after hours of working i did a thing

anonymous asked:

This is my first time finding out who you are after reading Rival but why did you all of a sudden just stop writing?

Hey there, Anon.

Well, the short story is that my project was shut down. I scrambled to find work, and when I did, that work became all-consuming. I was working way too many hours for way too little. I was depressed, and I didn’t feel like anything I wrote was good enough.

Fast forward about a year and a half. Things were getting horrible again, and I needed an outlet. I still don’t feel like anything I write is that great. I mean, I did a couple of little drabbles that I haven’t linked to my fiction masterpost, but none of that was significant.

Anyhow, I decided to try drawing. I haven’t really sat down to draw anything in a long time. I guess I figured I didn’t have anything to lose. Now that I’m on the hunt for a new job again (the studio I went to recently shut down… which is, given the situation, kind of a relief), the act of sitting down to draw something every day is giving me a little structure. 

I’d like to try writing again. I just need to get over… well, I guess I need to get over myself. I’m just in kind of a weird place with it all.

I suppose that’s not a very satisfying answer. Sorry. But I haven’t given up on it. I have, gosh… something like 5 large outlines, including one for the rest of Rival? I have an outline for a sequel to What One Needs and an outline for a sequel to On My Mind. I even have a few outlines for some goofy drabbles, like another Marco/Pony Head story and a quick Bob’s Burgers fic. 

Anyhow, thanks for writing! I appreciate it. :) 


Day 31 + 28 + 30 of Change

My dear, one quarter of the year is already over! Time flies!

Today is rest day, which is very good! My body hurts. Like every muscle is sore. The good thing is, that this showed me  that going to the gym (the non-gymnastics one) and doing workouts on those instruments of torture is NOT the same thing as going to gymnastics training. Doing gymnastics is more fun, yes, but it also trains your whole body, your mind, your spirit, just everything AT THE SAME TIME. You use different muscles in combination which you can’t activate in the non-gymnastics gym. My sore muscles are proof of that.

Anyways, I was back in the non-gymnastics gym yesterday after work. Did some weightlifting and some stretching for an hour and then went home bc I was hungry af. My boyfriend hadn’t cooked (which was totally ok) so I got kebab boxes for us. It was is last free day for this week and he had spent it with his mom. And now look at this: she made a lowcarb cheesecake for me!! Tbh, it’s not completly sugar free, there’s a tablespoon custard powder in it but it’s sooooo good. I definitely have to ask her for the recipe….and then for a new oven since ours is still broken (it does work, but the temperature sensor is broken so everything turns into a Stone coal after 10min).

I hope everyone has the best thursday ever! Two day till my traineeship is over. Wohoo!


This is probably sometime after 2002 after HP and the Chamber of Secrets video game was out. God I loved those first games so much when I was a kid! tbh I’d still play them if they worked on my laptop (and I actually did, the PoA game worked and I finished the whole thing in two days and it was the time of my life pls don’t judge me).

Inspired by my lovely @wisepizzaphantom suggestion which I interpreted in my own special way :D


8.2.17// library day at HU Nord. I did my readings for friday and I spent hours on  an email I have to send to my Prof.
I have to write a kind of abstract for my paper, since I’m not going again at the colloquium. I prefer to collect my thoughts and to write her than give an oral presentation of my topic. I’m kind of shy, especially in German, and I should write an abstract anyway.
It was a quite productive day after all, even though I had some problems with my eduroam connection (I hate that damned thing, at FU it works though!).

A list of things I will do for my med students as a resident that my residents have not done for me
  • check in with them when a patient dies to make sure they’re doing okay
  • write them comments on their evals, especially after spending 80 hours a week for a month with the same people
  • like literally any comments
  • at all
  • so that my MSPE won’t be practically empty
  • despite working my ass off all month with a smile on my face regardless of how miserable I was
I hovered over the delete button.

And I decided that I couldn’t get rid of this blog. I’ve had an incredibly horrid year and a half when it comes to steady work and securing a full time job. As a consequence, I felt like this blog and all the things I do, Blackout included, were giving tangible, long lasting benefits to everyone but me. I’m waaaay over my head in bills and exhausted emotionally a lot of the time. I wasn’t even feeling like anything I did mattered since I found myself putting in so many hours of work in so many facets of my life with very little to show for it. I’m searching for some sort of stability after facing multiple hurdles and I just…idk.

I can’t delete though. Haven’t even reached 20k yet. This blog will run on a queue for a few more days while I’m gone.

