last of us is ultimately….it was meaningless. at least from ellie’s point of view - all those people that died, riley and marlene (most notably) and countless others just to further her and joel’s journey. 

and at the end of the day she doesn’t even have joel. she doesn’t even get that because she knows he lied, she knows that even though he made that decision the blame is not entirely his, it never can be.  

the things they did, the terrible terrible violence she inflicted wasn’t worth anything - there was no payoff, no redemption. she’s just stuck now, stuck with the things she’s done and the knowledge that she might’ve become someone she never wanted to be. her and joel’s relationship is a sliding scale, they both move closer to each other as ellie redeems him and he corrupts her. it cost ellie everything, and it cost joel nothing. because in his eyes it was worth it. and in her eyes, it never will be.

HOW TO WRITE A STRONG ESSAY

I recently got an ask about how to write an introductory paragraph for an essay so I thought I’d do a post about how to write a good essay.

** Important Points ** For essays in high school, use third person unless the teacher specifically tells you not too. It’s more academic and professional while first person sounds really informal. I’ve heard that in college it’s different but again, it depends on the class. Stay on the safe side and use third person unless otherwise specified. Also, try to be as sophisticated and mature as you can. This makes the essay sound smarter and makes it easier to read.

1) INTRODUCTION

Try to think of an upside down pyramid here. You start off broad and end off tapered to a point (specific). The formula for writing a good intro is this: hook, background info, introduce topic of discussion, and thesis. In the pyramid example, the hook is the broad and the thesis is the narrow. The intro is usually around 8 sentences long.

  • Hook: Unlike what you’ve probably been told through out high school, the hook is not necessarily a wow statement. It’s typically a broad idea that relates to the topic of discussion. I usually use historical facts or common wisdom and go from there. I then follow it up with a sentence that elaborates on my hook and a sentence that connects my hook with the background info.
  • Background Info: Here you give the reader some context as to what you will be discussing in your essay. It sets the scene for the topic you’re discussing. Try to be concise.
  • Introduce the Topic of Discussion: Here you give a brief summary of the points you’re arguing/discussing. It should be one sentence per body paragraph and again, be clear and concise and avoid merely summarizing the plot. This part should cover the gist of your ideas.
  • Thesis: This should be a longer complex sentence that summarizes your point of view and ideas. This is one of the most important parts of the essay so crafting a good thesis is crucial.

I did a more detailed post about the introduction with an example introduction paragraph HERE.

2) BODY PARAGRAPHS

The meat of your essay. Here is where you state your arguments and defend them with supporting evidence from literature, articles, or even your personal experience. I would generally limit one argument per body paragraph. Which reminds me, most likely you have been taught the canned five paragraph essay. Some people write all their essays in five paragraph format because they thing that is the only way to go. Really, you can do four+ body paragraphs with the common numbers being four and six. It depends on the essay. When writing your body paragraph you need this structure: topic sentence, three points, three examples of supporting evidence, conclusion. Body paragraphs typically fall between 8 -15 sentences.

  • Topic Sentence: This is similar to a thesis. Here you’re stating the argument that you are proving in a clear and concise sentence.
  • Three Points: There’s a rule of thumb that you generally want to have three points about each argument and have a piece of supporting evidence for each point. I’m going to start with the three points first. Basically, you want three ideas about your argument that show why it’s valid. For example if you’re trying to argue that cheese is dairy, your three points are it’s made of milk, it’s featured in the dairy section of the grocery store, and the FDA labels it as dairy.
  • Three Examples of Supporting Evidence: These are usually quotes from other sources or the piece of literature you’re analyzing that support the three points of your argument. To use the really bad cheese example from above, for the milk point you’d use an ingredients label from a package of cheese, for the grocery store point you’d get a sheet with the department labels and the produce in those departments, and for the FDA point you’d find a quote from their website.
  • Conclusion: This is a sentence or two that wraps up your body paragraph. It should briefly summarize the points you discussed or the topic sentence and help transition into the next paragraph.

2) a. COUNTER ARGUMENT PARAGRAPHS 

This paragraph is NOT necessary for most essays. However, some do require them so it’s important to know how to approach them. Depending on whom you ask, they’ll either tell you that the counter argument paragraph goes in the middle of your body paragraphs, or at the end. Personally I prefer the end but the middle is more correct. Placing it in the middle allows you to end on a strong note but I think it’s a matter of personal preference. The counter argument is used to present an opposing view point and say why it’s wrong. This can strengthen your argument if it’s done properly but ruin it if it’s done wrong so tread carefully. The only thing different from the body paragraph structure is the topic sentence.

Topic Sentence: Here you need a specific template to start the paragraph properly. I usually use: It may be argued that _______________ but there is sufficient evidence to show that _______________. The first blank is filled with the opposing argument and the last blank is your argument. There are different ways to structure this sentence but this is the one I use.

The rest of the paragraph is the same as the body paragraph: you get three points as to why the counter argument is wrong and three points to support it. Then you end with a typical concluding sentence.

3) CONCLUSION

This is where you wrap up your arguments and finish strong. It has three components: a restatement of your thesis, summary of your arguments, and general statement to wrap it up. Think of the right side up pyramid this time. The pointy end is the thesis and the bottom is the general statement that closes your essay. A conclusion is typically 5 sentences long.

  • Restatement of Thesis: This is pretty self explanatory; you restate the thesis using different language than you used in your intro.
  • Summary of Arguments: Here you briefly touch upon the arguments you covered in your essay. Again, clear and concise, and whatever you do, DO NOT introduce new information. It can ruin the amazing essay you worked so hard on.
  • General Statement: A general statement is a broad idea that you use to tie your entire essay together. It’s kind of like the hook but should be more relevant to your essay.

And that is how you write a killer essay. I use this technique whenever I write and it has never failed me. Hopefully if will help you improve your writing! If you have any questions, feel free to hit up my ask box.

Sleepovers

“I’m not taking your bed, Potter!”

“Damn it Draco, you’re my guest, just take the bed!”

“Why would I want to sleep in that-” Draco gestured vaguely in the direction of Potter’s bedroom. “That mess? I’d rather sleep with that crotchety old house-elf!”

Okay, so that might be taking it a little too far, but Draco refused to care. This isn’t what he asked for. Just because he was worried that the threats were getting a little too specific. Just because someone managed to get a Howler past his wards a few days ago. Just because that happened at three o’clock in the morning, disrupting his already fitful sleep… Really, none of that warranted this little “sleepover” at Grimmauld Place. And he’d be damned it he’d let Potter make him feel guilty for his favour. To emphasise that point, he crossed his arms and lifted his chin in an effort to look down his nose at the Auror in spite of their height difference.

“Mess? You’ve never even seen my-”

“What else would your bedroom be?” Draco muttered, petulantly.

