Characters: Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester, Y/N Singer, Castiel (mentioned), Mary Winchester (mentioned), Jack Kline (mentioned), Crowley (mentioned)
Pairing: Dean x Reader
Warnings: S13.03 spoilers.
Word Count: 2200ish
A/N: I did not have time to write this but seeing how I feel so many people are once again misunderstanding Dean I felt the need too.
It is also inspired by the Ed Sheeran song Save Myself.
Thanks to the sweet amazing @docharleythegeekqueen for betaing this one for me :D
***My fics are not to be saved nor posted on any other sites without my express written permission.***
You took a deep breath, hiding away in the kitchen. You hated watching the brothers fight but once in awhile that was how they dealt with things. Or actually this fight was because they dealt with things very differently. Dean needed to push through and he more often than not needed a break from everyone around him, especially from people telling him how he was behaving wrong in those moments.
You got that. You loved him, but that wasn’t the only reason. You were the same in a lot of ways. Where as Sam was rational and composed, trying to figure a way through everything. Using his brain to distract himself, you and Dean were both very emotional. When you had lost your dad, you had run away from everyone and everything. You hated yourself for that now, because Dean had lost him too. See there was were you differed from Dean. He never ever allowed himself to be selfish. He always stayed by the people he loved. He never once left you or Sam, no matter how badly he was hurting himself. Even the few times he had walked away he had allowed himself to get dragged back in before he was ready to face the people he loved again. Dean was selfless, but this time you wanted him to be selfish.
He wasn’t. He was still here. He was still doing things Sam’s way even if he didn’t agree. Yet his brother kept pushing him while you kept your distance. You weren’t sure you were doing the right thing either. Maybe you needed to push him. Let him know that you were here for him, but a small part of you knew that you didn’t have to do that. Even if you gave Dean his space and you had gone back to sleeping in your own room every night, you gave him the chance to stop you every night. You silently communicated that you were there for him whenever he had room for you again. Right now Dean was grieving the loss of Crowley. The loss of his mom he had just learned to forgive. The loss of his best friend, who had been a true constant in his life for year, who had become like a brother to him as much as Sam was.