can people maybe stop confusing “can’t do the thing” with “doesn’t want to do the thing”
for example, if my doctor gives me something to do like attending an exercise class but I find that after a session or two that can’t handle it and that it has made my conditions worse or even that I just couldn’t manage attending on days when I had a bad flare. I would tell my doctor that I couldn’t physically do it but that doctor writes “didn’t want to do the exercise class” in my notes. That will go against me for years to come and other doctors will see me as someone who will refuse to try to help myself and won’t even bother offering other treatment options.
another example, if I’ve made plans or if I am asked to do something with family or friends and I have to cancel or turn them down because I physically can’t go out and do the thing, sometimes they’ll hear can’t as doesn’t want to. This means they will tell others “they didn’t want to come today” or “they wouldn’t want to do that because last time I asked they said they don’t like it/dont want to do it” then people will think that I just don’t want to do things with them, so they’ll stop inviting me out and I may even end up losing friends over the fact that they think I just don’t want to do things with them.
if I say I can’t do something because of my illnesses that doesn’t mean I don’t want to do the thing, more often than not I actually want to be able to the thing. sometimes it may be something I desperately want to do and was looking forward to doing but my body won’t allow it.
but for some reason people keep translating “can't” to “doesn’t want” and that can be really harmful to us disabled people.