Alright here we go I just asked @anarchetypal about this because I am on a Spree™ but I need your take on shithead Ryan. I'm pretty sure you've done this before but I've read all of your everything and I need m o r e
Not sure if you meant just generally or you actually wanted something specific but here we go~
Listen, any one of the Fakes would tell you Ryan’s mask is less about hiding his identity than it is about hiding the fact that he is nearly always laughing. It didn’t take him long to realise that with his reputation literally anything he does will be interpreted as threatening and even the most innocuous activities are treated as utterly unnerving. If people knew just how often Ryan was flat out messing with them there wouldn’t be nearly so many desperately worried discussions trying to unravel what depravity the Vagabond is getting up to with a bucket of paint and a dust-buster.
While most of the others find accompanying Gavin as the muscle in a meeting somewhat monotonous and dry (there are exceptions of course, the contacts that Gavin plays ridiculous roles for, or the meetings that go south and kick off, but for the most part its a bit of posturing and trying not to tune out while Gavin does his thing) Ryan always has a ball. Ryan is just about the only Fake who could give Gavin a run for his money in regards to a flare for the unnecessarily dramatic, so when the two of them head off together they invariably go well and truely overboard. Whoever the pair meet with, no matter how well they’ve done their job or how many positive interactions they’ve previously had with Gavin alone will spend the entirety of their meeting tracking Ryan’s movements around the room, absolutely sure they’re about to die.
After watching a few too many episodes of Brooklyn Nine-nine Ryan picks up the habit of making the occasional outrageously out of character confession just to watch people squirm with the realisation that no one will ever believe them if they tell. After all the unspeakable horrors Los Santos has witnessed from the Vagabond none are prepared to entertain for a single moment the possibility that he might also enjoy the Spice Girls, cry in Disney movies or hula-hoop at a competitive level.
Any time the Fake’s accept a new member Ryan tends to silently shadow them everywhere they go for a couple of weeks in full Vagabond get up. Everyone assumes, quite reasonably and with no small amount of blind terror, that the Vagabond is protective, distrustful, and all too eagerly awaiting the chance to kill them off at the first sign of a slip up. In reality Ryan knows just how vetted anyone has to be before Geoff will let them into the family, and just really enjoys toying with their emotions while he can.
There’s a narrow window towards the back of the LSPD bullpen - a little unorthodox but the glass is thick and one-way tinted so security isn’t really a problem. What is a problem is the fact that every now and then a member of the force will swear up and down that they saw the Vagabond’s awful skull standing there leering at them through the glass.
Ryan found out, through pure accident, that leaving his mask balanced atop of his hanging jacket is a surefire way to terrify Geoff in the middle of the night. Before it really sinks in he is woken on three seperate occasions by that all-too distinctive shriek; the first incident had the whole crew running guns drawn, the second was met with endless mockery and by the third Ryan just lays in bed, listening to the others thundering into the hallway, and grins. From that point on Ryan just gets more creative about where he leaves his spectre self; the bathroom, the pantry, and on one memorable occasion, suspended right outside Geoff’s door.
Warnings: fluffy, steamy, Jensen being fake moody (yea, it’s a warning), suggestive smutty stuff, language
Word Count: 1.4k
A/N: 6k Celebration and One Year Fic-i-verary Celebration Fic ELEVEN. The line requested was, “I’m just a regular boy who goofs around, pulls pranks, and makes jokes.” It was requested by @starswirlblitz . It will be highlighted in the fic. Thank you so much for celebrating with me. I am combining it with two gifs submitted by @torn-and-frayed. Hope you like it! This one was fun to write. I don’t usually write Jensen like this, but we all know he can get a little moody sometimes. It’s hot as fuck.
Spoilers. 10/10 recommend. Also there’s a huge spoiler at the end end of the book. *evil cackles* Seriously. Read it. REEEEAD IT. NOW FOR YOUR VIEWING PLEASURE::
- Perhaps when my task here was done, I’d burn this manor to the ground, too. Starting with those roses.
- But it was the vines—the thorns—that had made it unlivable. My old bedroom had been overrun with them. They’d curved and slithered over the walls, entwined themselves amongst the debris. As if they’d crawled off the trellises beneath my windows, as if a hundred years had passed and not months.
- To see Ianthe. And at last decide how I was going to shred her into pieces.
- Healing. Alive and healing. I reminded myself of that every day. Even when I still heard their screams, smelled their blood.