Potter pinched the bridge of his nose, forcing his glasses down. “Draco just - You know what? Fine.” He glared over the rim of the glasses, now riding low on his nose, then turned, waving a hand behind him dismissively as he made his way up the stairs. “Take the couch. I don’t fucking care. Don’t mind the dog hair, it hasn’t been cleaned since Sirius lived here.” He pauses thoughtfully. “Now that I think of it, Remus probably left some hair on it, too, when they-”

“Fine!” Draco cut him off, shooting a disgusted glance at the sofa (dog hair? Wait, when they what?!) before jogging up the stairs to push past him. “Fine, Potter. Merlin, you’re a bastard. Enjoy the dog hair!”

A smug smile spread across Potter’s face for a moment before freezing in place.

“Er, wait, actually… I mean, that thing really is…” He scrubbed a hand through his rat’s nest before letting it rest on the back of his neck, eyes shifting sheepishly around the corridor. “And, you know, it is a pretty big bed…”

Draco scoffed. “I doubt a bed exists that’s big enough for us to share.” He sneered, gesturing between them. “Isn’t it enough that we have to sleep in the same house?”

“Hey, it’s not my fault you didn’t want stay with Ron.”

“Yes, well,” Draco sniffed, aiming for haughty. “Weasley and I can’t coexist on the same  street, let alone in the same-”

“And,” Potter added, stepping closer, eyes narrowing. “It didn’t seem like such a bad idea, last night.”

Draco swallowed, willing his voice to remain steady.

“I was drunk, Pott-”

“Hardly,” he chuckled. He was even closer, somehow, caging Draco mere centimetres from the bedroom door and safety. “You sat at that bar with one drink for an hour before you came stumbl-”

“I needed your help… “ The argument sounded weak, rehearsed. It was, of course, but it wasn’t supposed to sound like it. And, apparently, Potter wasn’t buying it.

“That must have hurt,” he quipped, cocking his head with a grin. “Only, I don’t think that was just you needing help… Hell, you were-”

“What’s your point?” Draco whined. He couldn’t help it. Potter’s heat was burning him, his voice, lowering as he leaned closer, was too much. Too suggestive, too interested, too-

“My point,” he whispered, stepping still closer, until the wall was pressed to Draco’s back, Potter flush against his front, leaving no room to back away further. “We’re going to be here for a while, I’ve got that big bed,” he tipped his head forward an inch, breathing heavily into Draco’s ear, “and I’ll be damned if all we do in it is sleep.”

Potter’s knee was nudging Draco’s thighs apart, effectively removing the very last of the distance between them, not to mention coherent thought, and Draco let his head drop against the wall. The sensations, Potter’s warm thigh trapping his cock, big hands holding his hips in place, were overwhelming, overpowering. Distantly, Draco realised he was panting and wondered when that started.

“I suppose I could be, ah, convinced to-” he gasped when Potter lowered his head, sniggering, to nip at the pulse point fluttering in his throat. “Re-reconsider the…. um…”

Potter pulled back, circling Draco’s wrist with rough fingers. “Good,” he growled before crushing his lips over Draco’s.

With a whimper, Draco allowed himself to be dragged into the bedroom. The size of the bed, forgotten until Potter lifted him by his hips to toss him into the lake of blankets and pillows, is quite acceptable, he decided. He took a moment, even, to be thankful for the size since it meant there was no threat of Potter miscalculating and landing him on his arse on the other side, before locking his eyes on Potter again. His shirt was  hanging open, his fingers working on the zip of his trousers. But his eyes, darkened to the color of the canopy deep in a forest, were raking over Draco’s form.

When the stiff material finally fell, Draco released the breath he wasn’t aware he’d been holding and let his gaze fall with it. Over the broad shoulders, the bronzed skin that stretched across coiled muscles, to the dark hair trailing into pants, clearly painted onto the trim waist and sturdy thighs.

“You’re drooling.” The amusement, while evident, didn’t mask the arousal thickening his voice and Draco snapped his eyes back to Potter’s face,making an effort to close his slackened jaw.

Shaking himself, mentally, Draco reached for some composure, some fucking balance. “What can I say?” he shrugged, a jerky, one armed thing that had Potter laughing, again. Giving in to the admission, Draco scowled. “What? I’m supposed to stare down the wizarding world’s number one wet dream with any kind of poise?”

Potter grinned and dropped his weight forward, latching onto Draco’s throat again, and fumbling with the clasp of his robes. “Glad to see you’re coming around.”

“Let me make this clear, Potter,” Draco gasped, hands scrambling for purchase in the tangle of bedclothes. “I’m not one of your simpering fans.”

“I don’t know, Draco, looks like you’re simpering, to me.” With a grunt, he pulled Draco’s trousers and pants halfway down his thighs. “You’re fucking trembling.” What does he expect when his hand closes around Draco’s cock like that?

Seeking a level playing field, Draco reared up, catching Potter’s mouth in something resembling a kiss, and pushed him until their positions were reversed. Potter let him, obviously, and tossed his arms up to prop under his head, angling for a better view. On his knees, Draco pushed his restrictive clothing down further before kicking them off, entirely, and straddling Potter where he lay sprawled across the bed. His hands, so much paler against the darker background of Potter’s skin, slid firmly over the muscles, paused to tweak nipples until they were straining and Potter was arching under him.

Leaning forward, he closed his mouth around the corded muscles on Potter’s throat, sinking in his teeth briefly before swiping at the spot with his tongue. Potter’s hands came around, finally, to rest on Draco’s arse, squeezing and releasing, molding the globes and pulling Draco’s cock hard against his own.

“Holy fuck,” Draco moaned, releasing Potter’s throat to grind back against him.

“Too many fucking -” Potter muttered, grasping at the robes still bunched around Draco’s hips.

Draco lifted his arms to help him drag the offending fabric over his head before flattening himself out again to slide his skin against Potter’s. Once started, he didn’t stop, sliding down Potter’s body, licking and nipping at the heated flesh, drinking in the sounds that escaped him when Draco reached his target.

Nuzzling at the hard flesh through the cotton pants, he hooked his fingers into the waistband and tugged, laughing when Potter’s flushed cock slapped gently against his face as it sprang free. Potter’s hand on his head, fingers slipping between the strands of his hair and loosening his stubby ponytail, drew his attention and he wrapped the slender fingers of one hand around the base, flicking a sly smile up to him.

“Eager, are we?”

“Fuck, Malfoy, if you don’t -” but Draco already was, so Potter dropped his head with a groan, fist tightening in Draco’s hair as he swiped his tongue over the head, slipping in under the stretched foreskin, before engulfing it entirely. “Jesus fucking  Christ!”