Gonna be honest, I contemplated not working out for about 2 hours. I’ve had a killer headache all day (Tylenol, why you no work?! 😡), work is super stressful, and I did not get enough sleep last night (what else is new? 😬🙈) Add all of this and I’m mentally and physically exhausted 😓 when I was walking my dog after work, I slipped on some ice and almost fell. The first thing that popped in my head was “if I fall right now, I would lay there for a good 5 mins before even thinking about if I could force myself to get back up” 😒
While I still have a headache and I’m completely exhausted, I am glad that I did haul my ass downstairs and workout (Total Body Cardio Fix👊) I did give 💯 which makes me feel a little better. Because I could have “worked out” and not give any effort. Anyways, rant over and thanks for reading if you’ve gotten to this point 😊

thnks-fr-th-mngs  asked:

You mentioned kisses being VERY rare. Can we we get a little fic for what the first kiss is like? Is it angry to prove a point? Is it sweet after a romantic spoiling date? Is it that the person of interest did something Dark needed and as a reward gave them a kiss? Take your time cause senior projects are literal Satan but little fic please!

You’ve never been more right about senior projects, ugh. Why do I need to do an 8-page paper AND create a tangible product AND a powerpoint AND log 30+ hours working on this thing, 10 of which with a mentor, stop this. I’m not even gonna be a chiropractor, it was just the most convenient thing.

To be honest, the first kiss depends entirely on the reader and their attitude, but I certainly like the idea of a really sweet one. That’s just my mood right now. I hope you enjoy!

You were glad to go on dates with Dark. He was as sweet as could be and always insisted on seeing you to your door. You had been on plenty of dates by this point. In fact, you had been dating Dark for… how long had it been now? Three months? That sounded right.

Yet the most he had ever done with you was hold your hand. It was cute in its own way, but more than once when you had almost leaned in for a kiss, Dark seemed to leave. His timing was awful. 

It frustrated you a little bit. It had been long enough, but still it had never happened. It wasn’t much, just a kiss. At this point, you’d even settle for a rather chaste peck on the cheek.

This date marked the three-month anniversary (you think) and it was going great. You ate out at your favorite restaurant and Dark presented you a lovely bouquet of red roses.

You stood in front of your door, smiling happily. “Thank you for the lovely time tonight, Dark. I had fun!”

Dark smiled back politely. “I’m very glad to hear that. Oh, but before I leave, I have one more thing to give you.”

Before you could ask what it was, his lips met yours. It was just a moment, but it was a wonderful moment. It was nothing much, but considering his track record of not kissing you, it was very surprising.

Dark chuckled. “You look stunned.”

You blinked a couple of times before grinning like a fool. “That was possibly the one thing that could’ve made the night better.”

Dark glanced at the watch on his wrist. “I really must be going. Have a good night.”

You nodded and went inside, not seeing the strange grin on Dark’s face as he took his leave.

participated in a lot of good aesthetic pretty self love tonight. i pulled my hair back and braided it before bed, i washed my face and didn’t forget my night cream. i brushed my teeth with my new tooth brush which is amazing and i love it???! and i even moisturized, somewhat. i used white strips on my teeth. it feels weird. i did every single piece of laundry on my floor. which was a lot. because i went through a really bad two weeks and i’ve let things grow and grow in a really negative way and i’ve been doing some really ugly self care. the type that crawls into bed immediately after work. that stares at phone apps for hours instead of interacting with people. the putting on just enough makeup to get by and the getting to work on time somehow, every day. the not quite showering as often as i should, but trying.
i had a really good sunday night and i’m ready to get some really good sleep and face monday head on. my job may be super fucking shitty, and it may bring me down to still be stuck in the middle of winter, i may not have any extra money to my name, or enough savings to save myself, but i’m still floating and fighting a really shitty current right now. things will turn up. they always do. i’m having a really bad time right now. but i’m still trying.

More often than not, I found myself moving along with the motions as if they were apart of my identity.

The same people-pleasing routine, with a smile plastered along my face that weighed my head down after a long day of pretending to enjoy those 12 hour shifts.

As much inadequate human contact I encounter in the “working industry”, you would think I would have found purpose by now. So many wandering souls with their own set of perks and demises- but no. I haven’t found purpose. Better yet, the little dignity I did have has been stripped from my core by the power of business.

When asked, “What do you want to do with your life?” I’ve always said the same thing with my shoulders broadened and the exact convincing tone each and every time and their responses have never failed to stray in different directions.

“Do what makes you happy.” I almost laugh because I know, from experience that they don’t mean an ounce of that sentences weight.
Why don’t they say what they mean? “Do what makes you money.” We all know they’re thinking it because truth is, know their corporate jobs aren’t an exciting adventure that awaits.

So I have promised myself to never settle for the purpose of a dollar. With nothing to show for any money ever titled with my name, this society of wealth has drained who I am and I won’t uproot the wholeness of my heart to be corporally inclined.

We don’t have to settle just to make a buck. We have soul and passion and that’s got to be more of value than any check i’ve ever signed.

