afterwork drinks

I realise avocados are moderately expensive and we’ve all got to eventually buy a house apparently for some fucking reason but there are other brunch options besides Bunnings and your homemade tribute of wedges, ham, tomato sauce, grated cheese and wonder white (the foundation sustenance for little boys who grow up to be big babies).  Fried pre sliced ham, what’s the matter pussy - bacon too gnarly? Does the sizzling fat spit off the frying pan onto your disgusting body whilst you cook it naked and alone? What Bunnings do you go to anyway? The fine people at Bunnings don’t serve wedges so the subtext of this alternate conception doesn’t make any sense - it’s like pashing your Mum because your girlfriend is at work - the Bunnings experience is neither comparable nor replaceable. The only time wedges are appropriate are at awful afterwork drinks at foul inner city bars with horrible workmates you hate from the depths of your empty heart, devoid of all passion and purpose, your wandering thoughts punctuating the dull thump of happy hour Heineken elations like a watercolour begun, the distant laughter an escape from the omnipresent boundaries inherent to the crushed frame of neoliberal optimism, detachment the only escape - sunrise, sunset; sour cream, sweet chili.  Why are you even cooking this of all things you fucking soft cock for happiness and purpose? You have the world at your fingertips; you have literally all the required resources to do absolutely anything you want in life, to make anything your heart desires and you choose this? Holy shit; just google “meal for myself” - if you’re broke add “without pine nuts” at the end; it’s that easy. Our parents could get away with dud dishes - they were stuck with Women’s Day as fuck apricot chicken and hand me down casseroles from racist grandparents, but you’ve got the ENTIRE back catalogue of all of human culinary history on a screen in your pocket and yet you use that same device to broadcast your fucking mediocrity to the world??? That’s just fucking insulting, are you a masochist for failure?? It’s just a fucking echo chamber of DRIVEL for you people isn’t it? Womb to the grave, tick tock 24/7 bullshit hour on repeat. DON’T KEEP DOING THE SAME DEPRESSING SHIT OVER AND OVER AGAIN you fucking IDIOT this is why you are MISERABLE because you KEEP DOING THE SAME FUCKING THING OVER AND OVER AGAIN because you are AFRAID OF CHANGE. STOP BEING such a fucking COWARD, throw this HORSESHIT in the bin and SORT YOUR FUCKING LIFE OUT


City Watch Officers making elaborate codes about where to meet tonight.


City Watch Officers getting caught out by sympathetic, like minded Overseers.


City Watch Officers concerned about their fellow’s career opportunities.


City Watch Officers bonding over the Young Prince of Tyvia


City Watch Officers disguising their affection for a fellow officer in grudging, resigned comments about working with them again.


Contrary to popular belief, Deputy Jones loved a good party. A party hosted by the Northside Rascals might not have seemed like an obvious destination for her, but given that many in their ranks happened to be her friends—among them the second-in-command—she almost felt more at home in a condemned building with them than she did at the afterwork drinks with the rest of the Sheriff’s Office.

Having done her due diligence with the rounds, Clara wished her current companion a good evening and bid them farewell, grabbing her almost empty drink and beginning her search for the lady of the hour herself. Thankfully, while Eva stood out in most places on a normal day, her pastel pink outfit certainly made her even easier to spot in the crowd. “Hey, I need a new drink,” she greeted, demonstratively finishing off the one in her hand. “Or more like ten, probably. You coming?”


Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn says that men having after-work drinks is discrimination to women.

This is why I will never vote for him.

Firstly, if my man is the main provider, which they are in a lot of families, who the fuck am I to complain that after a hard days work he wants to chill with his friends? Would Corbyn suggest a ban on afterwork drinks for breadwinner women because of apparent discrimination against men? Everyone deserves to be able to just relax after work, regardless of gender.

He thinks he is a man of the people, but he knows nothing. Working men’s clubs are part of working class culture for a century, and I doubt any working class women have actually been consulted about this. He is most likely just assuming that they don’t like their partners being able to relax after work. This is why W C are drifting to UKIP who used to have little support, and even the Conservatives who are traditionally for the upper classes, because they don’t interfere with private life. UKIP understands the needs of working people, and the Conservatives prove gender equality by having a female leader. They don’t just give working class people and women lip-service.

Corbyn, as a woman I will never vote for you, I hate being pandered to. Where is the men’s manifesto? Give me equality not special treatment.

As someone who hopes to have children, I will never vote for you because I want your party to stay the hell out of my private life and family roles. My partner and I decide how childrearing will be split - not you.

As someone who is in a relationship with a man, I will never vote for you because who the hell are you to decide how my man spends his spare time? Who are you to say he is discriminating against me?