Draco pondered that for a moment. Muggle-borns used the term, frequently, but he had no actual idea what it meant. It seemed to be used as a swear word, similarly to “Merlin.“ Some Muggle idol, then? A forefath-

Potter’s hand tightened almost painfully and Draco shook the thoughts away. What was he thinking? Potter’s cock was in his mouth, leaking onto his tonsils, and he was philosophising semantics? With renewed focus, he applied himself to his task, swirling his tongue around the shaft, pulling away until his lips rested on the very tip before plunging back down until he could feel the blunt head just barely breaching his throat. And then, doing it all again.

Before long, Potter was pulling his head away and hauling him against himself for another kiss, rolling them easily until Draco was molded to the mattress beneath him.

“God, Draco,” he rasped, scraping his barely-there beard against Draco’s jaw, neck, chest. “I knew, I fucking knew you would be amazing.”

Draco jolted. Potter thought about this? About him?

Propping himself on his elbows, he watched that dark tangle of hair dip as Potter bit and kissed and scraped along his hip, his cock, the junction between his groin and thigh. With a shudder, he flopped back when Potter lifted his leg, exposing Draco to his view.

“You’re perfect,” he muttered, breath hot against the sensitive skin between Draco’s arse cheeks. “Fucking gorgeous.”

And then, Draco was arching his back, groaning wantonly as a wide, hot, wet, stripe trailed over his entrance. And then, again. And again, until Draco thought he would weep. At which point, of fucking course, Potter plunged that wicked tongue as deep as he could, bending Draco’s pliant body into the air for a better angle and a sob ripped from Draco’s throat. Had thought been possible, he might have cursed Potter for drawing such reactions from him. As it was, he couldn’t force out a curse until, because, Potter was pulling away.

“What the fuck, Po- Oh, fuck!”

Potter was chuckling, again, rotating the slick finger that had replaced his tongue before withdrawing it to add another.

Draco was begging, fuck, yes, more, please! but he couldn’t care. And when Potter finally covered him, again, stretching out over his limp form, it was all Draco could do to sling his arms over those broad shoulders and return the kiss as Potter pushed into him in one, swift, determined stroke.

Tearing his mouth away, Potter panted into his hair, grunting. “Simpering yet, Malfoy?”

Fuck, Potter, please-”

“I am,” he laughed, pulling out and driving back in to prove it. “God, so fucking tight!”

Any more words either dissolved unspoken or hung unheard as Potter set a punishing pace, slamming into him, again and again, rocking the bed with the force of his thrusts. As Draco alternated between clinging, flailing, and sagging into the mattress.

Draco was vaguely aware of his building orgasm and hooked his legs around Potter’s waist, desperate to take the other man with him when he crashed over that jagged edge. He flexed his muscles, clenching, gripping Potter tighter and thrilled when he cried out, his rhythm stuttering. He held tighter to Draco, reaching blindly for a kiss and Draco met him halfway, moaning into his mouth when he came and swallowing Potter’s shout when he followed, moments later.

Ragged, gasping breaths echoed in the sudden silence as Potter collapsed, his chest pressing fully against Draco’s again. His weight forced too much of the air from Draco’s lungs, but he didn’t care. He tightened his legs around his waist, locking his ankles to hold him there, and slid his arms over broad shoulders, toying lazily with the soft hair at the nape of Potter’s neck. A smile stretched his lips, one he couldn’t stop if he’d bothered trying.

After a bit, Potter hummed, shifting only to find himself anchored to the bed. Turning his head to blink blearily at Draco, he opened his mouth, hesitated, then closed it on a tired smile.

“Hi,” he finally managed.

Laughing, Draco craned his neck back so he could see better. “Hi, yourself.”

Potter cocked his head, a slight frown crinkling his brow. “You look awfully pleased…”

“Do I?” Draco tried to scowl but was pretty sure it came out as a grin. “Hmm, what do you know, I am a little pleased.”

With a laugh, Potter reached up to disentangle himself, groaned when he met with resistance. “Alright, I gotta piss, let me up.”

The grin turned mischievous and Draco tightened his grip. “Huh-uh,” he shook his head, playfully. “Not until you admit that I do not, nor ever have… simpered.”

Draco squealed when Potter rolled them to their sides and dug his fingers mercilessly into Draco’s ribs with a shouted “Never surrender!”

Okay, so maybe sleepovers weren’t so bad.


Is this better, @l0vegl0wsinthedark?
Omg, NSFW -NFSFW!!! D:
Am I doing this right?

Some Thoughts on TSC

I think that the Stolen Century is the weakest arc by a long shot. I don’t necessarily think that it’s a bad arc, the boys are very talented at making interesting stories; however I have a few criticisms for it nonetheless.

I think changing the story format this late in the game, while necessary to set up the finale, was a bit of a mistake. The tone of the story has changed due to how the boys are now presenting their dialogue and actions, going from “Please tell me your name.” to “Magnus asks them their name.” This small change has lead to a sort of constant reminder that this is a role playing game, and not a world we are experiencing firsthand. Personally, it makes the situations harder to imagine in my head, making it harder for me to form a solid mental image of whatever’s happening in audio.

Also the Bonds and Assets type gaming style makes the backstory feel less like “100 years of the story” and more like “100 years of goddamn grinding.” It’s less like a story building opportunity and more like “getting _____ amount of _____ to defeat the evil _____”. I want to be attached to the IPRE crew but I’m starting to feel they’re just bond dispensaries at this point. Their characters are also very underdeveloped (a consequence of having so many having to be fleshed out at once, it took up until at least the fourth arc before the THB got a reasonable amount of development in my opinion).

Regarding the evil, I would have liked it if we could have seen the points of view from several people within the hunger instead of “John Arbuckle Hunger” (again, a preference thing.) Maybe see some more points of view.

Do I hate this arc? No. Do I think it has flaws? Yes. These are all just kinda my personal scattered thoughts and feelings on TSC that I’ve been trying to organize cause I really want to like this arc, but there are reasons why I’m not as into it as the others.

my tribute to the wonderful and legendary jasper jordan

(Disclaimer: English isn’t my mother tongue, so I already apologize for any mistakes)
Jasper Jordan deserves - or rather now - deserved better. 


And you might agree - you might be sad about the fact that Jasper died or you might be unaffected - hell, I’ve read enough comments about people wanting Jasper to die, because they thought he’s annoying. Annoying. Fuck - that’s just - actually that’s messed up. But this isn’t about the people that have hated or still hate on Jasper, this tribute is dedicated to this wonderful fictional character I learned to love and appreciate. 


We got to know Jasper as this funny, dorky guy in S1 - people loved him for being positive, for being funny, for being naive, but brave at the same time. People loved him in S1, because he was easy to love. Because positive, funny people are easy to love - you seem them smile and they make you smile - and what’s there not to love? 