—  loren mclelland
// I don’t need money, I need heart

“John Frusciante from the Chili Peppers stopped by my house. We ended up talking for hours about many things and then we went to his house and listened to a ton of cool music. He is a very special person with a deep passion for music, the guitar and life. Although I did not get any work done today, after I left his house I felt as though I really needed the experience to balance myself out a bit after being buried in the studio for so long. It’s so rare that I get to just hang out with interesting people who I resonate both musically, personally and spiritually with. I discovered a gold mine in John. (Steve Vai, February 20, 2007) 

So. I did a thing recently.

I was raised in Christian (nondenominational) home. My grandfather is a Reverend, my grandmother an active participant in church until she got sick, and most of my family in and out of church but still Christian. I never liked any of the churches we were in, coincidentally they were usually made up of family. And when I was at church, my mind would always drift to thinking of ANYTHING else.

And at one point, I really do feel like I believed in God. And then two babies I carried died in me. And to some, is that the worst thing in the world? Am I really going to let that alter my faith? The answer is simply: yes. I thought it was apart of the depression. That I would grow out of it. But being completely honest with myself, I don’t think that’s the case.

I finally told my husband, who also grew up Christian but isn’t overly religious, I do not really think I believe in God anymore. And that scares me. Because I WANT to believe in something. I don’t mean I want to convert….I just want to believe that there isn’t an entity that predetermined I would lose two babies and that there was a purpose. I’m sorry but that’s bullshit. And it’s not comforting. Sometimes I talk to…whoever I think is there. I mean that’s what many of us do anyway, right? Follow by faith not by sight, I get it. Except I just don’t believe it anymore.

I’m not sure what I believe in anymore.

Really hope no one takes offense. I’m just thinking out loud so I don’t know if I would really care if that hurts another’s feelings. I’m entitled to believe what I would like to believe without having to feel like I’m disappointing someone or believe in something out of fear.

So my sister dropped the laptop the other day. Down a flight of stairs. This thing, which was already effed up, managed to still stay kicking. I had thought, beyond the damage done to the internal fan, that it was okay.

It was not.

The laptop is having trouble with overheating, speed, the keys have been jammed, and in the middle of writing chapter ten of Haute today, the whole thing froze but overheated at the same time. In that time after dropping it, whatever she did, got a massive virus on it too. Programs would not work. The cursor wouldn’t show up!

All that progress I made was lost. A thousand words just fucking lost because the thing had to be shut off manually. My mom had to run a huge ass scan. 2 hours of the thing not working! The scan even froze for half an hour! It had to be restarted and done again!

I’m not happy. I just had to rewrite a part I don’t even remember and replace it with something else.

This part was much longer though, so meh! And without being able to listen to music to block shit out, I had to hear the whining all day!

I still can’t believe Bones will be over in a few hours. I finally have the energy to write down my feelings without crying (maybe a few tears).

In 2012 at the 26th of november I had a very bad day at school. That was the first day in my life when something didn’t work out the way I planned. I was so disappointed and sad that I just went home, turned on the TV and watched it for hours. That night the season 6 finale was on and I just started watching it. After watching the episode I turned on my laptop and watched Bones all night long. The following days the only thing I did was watching as many episodes as it was possible. We can say it was love at first sight. I fall in love with the cemistry between Booth & Brennan, it was truly something I’ve never seen before, I fall in love with the friendship between Angela & Brennan I hope one day I’ll have a friendship like their, I fall in love with the crazy experiments Hodgins did, sometimes I just wanted to try them at home, and I fall in love with the squints who were so funny, annoying and adorable at the same time. Before watching Bones I’ve never cried and laughed that much on a tv show. When I finished the seasons that were in my language I started watching new episodes in english and here comes the first thing why I’m more than grateful for Bones. Without Bones I couldn’t speek in english as well as I speak now. Watching it in english helped me to improve my speaking and listening skills in a very short time. I became one of the best english-speaker in my class and it’s an amazing feeling that I consider english my second mother-language.

As I remember well the first night I stayed up till 2am to watch the latest episode of  Bones was at the beginning of season 8(time difference is such a terrible thing). First it was so difficult to understand everything but later I get used to it and now when I wake up and watch a new episode I understand every little word like it was on my language. Since the first night I stayed up to watch Bones I missed less than 5 episodes, besides them I watched every episode the same time it was airing in the US.  Now I don’t even need an alarm clock to wake me up at 2am or this season at 3am, because it became a habit. Maybe it sounds crazy but I’m going to miss these hours spent awake in the middle of the night and the following days when I had to go to school after I only slept 2 or 3 hours. These nights were the best part of my weekdays for years.