- That was my first step: make Tamlin believe, truly believe, that I loved him and this place, and everyone in it. So that he would not suspect when I turned them on each other.
- Not to demand the whereabouts of the two sets of wings his father had kept as trophies after he’d butchered Rhysand’s mother and sister.
- I let my glow spread, until it, too, rippled from Lucien’s bowed form. A knight before his queen.
- I was the nightmare. Preying on what Tamlin had feared from my very first days here. I had not forgotten that long-ago fight he’d picked with Lucien. The warning he’d given him to stop flirting with me. To stay away. The fear that I’d preferred the red-haired lord over him
- “What have you done,” Lucien breathed, and Tamlin’s face was the picture of devastation as Lucien shoved him aside.
- And if I could have painted that moment, I would have named it A Portrait in Snares and Baiting.
- Alis squeezed my hand. “Blood rubies or no, you will always have one friend in the Summer Court.” My throat bobbed. “And you will always have one in mine,” I promised her. She knew which court I meant. And did not look afraid.
- “I’m going with you,” he said again, face splattered with blood as bright as his hair. “I’m getting my mate back.” There was no time for this argument. For the truth and debate and the answers I saw he desperately wanted. Tamlin and the others would have heard the shouting by now. “Don’t make me regret this,” I told him.
- Cassian had taught me to always have a second escape route. Always.
- “But I think letting his court collapse around him is a better punishment. Certainly longer than an easy death.”
- “Tell me about her—about Elain,” Lucien said quietly.
- Closer and closer to the shore, to the awaiting party of sentries that winnowed in out of nowhere. No, no, no—A shadow slammed into the earth before us, cracking the ice toward every horizon. Not a shadow. An Illyrian warrior.
- “There’s no such thing as a High Lady,” one of Lucien’s brothers spat. A faint smile played on my mouth. “There is now.” And it was time for the world to know it.
- And as those violet eyes met mine, as that familiar half smile faded … My face crumpled. A small, broken noise cracked from me. Rhys was instantly moving, but my legs had already given out. The foyer carpet cushioned the impact as I sank to my knees. I covered my face with my hands while the past month crashed into me. Rhys knelt before me, knee to knee.
- Lucien said nothing while Rhys spoke. Or when I continued with my tale, Cassian often chiming in with his own account of how it’d been to live with two mated-yet-un-mated people, to pretend Rhys wasn’t courting me, to welcome me into their little circle.
- “And you love him. And he—he truly does love you.” Lucien dragged a hand through his red hair. “And all these people I have spent my centuries hating, even fearing … They are your family.” “I think Amren would probably deny that she feels any affection for us—” “Amren is a bedtime story they told us as younglings to make us behave. Amren was who would drink my blood and carry me to hell if I acted out of line. And yet there she was, acting more like a cranky old aunt than anything.”
- “I hadn’t realized I was a villain in your narrative,” Lucien breathed.
- “As far as I can recall, Cassian,” Rhys countered drily, “you actually said you needed a reprieve from staring at our ugly faces, and that some ladies would add some much-needed prettiness for you to look at all day.” “Pig,” Amren said.
- “I’ll never forget it, you know,” he said, blowing out a breath. “The moment when he spoke to us all, mind to mind. When I realized what was happening, and that … he’d saved us. Trapped us here and tied our hands, but …”
- “Why should I be scared of an oversized bat who likes to throw temper tantrums?”
- Again, that dry, quiet smile. “Why do you think Illyrians are so fit?” “Why did no one warn me about this cocky side of yours?” Azriel’s mouth twitched upward.
- “Nesta,” the Bone Carver murmured. “Nes-ta.” I squeezed Cassian’s hand. Enough. It was enough of this teasing and taunting. But he didn’t look at me. “How the wind moans her name. Can you hear it, too? Nesta. Nesta. Nesta.” I wasn’t sure Cassian was breathing.
- But Rhys rubbed his jaw, weighing, thinking. Then he said simply, “Only Nesta would not just conquer Death—but pillage it.”
- They outright gasped as Rhys simply perched on the arm of the throne, smirked at me, and said to the Court of Nightmares, “Bow.” For they had not. And with me seated on that throne … Their faces were still a mixture of shock and disdain as they all dropped to their knees.
- Cassian was halfway to Mor when she whirled on Rhys and said, “Why?” Her voice broke. And something in my chest cracked, too, at the tears that began running down her face.