 
S2 Jasper - yeah, he was inspiring, wasn’t he? He was so fucking brave, he stood up for himself, for his friends in Mount Weather, he took the lead, because Clarke or Bellamy weren’t there - and he was motivating everyone else. S2 Jasper was inspiring people to do something, S2 Jasper was brave and fierce and - and he fell in love with this wonderful girl named Maya - and then everything went downhill from there. Everyone in Mount Weather died, Maya died - and Jasper - Jasper felt so safe in Mount Weather, he felt at peace, safe - ‘till he didn’t. 

 
Because while we got to know Jasper as this funny, dorky guy in S1 - people tend to forget what actually happened to him in S1. This boy is 16 years old and he was kidnapped by grounders and speared - he almost died. His friends died - and there was danger everywhere - but Jasper continued to be strong, continued to be this funny, dorky guy that people easily loved. He almost died again later, when Murphy threatened to kill him - so Jasper was constantly in danger, he was constantly on the edge of death, but people tend to forget that, because in S2 everything seems to be okay with Jasper - right? Because it didn’t affect him at all - and that’s where people are so wrong. 


Jasper suffered from PTSD - and this is canon - end of discussion. And his portray of PTSD was so real and raw and it’s actually sad that people only view it as annoying. Jasper didn’t suddenly “get depressed”, because of a girl “he just met”. I’ve read this so so many times and I can’t believe people can misinterpret a character and their storyline so heavily. This 16 year old boy went through so much, daily, they were basically at war  - he was on the edge of death - daily - at the age of 16 !!! - and if that’s not fucking traumatizing. But - I think what really affected him was that he thought Mount Weather would be safe. That they could be at peace and safe - that they could eat as much chocolate cake as they want and he could flirt with this cute girl from across the room - but as it turns out - he was never safe. The people in Mount Weather betrayed them and in the end his own people betrayed Jasper - or at least that’s how Jasper felt. And as Jasper said, they went to earth to see if it’s survivable - and from what he’s seen - it’s not. 

 
We’re at S3 now - and when I look back, I’ve always loved Jasper, but you know what, if I’m being honest - I really fell in love with Jasper in S3. And that’s pretty ironic, because people hated on Jasper constantly at that point. And why? Because he couldn’t deal with what happened and tried to cope with alcohol? Because he felt betrayed by his closest friends? Because the girl he fell in love with died in his arms and he couldn’t do anything about it? Because this sixteen year old boy suffered from so much trauma and never really experienced safety on earth? Because he suffers from a real and valid mental illness - PTSD? Because all I’ve read - all these arguments are “Jasper should just get over it”, “they all went through something traumatic” - but that’s the thing - Jasper isn’t everyone else. And you should never expect everyone to deal with their trauma the same way you do. You should never expect someone, who went through hell, to just get over it - and you should never expect Jasper to just get over it, because there are people on the show that went through something similar and are not as affected as Jasper was. 

 
And you might say that S3 Jasper is just “a drunken idiot”, annoying, broken, useless - I don’t care what ugly word you want to throw at him - but you know what? Jasper protected Raven, he actually saved her. Jasper - the apparently annoying, useless mess that you wanted dead - saved and rescued Raven. Jasper was a hero. 

 
And it’s funny, because people call Jasper selfish, self-absorbed and annoying - and I could never see that. Jasper is one of the most caring and loving people on the show and if you want to disagree - fine - but we saw Jasper, while he was positive and dorky - and he helped people, cared about them and showed bravery - and we saw Jasper, while he felt broken and while he drank himself to unconciousness - and he still cared about people, saved Raven, tried to comfort Octavia after Lincoln died or Monty after his mum died - but so many people still had the nerve to call him selfish. Because he can’t just suck it up or act like he’s fine? Because he’s not like every other character? 


But while you view him as an annoying character and hate him for acting like this - I just love him more. And just as Devon said - you shouldn’t hate on Jasper, because he’s hard to deal with right now - you should love him for that - you should want to help him, try to show empathy, try to understand him and everything he’s been through. 

 
Because while Jasper might be a fictional character - PTSD and depression are still valid and real mental illnesses. And some people might identify with Jasper - and seeing him - this representation - might help them. There might be many Jaspers out there - and the fact that people have the nerve to call him annoying, because he can’t cope with everything the way the other characters did - well that’s beyond fucked up. 


But you know what? I feel sorry for you. I feel sorry if you can’t love a character like Jasper, if you can’t see his complexity and the beauty of this character and the importance of his storyline. I don’t need to see perfect and well-collected characters on TV - I don’t need to see characters that always do what’s right and I don’t need to see characters that never make mistakes. Because that’s not realistic. It wouldn’t portray the reality. 

 
Jasper is a good person, he has a big heart, he’s selfless, brave, loving, passionate, open-minded and he cherishes freedom more than any other character. Jasper is someone, who wouldn’t force his opinion onto you - and he wouldn’t judge you for yours. Jasper doubts himself and he’s insecure, he blames himself for not being able to just act fine - and yes, Jasper is suicidal and he suffers from PTSD - and Jasper will probably die tonight - but Jasper isn’t his mental illness and Jasper will always be more than his death, Jasper will always be more than annoying and Jasper will always be more than this dorky, funny guy in S1 that everyone apparently misses. 

 
Jasper deserves better. Jasper deserved better. And we deserved to see him getting better, we deserved to see him overcome this - we deserved to see him smiling, him being close, best friends with Monty again - Jasper Jordan is maybe 17 years old now and he deserved so much more than that - and I really hoped we would’ve seen more of his journey, because his storyline, his arc could’ve been truly meaningful - but the writers apparently don’t agree. 


But you know what - Jasper Jordan is legendary and amazing nevertheless - he’ll always be a hero and a great character in my view. 


And at this point I also wanted to thank Devon for portraying Jasper - thank you for getting Jasper, for really trying to understand him and thank you for giving 100% every. single. time. - even when you just had limited screen time or too short scenes. Jasper will always be alive in our hearts, because you portrayed him so beautifully and because you tried to truly understand him in a way unfortunately many viewers couldn’t. 

 
And he might’ve not survived, but that’s not what he wanted - because Jasper wanted to live - and he always will - in our hearts. :)

Jasper Jordan is a legend. See you on the other side, my friend.

View | jaehyun

Genre: bodyguard!AU | fluff, angst, mild swearing and a lot of sarcasm.

Member: Jaehyun / reader (3rd person perspective!!!!!)

Word count: 3000+

Note: There will be a part 2!

Summary: “You’re staring.”

“I like the view”

“What, of London?”

“London doesn’t compare to you”

(or the one where she doesn’t need him, but maybe she wants him.)

part: one | two

Originally posted by yoon-to-the-oh

“No.”

“You’re being unreasonable. “ Jaehyun says, crossing his arms.

She shrugs, “I disagree.”

He sighs, “Look your Highness-”

“Don’t call me that.” She interrupts, crossing her legs.

“Okay princess.” He drawls sarcastically, “You simply can’t refuse to have a bodyguard without a valid reason.” He sighs.

She cocks her head, raising a eyebrow, “I have a valid reason!” She assures.