Thanks to Bones I met so many amazing people. I became a twitter geek almost at the same time I started watching Bones. I became friends with people from all around the World. I will never forget the thousands of conversations and happy moments we had. Boneheads will always have a special place in my heart. Not to mention that I met a girl who is from Hungary just like me and as it turned out we are like twins. We became each others soulmate’s and hopefully we are going to meet in person in a few weeks. For more than a year now, we stay up together to watch Bones and sometimes we stayed up till the morning after watching an episode. So THANK YOU Bones for friendships like these ones. ♥

I never thought in a million year that this tv show will be the one that both me and my sister will love so much. My sister started watching Bones a few months after me and since then we are watching it together. We even have a few inside jokes like when she says „Whoa” I always say „horse”. My parents have never been a huge fan of dead bodies and murders but I was able to convince them to watch a few episodes and they also liked it more than I expected. They never became huge fans, but for my 18th birthday they bought me a same dolphin ring that Brennan has. I wear that ring for 3 years now and it will always remind me of Bones.

Now I wanna say thank you to everyone who has ever been part of Bones. From script writers to the actors. THANK YOU for creating magic!

Through the years I’ve learned so much from this show. I became a better friend, a better sister and most importantly a better person because of Bones. It happened many times that I gave an advice to my friends that I saw on Bones and most of the time it worked. I fell in love not only with the characters but also the actors. I watched an uncountable amount of interviews with the cast of Bones which had the power to cheer me up when I was in a bad mood. I saved about 10 videos for bad days because I knew they will make me forget about the bad things no matter how many times I watch them. Thank you Emily, David, Michaela, Tamara, TJ and every actor who has ever been part of Bones. You’re all amazing actors and wonderful people! ♥

I almost forgot to mention the fanfictions. To every Bones fanfiction writer: Thank you for writing so many amazing stories!!! I read more than two thousand fanfictions that helped me survive a long hiatus and filled in the missing scenes from the show. I even printed out a few fanfictions which I still read whenever I have time.

Last but not least, a honorable mention to my social media life that was the most active during the past years when I was watching Bones. I couldn’t believe when I was noticed by Hart Hanson, David, Michaela, TJ and the official Bones twitter account. Once I created a solution to the 447 mistery which turned out to be false but it became so popular both on twitter and tumblr that I couldn’t believe it. A special thank you to @maskedscheduler who picked me as a Bones poster winner not only once but twice. I put those posters on my wall a few years ago and I still adore them.

After tonight maybe an era of my life will be over but never’ll be forgotten! I’ll be forever grateful for the things I got from this show. I have to say that I’m the luckiest person in the World because I got to be the part of this special Bones-family. THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! ♥

anonymous asked:

Ian is always trying to get Mickey to run. Every morning, after coffee, it’s “come on, mick! We need the exercise! Lets go!” But Mickey wants nothing to do with it. Finally after hours of pleading Mickey says, “Fine! You wanna exercise? Lets fucking exercise!” And he takes him into the bedroom and rides Ian until they’re both too tired to move.

romeanoff answered:

oh my god p l e a s e

Okay so i did a thing. And here is the thing:

My smut is terrible. I’m not sure how i feel about this but i love the idea so i did it. Please don’t hate me.

anonymous asked:

My asshole sperm donor does zero fucking shit in the house. Even when me and my mother went on a trip for 10 days, every single chore fell to my little sister, laundry, cooking, dish washing, house cleaning, feeding and cleaning after my cat. He's a fucking 50 yrs old who does freelance work and has ample free time. She's in her first year of high school, and has to attend classes every weekday for 6-8 hours.

I’m speechless. That makes me really angry for you and your sister. Like, yes, make your kid learn how to do all those things. But don’t make them do all the chores always? Kids are people, too. They deserve respect. You can’t treat them like dirt just because they’re young. 

Did you know there’s a gender gap in chores? Girls spend 40% more time doing chores than guys!

Send us your stories of sexism in your household

Mod Marie-Rose

Me, a few minutes before sitting down to do some practice doodles: “I’m really looking forward to improving with this.  It’s going to take a lot of work and time but eventually it’s going to pay off.  Maybe I’ll be happy with this one!”

Me, towards the end of and for several hours after finishing doing practice doodles: “Holy fuck none of this is even remotely salvageable.  This looks like the same level of garbage I did last week, and the week before that.  I still haven’t even practiced drawing bodies because these heads are so bad.  I’m like something out of a King Midas AU, but with shit-touch.”

anonymous asked:

How many hours of work do you think an HSC student should do per day? I mean I know it depends on personality type and how fast one learns but what do u think is normal? :(

I agree with you, it’s definitely a matter of how fast you work and what subjects etc. I have heaps of frees (18 free periods and 32 school periods) because I did maths ext last year, so I do a lot of my work at school rather than home. 

The thing I’ve learnt this year is definitely to work smart and not hard. I used to put heaps of hours into my subjects like bio and chem, but it’s better to put your hours into revising correctly and not have this mentality of more hours = more prepared. Personally I do 2-3 hours a night which isn’t nearly as much as others but I also have average 2 frees per day/ after school tutoring.