- Cassian casually slid Nesta behind him, his fingers snagging in the skirts of her black gown. As if to reassure himself that she wasn’t in Amren’s direct path. Nesta only rose onto her toes to peer over his shoulder.
- Elain was staring at the spymaster now—unblinkingly. “We’re the ones who need …” Azriel trailed off. “A seer,” he said, more to himself than us. “The Cauldron made you a seer.”
- I caught Cassian glancing at me for the third time in less than a minute and demanded, “What?” His lips twitched at the corners. “You just look so …” “Here we go,” Mor muttered from where she picked at her red-tinted nails against the stair banister.
- “Welcome to the court,” he said to her. “You’re about to have one hell of a first day.” And to my eternal shock, a smile tugged at Nesta’s mouth.
- as Kallias opened his mouth—And then my friend squealed. Squealed. Both females hurtled for each other, and Mor’s squeal had turned to a quiet sob as she flung her arms around the slender stranger and hugged her tight. The female’s own arms were shaking as she gripped Mor.
- VIVIANE IS BADASS
- “She is Fae.” “No shit,” Viviane muttered under her breath, and Mor’s snort was cut off as Kallias raised his brows at them. Helion ignored them.
- “I rescind the blood rubies. Let there be no debts between us.” “Don’t expect Amren to return hers,” Cassian muttered. “She’s grown attached to it.” I could have sworn a smile tugged on Varian’s mouth.
- But Viviane nodded, chin high, and rose. “I will fight with you.” Cresseida stood a heartbeat later. “As will I.” Both of them looked to the males in their court. Tarquin and Kallias rose. Then Helion, smirking at me and Rhys. And finally Thesan—
- I let my gaze dart through the room, half paying attention to Helion’s musing on the wall and how to repair it, then dared study the High Lord for a heartbeat. Look at him. The nose is the same, the smile. The voice. Even Lucien’s skin is darker than his brothers’.
- Nesta was watching me carefully. I admitted to her, “Sometimes … I have problems with small spaces.” “I can’t get into a bathtub anymore. I have to use buckets.” I hadn’t known—hadn’t even thought that bathing, submerging in water…“ Nesta said.
- Nesta stepped forward. Then another step. And another. Until she was in front of Graysen, faster than anyone could see. Until Nesta smacked him hard enough that his head snapped to the side. “You never deserved her,” Nesta snarled into the stunned silence as Graysen cupped his face and swore, bending over. Nesta only looked back at me.
- Run, the Suriel mouthed once more, blood dribbling past its withered lips. That was pain in its eyes. Real pain, as mortal as any creature. And if Ianthe took it alive to Hybern … The Suriel knew it was a possibility. It had begged me for freedom once … yet it was willing to be taken. For me to run. Its milky eyes narrowed—in pain and understanding. Yes, it seemed to say. Go.
- Amren found me within twenty steps, a wrapped bundle in her arms. “Every time you lot leave me at home, someone manages to get gutted.”
- Amren and Varian didn’t even bother to join us. No, she’d just wrapped her legs around his waist, right there in front of us, and he’d stood, lifting her in one swift movement. I wasn’t entirely sure how Varian managed to walk them out of the tent while still kissing her, Amren’s hands dragging through his hair, letting out noises that were unnervingly like purring as they vanished into the camp.
- “I CAN’T love him like that.” “Why?” “Because I prefer females.”
- “What?” she asked, coming to my side. “I was just thinking,” I said, smile growing, “that whenever you’re ready … I was thinking about how much fun I’m going to have playing matchmaker for you.”
- And then Nesta began screaming. Not in pain. But a name. Over and over. “CASSIAN.” Amren reached for her, but Nesta roared, “CASSIAN!” She scrambled to her feet, as if she’d leap into the skies.
- “He named his three personal ships after them,” Drakon said with a smile. And there, sailing at the front … I beheld the names of those ships. The Feyre. The Elain. And leading the charge against Hybern, flying over the waves, unyielding and without an ounce of fear … The Nesta. With my father … our father at the helm.
- The talons came first. Replacing fingers and feet. Then dark scales or perhaps feathers, I couldn’t get a look at them, covered his legs, his arms, his chest. His body contorted, bones and muscles growing and shifting. The beast form Rhys had kept hidden. Never liked to unleash.
- threw herself to her knees before Cassian. “Get up,” she sobbed, hauling at his shoulder. “Get up.” He tried—and failed. “You’re too heavy,” she pleaded, but still tried to raise him, fingers scrabbling in his black, bloodied armor. “I can’t—he’s coming—”
- Nesta didn’t stop him as he leaned up and kissed her—lightly. As much as he could manage. Cassian said softly, brushing away the tear that streaked down her face, “I will find you again in the next world—the next life. And we will have that time. I promise.”