“Let’s hear it.” he demands.

“I don’t like your face.” She blurts. He frowns and she crosses her arms to mimic him.

“And you think my face is going to hinder my ability to protect you?” He questions.

“It could!” She assures in a seriousness that almost makes him laugh, “What if you’re looking at your reflection in a store window or your phone screen and someone kidnaps me?” She cries.

“Trust me, they’d bring you back.” He muttered scratching his head.

“What?”

“I said we’d get you back.” he enunciates, “Our job is to make sure nothing happens to you- for God’s sake I’m a trained professional you can’t just-”

“I don’t need a bodyguard. I don’t even need a guard dog, I’m perfectly capable of looking after myself!” She cries in frustration, running her fingers through her hair.

To silence that follows is a mutual agreement for a break- to regroup, relax, grab a glass of water or a snack before they come back to finish the conversation. He sighs, she kicks her feet like she feels guilty for something and looks down at the table. There’s a pack of cigarettes and a lighter that sit kindly beside an economist magazine and a small receipt like checklist of everything she needs to pack.

Paris.

Her fingers tap at her upper arm and she looks away to the wall to study the paint. He adjusts his suit, tugging at the collar of his shirt, “You’re stuck with me princess.” He says eventually.

Her neck snaps back to look at him. She wrinkles her nose, “Keep your distance.”




paris

She sitting on a smooth wooden bench in the center of the Louvre. The room is empty, cleared by security for her protection and she’s staring at a painting. Its called ‘The Embarkation for Cythera’ and her chin is resting on her fist. One leg is crossed over the other and she quickly adjust the denim skirt she’s wearing. She’s got a brochure in one hand and headphones in her ears where jazz floods her senses.

Jaehyun is a few meters to her left, watching her closely as she stares curiously at the art. She yanks her headphones out, “What?” She snaps, sighing and turning to look at him.

“I didn’t say anything.” He shrugs.

She rolls her eyes, “You’re staring.”

He shrugs again, “That’s my job.”

She shakes her head, “No, your job is to protect me. You could do that from the control room or from the other side of this room but instead you’re stood as close as you can get without it being suspicious and you’re staring.” she explains.

He licks his lips and points to the painting before her, “This is one of my favourite paintings.”

She raises an eyebrow, “So you were staring at the painting?” She asks, knowing full well he wasn’t.

He nods, walking closer to sit on the bench next to her, “Not everything’s about you princess.”

They sit quietly together, neither too bothered to fill the silence. The absence of crowds who discus meaningless matters makes her feel lonely and isolated but she’s learnt to be with herself. “Why did you take this job?” She pipes up, not quite sure why she’s interested.

He cocks his head to look at the painting and licks his lips, “Patriotic duty.”

She laughs, “You’re funny.”

He turns to look at her, “You don’t believe me?”

She scoffs, “I don’t even think you believe you.”

“Okay.” He says carefully, crossing his arms, “Why do you think I took the job?”

She pauses and watches him carefully. She holds up her hand, “I have two theories.” She states.

He smirks, “I’m all ears.”

“the first-” she starts, her posture changing because she’s in her element, “Is that you were bored. You got sick and tired of foreign business men and all that bureaucracy and you heard the rumours.”

He raises an eyebrow, “What rumours?”

“The ones about me.” She says, pointing to herself. He scoffs but she continues, “You heard about the strange princess who doesn’t buy into this whole royalty thing and you were curious.”

“Curious enough to leave the KCIA and baby sit a brat?” He asks sarcastically.

She clicks her fingers, “Or you were fired. I’m still developing some more theories.” she sighs.

He scoffs a laugh, “Yeah well keep looking.”

She sighs again, turning back to the painting. The silence becomes deafening, an unbearable reminder that she’s always alone and completely segregated from the rest of society. He can see the sadness in her eyes, he saw it the moment he met her when she watched her distant family’s children dancing in the gardens of the palace. He sees it every time she has to attend some event or smile at some strangers her parents introduce her to, even sometimes when she watches students on their way to school, laughing with their friends.

“So which one is your favourite painting?” He asks quietly, trying to give her some kind of human interaction before she locks herself in her hotel room.

She swallows, scratching her head, “I hate art.”

He frowns, “Why are you here?”

She shrugs, looking around the room at the different paintings. “I wanted to feel less alone.” she says quietly.

He rolls his eyes, “Yikes, do you ever stop feeling sorry for yourself?” He asks tiredly.

She glares, “Fuck you.”

He shakes his head, “There are many ways to feel less alone, like hookers.” he suggests.

She tries to stay angry but her lips threaten a smile and she looks down at her hands, “You’re funny.” she states once more, but this time he doesn’t think it’s sarcastic.

He points, “You should smile more.”

She waves him off even though he looks smug because he can see her trying not to grin, “Shut up.”




She’s curled against the window with a book half open in her hands and her legs bent against her body. Jaehyun’s sitting in a leather chair nearby, looking around the room while his fingers tap anxiously against the arm of the seat. He sighs loudly, “How long are we going to be here?” he asks.

“How long is a rope?” she retorts, not testing her eyes from the book.

“Long enough to hang myself with.” He replies.

“Oh, boo-hoo, your life is so miserable.” She says sarcastically, turning a page.

He sighs again, glancing around the room. The building has high ceilings with shelves the reach as high as they can. Books are in piles on coffee table before leather chairs and large windows let in light to show dust over some of them. He pushes some aside with his feet, distantly curious but barely caring enough to sit up properly. He glances at her, “What are you reading?” He asks in an attempt to appease his boredom.

She sighs, “It’s called Man’s Search For Meaning.”

He cocks his head, “Is it a self help book?” He mocks.

She scoffs, “You’re an idiot.”

He rolls his eyes, “You’re mean.” he points out.

“No.” She begins, “I dislike persistent human interaction, something I cannot get away from as long as you continue to be present in my life because your contract says you need to shadow me 24/7” she hisses.

There’s a pause and he points to her, “Mean.” He repeats.

She rolls her eyes.

He watches her read, the light from the window falling on her face like she’s waking up from a dream and her hair is tucked behind her ear. She flicks through the book like she’s hungry for some kind of intellect she can’t find in her everyday world and she bites her lip when she concentrates. “You’re staring again.” She states, not looking up from the pages.

He clicks his tongue, “I like the view.”

She looks up and raises and eyebrow, “Excuse me?”

He points to the window that overlooks le canal saint martin where trees grow along the pavement and provide shade to couples who sit on benches and watch the water flow. “Paris is beautiful.” He states with a smirk.

She rolls her eyes, “It’s famous for that.”

He cocks his head, “So are you.”

She sighs loudly and lays the book down against her lap. “Are you flirting with me?” She asks carefully.

He shrugs, “You’re pretty, we’re in Paris, might as well make the most of a bad situation.” he crosses his arms.

She shakes her head, “Your job is to protect me, not take me out.”

He sighs loudly, a grunt emitting from his throat, “Buzzkill.”

She stares at him a little longer, “You’re so unprofessional, there is no way you can protect me more than I can myself.”

“Wanna bet?” He replies without a beat.

“Do I get to go back to reading if I agree?” she says tiredly, rubbing her eyes.

He nods, “Pinky promise.”

She smirks slightly, “What’s the bet?”

He points to her, “You get a point every time you don’t need me, I get a point every time you do.”

She smiles, “You’re on.”




new york

They’re sitting in a red leather booth by the window. The floor is tiled black and white and there’s a rainbow coloured juke box in a corner where a Beatles song is playing over the speakers. She’s scarfing down a burger and the fluorescent lighting from the diner stings her eyes, it’s a contrast from the darkness outside. Jaehyun sits opposition her with his arms crossed to match the boredom on his face.

she glances at him, “Don’t look so glum.” she giggles with a childlike grin.

“You’re drunk.” he points out.

She giggles again, slurping from her milkshake and crossing a leg over the other. She’s wearing his jacket because she didn’t have one of her own and the velvet dress was too thin to keep any heat in. “You’re a buzzkill.” she retorts.

He purses his lips, “You’re an idiot.”

I’m a princess.” She reminds, wagging her finger back and forth.

He rolls his eyes, “You snuck out and went clubbing.”

She shrugs, “I like the music.” But her lip lifts into a smirk and he knows she’s still sober enough to be herself.

“You can’t ditch your security.” He repeats for what feels like the hundredth time.

She shakes her head, “I think you’ll find that I can, and I did.”

“It’s dangerous.” He enunciates, leaning forward.

She scoffs and waves him off, “The only dangerous thing about tonight is the blister on my foot.”

“Or-” he Interrupts, snatching her milkshake and taking a gulp, “The guy who followed you to the club, the one who nearly slipped something into your drink and the one who tried to hit on you.”

She frowns, “You’re the one who followed me to the club, you’re saying I was in danger of you?”

He pauses, narrowing his eyes, “You knew?” He asks.

She breathes a laugh, “Of course I knew, and what was wrong with the guy who tried to hit on me?” she adds absentmindedly, finally finishing off her burger.

He raises an eyebrow, “Really?” She just stares so he sighs and points to his wrist, “Gang tat on his arm.”

“Oh, a bad boy.” She giggled again, her cheeks flushed from the alcohol.

“A very bad boy.” He reminds.

She smiles like he’s the funniest guy on earth and he tries his best not to stare too long because she really is very beautiful. She picks up the menu again, scanning through the options, glancing at him every few seconds. She hesitates, opens her mouth a few times but doesn’t say anything.

She folds the menu and puts it down, “I have another theory.” She states.

He narrows his eyes, “Alright.” He nods.

She licks her lips and crosses her arms “You’re running away from something.”

He cocks his head and she thinks she’s getting somewhere, “Continue.”

She shrugs, “That’s all I’ve got. Maybe you fucked up, hurt someone or got hurt- I’ve seen the scar on your hip.”

His arms instinctively tighten together and he wrinkles his nose, “You been checking me out?” He smirks, trying to deflect.

She shrugs again, “I like the view.”

“Now princess, are you flirting with me?” he questions, leaning forward in his seat and pressing his forearms into the table.

He’s got this smile on his face like he knows what she’s going to say. She smiles back, like they’re drunk idiots at 4am eating junk food somewhere in the middle of new York. She wipes her lip with her thumb and rest her elbows on the table, her head resting in her hands. They’re close enough that she’s pretty sure he can heart her heart slamming against her rib cage, “You’re beautiful.” She murmurs.

He cocks his head, his hand reaching out and pushing the hair away from her face. He tucks it behind her ear and she sighs, closing her eyes, “You’re drunk.” He says sadly.

She giggles, only making everything crash down around them much faster, “‘Yes I’m drunk, and you’re beautiful. And tomorrow I’ll be sober-’

‘And you’ll still be beautiful.’” he finishes. He sighs, letting his hand drop, “Its late princess, let’s get you home.”

She smiles again when she sees his cheeks flushed red and as he leads her out of the diner, his hand is on the small of her back, trying to keep her steady. He tries his best not to touch her for too long in case he kisses her but he helps her climb into the car and she holds onto his hand a little too tight like she doesn’t want to let go of him.

He smiles.

Her: 1

Jaehyun: 1




She’s panting, sweat dripping down her forehead and her shirt clings to her body. She takes a swig of her water bottle and wipes her cheek, trying to cool herself down. She looks over the cliff, staring down into what seems like the abyss and smiles. She’s trekked all this distance, wading through the dirt and gravel and the grass that scratches her ankles while the sun beat down on her skin.

“I didn’t take you for a hiking person.” Jaehyun huffs out.

She chugs a gulp of water and wipes her mouth with the back of her hand, “I wanted to try something new.”

He shakes his head and clicks his tongue, knowing full well she did it to get some space and, and sighs, “Right.”

“Anyway-” She shrugs, stepping over a rock, “This is fun.”

“Oh yeah, 1000° of fun.” he mocks sarcastically, wiping his forehead.

She scoffs, “I didn’t take you for a whiner.” She mutters.

He smirks, “Sexually or just in general?”

“You’re hilarious.” She says breathlessly, placing her hands on her hips as she stands straight, trying to get some air into her lungs. He keeps walking as she looks at the distant view of the city.

“You need to stop princess?” Jaehyun calls from ahead.

She swallows, looking up at him and shakes her head with a grin, “Not a chance.” She assures, jogging to catch up with him.

He’s not in his suit for once. They’re both in workout gear, trainers and T-shirts and sweat all over their bodies but they’re both smiling at each other as they continue to hike up the sandy hill. “I have a question.” he breathes heavily.

She keeps walking, “Okay.”

He takes a gulp of water, “Why are you off gallivanting the world with no specific purpose?”

“I have a purpose.” She points out nonchalantly.

“Care to share?” he asks curiously.

She shrugs, “I want to gallivant the world.”

He nods, “That’s a good argument.” He points out, almost impressed.

But he’s got this tone to his voice that makes her eyes narrow, “But you don’t believe me.” She states, wiping the sweat from her forehead again.

He smirks, “I don’t even think you believe you.”

She shrugs and keeps walking, “Okay, what do you think my purpose for doing all of this is?” she asks tiredly.

He follows after her, still sweating from everywhere, “I have one theory.” He states.

“Only one?” She replies, raising an eyebrow.

He sighs disappointingly, “Yes sorry, only one.”

She smiles softly, “Let’s hear it.” She orders.

He stops, taking a deep breath and placing his hands on his hips. He pants through his words and she stops next to him. “I think you’re running away from something.”