- “Don’t you touch my sister.”
- Rhys’s face was battered—bloody. His hands were still tipped in talons, his canines still elongated. Barely out of that beast form. “You—you freed her—” He was stammering. Shaking. I wasn’t entirely sure how he was even standing.
- It took me a moment to grasp it. What I saw. Rhys was sprawled on the rocky ground, wings draped behind him. He looked like he was sleeping. But as I breathed in—It wasn’t there. That thing that rose and fell with each breath. That echoed each heartbeat. The mating bond. It wasn’t there. It was gone. Because his own chest … it was not moving. And Rhys was dead.
- “Be happy, Feyre.” Tamlin said quietly.
- “Someone fish out dear Amren before she catches a cold.”
- “Hasn’t anyone told you? You’re disgustingly rich.” “Just because I have money doesn’t mean I need to spend it.” He squeezed my knee. “Good. We need someone with a head for money around here. I’ve been bleeding out gold left and right thanks to our Court of Dreams taking advantage of my ridiculous generosity.”
- A gift. All of it.
- There are more tales to be told in the land of Prythian … THE SERIES WILL CONTINUE IN 2018
We have been recently asked about the reason behind a particular event that made headlines in the One Direction fandom. We did our research and made a shocking discovery, and we’re now finally ready to introduce you to the reason behind Simon Cowell’s pec implant leak: He is a cow.
You will have to sit down for this one. We did too.
If you’re not familiar with Simon Cowell (or affectionally, Satan), he is a music mogul and producer of a couple (failing) TV shows, and is known for being part of the team forming the biggest boyband in the universe, One Direction. Common to his selfish and evil personality, he has for years taken entire credits for the band’s success, literally milking money out them until the year 2016.
The Devil himself, not even a flashy smile can hide the horrifying burning flames in his eyes
For many years, the way he was handling the band (and pretty much anyone surrounding him, remember those contracts?) was perceived as simply satanic. Only someone with no humanity left in them could be as horrible as he is. And that’s what led us to believe that Simon Cowell is not, in fact, a human.
Since we know Simon has 0 ounce of originality in his bones, we realized that he couldn’t even come up with a reasonable last name, leading to exposing his true self. “Cowell”? More like Cowbell. Because he’s a cow. Moo moo bitch.
The resemblance here is shocking. They even go to the same hair salon.
Obviously, as we all know, Simon has recently given birth to a small pure child, bless his soul. And just like with any mother, breasts tend to grow and fill with milk after giving birth. So it’s with no surprise that we discovered that his “pec implants” didn’t leak, it was just milk pouring out of his cow titties.
Before and after photoshoping the pic to hide the embarrassing milk leak. Perhaps they should take classes at 1DUNSOLVED to learn how to edit pictures properly.
He had to hide the truth about his udder and came up with the pec implants story, which we think is far more ridiculous. Because, lets be real, those things are not pecs.
Hiding something Simoooooon?
Shocking, isn’t it? But also not so much, because now everything makes sense. The lack of humanity & originality, the damn haircut, the dead look he gives you after you butchered a song during an audition? Everything leads to him being a cow.
Unfortunately, we have tried to reach Simon’s rep but our hands got burned knocking on the doors to hell. So, the conspiracy of Simon Cowbell therefore remains
- Your movie debut was in the ‘Blomsterfangen’ where you played Jens Okking’s son. But the big breakthrough came with 'Pusher’ and then with the 'Rejseholdet ’ ('Unit One’), and you formed the figure that you started to associated with: a bit anarchist and choppy guy who can be a bit raw but also quite sensitive, the type you also continue a little in 'Flickering Lights’?
MADS: These roles are very different! 'Rejseholdet ’, like TV show, has to have a certain “round” edge. It should be seen by both the 90-year-old and the 7-year-old. I was a little hard at first because I used to be used to more radical projects. The movies does not have the same limitation. There I could play a completely different characters, one could say with a higher degree of stubbornness (laugh). You can find parallels in what I do, but I go from extremes like homosexual in 'Shake It All About’ to the root like 'Pusher’ movies. I always try to find something likable in the role, something that makes the role identifiable to me. You have always tried to put me in a frames. At first I was identified with the cruel guy in 'Pusher’, and you thought I could only make raw roles. After 'Shake It All About’ you thought that I could only play gay. And after 'The Green Butchers’ you thought that I should always play butchers (laughs). That’s why I’ve never relied on whether it fits or not - I’ve always relied only on whether I thought the role was interesting. Fortunately, the directors do not have a specific picture of me. I think that as an actor I have already played the whole spectrum. But there is always something new - always a new little edge on the spectrum, someone has something else they want to do it their project.