He waits for a reaction that never comes, she just keeps panting, stays silent and tries to regain her breath. She swallows, hands on her knees and shakes her head, “Aren’t we all?” She responds, standing upright and staring at him. “And that’s not a very original theory, I seem to remember using it myself.” She reminds.

He cocks his head, “And now you’re deflecting.”

She smirks, “Well aren’t you a smart one.” She says sarcastically with no tone of anger in her voice which tells him she’s not upset he’s starting to figure her out, maybe because she doesn’t think he’ll get very far.

“I think you don’t want to be queen, or princess even.” He adds, “I think this is your way of experiencing life outside of that.”

She almost rolls her eyes, “A child could have diagnosed that.” she starts to walk up the hill again, lugging her body up the steep slope.

He raises an eyebrow, “Diagnosed?” He calls after her.

“Yeah” she calls back, “It’s called the grass is always greener on the other side or um… wanting what you can’t have?” but there’s a hint of bitterness to her voice and he knows she’s annoyed.

“And what you want is a normal life.” He states.

She narrows her eyes and stops walking, her hands on her hips. She takes a deep breath and sighs. She hesitates telling him, she’s not the kind to complain but she feels like he needs to understand her. She swallows, “You’ve seen my life; the glitz and glam and everything that goes on behind it. I was never in line for the throne so for a while, I knew what it was like to have none of that. I went to school, I was a bartender i…” She pauses, her eyebrows furrowed like she really needs an honest answer. “I never wanted to be princess, and then suddenly my uncle dies and my mum becomes… I’m thrown into this limelight, I had no choice in that!” She says louder, like she’s getting riled up, “I thought I could get used to it, if I pretend enough it’ll become reality right?” She takes a breath, looking away from him and watching the birds fly over the distant cliffs, “But I know this isn’t where I’m supposed to be.” she mutters.

He cocks his head, “You’re thinking about this the wrong way.” He points out, moving to stand closer to her. “We’re in the 21st century, you can be anything you want. You can be princess and have a job, you can go to school and rule a country. The possibilities are limitless! You could buy your own bar and work for yourself.” He pauses, “People look up to you princess. Show them what you got.”

She smiles softly, feeling uplifted into a new realm of thought. But she doesn’t tell him, only shoves him away with a giggle and takes off running towards the summit of the cliff- “Last one there’s a rotten egg!” she cries behind her.

Jae smiles softly and shakes his head, this girl.

Her: 2

Jaehyun: 1

(She beats him, she thinks that deserves a point no matter what)

part: one | two

Teru (& some TeruMob) meta

Warning: contains some fandom salt, oops.

Fandom opinion from what I have gathered so far tends to either characterize Teru as this pure boy who has a crush on or lives for the attention of Mob and gets nervous and anxious over it like a shoujo heroine, OR this somewhat edgy yandere that fucks a girl every week and would probably choke and abuse Mob or something… and I fucking cringe.

Both are so wrong I don’t even know where to begin and I know both characterizations are passive aggressive wars between “antis” and “nasties” but lol, that’s something I am not coming within a 20 ft pole of and I can’t stand when ppl warp characterization to piss off the other parts of a fandom instead of reading carefully with canon… but I digress.

I think what’s jarring and easily misinterpreted is Teru’s change of behavior following his battle with Mob.

There was a great Tumblr post awhile back (which seems to have been deleted, argh) that hypothesized that Teru’s change in personality is an example of altruistic surrender.

Altruistic surrender refers to an ego-defence mechanism postulated by Anna Freud by which a person internalizes the values of another person and lives his or her life in accordance with those values.

I never took a psych class so I’m not going to delve into this further but this makes a lot of sense, since Teru’s previous identity and system of values took such a huge collapse that it’s impossible for him to formulate and rebuild it quickly, so he latches onto and internalizes Mob’s values, which does ultimately change him for the better and is a powerful driving force in him learning to reform his own personality, but does clash with his inherent personality traits to an extent.

Teru says during his battle with Mob that “people can’t change that easily” and that point is simultaneously right and wrong regarding himself. On the surface, it seems like he’s suddenly changed, but that’s because his entire world has been uprooted to the point he can’t return to it so he’s substituting believing in (and thus admiring) Mob until he figures himself out again.

However, for a person with stubborn pride like Teru, when that pride is shattered it doesn’t smooth out immediately, but impales the person on its pieces. You definitely see flashes of those gaping wounds post-defeat - an example being when he intimidates Ritsu, which I believe was both genuine advice and a way to vent frustration with his own former self.

In the manga, you see that Teru gets addicted to developing and refining his psychic power and learning multiple techniques. Sure, it’s probably because it’s useful if he and Mob ever have to fight a shady organization again (and they do), but on some level he’s still trying to surpass Mob in some way. He’s not demanding Mob acquiesce to his values like he did initially, but he’s trying to prove, perhaps both to Mob and himself that he’s an equal - since he can’t match Mob in overwhelming power reserves, he makes up for it in versatility. And from my point of view he seems to be always, on some subconscious level, trying to figure out why he wants to prove himself to Mob - as a friend? A rival? Maybe both? Why? Does he simply want peace of mind by proving that point? Or does he want to ‘repay’ Mob for ‘saving’ him? Shrugs, we can never know exactly but those are both possible.

It’s interesting that Teru’s catchphrase is “I am an ordinary person” and it seems like something he both accepts and fights at the same time. He accepts it in that he’s gotten through to his head that psychic powers don’t make him a better person inherently, they’re just another talent, etc. He fights it because he simply has too much ambition to sit quietly and not be outstanding in some way (“through effort, I have become an exception”).

Unlike Mob, he doesn’t easily accept being ‘nothing’ and having ‘no presence’ - he doesn’t quite have the strength of heart to embrace that ideal without looking back. But I do feel like this time the way he deals with it is healthier because he wants to stand out for genuine hard-earned achievement, not arbitrary factors he was born into.

Now, I’ll address the characterization in most TeruMob fics of Teru as the “nervous blushing shoujo heroine” and WHY I think people make that mistake a lot of times when writing fluff. Those writers aren’t 100% utterly WRONG in reading how Teru would act towards Mob in a romantic fanon context but they oversimplify his internal thought processes and fixate too much on the tropey outwards actions.

Teru has never had a real friend before Mob because his previous “friendships” were for status and ego boosts. Mob saw through that facade while everybody else bought into it.

There’s a lot that could give him anxiety re: forming his first friendship because it’s new and difficult and he’s learning as he goes along without being able to skip any steps, and also because Mob is particularly difficult to read as is. Teru and Mob, in the earlier stages of their friendship (outside of the necessary temporary alliance in the Claw infiltration arc) would probably be very awkward as both of them can easily be concerned with what could go wrong.

Mob is bad at reading the atmosphere, and Teru is not the greatest at genuine communication without putting up a front, so you can imagine how that goes.

Now if we’re going the route of implying Teru having romantic feelings for Mob, that complicates things further. Teru’s dated girls for show but when it comes to somebody he genuinely likes… given the way he’s handled facing his own emotional problems thus far I’m inclined to think he’d be in denial. While Mob’s clinical, pathological compartmentalization of his emotions made him a literal time bomb of sorts, Teru is more of the “self-aware but actively avoiding” type is my interpretation. And frankly speaking, there’s a lot that could go wrong should he get into a relationship with somebody he has genuine feelings for because he has too much to unpack about himself. His admiration of Mob in general would prompt him to also keep those feelings under wraps because the friendship is already an intricate maze to navigate.

Again, everything I’ve just explained is probably where TeruMob fic writers are coming from but they tend to gloss over or skip depicting these parts and thus end up with a hollow shell of what could have been. Also, for anime-only watchers, it’s easy to not get a good grasp on Teru (because you miss out on his technique-developing obsession and what that implies) I feel.

Imagine sneaking off with Chris.

You sat at a table sipping cocktails and gossiping with Scarlett, Hayley, and Cobie while Chris, drank beer on the other side of the room with Robert, Sebastian, and Mark. The two of you were in attendance of a MCU office party; Kevin’s way of letting his cast and crew let loose and have fun before he dropped the hammer on all of you with Infinity War. The calm before the storm, as Chris put it.

Speaking of Chris, he was subtly watching you over his beer. He’d been trying to get your attention for the past fifteen minutes so he could get you to sneak off with him, but you were yet to look over. He wanted some time alone with his best friend on the roof; the usual spot the two of you would go to at every office party after an hour of mingling. The more time he spent with you, the more he grew tired of being just friends. He’d always kept that to himself because the last thing he wanted was to screw things up, but seeing you in that white lace dress, smiling and laughing like an angel- he couldn’t hold back his feelings anymore.

The two of you’d been friends for almost seven years now; you’d met Chris while on the set of ‘The Losers’ and immediately hit it off. You quickly became best friends, and though there was a slight attraction between the two of you- nothing ever happened because you were both in relationships at the time. Even after you both became available, there was a mutual agreement that the friendship was too important to screw up, so again- nothing happened despite how badly both of you wanted something to. Something almost happened at the premiere of 'The Winter Soldier’, and again at the 'Avengers: Age of Ultron’ viewing party. The 'will they, won’t they?’ eventually reached a point where your friends, families, and co-workers felt the need to start a pool.

“You know you can just walk over there, right?” Sebastian reminded Chris when he noticed him staring at you. Chris quickly darted his gaze away, feigning innocence; the three men in his company chuckled. “You know we all know you like her, right?”

“Well, she is one of my best friends,” Chris retorted, running a hand over his hair; a nervous tick. Sebastian, Robert, and Mark shot him a weary gaze and he sighed, “what? We’re good as friends, we’ve established that.”

“You’ve been staring at her with heart eyes for the past fifteen minutes,” Robert chuckled. “There is no way you’re fine with just being her friend.” Chris made no effort to respond, he just sipped at his beer. “She likes you too, you know.” He said and Chris choked on his beer. “She’s just afraid of losing you as a friend if things don’t work out.”

“But it’s obvious that’s not going to happen,” Mark continued, “so just go and make your move. The two of you would be so good together, you’d be like Hollywood’s new power couple.” Chris chuckled softly at that, blushing at the thought of being with you. “Go, Chris,” he urged.

“Go,” Sebastian and Robert agreed.

“If you won’t,” Sebastian joked, “I will.”

“Fine,” Chris chuckled and downed his beer. “Wish me luck.”

You caught Chris’ gaze before he reached you, he beckoned his head in the direction of you roof and you nodded, smiling. He walked off in that direction, grabbing his coat on his way up; you excused yourself from your table and did the same. Scarlett, Hayley, and Cobie squealed when they saw looked over to Sebastian, Robert, and Mark who were winking and giving them thumbs up from the bar. Perhaps tonight was the night they could finally end the pool and give the world the couple they wanted; Chris Evans and Y/N Y/L/N.

“Aw man,” Chris groaned, pretending to be annoyed when he saw you.

“What?” You chuckled; confusion contorted in your expression.

“You were meant to come up without a coat so I could give you mine,” he said then laughed when you did. “As always, you’re your own hero.” He teased and you rolled your eyes, playfully shoving him when you reached his side.

“You’re such an idiot sometimes,” you chuckled softly.

“You still love me, so- whatever works, right?” He smiled when you did.

There was a short moment of silence that gave Chris the opportunity he needed to talk to you about becoming something more and to confess his love for you, but before he could push past his nerves and start- you spoke.

“There’s a reason you brought me up here, isn’t there?” You asked him, turning away from the city’s beautiful skyline to meet Chris’ as beautiful blue eyes. “This isn’t one of our usual hang-out-and-escape-from-the-crowd rendezvous?”

His immediate reaction was to back out so he didn’t screw up what he had with you, but when he paused and watched you intently- he realized he couldn’t play it safe anymore. He wanted- no, he needed to be with you. He was done fantasizing about the life he could have with you, he wanted to make it happen. He wanted to marry you and buy a house with you and have children with you; you were his one and he’d known that for a while now. It was time he stopped stalling and started doing even if it meant leaping out of his comfort zone.

“No, it’s not,” he shook his head. “I brought you up here to tell you I love you and I can’t just be friends with you anymore.” You felt your heart skip a beat at that confession. “I don’t know why or how nothing’s happened between us yet considering there were so many moments where something almost did. I don’t know what’s holding us back, but I’m done letting it. I’m putting all my cards on the table, I’m all in. I want to be with you,” he said, taking your hands in his.

“I want to be with you too,” you smiled, squeezing his hands. “I’ve wanted to be with you for so long now, I just-” He cut you off, pulling you into his arms and pressing his lips against yours. The two of you’d kissed before because of your roles, but it was nothing like this kiss; this kiss took both your breaths away. “Wow,” you breathed when he broke it, pressing his forehead against yours.

“Wow is right,” he chuckled softly, rubbing gentle circles into your sides. “Why have we never kissed like that on-screen before?” He quizzed and you laughed. “It would’ve definitely sped things up for us romantically, and- professionally? Think of all the awards we could’ve won for best on-screen kiss.”

“Shut up and just kiss me.” You lifted your head, reaching to meet his lips but he pulled back before they could touch. “What are you doing?” You chuckled softly, narrowing your eyes at his deeply flushed cheeks. “What are you looking at?” You turned to follow his gaze which was locked on something behind you; heat rushed to your cheeks and your jaw dropped at the sight of your cast members.

“Finally!” They all cheered.

“Oh God,” you buried your face into Chris’ chest, which was quivering with laughter.

“Yeah,” Chris pressed a kiss to the top of your head, “we’re never going to hear the end of this.”