“I know it’s a DCOM, so it’s made to be cheesy, but Descendants reaches a
level to the point where I couldn’t take it after 20 minutes. They
completely butcher timeless characters (such as Jafar) and make these
whiny child actors their kids. The classics deserve better than this”
“Baby I love you, I never want to let you go. The more I think about the more I want to let you know that everything you do is super duper cute and I can’t stand it.”
Daniel is such a happy person and when you’re with him its impossible to have anything but a good time. Seeing him smile is always the highlight of your day. He is your little ray of sunshine and you love everything about him, especially the way he makes you feel.
Zach: Truly, Madly, Deeply-One Direction
“Truly, madly, deeply, I am foolishly completely falling and somehow you kicked all my walls in. So baby say you’ll always keep me truly, madly, crazy, deeply in love with you.”
It’s no secret that Zach, being the baby of the group, was a little inexperienced when it came to girls before you started dating. At first, he didn’t understand how you could want him and only him and the idea of you loving him just as much as he loved you seemed impossible to him. No matter what he may say, you are always there to reassure him that he is the one for you.
Jack: Can We Dance-The Vamps
“I know I don’t know you but I’d like to skip the small talk and romance, girl. That’s all I have to say so baby can we dance?”
Jack has always been a little cocky and its what drew you to him in the first place. When you first started talking, he was straight forward and flirty, instantly grabbing your attention. Once you were sure that there was a sweetheart buried underneath the attitude, you made your move.
Jonah: Weak When Ur Around-Blackbear
“Cause if I don’t have you then I got nobody at all. I’m so weak, baby. So weak when you’re around me.”
Jonah was always known as the smooth-talking ladies man to his fellow band mates. Until he met you that is…With red cheeks and a goofy grin, he’d stumble word after word, butchering event he shortest of sentences while internally screaming. Eventually you had to take initiative and as him out instead but you didn’t mind.
Corbyn: 400 Lux-Lorde
“You pick me up and take me home again. Head out the window again…
We’re never done with killing time. Can I kill it with you?”
You and Corbyn have been conjoined at the hip since you met. Your family moved around a lot and you never liked being the new girl but this time was different. The boy next door made it bearable. He introduced himself as your new neighbor and offered to show you around the neighborhood. Through all of the sneaking out and late night drives, it was impossible not to fall in love with him.
All Ages + Vampires (Vamps unmerged to prevent breakage of files. I’m still having trouble with the emission maps, despite blanking them out they still show up on all the eyes.Fix them if you can I supps)
Recoloured in Select Digital Angels Eye Colours
Two New MM-ish Scleras for both Vamps and The Normal eyes.
Heterochromia by @thatrayleen Supported (You will need their mesh. Shows up in Skindetails like the originals. I only did the original EA defaults, if you want them for Vamps or with the alien eyes, Feel free to ask)
Dance to Dust is a (Crappy) remake of Mouseyblue’s Dust Eyes. I wanted the originals, but after butchering them to hell in Photoshop, they just didn’t come out right, so I took to making new ones keeping some semblance of MM-ness in it. they look like hell, but I loved them enough. Replaces the GTW alien Eye only.
I have been very hesitant about the Ducktales reboot since it was announced. After seeing how badly CN butchered the PPG reboot and the amount of reboots coming out in the media, I was concerned that this would just be another soulless cashgrab. But dear God was I wrong.
The new Ducktales was AMAZING. The animation is so beautiful and energetic and it feels like a comic book in motion. The characters are all really fun and the cast does a fantastic job int heir roles. Characters like Webby got updated and they are so much better now because of it. Scrooge is especially perfect and was THE ultimate badass. The plot was really fun as well and the ending… OMG I jawdropped but I’m glad for the hint of a larger story incoming. Watching it just gave me the same feelings of excitement that I had as a little girl watching the old show. It made me laugh and broke my heart so many times, it was just… gosh it was PERFECT. This is how you do a reboot.
Overall, Ducktales is in very good hads and I can’t wait for the series to truly begin.